playing with a demanding partner

[patrick922]

i have a partner who i dont particularly enjoy playing with. i dont know if he is mad at me but every point that we lose, he kind of mumbles to himself. i puts a lot of pressure on me do play well and i dont like that pressure. what should i do about it? i dont want to tell him like 'hey, you are putting pressure on me'

[Jack Romeo]

why don't you just dump him?

[patrick922]

why don't you just dump him?

but he is a very good friend of mine

[fearless1]

but he is a very good friend of mine

Good...when you aren't playing doubles and your partner becomes a "friend" again, is the best time to address your doubles issues with him.

[TriCitiesTennis]

I think you got to straight up tell him. That's how I addressed my partner issues from a few days ago and it seems to have worked.

We won 6-1, 6-2 today.

[andyroddick's mojo]

you could just get better, then he'd accept that its not your fault that you're losing, and he would start blaming himself. If you win all the points for you guys, and lose as little as possible, he better not still be mad.

[Solat]

you could just get better, then he'd accept that its not your fault that you're losing, and he would start blaming himself. If you win all the points for you guys, and lose as little as possible, he better not still be mad.

yeah coz i am sure that they are deliberately not trying to play the best tennis they can :roll:

[Swissv2]

If he is your friend, you gotta communicate.
But if your doubles is not going to work out, you have to agree to being on a different team with no hard feelings.

Good luck.

[Gemini]

I agree that you have to communicate. If he's as good a friend as you think he is, he'll be willing to talk about the things that happened during the match that bothered him.

I had a partner one time where he pointed out that I was going for too much on my first serves and that I was missing way too much. He may have been right but I pointed out to him that every time he got a sitter volley at the net, he would simply push the ball back giving our opponents an easy second shot to win the point. I also pointed out that he often threw up way too many short lobs thereby putting me in danger when I was at the net.

In the end, I was willing to listen to his criticism and adapt the way I play and he made some changes for the most part as well. We started playing better together but still never clicked as partners. Our peronalities didn't match very well as doubles partners even though we are great friends.

The key is to communicate and figure out what's happening on court that's "ticking" him off and work to fix it, but he's got to be open to that. Also, if it's a criticism of something that you're doing, you need to be open to that without much offense and decide if it's really what you're doing that's "hurting" the team. Granted, he's not perfect either and he needs to own up to his share of the blame as well.

Just my .02.

[slice bh compliment]

Help him develop a better relationship with his mother. And his father.;)

Poor kid does not understand that when you are enjoying the competition....enjoying the process, you tend to play better. The journey IS the destination. This ought to be the first thing a coach ought to show a beginner -- in ANY sport, art or discipline.

If you cannot change him, learn to breathe through the stress he puts you through. Learn to forgive yourself for errors. And keep forgiving him. Something process-oriented like, "all-right, good stuff, one at a time, we're getting there". Pretend he is forgiving you as well. Learn to pump him up, so he feels positivity, and so he can learn how good it feels to be supported by his partner during a match -- unconditionally.

[LuckyR]

i have a partner who i dont particularly enjoy playing with. i dont know if he is mad at me but every point that we lose, he kind of mumbles to himself. i puts a lot of pressure on me do play well and i dont like that pressure. what should i do about it? i dont want to tell him like 'hey, you are putting pressure on me'



You need to appeal to his sense of competition and tell him (off of the court) that his mumbling is not helping your play and that you guys need to play as a team to suceed at doubles (which is true) and his behavior is not contributing to the team. If can't/won't get it --> move along or play as his partner only for "fun" matches.

[bluegrasser]

i have a partner who i dont particularly enjoy playing with. i dont know if he is mad at me but every point that we lose, he kind of mumbles to himself. i puts a lot of pressure on me do play well and i dont like that pressure. what should i do about it? i dont want to tell him like 'hey, you are putting pressure on me'

My advice - find another partner..

[Cindysphinx]

I don't get it. What makes you think he is unhappy with you?

I mumble, mutter, scold, harangue, encourage and coach all the time in doubles.

I am always talking to myself when I do this.

[LuckyR]

I don't get it. What makes you think he is unhappy with you?

I mumble, mutter, scold, harangue, encourage and coach all the time in doubles.

I am always talking to myself when I do this.


Of course you are, but your partner doesn't know that, especially it is done after they think they made a mistake.

[patrick922]

he actually said in a conversation that he is hard on me at times....because he knows that i could do better....[this wasnt a one on one conversation, it was a conversation with a group.

[Trinity TC]

Never play tournament doubles with a good friend and never play mixed doubles with your wife or girlfriend.:p

[Cindysphinx]

he actually said in a conversation that he is hard on me at times....because he knows that i could do better....[this wasnt a one on one conversation, it was a conversation with a group.

"Hard on you"?

It's not his job to be hard on you. It's his job to worry about his own strokes and to help you two as a team find a way to win. If the team has to win with your making a backpack full of errors, then you both need to find a way to make that happen. Common sense also suggests that positive encouragement is much more effective than criticism or scolding. I mean, if he thinks your overhead is unsteady, for instance, then he should call all high balls that he can reach and smash them so hard they go to China, rather than acting disappointed when you miss the shot.

If I had a partner who felt she was accomplishing something by being hard on me, I would need a new partner.

[Andy270211]

Sometimes you need a bit of luck.

Play very well for one time and you can like imprint an image in him...