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View Full Version : If your next opponent were Federer, what would you do?


tennis_hand
06-04-2007, 12:20 AM
so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.
How and what would you do to prepare, play, etc?

Discuss! :p

lawrence
06-04-2007, 12:51 AM
id pack my bag of course

with a digital camera, extra battery, some of those oversized tennis balls, and a new pack of permanent markers/laundry markers

oh and maybe bring some other stuff along, maybe some racquets or something i dunno

Alafter
06-04-2007, 01:28 AM
I would bring all my racquets and a marker pen and ask him to sign on the racquets. Imagine--your racquet, with Roger's signature.

Of course, trying to win is a different thing. I'd bring a club to break his ankle.

idioteque
06-04-2007, 02:19 AM
I'd give him the first set so he doesn't feel too bad.

raiden031
06-04-2007, 03:12 AM
My preparation for playing Federer would be to book some nice excursions to begin the day after my match with Federer in whatever city the tournament is being held.

Rabbit
06-04-2007, 03:14 AM
take up golf?

Povl Carstensen
06-04-2007, 04:01 AM
Beat him in his own game.

OrangeOne
06-04-2007, 04:19 AM
Unlike almost everyone here, I'd want to live the moment, not simply commemorate it for later!

I'd want to play for as long as possible, and hope I played even a single good point :)

goforgold99
06-04-2007, 09:05 AM
I'd try to play the perfect pusher game and hope that Fed makes mistakes and has a really bad day :D

skiracer55
06-04-2007, 09:23 AM
...and hope he falls down laughing and is unable to continue...

Andres
06-04-2007, 09:40 AM
Bring a shotgun :D

drakulie
06-04-2007, 09:41 AM
so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.
How and what would you do to prepare, play, etc?

Discuss! :p

My preparation would be to prepare to be bagled not only in sets, but in points as well, and just enjoy the experience.

Baghdatis72
06-04-2007, 09:43 AM
Wear a T-shirt saying Vamos Rafa so that he constantly stares at it and mishit the ball :lol:

Swinging Simian
06-04-2007, 09:57 AM
Hire ninjas to poison him, just enough for him to play like a zombie. Maybe pay a little extra for them to hobble him in case the poison doesn't work. =)


hmm... maybe I should suggest this to Roddick.

rommil
06-04-2007, 10:00 AM
I would sternly warn Roger he will be facing shots he'd never seen before lol...

ksbh
06-04-2007, 10:03 AM
If my name was Rafael Nadal, I wouldn't worry about the match.

If it was some other name, I'd pack my bags and look for an early exit!

so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.
How and what would you do to prepare, play, etc?

Discuss! :p

ferocious4hand
06-04-2007, 10:08 AM
I'd pull a Tonya Harding on him

danb
06-04-2007, 10:30 AM
If my name was Rafael Nadal, I wouldn't worry about the match.

If it was some other name, I'd pack my bags and look for an early exit!

CORRRRRREEEEECT!
Unfortunately there are too many pygmies in his generation so I cannot tell how tough he is mentally. For sure he is intimidated by Rafa (maybe - maybe even Canas). I never saw Sampras intimidated the way we see Federer intimidated by Nadal.

Nuke
06-04-2007, 10:32 AM
I'd let him beat me 6-0 6-0 6-0 (yeah, like I'd have a choice) in record time. I'd run to the baseline to receive the next ace, pop my 4 serves into the net, hurry up on changeovers. I'd forever be in the record books as the fastet three-set loss in tennis history.

BreakPoint
06-04-2007, 10:33 AM
so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.
How and what would you do to prepare, play, etc?

I'd give Jeff Gillooly a call. ;)

pow
06-04-2007, 10:51 AM
Be prepared to lose badly like Gaudio.

ShooterMcMarco
06-04-2007, 11:01 AM
My preparation would be to prepare to be bagled not only in sets, but in points as well, and just enjoy the experience.

You would also switch to larger headsize wouldn't you? At least with a 120 sq in racquet you might be able to get a piece of frame on the ball.

fastdunn
06-04-2007, 11:06 AM
so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.
How and what would you do to prepare, play, etc?

Discuss! :p

I would get to the net every single point.

I would try to block return Fed's serves well inside the baseline and get
to the net.

I would serve and volley for 1st and 2nd serve.

It would need mcEnroe's strategy against Lendle.

RedWeb
06-04-2007, 11:08 AM
I'd bring my hot girlfriend to show I at least had an edge on Roger in some area... oh and a 130" racket... and a bandana... and a muscle shirt... and long pants.

fujitsu77
06-04-2007, 11:18 AM
Stop, BIG BUBBA TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lsmkenpo
06-04-2007, 11:31 AM
I would yell really loud everytime i hit the ball, If he ever missed a shot i would pump my fist and yell cmon. I would change my racquet during a polnt even though there was nothing wrong with it. Maybe get some coaching from my box. Cheat as much as i could.

chris1992
06-04-2007, 11:43 AM
i would bring in the model ball girls and hope they distract him but realistically i would ask him for help on my shots and to forget about the match.

jfmcdowell357
06-04-2007, 11:47 AM
LOL, these responses are hilarious.
If I were playing Fed in my next ALTA match, my whole focus would be to win the current point, and only that point. I would try to lob, put lots of junk on the ball, push, and do anything I could not to have three golden sets put up on me :-)

Zets147
06-04-2007, 11:49 AM
steal his racquets

ShooterMcMarco
06-04-2007, 11:52 AM
steal his racquets

Just steal his entire bag and swap it with an empty one. Then I would e.bay everything except for a few of his K90's.

For Sale: Federer's personal pomade, tooth brush, and ankle tape

mileslong
06-04-2007, 11:58 AM
i would play as hard as i could and if i won a point i would collapse on the court, start crying then jog to the net, shake hands and walk off blowing kisses to the fence and leave...

Sputnik
06-04-2007, 12:00 PM
a) tell him to invite Tiger to the match so I could have my tennis AND golf heros there
b) strike a bet with Tiger that if I get bageled, he has to treat me to a round of golf with him
c) get pictures and autographs with/from both of them
d) ask for tennis and golf tips

dave333
06-04-2007, 12:05 PM
I would find his locker, break it open, and restring half 40 lbs, half 78 lbs muahahaha

ksbh
06-04-2007, 12:16 PM
'pygmies in his generation' ... LOL Dan, that was funny.

yeah, I agree ... except for Nadal & Djokovic, most lack the self-belief. That's why I respect Djokovic inspite of his arrogance.

And can you believe it ... in the current field Andy Roddick is a top-5 player!

CORRRRRREEEEECT!
Unfortunately there are too many pygmies in his generation so I cannot tell how tough he is mentally. For sure he is intimidated by Rafa (maybe - maybe even Canas). I never saw Sampras intimidated the way we see Federer intimidated by Nadal.

jamumafa
06-04-2007, 12:22 PM
so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.


Bring along a attractive Ewe, and hope he gets disqualified for lude sex acts on the court.

TheNatural
06-04-2007, 12:24 PM
Every point I'd hit perfect lobs landing right in the backhand corner of the court, then charge the net yelling "MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" . And When he's about to serve I'll remind him about hsi faulty service motion..lol

zapvor
06-04-2007, 12:31 PM
bring a camcorder and get everything on tape. i dont even know. i would do so much...

The Victor
06-04-2007, 01:06 PM
I'd hit high topspin balls to his backhand... :D
If only I had the skills...

No, I'd just enjoy it. Record it, take pictures, get signatures, get bageled... :D

lostinamerica
06-04-2007, 01:12 PM
I would wonder why he is sandbagging so bad...

jamumafa
06-04-2007, 01:13 PM
I would wonder why he is sandbagging so bad...

Hah, this guy isn't 3.5!! Dirty sandbagger :P

The Victor
06-04-2007, 03:20 PM
I'd give him the first set so he doesn't feel too bad.

Hey, nice username. Kid A, right? Rock on :)

pound cat
06-04-2007, 03:46 PM
Hide. ...............

dennis10is
06-04-2007, 04:08 PM
so you were about to face the GOAT Fed on your next game.
How and what would you do to prepare, play, etc?

Discuss! :p

On my serves I would hit all aces, on my returns I would hit all winners.

That's about it, 6-0, 6-0, 6-0. I usually let him win one point per set so out of a total of 75 points played, I would win 72-3 points. That's 72 winners, zero UEF, 36 aces, no double faults. Fed would have 3 winners, zero UEF, zero aces, zero double faults. Clean match all around. I'm just too superior.

To prepare for the match, I would stop playing or practicing for a month before. Eat a lot of junk food, gain ten pounds, start smoking 4 packs a day, get drunk every night, eat food that has been left outside the fridge for days in the steaming room with no A/C.

Right before the match, I would throw up to make sure that I have nothing in my stomach, and plenty of stomach acid in my mouth, be completely dehydrated, wear the black, non-breathable sweat inducing all body outfit that wrestlers wear to lose water weight, put five pound weights on my wrist and ankles. A 50 pound backpack filled with lead. Run 10 miles with this outfil, no water, no food for the past 48 hours, lift weights just before the match. Before each point, I spin around really fast to make myself dizzy, put an eye patch on my dominant eye. During breaks, I would do one arm push up on my hitting arm. Have two portable heaters aimed at me. Hire the entire crowd to heckle me and cheer for Federer.

That's the only way that Fed can get those three points against me.

Is this the kind of asnwer you were looking for?

Frankly, how would any of us do anything against him in reality. We would go and enjoy getting crushed by him. I'm sure he would be nice and hit the ball to us and but it would be a joke.

Nextman916
06-04-2007, 04:19 PM
Set up targets on the baseline for him to hit.

tennis_hand
06-04-2007, 04:50 PM
I'll volunteer to retire and chat with him and swing his racket. ;)

BkK_b0y14
06-04-2007, 10:15 PM
kidnap mirka, and hold her as ransom making federer have to lose on purpose or else....you don't wanna know.... lol jp

Buuurnz
06-04-2007, 10:49 PM
I'd just go out there and have the fun of my life playing a livin legend ;)!
I'd go for winners and a lot of spin tho!

SoBad
06-04-2007, 10:54 PM
I would be sure to serve well in my own service games, so that he'd feel pressured on his serve. On his service games, I would make sure to return first serves deep and then take control of the point by attacking his backhand. His second serves I would attack to put away for winner returns. Good topic.

fednad
06-04-2007, 10:58 PM
My preparation would be to prepare to be bagled not only in sets, but in points as well, and just enjoy the experience.

ROFLMAO......HAHA
Nice one

fednad
06-04-2007, 11:00 PM
I would come wearing pirate pants, pick my butt consistently and shout vamos in case he misses first serves :-)

kanjii
06-04-2007, 11:01 PM
I would get to the net every single point.

I would try to block return Fed's serves well inside the baseline and get
to the net.

I would serve and volley for 1st and 2nd serve.

It would need mcEnroe's strategy against Lendle.


That strategy only worked for a short time, Lendl figured it out pretty quick.

Getting back to the strategy on defeating Fed...simple....give him 'roids...hemmaroids (sorry for the misspelling)..this way he couldn't play and forfeit to me.....BBBWWAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!!

rommil
06-05-2007, 07:38 AM
sorry wrong thread.......

Voltron
06-05-2007, 07:46 AM
Hire ninjas to poison him, just enough for him to play like a zombie. Maybe pay a little extra for them to hobble him in case the poison doesn't work. =)


hmm... maybe I should suggest this to Roddick.
Sounds good, but I'd also bring nunchucks for the changeovers, "Nice shots Fed, *nunchuck to teeth*" http://www.banglacommunity.com/images/satellite/smilies/ninja.gif

rafan
06-05-2007, 08:48 AM
I would give him the first set - easily - let him think I am a walkover and then come in with the rockets

The Victor
06-05-2007, 10:11 AM
Sounds good, but I'd also bring nunchucks for the changeovers, "Nice shots Fed, *nunchuck to teeth*" http://www.banglacommunity.com/images/satellite/smilies/ninja.gif

LOL :D
Good one.

TheTruth
06-05-2007, 10:41 AM
I would compete. Like Nadal says. "He is good, but I can fight too, no?" Makes sense to me. Seems like a lot of the wimps on the tour share many of you all's opinions.

lethalfang
06-05-2007, 11:03 AM
^^^^
Quitters never win. Winners never quit. However, those who never quit and never win are idiots.
If you actually get a chance to play Federer, don't be an idiot.

spadesss
06-05-2007, 11:20 AM
I'd let him beat me 6-0 6-0 6-0 (yeah, like I'd have a choice) in record time. I'd run to the baseline to receive the next ace, pop my 4 serves into the net, hurry up on changeovers. I'd forever be in the record books as the fastet three-set loss in tennis history.

i would do the opposite and try for the longest on court time by:

-using the 20 sec (or whatever amount time) allowed between points.
-make sure i go for the towel everyitme, even if i get ace and not sweat.
-go for racket change often.
-pretend i got banana or something stuck in my throat during change overs.
-never go for a winner but make sure i hit it deep with paste down the middle as much as i can. give him less angles to work with.
-always hit the ball out on my 1st serve
-bounce ball 20 times, 1 bounce per second, in between 1st and 2nd serve
-take bathroom breaks,
-injury breaks
-use my "challenges"
-get some small minor warnings, like cursing, abusing linesmens or ball kids.
-"mishit" the ball often and hit it out of the stadium so they have to open new balls often.

vlad101
06-05-2007, 11:25 AM
it would be fair if you were up 0-40 on every game.

rommil
06-05-2007, 11:29 AM
^^^^
Quitters never win. Winners never quit. However, those who never quit and never win are idiots.
If you actually get a chance to play Federer, don't be an idiot.

Nice quotes but I bet you it wouldn't take a lot from Federer to make everybody here look like one on the court lol.

lethalfang
06-05-2007, 01:22 PM
it would be fair if you were up 0-40 on every game.

... and he has to use a racquet strung with wal-mart rubber bands, so that he's not allowed to overpower us.