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monkeyisland90
05-09-2007, 02:37 PM
I have to much envy. Please tell me what are good tips on overcoming this painful emotion... please no sarcasm .. Basically, I practice and play matches a lot and think i'm doing good until i see someone way better then me or play someone way better then me and feel awful.

LarougeNY
05-09-2007, 02:42 PM
dude, thats the way life is. There's alway someone better. I go to tournaments a lot and sometimes I get my @$$ kicked, and especially in front of my parents, so I used to feel awful too. Now I just know, There's alway someone better

Solat
05-09-2007, 05:41 PM
Envy can be a positive, it can drive you to succeed and push harder, use the force for good not evil :lol:

Bagumbawalla
05-09-2007, 06:31 PM
Envy is a childish emotion, like not being able to share ones toys. Usually, as a person grows up and begins to see the world and other people from new and different perspectives, we grow out of this self-centered viewpoint.

The very fact that you are self-aware of your inner emotional content, tells me that you will soon be growing out of this stage and into another-- something like working your way up the tennis ladder to enlightenment.

Anyway, don't fret. Many people confuse their job, income, house, power, winning with who they really are, and that is a shame.

Learning, experience, and especially empathy for others are far more important than winning a tennis game, but do you ever see someone envy the kindness/generosity/understanding/compassion of another individual?

B

Tennismastery
05-09-2007, 07:06 PM
Turn your envy into an objective admiration, one in which you can analyze and emulate...this will turn a subjective and useless emotion into a useful and motivational tool.

I grew up looking up to many players as a junior...only to concentrate on what I liked about their game, why I liked it, and then figured out how to do it myself. We didn't have the tools that are available today, (DVD's, Tennis Web sites, video tape), so we had to watch closely and take notes and use our brains a lot! (And our memory too!)

Believe me, if you look upon such players with this mindset, one that says, "Yes, they are good...but I plan to become even better," and then set up a legitimate plan to achieve this goal, if your goal is sincere, you will inded reach it.

ps60
05-09-2007, 07:16 PM
go see some live matches of the tour pro. and yr envy will only become admiration.

Here, we have WTP players every yr before AO. We had Clijster, Chang, Dementieva, Vadisova, Kuznetsova, Schnyder and a young Scotish player 16 yo, etc this yr. Isn't it great ?

Used to have Federer and Moya, Sampras and Ferrero too. But local tennis admin becomes too disappointing and they don't come no more.

Once u 've seen Max Miryni serve or even Kuznetsova's serve, you won't be too proud of yourself. :)

HyperHorse
05-09-2007, 09:17 PM
Hit the weights room and raise your expectations...
You might want to try at setting higher goals if you want to improve your tennis.

Sakumo
05-09-2007, 09:51 PM
In my view envy is good. It drives me to become better, if I see someone hitting I never think oh wow that person is better then me, and he is my age, crap, I'm not going to be the next Roder. I think, in one month that person is going to get bageled by me, I'm going to work my ***** off and improve my so and so to whoop him. But as someone else said, there is always going to be someone better then you, but you run your own life and you have the choice to change that.

andreh
05-10-2007, 12:24 AM
dude, thats the way life is. There's alway someone better. I go to tournaments a lot and sometimes I get my @$$ kicked, and especially in front of my parents, so I used to feel awful too. Now I just know, There's alway someone better

Ditto. This is true for almost everyone, except for the one who actually is the best. Most of us have to live with relative mediocracy. But I still say go ahead and push yourself to become as good as you can get.

fgs
05-10-2007, 02:27 AM
you have to learn to be yourself. once you stop trying to be like others, you will be able to channel the energy into getting the best that you can get, as 'andreh' pointed out. just give this a thought: let's assume you get to be no.1 in the atp - will that be like (currently) roger federer or will that be like the best that YOU were able to get.
be prepared to put in a lot of hard work and dedication if you want to improve your level of play. one of the most frequent mistakes i have seen is that people tend to look at what others have achieved, but they seldom look at the price (= hard work) these people have paid.

Mountain Ghost
05-10-2007, 10:35 AM
Envy? This is a joke, right?

I grew up in Southern California, where there were no illusions about how good or bad anyone was on the court. To watch better players was an informative treat. To be able to hit with (or play) better players was a pure and simple honor.

If you canít learn to see the benefit of hanging one-on-one with people who are better than you are, then developing a decent tennis game will be VERY difficult. But to take it a step further . . . no matter what you decide to do in life, to do it well youíre going to have to stop seeing the excellence of others as a sign of personal defeat and start using it as an inspiration to improve.

Might as well do it NOW!

MG

Tennismastery
05-10-2007, 10:48 AM
MG...that is a great post! Well said.

shindemac
05-10-2007, 12:09 PM
You have to assess the reasons why u want to play tennis. For me, it's a sport that I've always loved, and it's a lot of fun no matter how good or bad I am. So it's important what kind of mindset you have. Are you playing because your parents want you to, or you want to be better than someone, or because you are actually having fun?!

jasoncho92
05-10-2007, 01:24 PM
You must be pretty young if you have these feelings. I play against people who usually are a lot better than me and i feel good when i play against them because i can gauge how much better ive become

monkeyisland90
05-11-2007, 01:43 PM
Great tips guys i will take each one and insert it in my brain (may take me awhile though)..

zapvor
05-11-2007, 04:53 PM
give him a break guys he is on the monkeyisland ;)

samizram
05-11-2007, 07:50 PM
It's amazing what a lot of hooey can pile up around here. And somehow envy even turns out to be good and Southern California has something to do with it. Yikes.

Tim Tennis
05-12-2007, 05:08 AM
envy >noun (pl. envies) 1 discontented or resentful longing aroused by another's possessions, qualities, or luck.

I think I can honestly say I have never envied anyone. I certainly have admired and appreciated the abilities of others both mental and physical that far exceed any capabilities of mine but never have I said to myself that I wish I could trade places with that person.

I have always been very grateful for the "gifts" that I do have.

Ed
Tennis Geometrics