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kissmyace
04-29-2007, 02:05 AM
Any player, any era, in their respective primes, in the mix together.

Group One

Federer
Becker
Laver
Borg

Group Two

Lendl
Rafter
Mac
Nadal


Group Three

Edberg
Conners
Agassi
Rosewall

Group Four

Wilander
Cash
Murray
Serena Williams


And who'd come out in each??
This is my list, feel free to edit as you see fit.

illkhiboy
04-29-2007, 02:32 AM
How did Serena Williams get in? She would get whopped by a 50 year McEnroe.

slice bh compliment
04-29-2007, 02:59 AM
The stage:
Centre Court at the All England Club. Two out of three in the RR. Two advance from each group. Quarters, semis and final are 3 out of 5.

Group One

Becker advances from every possible group, except the one you've got him in...unless maybe if Brad Gilbert's in it (but he was not invited as a player, only as Murray's coach). Roger and Laver advance. This could and should be the final. Borg's feelings are hurt, so he retires. So does Boris. They realize they have the same initials and later are seen together at a west-end sushi bar.

Group Two

Nice touch -- cool group -- two superb baseliners and two attackers. Mac stops loving on Nadal just long enough to advance from that group on games won %. Nadal loses to Rafter, too, but beats Lendl. Lendl advances 'cause he beats the two serve and volleyers.

Group Three

Jimmy and Dre advance easily, even though the crowd was heavily for Rosewall and Edberg.

Group Four

Murray serves up two bagels for Serena. Cash has mercy and keeps his match with Serena fairly close, totally 'getting' why she's in the draw. Wins the group since this thing is played on grass. He, of course, is on his kind of grass. Wilander pokes fun of Murray in the third, incessantly whining like Napoloen Dynamite and gets in the Scot's voluminous head. THen he starts doing Mike Myers' Scottish father from 'So I Married and Axe Murderer', telling Murray to "move yerr heed, I cant see to scorrborrd...yerr noggin, geez man, ets heuuuj, ets like spotnik, ets like an orange on a toothpeck!" Gives Andy the nickname, "HEEAD". Murray cramps. And totally crumbles. Whines that he could have won this whole tournament "eff it weren't ferr thaat bulleh, Willenderr." Fred Perry storms onto the court after the match and violently tears his logo off of every shirt in Andy's bag.

Quarters:

Laver plays valiantly in a loss to Mac. It comes down to Mac playing the cleanest match ever (cleaner than even the 83 and 84 Wimbledon finals). John's behavior is impeccable. Laver is gracious in defeat.

Roger crushes Jimmy in a battle of lookalikes. It's not even close (6-2, 6-2, 6-0) but Jimmy felt he was in it all the way until the end.

Dre overpowers Cash in four. Sets a landspeed record for passing shots.

Lendl needs an IV after a five set win over Wilander.

Semis:

On a windy morning, Roger overcomes Agassi in four. Again.

By popular demand, Rosewall and Laver play a dubs exo against Gonzales and Kramer between the two semis. What a display of ultra-modern tennis! Concensus is, any of the four would have outclassed all four semifinalists on the day.

Mac is at his all-time worst as he royally ****es off Lendl in a five-set disaster that had the tournament referee replace the chair umpire on two separate occasions. Later we find out that Mac watched the tape of the 84 RG final seven times the night before this match.

THE Final:

Nike does their best to hype this, and they ensure that McEnroe's Dunlop Max 200G frames are souped up to perfection. Federer's sticks...not so much. Plus he is rattled and feeling a lot of rejection, since Nike's got Tiger sitting in the McEnroe's box. Whaaaa?

Mac races to a two sets to love lead and a gets the early break, at which point John Cauthen raids the Wilson Pro Room and delivers a 'package' to Roger's bench. With contraband custom sticks, Roger proceeds to pull off the comeback of the century: 4-6, 1-6, 7-5, 7-5, 6-4.

Inspired by Guga at the 2001 RG, Mac takes a pick-axe to the grass and carves forty-foot middle finger in the midcourt. He cruises up to the member's area and demands a copy of the Beatles' White album, a steak sandwich, the head of John Cauthen and ... a steak sandwich. He puts it all on the Underhill's tab.

Nicky Bollettieri hits on Mirka profusely at the Champion's Ball later that evening. She throws up a little bit in her mouth at first, but, by the end of the night admires little Nick's tenacity. She likens him to the Al Pacino character in The Devil's Advocate.

OrangeOne
04-29-2007, 03:19 AM
I'd prefer one of the groups to be

Agassi
Fed
Lendl
Me!

Sure, I wouldn't win a game, more balls would go back and forth in the warmups than the sets, and I'd be lucky to win a point, but geez it'd be the week of my sporting life! :)

forzainter
04-29-2007, 04:06 AM
why is murray in there?

kissmyace
04-29-2007, 04:29 AM
Slice BH Compliment.... genius, absolute genius, the event went better than i could possibly imagined!!!

Williams made it in there because it mixed and spiced things up a little, and Murray because of all the reasons that Slice gave in his tournament report!!! Well done again fella