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UW_Husky88
09-12-2007, 07:14 PM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?

Fedace
09-12-2007, 07:18 PM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?

You have to let her know you have something she desires. Find out what she wants in a guy and let her know you have it. For starters, tell her you are a Ranked tennis player who is going to turn pro one day.

raiden031
09-12-2007, 07:22 PM
Put it this way, if she doesn't already like you, then she's not going to like you. I'd say you should ask her out or give her some obvious signs and if she doesn't show interest, don't waste any more time trying to impress her...you'll just look like a fool. There are plenty others out there.

TokyopunK
09-12-2007, 07:27 PM
Sing "Hey There Delilah" to her but replace "Delilah" with her name. Works like a charm.

Vision84
09-12-2007, 07:27 PM
Ask her personal questions such as what she looks for in a guy and see if she shows some interest in you. If not you could always ask her out and have her say no but the chance of yes is there. It is better finding out instead of being left wondering 'what if' for the rest of your life. If she is worth having as a friend she will let you down gently and remain friends so there isn't a whole lot to lose.

mrHan
09-12-2007, 07:36 PM
Chocolates....

power_play21
09-12-2007, 07:44 PM
tell her a bunch of sweet flowery lies to make yourself sound like the perfect guy, tell her all she ever wanted to hear you know, make yourself sound like the next savior of the world, feeder of the hungry children, ambassador of moral an civility. then when you start noticing her eyes shiny when you talk to her, ask her out to dinner, pretend to know about cuisine, that you cook really well, btw, you learned it with your italian grandman when you were a kid in sicily (theres a goo lie to start with). then after dinner, take her home and show her your wine collection (buy whatever, girls dont know about this **** anyways) and tell her about terroirs, and how soil and weather affect the grapes, tell her that that is like people, an she woul be like a fine french wine. omg this has never failed for me. so i hope you can have succes with my secret formula for getting girls to like you no matter what.

disclaimer: i am not responsible for anything.

Fee
09-12-2007, 07:47 PM
Husky, let me know when you want a woman's answer to this question, since that is who you are trying to attract (instead of a bunch of guys with suspicious dating histories ;) ).

Pleepers
09-12-2007, 07:48 PM
Ask her personal questions such as what she looks for in a guy and see if she shows some interest in you. If not you could always ask her out and have her say no but the chance of yes is there. It is better finding out instead of being left wondering 'what if' for the rest of your life. If she is worth having as a friend she will let you down gently and remain friends so there isn't a whole lot to lose.

I'd say the Brit is spot on ;)

Good luck kid!

bee
09-12-2007, 08:43 PM
Elevate your league.

Well, that's more of a long term approach.

I learned a lot about this when I went from being a 4th year medical student to a physician intern. I was like somebody threw a light switch on. Everything was suddenly so much easier. I was kinda' sad, in a way. I thought a sensative personality and being a really nice person accounted for more, but it turned out I just didn't have what they were looking for...until I had what they were looking for.

The reality is if you don't have what she wants, you can do anything and everything, and it won't matter. You're interested in her because she has what you want (and we know what that is, and that's perfectly normal); but do you have what she wants? They want you to have status, power and money. Good looks, personality, kindness, great insights, play guitar, play tennis...that's all good too. But you gotta' have something to bring to the party, if you know what I mean.

So, if she's out of your league and unattainable...learn something from it. Up your league! There will be many more opportunities. Be prepared next time.

35ft6
09-12-2007, 09:10 PM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this? You make a deal with the most popular girl in school. She teaches you how to be popular and in return, you give her money to fix her parent's car, which she wrecked while they're on vacation. She will teach you how to dance, dress, and behave. Soon, the girl you had your eye on is in love with you but, aghast!, so is your style mentor. But you guys will all learn an important lesson. Good luck.

Zets147
09-12-2007, 09:11 PM
Believe that you are God's gift to women (I know I am) and approach her confidently.

"Hi.. what's your name?"
the rest is history.

ShooterMcMarco
09-12-2007, 09:19 PM
Husky, let me know when you want a woman's answer to this question, since that is who you are trying to attract (instead of a bunch of guys with suspicious dating histories ;) ).

lol

This may not be true with cougars, however with kittens, what girls say they want and what they react to are very different things.

Husky, my advice to you is this:
-Don't be validation seeking. Be comfortable with who you are and that magical word "confidence" that every girl wishes in a man will come out on its own.
-If you get rejected, don't take it personally.
-Give them good eye contact. Don't stare, just talk to them as if you known them for a while. Guys who avoid eye contact come across as too shy, weak and somewhat shady.
-Don't get intimidated by beauty. Find a flaw in her. No matter how pretty she is you can make one up just so you won't psyche yourself out.
-There is no such thing as women out of your league.
-Relax

Fee
09-12-2007, 09:35 PM
Yeah, that whole 'cougar' and 'kitten' terminology needs to die right now. Or an equally derogatory pair needs to be coined for the men (as in 'children' and 'slightly larger children'). But I digress... ;)

Husky, no one is out of your league unless you believe that she is out of your league. We don't have a caste system in the US, most consenting adults are free to mingle with whatever other consenting adults they choose (upon mutual agreement, of course).

First, BE YOURSELF. Phony-ness and putting on an act is sooooo 80's (or so Reality Show script). If you try to impress her by being something you are not, she'll just bail when she finds out what you really are, right?

You say she already knows you and you are friends? Go with that, it means that you already have a foot in the door. Stop being so nervous and doing stupid things, just be a friend. Easy going, pleasant, polite, respectful, whatever. Pay attention to what she says and does, what she likes and doesn't like. If you have things in common, drop them into conversation, and don't be afraid to discuss the things that you don't have in common either (because that's being yourself). Once you've really begun to listen to her and get a feel for who she really is, then you can begin to woo her (because smart women like to be wooed).

Pull her aside one day and ask her if you can take her to dinner someday. If she says yes, tell her that she can pick whatever day works best for her. You pick the restaurant, but make it a nice one. Be yourself, even if yourself is a little bit nervous (because a little bit of that can be endearing). Be honest as well. Liars are losers.

If she says that no, she doesn't want to go to dinner with you, just say okay, let me know if you change your mind, and then let it go. The friendship is the most important thing. And you never know, she might start looking at you and wondering... and then come back to you later on and say yes (this really does happen).

Just be yourself, and be honest. :)

Zets147
09-12-2007, 09:37 PM
don't go for the dinner dates, go for lunch. lunch = yummy

(a date at a cafeteria is guaranteed victory).

Fee
09-12-2007, 09:39 PM
Lunch can be good too, especially for the young man on a budget. Also, it gives a more casual feel to the invitation. Dinner can be very serious to some people.

ShooterMcMarco
09-12-2007, 09:47 PM
Yeah, that whole 'cougar' and 'kitten' terminology needs to die right now. Or an equally derogatory pair needs to be coined for the men (as in 'children' and 'slightly larger children'). But I digress... ;)


Cubs and Lions?

Guppies and Sharks?

I'd take it a step lower than lunch, meet for coffee or a smoothie.

SoBad
09-12-2007, 11:24 PM
There is not enough specifics in the OP. You need to post a little about yourself, about the girl, the history, and what you want from her, etc., and then this thread would really come to life. "i'm a guy and i want a girl to like me" - too vague and generic (by our forum standards) for a good discussion, sorry.

akoni
09-12-2007, 11:29 PM
teach her to play tennis ;)

onehandbh
09-13-2007, 12:25 AM
Tell her you just won the lottery. j/k.

Instead of approaching it as "how to get her to ____," just
try to get to know her better. See what you have in
common and plan activities that you both my enjoy.
Look for new things you both haven't done before but may
like. Really be present and relax so that you're not a
spaz when you hang out with her (I'm not suggesting you
do what TED did in THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY though).
Really listen to what she says and remember it.
(e.g. she says she like sweet tangerines, maybe bring her
one next time you see her. but if you
weren't paying attention, you may accidentally get her a
kumquat and peel it for her and then she'll get a whole lot
of sourness.)

BreakPoint
09-13-2007, 01:02 AM
The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?
I don't know, dude. If she's way out of your league then she's always going to have the upper hand in the relationship and you'll likely just end up being her doormat.

And what do women say? Oh yeah, they usually know within the first 15 seconds of meeting a guy if they're ever going to have sex with him. So I think the odds are probably not in your favor. Hate to say it, but it's probably best to move on.

Deuce
09-13-2007, 01:43 AM
Of course, "just be yourself" is good advice... but how many of us can truly follow it.
It's kind of like saying "Don't be nervous - just play your game" to someone who's playing in the Semis of a tennis tournament for the first time. Easily said, but...

You could try this...
Buy her a sonic vibrating toothbrush.

She'll either find that it's bizarre that you're concerned about her teeth, or she'll understand the other manner in which she can use such a toothbrush. If the latter, it will open up a whole new door in your relationship.

origmarm
09-13-2007, 01:44 AM
I'd like to think I've learned two things over the years, it may just be me though. Had a lot of fun earlier on in life, had an amazing job, a sports car, a big house, too much money and so many girls. I spent a lot of time "being that guy", I wanted to be someone else, I should have been me. Then I lost it all, aged 24. The girls dissapeared, and the people I thought I knew did too. I spent the last 4yrs just being a normal guy again, met a girl when I least expected it and now I'm getting married in June. She is my world. So why the rambling story :), what did I learn?

Firstly you have to just be yourself and just let it happen, I know this is very hard but its the only way. If you really like this girl, then just be yourself and just ask her out sometime. If she says no then thats cool, I know it hurts but don't worry about it and just enjoy being friends. Often you find someone when you least expect it and when your back is turned. If its not meant to be, don't try and force it. Even if you did get together briefly like that it wouldn't last

Secondly there are a lot of people out there that want to be with other people because of what they have or what they want or some image they project. Again you need to be you and you'll find someone you like. The point is that its important to have fun and enjoy being with this person, not think you should because they are striking or because other people think they are great. Take the time to know them, not to try and project yourself and here is the key, know them, not something they have or an image they project. If you can really connect, thats what you want, and thats in how you are together, you need to be able to be completely relaxed and just be, that is the most important.

To answer your question directly, the fundamental thing is you can't get her to like you, you just have to be you and hope it works out. This doesn't mean give up, it just means live your life, have fun, be friends and just ask her out sometime. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't then hey, continue as above. If it doesn't work out that way, it probably wasn't meant to.

I'm not a girl unfortunately when it comes to giving this type of advice but thats the way I see it. I hope it helps

origmarm
09-13-2007, 01:45 AM
You could try this...
Buy her a sonic vibrating toothbrush.

She'll either find that it's bizarre that you're concerned about her teeth, or she'll understand the other manner in which she can use such a toothbrush. If the latter, it will open up a whole new door in your relationship.

This is far better advice than mine :)

35ft6
09-13-2007, 03:09 AM
By the way, not to be the wet blanket (better than a wet sock in this instance), but girls pretty much know if they're going to bone you within the first few minutes, after that, it's really difficult, if not impossible, to change their perception of you.

Aside from that, without knowing you, it's impossible to say what would work for YOU. Some guys get girls by being jerks, and others by being super nice. And then there's everything in between. Confidence is disarming and can get a girl interested, but, then again, plenty of girls out there like the shy emo types, they see confidence as cocky.

Good luck!

Topaz
09-13-2007, 03:24 AM
By the way, not to be the wet blanket (better than a wet sock in this instance), but girls pretty much know if they're going to bone you within the first few minutes, after that, it's really difficult, if not impossible, to change their perception of you.


You know, I don't understand why so many people believe this...it is utterly ridiculous IMO. With any of my relationships, I didn't even become attracted to the guy until I got to know him. I refuse to think that I'm just some kind of throw back.

movdqa
09-13-2007, 04:36 AM
If you're young, plan and live your life. If someone comes along and is a good friend, then appreciate having friends. If the relationship grows, then it grows. If not, you have friends.

topspin_17
09-13-2007, 06:26 AM
Sing "Hey There Delilah" to her but replace "Delilah" with her name. Works like a charm.

what about 'you are so beautiful'? :o


I was in a situation like this before... hehe just ask her 'how was your day' and develop into a nice conversation... and then when you're alone you let out your 'fiery instincts' ;) haha just joking (but the 'how was your day' bit is very correct).

The most important thing is to just act yourself around her; a good person don't like showy-offy people. Just make your moves subtle and sweet. Try to hang out with her more, and just wriggle your way into her world. Try to be a 'gentleman'! haha good manners always works!

Fedfan4life
09-13-2007, 06:36 AM
I'd say change your appearance and personality like this dude then you'll be a stud muffin. Girls will be eating out of your hands very soon after. Enjoy the vid.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3n6s_TRKG5w

Fee
09-13-2007, 10:45 AM
You know, I don't understand why so many people believe this...it is utterly ridiculous IMO. With any of my relationships, I didn't even become attracted to the guy until I got to know him. I refuse to think that I'm just some kind of throw back.

Yeah, I agree. I've never made that decision about a man that quickly in my life. In fact, quite the opposite usually.

I had a classmate in one of my college courses (years ago). He sat in the desk next to me every class, 3 days a week. All I noticed was this dark hair and a nose because he was so shy he spent most of the class time with his head down staring at his text book. One day in class something moderately amusing happened and while we were all laughing about it, he happened to catch my eye and smile at me, almost by accident. We started to say hello to each other in class after that, and about 3 weeks later he asked me if I would help him study for the final. We met on campus a few times, then went out once, and started dating after the class ended. My attraction to him grew over time, so yes, it can and does happen.

ShooterMcMarco
09-13-2007, 11:03 AM
Of course, "just be yourself" is good advice... but how many of us can truly follow it.
It's kind of like saying "Don't be nervous - just play your game" to someone who's playing in the Semis of a tennis tournament for the first time. Easily said, but...


I agree with this. In my experiences, whenever people told me to be myself I never was. I was insecure and uptight which didn't allow me to be in a relaxed state where I can genuinely be myself. To truly be yourself you have to drop all of your insecurities and stop looking for validation from others. Interactions with girls are supposed to be fun and easy, none of it is supposed to be hard and nerve racking. You'll find that you have the most success when everything is free flowing and you don't care about the outcome of the interaction. Girls are naturally socially savvy and they'll pick up easily whether or not you're comfortable to be around them.

Jackie T. Stephens
09-13-2007, 11:06 AM
Seriously lol?? to me theres no such thing as out of your league if she likes you then she likes you. Just text her, talk on the phone with her at night then when she gets more comfortable with you ask her out and bam! but it takes time.

chroix
09-13-2007, 11:07 AM
Go for it. If you don't you'll regret it later in life. Probably be tough, but anything worth anything usually is.

Dedans Penthouse
09-13-2007, 11:10 AM
.....Buy her a sonic vibrating toothbrush.

She'll either find that it's bizarre that you're concerned about her teeth, or she'll understand the other manner in which she can use such a toothbrush. Yes,

provided this is the same type of girl who'll go to the dentist for a haircut.

Sean Dugan
09-13-2007, 12:39 PM
Since you asked:

1) Never attempt to apply logic to a woman. They are pretty much all crazy and the hotter they are, they crazier they tend to be. (Not an absolute, but almost an absolute.)

2) If possible, become very rich and/or a celebrity. Suddenly, she will find you irresistibly attractive no matter how hideous you truly are.

3) Get her alone, get her very drunk, make a gentle move and see what happens.

4) Tell her you are a homosexual and become her best girl friend. Then implement number 3 and add something like "Even though I'm not normally attracted to women, I find myself very attracted to you." It could work. See Item 1.

5) Find someone who likes you already and focus your attentions on her.

drakulie
09-13-2007, 01:04 PM
Get her jealous by telling her you are interested in someone. If this doesn't work, read Sean Dugan's advice. If that doesn't work, take a club to her.

richw76
09-13-2007, 01:09 PM
You make a deal with the most popular girl in school. She teaches you how to be popular and in return, you give her money to fix her parent's car, which she wrecked while they're on vacation. She will teach you how to dance, dress, and behave. Soon, the girl you had your eye on is in love with you but, aghast!, so is your style mentor. But you guys will all learn an important lesson. Good luck.

I love those movies, same plot about 5 diff 80's-2000's movies rigth?

Yeah, I agree. I've never made that decision about a man that quickly in my life. In fact, quite the opposite usually.

I had a classmate in one of my college courses (years ago). He sat in the desk next to me every class, 3 days a week. All I noticed was this dark hair and a nose because he was so shy he spent most of the class time with his head down staring at his text book. One day in class something moderately amusing happened and while we were all laughing about it, he happened to catch my eye and smile at me, almost by accident. We started to say hello to each other in class after that, and about 3 weeks later he asked me if I would help him study for the final. We met on campus a few times, then went out once, and started dating after the class ended. My attraction to him grew over time, so yes, it can and does happen.

Fee I mean this in a really good way. And you are obviously a very stable, self assured, intelligent woman.... which you know makes you a complete freak and the exception that proves the rule. ;-)

Since you asked:

1) Never attempt to apply logic to a woman. They are pretty much all crazy and the hotter they are, they crazier they tend to be. (Not an absolute, but almost an absolute.)

2) If possible, become very rich and/or a celebrity. Suddenly, she will find you irresistibly attractive no matter how hideous you truly are.

3) Get her alone, get her very drunk, make a gentle move and see what happens.

4) Tell her you are a homosexual and become her best girl friend. Then implement number 3 and add something like "Even though I'm not normally attracted to women, I find myself very attracted to you." It could work. See Item 1.

5) Find someone who likes you already and focus your attentions on her.

I'd add one more NEVER, EVER tell a girl something like "you are to good for me" or "I'm so lucky to be with you" or "why do you like me" when a chic would say that to me I would run for the hills.

And Sean Dugan you are a genius!! Now the trick to number 3, so you don't become a date rapist ;-) Afew drinks is cool, so drunk she can't walk not cool. Alchohol as social lubricant is time tested but like I said don't be that guy. Also, I stayed in the dorms in college for 3 years for a reason, easy access. I was in coed dorms so we would all hang out, and it was all friendly, playing cards or whatever. Then it's a month or year later. Your at a club or party see ________ bam instant hook up maybe more cause she confesses she likes you. Just like money :-) youth is wasted on the young.

Sean Dugan
09-13-2007, 01:20 PM
Get her jealous by telling her you are interested in someone. If this doesn't work, read Sean Dugan's advice. If that doesn't work, take a club to her.

I think he means take her to a club.

The other arrangement could cause you some problems. ;o)

richw76
09-13-2007, 01:27 PM
I think he means take her to a club.

The other arrangement could cause you some problems. ;o)

If you read his other posts you wouldn't question the spelling.

Sean Dugan
09-13-2007, 01:47 PM
"And Sean Dugan you are a genius!! Now the trick to number 3, so you don't become a date rapist ;-) Few drinks is cool, so drunk she can't walk not cool. Alcohol as social lubricant is time tested but like I said don't be that guy."

Not a genius. Just a lot of experience. But, some people think I am pretty shmart.

I never advocated getting her unconsciously drunk. Just drunk enough to throw caution to the wind. Wine is fine but liquor is quicker. A few tequila shots should do the trick. Just make sure most of your shots are water. ;o)

Besides, she has to be sober enough to legibly sign the consensual sex release form. ;o)

All kidding aside, as someone wise said above, you can't make someone like you. Just very casually ask her on a date. To the movies, something non-threatening. If she says yes, just be indifferent yet entertaining and please try not to slobber all over yourself since you obviously have no game or game plan. If she says no, no biggie, stay friends and keep sniffing around. Eventually you may nail her yet. These things are usually about endurance, being able to absorb punishment and momentum. It could take years. Just make a game out of it and don't take it seriously. Like ascending a staircase (or is it a head case?), one step at a time.

PS. Get a calculated game plan that gets you what you want. Otherwise, you're just some sap that gets to pay for everything. And don't expect to close the deal on one date. You're going to have to be patient. Management by Objective. ;o)

richw76
09-13-2007, 02:07 PM
or do what the other guy said be a doctor get chics. Just remember she will still cheat on you with the garbage man that looks like a calvin klein model, and belches the alphabet. Sucks but so is life. Women will have one night stands with dudes they would never date seriously. So stupid question, what are your intentions. Just getting some or a GF?

drakulie
09-13-2007, 02:08 PM
If you read his other posts you wouldn't question the spelling.

Hmmm, now you are stalking me??? And you say people have to worry about me. :roll:

richw76
09-13-2007, 02:12 PM
Hmmm, now you are stalking me??? And you say people have to worry about me. :roll:

stalking? ..... er ok. and I think I hear your mommy calling you for some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Enjoy Skippy.

Zets147
09-13-2007, 02:19 PM
Skippy is the best peanut butter ever. don't be using that name to put down other posters. except drak, he's aight.

Fee
09-13-2007, 02:34 PM
I swear, reading this thread makes me soooo happy that I'm married and don't have to put up with this type of behavior any more.

RichW, thanks for the compliment. :)

To the rest of you, if the women in your life are insane, it's because they've been driven to that point by the men in their lives, the poor female role models (neither Sex in the City or Laguna Beach are real), and the lack of honest guidance from adults who know better. I've learned a lot from some very bad experiences and a long period of low self esteem in my college years. Based on that, I would beg of the men on this forum one thing - BE HONEST with the women in your lives. The women may not be able to handle it at first, but stick with it. It truly is the best in the long run.

drakulie
09-13-2007, 02:47 PM
To the rest of you, if the women in your life are insane, it's because they've been driven to that point by the men in their lives,

LOL. YOu can not be Serious!!!!!



I would beg of the men on this forum one thing - BE HONEST with the women in your lives. The women may not be able to handle it at first, but stick with it. It truly is the best in the long run.

Question???? Best thing for whom???

richw76
09-13-2007, 02:51 PM
I swear, reading this thread makes me soooo happy that I'm married and don't have to put up with this type of behavior any more.

RichW, thanks for the compliment. :)

To the rest of you, if the women in your life are insane, it's because they've been driven to that point by the men in their lives, the poor female role models (neither Sex in the City or Laguna Beach are real), and the lack of honest guidance from adults who know better. I've learned a lot from some very bad experiences and a long period of low self esteem in my college years. Based on that, I would beg of the men on this forum one thing - BE HONEST with the women in your lives. The women may not be able to handle it at first, but stick with it. It truly is the best in the long run.

I couldn't agree more. Show me a "crazy" woman and 999999999 to 1 there is some dbag in her past. To the honesty part, depends on OP's intentions. I must admit that when I was 18-22 or so I would act very differently than now. When I was younger like most guys I had my buddies and wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I never had a relationship last over 3 weeks after first "personal encounter", I even stopped calling a really sweet girl once cause she asked me to take her to the grocery store, and I decided she was too much trouble(I still feel bad about that one), but I grew up.

So if you just want to get some listen to Duncan and most the other dudes in this thread they are close to the mark for most <23 year old women.

If you want a relationship, be sincere, and honest, and nice, and it'll work out if it's meant to be.

Fee
09-13-2007, 03:01 PM
Question???? Best thing for whom???

For everyone involved. And that includes being honest about just wanting a one night stand. Most women can handle that if you tell them up front (heck, some of them may just be looking for the exact same thing, especially the smart ones who know that certain men you 'date' and other men you marry.).

Rich, you are right. A lot of it has to do with the age of the people involved. People in their 20's should be dating and meeting people, learn as much as they can about themselves, their preferences, etc. But that doesn't give them license to be complete eejits about it, male or female.

UW_Husky88
09-13-2007, 03:28 PM
teach her to play tennis ;)

You know, she's expressed interest in trying out for the team even though she's never played. And, although I hate to sound like a snob, I think I'm decent at teaching beginners how to play. I mean, I have to help my team out with their technique issues all the time, and I think I might be able to help her. The thing is that I'm scared to tell her that lol. I don't know why, I mean, like I said, we're friends, so it shouldn't be weird, but I dunno.

Btw, if you want to know about the girl and me, here's something I can say:

About Me: I'm not what I, or realistically speaking, most girls would find super attractive. I mean, honestly, I'm just not. I'm pretty introverted, but get along with all sorts of people.

About Her: She's not the most attractive girl in the school. I mean, I think she's FAR from being ugly, but she's not like the stereotypical teenage drama queen that only cares about her looks either, or even exceedingly well above average. The thing is, she's also smarter than me, and fitter, which is why I'm not sure what she could see in me.

but yeah, thats what I have to say about her and me.

Zets147
09-13-2007, 03:30 PM
"hey, you wanna play some tennis this weekend? I got a new can of balls"

"sounds fab!~"

Do it.

UW_Husky88
09-13-2007, 03:37 PM
So stupid question, what are your intentions. Just getting some or a GF?

dude, I seriously hope that wasn't a serious question. I'm being as sincere as possible when I'm saying I want a relationship with her. This is going to sound really fruity, but thats really disrespectful to women I think, and as I mentioned, she has more in my eyes than good looks, so I'm definitely not in it for that. Hell, thats the farthest thing from my mind right now.

Mastermind
09-13-2007, 03:49 PM
Personally I just try a subtly straightforward approach. Catch her eye in the hall, in class, when she's standing right next to you, etc., and then give a smile. Joke around with her DON'T rag on her, make her laugh, make her comfortable. It's all about confidence though man, just be confident in yourself, however do NOT come across as an arrogant guy.

After you get the date, funny lines can make or break it at times. I remember my most recent date (three days ago), I tried a John Tucker line. Yes. I watched the movie John Tucker Must Die and used a line. It worked very nicely. We were in a restaurant and we had been talking and WHAM, we were hit with an ever-dreadful awkward silence. Recognizing it, I said, "You know what? All these people are staring at me..."
She says, "What?"
I replied, "They're all wishing they were here with a girl like you."

She laughed, blushed, and I broke the silence.

Bottom line is: Be confident and just do it. The worst that can happen is she says 'no' and you can move on.

richw76
09-13-2007, 03:52 PM
dude, I seriously hope that wasn't a serious question. I'm being as sincere as possible when I'm saying I want a relationship with her. This is going to sound really fruity, but thats really disrespectful to women I think, and as I mentioned, she has more in my eyes than good looks, so I'm definitely not in it for that. Hell, thats the farthest thing from my mind right now.

ok, so you know what to do. Either she likes you in that way or not. ;-) And it's not "fruity" to want to be in a stable, happy, monogomous(even if there's no woopty woop), relationship. I was incapable of such a healthy relationship when I was in my early 20's, and gravitated towards the crazy ones mostly. I really wish you the best. I guess from the original post it wasn't completely clear if she was a "friend" or just someone in class, or someone you know in passing, or whatever. cause the ?? helpful ?? men and women on this board may be able to give you more specific suggestions with more info.

richw76
09-13-2007, 03:57 PM
ok, so you know what to do. Either she likes you in that way or not. ;-) And it's not "fruity" to want to be in a stable, happy, monogomous(even if there's no woopty woop), relationship. I was incapable of such a healthy relationship when I was in my early 20's, and gravitated towards the crazy ones mostly. I really wish you the best. I guess from the original post it wasn't completely clear if she was a "friend" or just someone in class, or someone you know in passing, or whatever. cause the ?? helpful ?? men and women on this board may be able to give you more specific suggestions with more info.

Sorry husky I didn't see your other post. about her not being the lindsay lohan/prom queen. I'd say strike fast if you are already "friends", if you don't do something you will be condemned to friend land forever. And it's really great talking to the girl you like about how she made out with some Dbag over the weekend ;-)

richw76
09-13-2007, 03:59 PM
Personally I just try a subtly straightforward approach. Catch her eye in the hall, in class, when she's standing right next to you, etc., and then give a smile. Joke around with her DON'T rag on her, make her laugh, make her comfortable. It's all about confidence though man, just be confident in yourself, however do NOT come across as an arrogant guy.

After you get the date, funny lines can make or break it at times. I remember my most recent date (three days ago), I tried a John Tucker line. Yes. I watched the movie John Tucker Must Die and used a line. It worked very nicely. We were in a restaurant and we had been talking and WHAM, we were hit with an ever-dreadful awkward silence. Recognizing it, I said, "You know what? All these people are staring at me..."
She says, "What?"
I replied, "They're all wishing they were here with a girl like you."

She laughed, blushed, and I broke the silence.

Bottom line is: Be confident and just do it. The worst that can happen is she says 'no' and you can move on.

yeah she likes you dude, cause that line was terrible :-)

tricky
09-13-2007, 04:15 PM
UW_Husky88 --

If you're really curious about this stuff, you can google "PUA" for a whole underground culture based on answering "how do you get a girl to like you." The advice may horrify you; you may feel that these are the most evil kids you've ever read; but there's a lot of truth in it all.

One rule of thumb is that the more a guy likes somebody, the more difficult it will be for them to get the girl to like them. So, the corollary is that, if you've been interested in somebody for a long time, it's really best if you start flirting or meeting other people. And I mean, it could just be going to parties with your friends and chatting it up with strangers or acquaintances. Doesn't have to be serious or anything.

If you end up liking somebody else, well great. If you decide that she is still the girl for you, then you'll already be a in much better place, both in your social skills and emotional perspective to give it a shot. It's something you have to force yourself to do.

In terms of actual first month dating . . . actions don't speak louder than words. Words (and gestures and listening) are everything. Make eye contact, pay attention, listen, and react. Instead of thinking "what does she want from me?" or "how do I make a good impression?", ask "how do I make her feel comfortable?" and "what kind of interaction do I want with her?" If you feel at this point, you're not ready for this with her. Then don't sweat it -- try meeting other people and work on it.

richw76
09-13-2007, 04:23 PM
UW_Husky88 --

If you're really curious about this stuff, you can google "PUA" for a whole underground culture based on answering "how do you get a girl to like you." The advice may horrify you; you may feel that these are the most evil kids you've ever read; but there's a lot of truth in it all.

One rule of thumb is that the more a guy likes somebody, the more difficult it will be for them to get the girl to like them. So, the corollary is that, if you've been interested in somebody for a long time, it's really best if you start flirting or meeting other people. And I mean, it could just be going to parties with your friends and chatting it up with strangers or acquaintances. Doesn't have to be serious or anything.

If you end up liking somebody else, well great. If you decide that she is still the girl for you, then you'll already be a in much better place, both in your social skills and emotional perspective to give it a shot. It's something you have to force yourself to do.

In terms of actual first month dating . . . actions don't speak louder than words. Words (and gestures and listening) are everything. Make eye contact, pay attention, listen, and react. Instead of thinking "what does she want from me?" or "how do I make a good impression?", ask "how do I make her feel comfortable?" and "what kind of interaction do I want with her?" If you feel at this point, you're not ready for this with her. Then don't sweat it -- try meeting other people and work on it.

See Fee were not all knuckle dragging morons. But I peeked at the PUA and .......can't wait to get off work so I can go home and kiss my wife.

vkartikv
09-13-2007, 04:29 PM
Be yourself.

SFrazeur
09-13-2007, 04:32 PM
Be yourself.

The only correct answer for the question of "How do you get a girl to like you?"

-SF

Docalex007
09-13-2007, 04:34 PM
Believe that you are God's gift to women (I know I am) and approach her confidently.

"Hi.. what's your name?"
the rest is history.

Best advice yet...works every time. It's not overly confident but conveys wonders to the girl you're eyeing. Just do it and don't think about it! In fact, go up and "not care". Do not care about the outcome, or being rejected, females tend to notice this subtly.

Fee
09-13-2007, 04:40 PM
See Fee were not all knuckle dragging morons. But I peeked at the PUA and .......can't wait to get off work so I can go home and kiss my wife.

Oh I know that you aren't all knuckle dragging morons, you just play them on the internet ;)

And, yikes with those PUA forums (learn something new everyday). All I can say is, there have been times when I've been approached with an obvious line and had to bite the inside of my cheek not to laugh in some guy's face. There is such a thing as 'trying too hard'.

Don't be some guy in a movie, be yourself. Too hard to play a role for an extended length of time anyway.

richw76
09-13-2007, 04:53 PM
Oh I know that you aren't all knuckle dragging morons, you just play them on the internet ;)

And, yikes with those PUA forums (learn something new everyday). All I can say is, there have been times when I've been approached with an obvious line and had to bite the inside of my cheek not to laugh in some guy's face. There is such a thing as 'trying too hard'.

Don't be some guy in a movie, be yourself. Too hard to play a role for an extended length of time anyway.

If the girl likes you and thinks you are cute, Then the line is Cute, Funny, adorable, whatever. If she doesn't think you're cute, she'll remember it's a movie line and think you're a moron.

I think if you are <25 with most girls if she thinks you are cute unless you are a dbag she will at least give you a shoot and 2 dates. If she doesn't think you're cute unless you win the lottery or have rich parents you may as well pack it up and go home.... and let her tell you what it was like when she was making out with the dbag rich guy over the weekend ;-) Just kidding from what you said about this young lady she doesn't sound super shallow. and Heck who knows maybe she likes slightly puggy, shy, nice guys. I'm being serious.

Like my sister, she's very attractive and after being around my friends for years she won't date "pretty boys" or black guys with spanish/hispanic names. Of course my sister is one of the crazy ones, and nice guys are the only ones that'll put up with her crap. :-) so I guess it doesn't apply.

35ft6
09-13-2007, 05:09 PM
Be yourself.What if he's a creep?

tricky
09-13-2007, 05:09 PM
But I peeked at the PUA and .......can't wait to get off work so I can go home and kiss my wife.Yeah, it's part of a whole "Alpha male" movement on the net.

Men tend to think in letting actions speak for them and "showing others." So men often worrying about "being confident" (showing a confident image), "being yourself" (showing you for who you are.) Also, they think about demonstrating their wealth (drive a car), showing off their virility (have a nice body), or letting people know of their social status (trophies, big house, etc.) i.e. projecting an image of power to other people. Men judge each other by appearance, and so they expect the woman to do the same. They expect the woman to size them up, and naturally this creates a lot of anxiety if you don't have a lot of practical experience or a strong self-image.

IMO, "being confident" and "being yourself" are not meaningful, because your confidence level is a product of your social experience, and "yourself" reflects the level of anxiety you feel . If you felt no anxiety whatsoever when in front of a woman you were crazy about, you would be perfectly casual with that person. Whereas if you felt tremendous anxiety, you would probably be fumbling to impress the woman. Just as you try to impress your boss or the parents of your fiancee. And a woman will always see through that.

The best thing he can do is to really engage with her and to kinda work toward building the kind of friendship or relationship that he would like with her. But that is difficult to do if you don't know how to talk to her. And, so, don't. Talk to other people. Work on that, THEN come back to her if she is still the person that you want to be with.

35ft6
09-13-2007, 05:39 PM
You know, I don't understand why so many people believe this...it is utterly ridiculous IMO. With any of my relationships, I didn't even become attracted to the guy until I got to know him. I refuse to think that I'm just some kind of throw back. I should have been more careful with the phrasing. I wasn't suggesting that it was quite that black and white. I'm saying that a woman quickly judges, speaking as a guy here, if a guy is her type or not even if she doesn't love or even like him right away. Yes, feelings can grow, some perceptions will change, but I believe the girls and articles that have stated that women will size a man up pretty quickly, and even as she revises her opinion of him, that initial sizing up retains a substantial amount of influence.

Fee
09-13-2007, 05:46 PM
But that goes both ways. Men pretty much size up women instantaneously as well. They can decide whether or not to whistle from a construction site faster than you can pull away from a red light.

Hot Sauce
09-13-2007, 06:04 PM
What if he's a creep?

Then he should act like me, then no woman will be able to resist him!

35ft6
09-13-2007, 06:08 PM
But that goes both ways. Men pretty much size up women instantaneously as well. They can decide whether or not to whistle from a construction site faster than you can pull away from a red light. I think women go beyond just looks though. Yes, men can instantly tell if a woman meets his physical ideals, and women can, too, but if you give men some alcohol, they'll have sex with women they were repulsed by 9 beers earlier. Women aren't known for this as much not saying there aren't women out there like this. I think in addition to looks, in the first few moments, a woman will pick up subtle cues on what this man is like, if he's a creep, or if he has a sense of humor, etc. Men don't care if a woman is a spaz or dorky or creepy, so long as they're hot. At least as far as sex is concerned, but women get really turned off by dweebs and creeps, even if they look like a stud. Do you agree, Fee? Not setting you up for a debate, I'm sincerely interested.

Mastermind
09-13-2007, 06:17 PM
yeah she likes you dude, cause that line was terrible :-)

Of course the line was terrible, that's what made it so good. lol.

vkartikv
09-13-2007, 06:53 PM
The only correct answer for the question of "How do you get a girl to like you?"

-SF

Thanks. If you are looking for a fling, go on and put on a show but if you want substance, be yourself. If they don't like it, you can put on a show but it has to wear eventually, right?

vkartikv
09-13-2007, 06:54 PM
What if he's a creep?

Do creeps post on this forum?

tennispro11
09-13-2007, 06:55 PM
There is not enough specifics in the OP. You need to post a little about yourself, about the girl, the history, and what you want from her, etc., and then this thread would really come to life. "i'm a guy and i want a girl to like me" - too vague and generic (by our forum standards) for a good discussion, sorry.

Don't listen to anything ^^^^^^ this poster says. BEWARE!!!!

xtremerunnerars
09-13-2007, 06:58 PM
Do creeps post on this forum?

They sure do.


As for the OP, just let it happen. Do you really want someone to like you only when you put on some act or find out what it would take for them to like someone?

Sean Dugan
09-13-2007, 07:01 PM
I think women go beyond just looks though. Yes, men can instantly tell if a woman meets his physical ideals, and women can, too, but if you give men some alcohol, they'll have sex with women they were repulsed by 9 beers earlier. But women get really turned off by dweebs and creeps, even if they look like a stud. Do you agree, Fee? Not setting you up for a debate, I'm sincerely interested.

Yes, men can instantly tell if a woman meets his physical ideals, and women can, too, but if you give men some alcohol, they'll have sex with women they were repulsed by 9 beers earlier.

That is a lot of beers! At 10 to 2, a 2 is a 10. ;o)

But women get really turned off by dweebs and creeps, even if they look like a stud

Unless they're rich and/or famous. Think Hefner. Think OJ.

ShooterMcMarco
09-13-2007, 07:13 PM
And, yikes with those PUA forums (learn something new everyday). All I can say is, there have been times when I've been approached with an obvious line and had to bite the inside of my cheek not to laugh in some guy's face. There is such a thing as 'trying too hard'.


I wonder if women have secret societies too. Like anti-PUA or women PUA forums.

raiden031
09-13-2007, 07:15 PM
From my experience and observations of people around me as someone in my mid-20s, I would say that the most important quality that a man must possess to attract women is confidence. Looks, status, honesty, integrity, niceness, etc. are secondary and often ignored during the early stages of dating. However the one quality that often negates confidence is creepiness. I see alot of confident guys at bars get turned down because they have a creepy way to get a woman's attention. I also see alot of un-attractive guys bringing home women left and right because they are confident, even though they are often jerks and liars as well. Women will complain about being played by these types of guys, yet continue dating them because they are more interesting than more honest guys.

So the best advice I can give anyone on this board is to not try to win a girl with kindness or writing her love poems, but rather win her over by being funny and picking on her playfully. Show her you are not intimidated by her beauty. Tell her she's ugly!

ShooterMcMarco
09-13-2007, 07:17 PM
Show her you are not intimidated by her beauty. Tell her she's ugly!

lol, if you're gonna use that line, your delivery better be good otherwise it'll come across as an insult.

raiden031
09-13-2007, 07:21 PM
lol, if you're gonna use that line, your delivery better be good otherwise it'll come across as an insult.

Well its not a line, but really the point is not to smother her with compliments to appear like you're desperate. Instead you should make fun of her looks to get her interested. It should be done playfully.

Fee
09-13-2007, 07:25 PM
I think women go beyond just looks though. Yes, men can instantly tell if a woman meets his physical ideals, and women can, too, but if you give men some alcohol, they'll have sex with women they were repulsed by 9 beers earlier. Women aren't known for this as much not saying there aren't women out there like this. I think in addition to looks, in the first few moments, a woman will pick up subtle cues on what this man is like, if he's a creep, or if he has a sense of humor, etc. Men don't care if a woman is a spaz or dorky or creepy, so long as they're hot. At least as far as sex is concerned, but women get really turned off by dweebs and creeps, even if they look like a stud. Do you agree, Fee? Not setting you up for a debate, I'm sincerely interested.

No problem with a debate as long as it civilised. :)

Women are different, and the same woman can be different as the years progress. I have been tricked by a gorgeous face before - I met this Croatian guy once who just oozed sexy like no one I had ever met up to that time. Thankfully, that ended quickly due to distance, he was trouble (and with a name like Dragan, I should have seen it). I still have a weakness for one particular pretty face on this planet and I think he knows he can get away with a certain amount of BS where I'm concerned. I learned to steer clear of creeps, to look beyond the pretty face, but I've always had a thing for dorks/dweebs/nerds to some degree. My husband is not a head turning type of good looking, but I'm glad he made the decision to strike up a conversation with me despite out mildly awkward first meeting. We fit together in many ways.

Like I said, there are men you date and men you marry. If a woman is out in a nightclub or whatever, she is might be looking for the notch on her belt type. Within your circle of friends and their friends, she might be willing to look deeper for the type of person she can have a conversation with. It depends on her personal situation.

I still think both sexes have an instinctive response to people, of both genders. It could be a defense mechanism, a survival instinct, who knows. I would say that yes, creeps are an instant turnoff, but what about the attraction to 'bad boy types'? That doesn't seem to fit into that scenario. :)

AlexP
09-13-2007, 07:26 PM
If you can play Scott Joplin you're set. :)

ShooterMcMarco
09-13-2007, 07:31 PM
I would say that yes, creeps are an instant turnoff, but what about the attraction to 'bad boy types'? That doesn't seem to fit into that scenario. :)

I'd say chicks dig em' because they aren't predictably boring and they present a challenge. A stereotype for nice guys is that they are not interesting and are rather predictable. I know tons of chicks that have stayed with the badboy types even if they're ******bags because they want to be able to "fix them." I think its completely ridiculous but even if they continue to get treated badly they'll find reasons to stay. Badboys are challenging, and I think that women can get uninterested if a man is too easy of a catch; unless he is unusually attractive.

Fee
09-13-2007, 07:43 PM
Yep, Shooter, I agree. Women who want to 'fix' a man are usually very insecure and focusing their attention on some other project instead of taking care of their own business closer to home. I think the same might be true of men who want to fix an equally 'bad' woman.

Men and women are similar in so many ways, in the long run.

Kobble
09-13-2007, 07:46 PM
Well its not a line, but really the point is not to smother her with compliments to appear like you're desperate. Instead you should make fun of her looks to get her interested. It should be done playfully. Reminds me of when my friend in high school chased some awesome girl right into my web with his excessive compliments. We were alone, getting to know each other, and just as she asked me, "Do you see him anywhere?" He shows shows up behind us, and she takes off. Funny ****.

Lakoste
09-13-2007, 07:53 PM
If I were you, I wouldn't ask her out. You sound like you're in high school, so having a good friend is rare (sounds corny, I know), don't jeopardize that with some one month romance that'll turn south quick. If you ask her and she turns you down, there will always be that awkwardness between you two, that is never good.

stoffer
09-13-2007, 08:13 PM
I had a friend who once told me that the best way to get a girl to like you is to break into her bedroom and give her an ultimatum. "You can have me or you can have death!" He's in jail now.

ShooterMcMarco
09-13-2007, 08:16 PM
I had a friend who once told me that the best way to get a girl to like you is to break into her bedroom and give her an ultimatum. "You can have me or you can have death!" He's in jail now.

lmfao

so much for "best way"

Texas21
09-13-2007, 08:19 PM
Just drop flirty hints. And just be super confident, and say every joke or whatever, not like you're a comedian, not like you're so focused on the joke, but say it just expecting for her to laugh. Or if it's a flirty joke, just say it as if at the end, she's going to immediately want to sleep with you. Works like a charm.

Dilettante
09-13-2007, 08:40 PM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol?

Create some tension. Don't be too accommodating to her, but never be rude. Create some mistery, don't let her think that because you are friends she knows everything about you. Don't be a pet.

Let her know that you look at her with man's eyes, not just as an immaculate and innocent friend, but be careful and subtle. Very subtle. Don't make any scenes. Don't be melodramatic. Don't chase her, try to make her wonder about you.

Change slowly before her eyes. Don't you ever pretend to be someone you are not, because she'll just realize. Just try to find inside you remnants of the man she could be attracted to, and wear them with discretion, make them visible but don't throw them to her face. You can't change in a day. Let her slowly discover a "new you".

And always be funny, not a clown or a joker, just play games and make her enjoy the time she spend with you. Make her smile. Don't look at her with lamb's eyes, don't play a harp singing poems if you don't know how to write poems. Be slightly ironic. Even sometimes, laugh at her, but never about something important. Make a game of all that.

Walk a little away from her, let her look at you from distance and get a new perspective about you. Don't talk too much. If you have something interesting about yourself to tell her, keep it for yourself until the right moment. Don't look in a hurry to let her know, just let her know when the situation takes to that. If she discovers that you have kept some good things about yourself, she may think that you can be keeping some more other good things. Maybe she'll want to find out. Curiosity killed the cat: wondering about a guy that she thought that had no secrets, is the start for rising interest about that guy.

And, the most important thing of all:

If any of these things happen to work, come back here and tell me... I'm starting to be desperate!!

abenguyen
09-13-2007, 09:05 PM
If I were you, I wouldn't ask her out. You sound like you're in high school, so having a good friend is rare (sounds corny, I know), don't jeopardize that with some one month romance that'll turn south quick. If you ask her and she turns you down, there will always be that awkwardness between you two, that is never good.

lol kinda reminds me back a few years ago.

Fee
09-13-2007, 09:33 PM
Texas21, this link is for you: http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=84652

You can change your signature now (and thanks for not starting yet another thread to ask that question). :)

Shashwat
09-14-2007, 06:46 AM
You go up to her and say

"Are you from Tennesse? You're the only Ten-i-see."

phoony
09-14-2007, 06:56 AM
1st of all hows her impression on you. If more than 50% carry on else just forget it. Don't waste your times.

Tactics:
1. Show you're a loving and caring person.
2. Must be a good listener althu you don't
3. Thick face, never give up
4. Can't think of any :confused: (will let you know)

spot
09-14-2007, 07:03 AM
Make yourself into someone that women should want to date. Get in shape to start out with. You are probably largely attracted to her because of her body- get your body into the same league. Get some varied interests. If you are just a guy who wants to watch sports all the time then she doesn't have much reason to be attracted to you. Become a fun date by going on dates with other women. Learn how to show a woman a good time. If women have fun with you on dates then word will get back to her- particularly if they start having a particularly good time (ahem) after the date with you.

Dedans Penthouse
09-14-2007, 11:26 AM
You make love to her. Then you make love to her.

Mastermind
09-14-2007, 11:52 AM
To the OP: you might want to avoid my advice from before (you might have wanted to anyways :) ) I just got my heart handed to me so I'm in no position to talk anymore.

Zets147
09-14-2007, 03:58 PM
go after the next one, mastermind hehe

Mastermind
09-14-2007, 04:08 PM
Ha, not that easy for me considering I've really cared about this girl for over two years. I've just come to realize that I screwed up what could have been the greatest thing in my life with a girl I like more than anyone before. Could I go after the next one? Yeah I could, actually I could go after two and not worry about anything and one other would be a challenge, but I don't feel for them the same way. Difficult situation, horrible realization making for a very depressed me.

richw76
09-14-2007, 04:17 PM
Ha, not that easy for me considering I've really cared about this girl for over two years. I've just come to realize that I screwed up what could have been the greatest thing in my life with a girl I like more than anyone before. Could I go after the next one? Yeah I could, actually I could go after two and not worry about anything and one other would be a challenge, but I don't feel for them the same way. Difficult situation, horrible realization making for a very depressed me.

I'd say dont' date anyone for a few months and chill, hangout with your buddies and focus on tennis/studies/work/whatever. If you were a bone head try to learn from it and don't make the same mistake next time. You may get another chance someday, if not at least you learned something, anddon't just repeating the same pattern like most.

Dan007
09-14-2007, 04:19 PM
Go up to her and say
"If you were on a menu at McDonalds, you would be McGorgeous!"

Fee
09-14-2007, 04:43 PM
Ha, not that easy for me considering I've really cared about this girl for over two years. I've just come to realize that I screwed up what could have been the greatest thing in my life with a girl I like more than anyone before. Could I go after the next one? Yeah I could, actually I could go after two and not worry about anything and one other would be a challenge, but I don't feel for them the same way. Difficult situation, horrible realization making for a very depressed me.

Well, considering that I have no real clue exactly what happened, I'm going to give you some generic advice that I hope is helpful.

First off, I feel for you. To post that on this forum so honestly must mean that you are quite bowled over by this experience. I hope you are doing okay.

Second, forgiveness is a powerful thing. If the second sentence of the paragraph is genuinely true, then you have to be a man, face up to what you did, accept complete responsibility for it, apologize, and ask for forgiveness. In that order. She might forgive you immediately, she might forgive you eventually, or she might tell you that you are dead to her. Whatever the outcome, you will at least do the right thing by taking this step. If she won't see you or speak to you right now, then hand write a note to her, take it to a florist and send it to her attached to a decent arrangement or gift basket (not roses, I think they would be inappropriate in this situation). After that, there is nothing that you can do, but your conscience might be a little more clear.

Forehand Forever
09-14-2007, 08:01 PM
"Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day."

slice bh compliment
09-15-2007, 01:01 AM
http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/images/misc/navbits_finallink.gif (http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=156782&page=6) How do you get a girl to like you?

How do you GET a girl to like you?

Right there, man. Right there is where the problem is. GET? Come on, man.

Some nice advice in the pages above. As usual, props to fee and big laughs for Dedan's Penthouse.

On the other hand, there was some seriously fake-***, borderline psychopathic advice given, too. This other thread is really telling, too. http://tt.tennis-warehouse.com/showthread.php?t=155997

I'm not going to mention any names, but... some of you guys are going to love what you end up learning in your late 20s and early 30s...about actual love. The love DP was talking about, baby. Then you'll laugh about what a moron/cheeseball you were when you were younger.

Naturally, this is all very easy for me to say. I'm still learning, but I'm happily married, blessed with a lot of love in my life.... and, well, yeah, still learning for sure.

koopa_troopa
09-15-2007, 01:15 AM
Make sure not to get stuck in the friend zone.

UW_Husky88
01-05-2008, 05:55 PM
alright, sorry to bump a really old thread, but I keep hearing that if you tell a girl straight up that you like her, bad things will happen. Is that true?

Also, I think it's that person's birthday fairly soon, so what I was thinking about doing is getting her a CD with a song that we laugh at (and I think she likes that artist as well), and then leaving a note. The problem is, for that note, I want it to kind of tell her that I like her, without it being too overt either. So, in simpler terms, I want her after reading it to be fairly (like 80-90%) sure that I like her, but she needs to approach me about it to get that extra 10-20% to be sure that I like her, you know what I mean. I would say it all at once, but I suck at making the first move, so I want her to have to ask me about it (the extra 10%), and then I can go from there. So any ideas about what I can write to get it in this format?

RestockingTues
01-05-2008, 05:57 PM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?

It's okay. If you read the "What's wrong with guys" thread I totally ranted all of my aggression out there. :oops: Sorry 35ft6, SoBad, Alpine and everyone else who posted there haha

RestockingTues
01-05-2008, 06:04 PM
Create some tension. Don't be too accommodating to her, but never be rude. Create some mistery, don't let her think that because you are friends she knows everything about you. Don't be a pet.

Let her know that you look at her with man's eyes, not just as an immaculate and innocent friend, but be careful and subtle. Very subtle. Don't make any scenes. Don't be melodramatic. Don't chase her, try to make her wonder about you.

Change slowly before her eyes. Don't you ever pretend to be someone you are not, because she'll just realize. Just try to find inside you remnants of the man she could be attracted to, and wear them with discretion, make them visible but don't throw them to her face. You can't change in a day. Let her slowly discover a "new you".

And always be funny, not a clown or a joker, just play games and make her enjoy the time she spend with you. Make her smile. Don't look at her with lamb's eyes, don't play a harp singing poems if you don't know how to write poems. Be slightly ironic. Even sometimes, laugh at her, but never about something important. Make a game of all that.

Walk a little away from her, let her look at you from distance and get a new perspective about you. Don't talk too much. If you have something interesting about yourself to tell her, keep it for yourself until the right moment. Don't look in a hurry to let her know, just let her know when the situation takes to that. If she discovers that you have kept some good things about yourself, she may think that you can be keeping some more other good things. Maybe she'll want to find out. Curiosity killed the cat: wondering about a guy that she thought that had no secrets, is the start for rising interest about that guy.

And, the most important thing of all:

If any of these things happen to work, come back here and tell me... I'm starting to be desperate!!

Make sure you don't spend too much time with her, give her plenty of space. That's why I failed...

Good advice Dilettante, I wish I read this 2 months ago...

RestockingTues
01-05-2008, 06:04 PM
Sing "Hey There Delilah" to her but replace "Delilah" with her name. Works like a charm.

Song's too easy to play. I failed with that LOL

RestockingTues
01-05-2008, 06:06 PM
tell her a bunch of sweet flowery lies to make yourself sound like the perfect guy, tell her all she ever wanted to hear you know, make yourself sound like the next savior of the world, feeder of the hungry children, ambassador of moral an civility. then when you start noticing her eyes shiny when you talk to her, ask her out to dinner, pretend to know about cuisine, that you cook really well, btw, you learned it with your italian grandman when you were a kid in sicily (theres a goo lie to start with). then after dinner, take her home and show her your wine collection (buy whatever, girls dont know about this **** anyways) and tell her about terroirs, and how soil and weather affect the grapes, tell her that that is like people, an she woul be like a fine french wine. omg this has never failed for me. so i hope you can have succes with my secret formula for getting girls to like you no matter what.

disclaimer: i am not responsible for anything.

I'd kill myself before I do this. Not that it's a crappy idea, but i'd have to work so hard to know all of that that I'd die

RestockingTues
01-05-2008, 06:07 PM
You make a deal with the most popular girl in school. She teaches you how to be popular and in return, you give her money to fix her parent's car, which she wrecked while they're on vacation. She will teach you how to dance, dress, and behave. Soon, the girl you had your eye on is in love with you but, aghast!, so is your style mentor. But you guys will all learn an important lesson. Good luck.

I wish I read that post 2 months ago. Lol

ShooterMcMarco
01-05-2008, 06:14 PM
alright, sorry to bump a really old thread, but I keep hearing that if you tell a girl straight up that you like her, bad things will happen. Is that true?


Unless you know she likes you too, I think if you tell her you like her she'll get awkward around you. Your best bet is to not have any expectations out of this so you don't put any pressure on yourself. When you have your mind on only one girl you start acting out of neediness. Girls sense that and its a major red flag with them.

Forehand Forever
01-05-2008, 06:16 PM
Husky hows it going with her anyway?

Nellie
01-05-2008, 06:37 PM
No girl is out of your league. Have you ever noticed that the best looking women do not date/marry good looking guys?

Look at surveys where women choose who's attractive - Vince Vaughn (a troll), Matt Damon (the nice guy), etc.

here's some advice for you - read stuff and be funny and interesting, be passionate about things, be yourself. Don't buy stuff for a girl who doesn't like you.

CAM178
01-05-2008, 06:38 PM
I've almost always found out first if she likes me. It's easier that way. Only a couple of times have I gone after it, and it's worked out well. Depends on what kind of game you have, I think.

35ft6
01-05-2008, 06:42 PM
If you can make them laugh hysterically, that's the best possible start. The only better start if she falls in love with you at first sight. Also, show her nude pictures of yourself at every opportunity. JK.

Teh_pwnerer
01-05-2008, 07:09 PM
Elevate your league.

Well, that's more of a long term approach.

I learned a lot about this when I went from being a 4th year medical student to a physician intern. I was like somebody threw a light switch on. Everything was suddenly so much easier. I was kinda' sad, in a way. I thought a sensative personality and being a really nice person accounted for more, but it turned out I just didn't have what they were looking for...until I had what they were looking for.

The reality is if you don't have what she wants, you can do anything and everything, and it won't matter. You're interested in her because she has what you want (and we know what that is, and that's perfectly normal); but do you have what she wants? They want you to have status, power and money. Good looks, personality, kindness, great insights, play guitar, play tennis...that's all good too. But you gotta' have something to bring to the party, if you know what I mean.

So, if she's out of your league and unattainable...learn something from it. Up your league! There will be many more opportunities. Be prepared next time.

im pretty sure ur talkng about my friend Wang arent you?:twisted:

RoddickAce
01-05-2008, 07:41 PM
UW_Husky88, Good luck man.

richw76
01-05-2008, 08:12 PM
If you can make them laugh hysterically, that's the best possible start. The only better start if she falls in love with you at first sight. Also, show her nude pictures of yourself at every opportunity. JK.

The last suggestion always worked for me. ;-)

TokyopunK
01-05-2008, 09:20 PM
alright, sorry to bump a really old thread, but I keep hearing that if you tell a girl straight up that you like her, bad things will happen. Is that true?

Also, I think it's that person's birthday fairly soon, so what I was thinking about doing is getting her a CD with a song that we laugh at (and I think she likes that artist as well), and then leaving a note. The problem is, for that note, I want it to kind of tell her that I like her, without it being too overt either. So, in simpler terms, I want her after reading it to be fairly (like 80-90%) sure that I like her, but she needs to approach me about it to get that extra 10-20% to be sure that I like her, you know what I mean. I would say it all at once, but I suck at making the first move, so I want her to have to ask me about it (the extra 10%), and then I can go from there. So any ideas about what I can write to get it in this format?

How about.......

"I hope you like this CD (insertname)! Man, I am still laughing at (funnysongsname), haha, it's really crazy...but not as crazy as I am for you!"

It's funny, witty, and she will be like "Haha you're crazy for me?" Then you can be like "Heck yea baby" then you grab her and make love.

DashaandSafin
01-05-2008, 09:29 PM
Show her your packagehttp://i3.tinypic.com/6l3g189.png

LanEvo
01-05-2008, 09:47 PM
say your a doctor, any girl would want to date a doctor

UW_Husky88
01-05-2008, 11:13 PM
Husky hows it going with her anyway?

It is where it was when I first posted this. The only progress I guess I can say that has been made is that I was talking about how I wish I never took the IB diploma (it's a program for nerds like me who have to take a bunch of hard classes and is marketed towards being great for college, but really isn't...just an FYI haha), and she said out of nowhere, "well, if you never did it, then we wouldn't be such good friends". That kind of wowed me haha. But I don't read too much into because she seems really flirty with this one guy (like poking him and laughing with him). She really confuses me though because some days she (seemingly) pays more attention to me than most everyone else (except her 2 really good friends in a couple of classes), but then the other days, she seems to ignore me completely unless I'm the only other guy around. Any idea what that could mean?

UW_Husky88
01-05-2008, 11:15 PM
How about.......

"I hope you like this CD (insertname)! Man, I am still laughing at (funnysongsname), haha, it's really crazy...but not as crazy as I am for you!"

It's funny, witty, and she will be like "Haha you're crazy for me?" Then you can be like "Heck yea baby" then you grab her and make love.

haha, thanks for making me laugh, but that's way too overt and very creepy IMO. Anyone have some ideas though? Ideas for that note is what I really need, because this could be my one shot I have, especially since we're both seniors and will graduate soon.

superman1
01-05-2008, 11:20 PM
She really confuses me though because some days she (seemingly) pays more attention to me than most everyone else (except her 2 really good friends in a couple of classes), but then the other days, she seems to ignore me completely unless I'm the only other guy around. Any idea what that could mean?

You're probably just over thinking it. Or maybe you're just paying too much attention to her and need to just be a man and worry about yourself and how you're doing in the class. From experience I know that paying too much attention to a girl can drive you crazy and hinder your chances with her, because you end up building her up to being something amazing and untouchable, when she's really just another broad.

UW_Husky88
01-05-2008, 11:20 PM
oh and one last thing:

I don't know why I didn't say it earlier, but that CD is whatever the hell Britney Spears' new CD is and the song is Gimme More (I think that can clarify why we laugh at it lol)

Rickson
01-06-2008, 01:15 AM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?

You can't be cheap. Treat her out and don't hold back. Do you think Hugh Hefner and Donald Trump get the ladies by their looks? Those guys are old and decrepid. The ladies want security so show them some love and you'll get some love.

Teh_pwnerer
01-06-2008, 02:03 AM
Dude confidence is all you need, i used to have the same problem, i just got back from a party, i have this really good friend, and there were these rounds
of romantic songs and everyone asks girls out, so i was going for her but hesitated and this guy asked her first, soo after the next round started i said, (srry for this) "**** IT" i just went and asked her if she wanted to dance, we chatted and stuff and after the round was over, the party was over aswell it was the las tone (so literally my last chance) so everyone went for dinner but she just wanted to sit down and talk, so we did we were chatting for almost an hour before she had to go, and seriously this looks like the start of something new..

so this may sound a little too geeky but, as the great Wolf from Star Fox said.

Dont hesitate, when the time comes, just act.

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 04:09 AM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?

Treat her like a queen and act like her king. Treat her with respect and as an equal. Show her your humour as often as possible and always be honest. Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. I am a firm believer that if something is meant to be it will be. You can't force this or "make" her like you but if she is already a friend then there must be something she enjoys about you already. I have yet to read through this thread and shake my head at some of the absolutely asinine suggestions that I have no doubt have already been made but I will say that you must let her know you are interested. If she has other options and isn't sure how you feel you can't expect her to come chasing after you. Make the first move Husky - I can't speak for all women but I will say that the vast majority of us are attracted to a confident man who goes after what he wants in life.

Topaz
01-06-2008, 08:06 AM
Ok, I'm going to try my hand out here...

It is where it was when I first posted this. The only progress I guess I can say that has been made is that I was talking about how I wish I never took the IB diploma (it's a program for nerds like me who have to take a bunch of hard classes and is marketed towards being great for college, but really isn't...just an FYI haha), and she said out of nowhere, "well, if you never did it, then we wouldn't be such good friends". That kind of wowed me haha. But I don't read too much into because she seems really flirty with this one guy (like poking him and laughing with him). She really confuses me though because some days she (seemingly) pays more attention to me than most everyone else (except her 2 really good friends in a couple of classes), but then the other days, she seems to ignore me completely unless I'm the only other guy around. Any idea what that could mean?

Well, it sounds to me like she considers you a friend. Some consider this the curse of doom (and call it stuck in the 'friend zone'). At this young age (you are in HS, correct? Thus the reference to the IB program?) I would say that she does like you, but not in *that* way. Can that change? I think so, but I know others would argue saying that some women put a guy in the 'friend zone' and he will never get out. Indeed, I know some women do this. And, we aren't really talking about a woman, are we?

My advice (and I'm sure others will agree/disagree/tell me I'm nuts) is this: Stay her friend. However, don't put all your eggs in this basket. You can take the option of making it clear that you like her (and I mean *clear*, as in saying 'I like you, do you want to go out?') and if she doesn't give you the answer you're looking for, move on. And I mean...move on! Remain her friend, but start looking elsewhere. You may find someone even better, or she may start to miss your attention, and start to 'see' you in a different way.

Treat her like a queen and act like her king. Treat her with respect and as an equal. Show her your humour as often as possible and always be honest. Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. I am a firm believer that if something is meant to be it will be. You can't force this or "make" her like you but if she is already a friend then there must be something she enjoys about you already. I have yet to read through this thread and shake my head at some of the absolutely asinine suggestions that I have no doubt have already been made but I will say that you must let her know you are interested. If she has other options and isn't sure how you feel you can't expect her to come chasing after you. Make the first move Husky - I can't speak for all women but I will say that the vast majority of us are attracted to a confident man who goes after what he wants in life.

Excellent advice. I would just add...be there for her, be her friend, but be other places, too. Again, make it clear that you are interested...no wishy washy!

RoddickAce
01-06-2008, 08:30 AM
haha, thanks for making me laugh, but that's way too overt and very creepy IMO. Anyone have some ideas though? Ideas for that note is what I really need, because this could be my one shot I have, especially since we're both seniors and will graduate soon.

For your note, I don't know but maybe you can write something like: Thanks for being around, you were a great friend/companion(cause friend isnt the goal here)...I'm really gonna miss you when we graduate....

And then you tell her respond to you if she likes you.

Btw, keep your cool at all times, not ignorant cool, but calm, federer-like:) cool.

Tennis-Chris
01-06-2008, 08:31 AM
lol, I feel like a total loser posting on an online forum asking for dating advice, but how do you get a girl that you're friends with to like you lol? The problem isn't making her know I exist, but I think I might be subconciously doing stupid things (well not really stupid things, but just trying too hard without realizing it) to get her attention, but I really want her to like me. The problem is she's way out of my league, so how would you guys go about doing this?

First off Husky, posting online is a lot more anonymous than the old way of having to ask someone face to face this type of advice. I say use the tools at hand.

Second, if she is your friend then she already likes you. Just be careful that you don't fall too deep into the "Friends" category.

Third, she is not out of your league. Get this thought out of your head.

Fourth and most important - Listen to Fee, CanadienChic and the other female posters. Don't follow them blindly, but do listen. Information from the camp of the opposing sex never hurts.

Go get her Tiger, errrrr, Husky!

El Diablo
01-06-2008, 09:08 AM
Those two "lol" in your opening post tell it all. You're a little too silly for all of this.

Mark Vessels
01-06-2008, 09:48 AM
You make a deal with the most popular girl in school. She teaches you how to be popular and in return, you give her money to fix her parent's car, which she wrecked while they're on vacation. She will teach you how to dance, dress, and behave. Soon, the girl you had your eye on is in love with you but, aghast!, so is your style mentor. But you guys will all learn an important lesson. Good luck.


Love Don't Cost A Thing


(sucks)

UW_Husky88
01-06-2008, 10:21 AM
Those two "lol" in your opening post tell it all. You're a little too silly for all of this.

lol yeah I know lol (that was done in sarcasm btw haha).

But, I'm a bit confused now. So you guys want me to be her friend, but not be too close as to be her best friend? How does that work? I thought that by becoming really good friends, that's how you get close to someone.

UW_Husky88
01-06-2008, 10:43 AM
btw, do girls like self-deprecating humor? I like to make fun of myself (and sometimes other guys, but never girls except her) all the time, so do girls like that, or is it usually a huge turnoff? The reason I do it is because I figure I can be as mean as I want and no one gets hurt, whereas if I do it to someone else, then they might get hurt.

If it's a turnoff, then there goes my one redeeming characteristic haha.

Btw, when I say get a girl to like me, I don't mean trying some vodoo magic **** or manipulating her to make me get laid. I know in retrospect that that was the worst way to title the thread, but what I mean to say is how can I get her to notice me more. She's my friend (and apparently good friend in her words) so it's not like I'm totally invisible, but I just mean how do I get her to realize that I care about her in more ways than a friend would? People keep thinking I'm a typical male jerk because of the title of the thread, and I apologize for that, but I promise that I am not like that. There is more to a person that looks. If I just wanted sex, all I would have to do is go to a party and hit on some dumb, drunk girl, but I don't believe in that. So yeah.

Topaz
01-06-2008, 11:16 AM
lol yeah I know lol (that was done in sarcasm btw haha).

But, I'm a bit confused now. So you guys want me to be her friend, but not be too close as to be her best friend? How does that work? I thought that by becoming really good friends, that's how you get close to someone.

btw, do girls like self-deprecating humor? I like to make fun of myself (and sometimes other guys, but never girls except her) all the time, so do girls like that, or is it usually a huge turnoff? The reason I do it is because I figure I can be as mean as I want and no one gets hurt, whereas if I do it to someone else, then they might get hurt.

If it's a turnoff, then there goes my one redeeming characteristic haha.

Ok, since I mentioned some of this, let me clarify.

First, you are never going to get a good answer when you ask a question that starts 'Do girls......'. Girls are people. People are not the same. What works for one girl will not work for another. People who say 'all girls do this/that/whatever' are glossing over that very important fact.

Personally (meaning, this is how I am), I prefer to get to know people (including guys) as friends first. It provides a foundation for the rest of the relationship. In fact, all of my past relationships (save one) were started that way. However, that is how *I* work!

When I suggest not getting too close, it is to keep yourself from getting hurt in case she is not interested in anything more than friends. Friendships and relationships....they are all different, one is not like another.

It sounds like you guys are already friends, right? Now, *why* are you her friend? If you are only being her friend because you think it is a path to something more...well, then, you aren't *really* a friend are you? If you like her as more, then ASK HER OUT ALREADY. Be clear, be concise. Keep up with this wishy washy stuff, and you'll never get anywhere.

And, you need to ask yourself...are you content with just remaining here friend (a *real* friend) if she is not interested in more?

LuckyR
01-06-2008, 11:35 AM
In my experience (assuming you know her and she knows you) she has already decided that she is 95% sure she would like "get to know you better" or she is 95% sure she doesn't. It doesn't really matter whether you use this line or that line. You've either got a 5% chance of screwing it up or a 95% chance.

If you strike out, you would do better to cast your line in many more ponds than try to improve you skill in fewer.

The key is finding the person who is already interested, not trying to change the mind of someone who isn't.

UW_Husky88
01-06-2008, 05:06 PM
The key is finding the person who is already interested, not trying to change the mind of someone who isn't.

OK, in that case, how do you find out whether a girl likes you or not lol. And I'm still open to suggestions on that note!

Morrissey
01-06-2008, 06:36 PM
Well for one thing it helps to be attractive. That's the first thing a woman sees in you. If you fit her description of what she's looking for visually she will open up and give you a chance to take her out. If you're not attarctive you probably should try to make up for it in other ways, be charming, smile, be comfortable in your own skin and very important to dress good. Girls like guys who dress nice and sharp. Also, show some confidence, that you got something going for yourself but don't be cocky. A girl won't like a guy who's full of or in love with himself. Quiet confidence is key, it shows. Try to be funny, make her laugh. All of those things will work. If you can use just a couple of those things you're fine. Oh, I forgot. If you're a short dude you're screwed. None of those things may apply unless you got money or look like Tom Cruise.

Morrissey
01-06-2008, 06:41 PM
In my experience (assuming you know her and she knows you) she has already decided that she is 95% sure she would like "get to know you better" or she is 95% sure she doesn't. It doesn't really matter whether you use this line or that line. You've either got a 5% chance of screwing it up or a 95% chance.

If you strike out, you would do better to cast your line in many more ponds than try to improve you skill in fewer.

The key is finding the person who is already interested, not trying to change the mind of someone who isn't.

Yeah, well said. If a girl hasn't made her mind on you in the first 10 minutes you're going to have a hell of a time changing that. Usually guys know within first glance if they want a certain girl. People think girls aren't as caught up on such shallow things but alot of them are. There are so many girls out there I wouldn't get too carried away with this one in particular.

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 07:19 PM
First, you are never going to get a good answer when you ask a question that starts 'Do girls......'. Girls are people. People are not the same. What works for one girl will not work for another. People who say 'all girls do this/that/whatever' are glossing over that very important fact.


Excellent point T! Now I'm confused Husky. Are you a 27 year old man in high school? :confused:

raiden031
01-06-2008, 07:30 PM
OK, in that case, how do you find out whether a girl likes you or not lol. And I'm still open to suggestions on that note!

If it isn't obvious that she likes you, then there's a 95% chance she doesn't. So the least amount of time you spend dwelling on this, the happier you will be. Trust me from experience. I was a tool up until I found my wife and looked back at what a ****** I was when it came to women while growing up. If you really want to find out, then ask her out and get it over with quick, rather than spend months or years wondering and being miserable.

Fedace
01-06-2008, 07:45 PM
How long does it generally take you guys to show you her room ?

Rickson
01-06-2008, 07:48 PM
btw, do girls like self-deprecating humor? I like to make fun of myself (and sometimes other guys, but never girls except her) all the time, so do girls like that, or is it usually a huge turnoff?
Hell no! Don't ever do that. Girls take those kind of jokes like you lack self esteem. As others have stated, confidence means a lot so don't go out there and put yourself down in front of girls. Another thing is to never let them know how you feel during the courting process. There is no bigger turnoff than telling a girl how much you like her. That kind of nonsense seems to work in cheesy movies and soap operas, but in real life, that scares people away. Be confident, show her a good time, and never confess your love for her. A perfect recipe for success.

ShooterMcMarco
01-06-2008, 08:00 PM
Ditto to what Rickson said. Self deprecating humor can be funny if you don't do it all the time. They should be laughing with you not at you.

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 08:06 PM
Hell no! Don't ever do that. Girls take those kind of jokes like you lack self esteem. As others have stated, confidence means a lot so don't go out there and put yourself down in front of girls. Another thing is to never let them know how you feel during the courting process. There is no bigger turnoff than telling a girl how much you like her. That kind of nonsense seems to work in cheesy movies and soap operas, but in real life, that scares people away. Be confident, show her a good time, and never confess your love for her. A perfect recipe for success.

Dear God do not listen to this advice. Is there any wonder why women watch those sappy movies? Perhaps they are called "chick flicks" for a reason. I enjoy self deprecating humour and do not take it as a lack of self esteem - there is a difference to insulting yourself and laughing at yourself.

The biggest turnoff is to be interested in a guy only to have him put on an act in an effort to pique your interest. If I like someone and he "pretends" to not be into me I am turned off. I won't chase around after someone and am not into games which this is exactly. If you care for someone then tell them - be forward and honest before it is too late and she is snared up by someone with the balls to me a man and step up to the plate.

Never confess your love? Perhaps little girls with a daddy complex would feel the need to "earn" love but any mature woman would walk away from that emotional disaster case faster than the guy can think up his next move. Please Rickson, I thought you had a little more experience in the adult dating world - or are you merely intentionally setting this guy up to fall?

Vermillion
01-06-2008, 08:08 PM
Dear God do not listen to this advice. Is there any wonder why women watch those sappy movies? Perhaps they are called "chick flicks" for a reason. I enjoy self deprecating humour and do not take it as a lack of self esteem - there is a difference to insulting yourself and laughing at yourself.

The biggest turnoff is to be interested in a guy only to have him put on an act in an effort to pique your interest. If I like someone and he "pretends" to not be into me I am turned off. I won't chase around after someone and am not into games which this is exactly. If you care for someone then tell them - be forward and honest before it is too late and she is snared up by someone with the balls to me a man and step up to the plate.

Never confess your love? Perhaps little girls with a daddy complex would feel the need to "earn" love but any mature woman would walk away from that emotional disaster case faster than the guy can think up his next move. Please Rickson, I thought you had a little more experience in the adult dating world - or are you merely intentionally setting this guy up to fall?

try it both ways and see the results for yourself. Like Topaz said, not everyone is the same. Good luck Husk.

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 08:15 PM
try it both ways and see the results for yourself. Like Topaz said, not everyone is the same. Good luck Husk.

Try it both ways? So...threat the girl like you could care less and when she moves along scamper after her being chivalrous and apologizing for not treating her as you feel for her? Ha! By then it is too late but hey, it's better to listen to a bunch of single guys on a forum offering their two bits than the females who are genuinely offering some advice. Either way, this isn't my problem so carry on and do whatever you think will land the girl. The question is are you wanting her for a night or a little bit longer because then the approach indeed becomes very important. IMO.

Ronaldo
01-06-2008, 08:20 PM
Ever hear of hanging a pork chop around your neck? Get a big gold rope, attach it to a big gold medallian. You'll get lots of play, Husky. And get a big hat, it attracts women.

10sfreak
01-06-2008, 08:21 PM
Husky, I've only just now read some of this thread, so I don't know all the advice you've gotten, but just from reading this last page, I would advise you to listen to CC - hers seems to be the most sensible and adult, but then again, Rickson's advice may work for the younger girls. Young people, both girls and guys, tend to play a lot of games when it comes to dating...

Vermillion
01-06-2008, 08:31 PM
Try it both ways? So...threat the girl like you could care less and when she moves along scamper after her being chivalrous and apologizing for not treating her as you feel for her? Ha! By then it is too late but hey, it's better to listen to a bunch of single guys on a forum offering their two bits than the females who are genuinely offering some advice. Either way, this isn't my problem so carry on and do whatever you think will land the girl. The question is are you wanting her for a night or a little bit longer because then the approach indeed becomes very important. IMO.

both ways on different girls, of course. ;)

Rickson
01-06-2008, 08:52 PM
CC, are you buggin? I've been on both ends of "love confessions" and it's a turn off. When I was an inexperienced teen and I'd tell girls "how I felt", that courtship was over in a hurry. Conversely, when girls told me how much they liked me, I felt quite obliged to move on to the next girl because let's face it, there's a turn off factor. Don't get me wrong, you could certainly let your feelings be known after something's been established, but for **** sake, not during the courting process. Husky wants to know how to get a girl to like him, not how to scare her away. All that lovey dovey confession stuff is for later and that's what I'm saying.

UW_Husky88
01-06-2008, 09:05 PM
Well for one thing it helps to be attractive. That's the first thing a woman sees in you. If you fit her description of what she's looking for visually she will open up and give you a chance to take her out. If you're not attarctive you probably should try to make up for it in other ways, be charming, smile, be comfortable in your own skin and very important to dress good. Girls like guys who dress nice and sharp. Also, show some confidence, that you got something going for yourself but don't be cocky. A girl won't like a guy who's full of or in love with himself. Quiet confidence is key, it shows. Try to be funny, make her laugh. All of those things will work. If you can use just a couple of those things you're fine. Oh, I forgot. If you're a short dude you're screwed. None of those things may apply unless you got money or look like Tom Cruise.

I wouldn't call myself attractive...at all. I'm trying to change that, but we'll see how it goes. I do make her laugh fairly often, and I guess I dress OK because she comments on my clothes (especially this one shirt...and in a positive way, not in a demeaning way lol). Oh, and is around 5 foot 6 or 5 foot 7 really short?? She's not even like 5 foot 5 herself, so would I be OK height-wise?

Rickson
01-06-2008, 09:08 PM
I wouldn't call myself attractive...at all. I'm trying to change that, but we'll see how it goes. I do make her laugh fairly often, and I guess I dress OK because she comments on my clothes (especially this one shirt...and in a positive way, not in a demeaning way lol). Oh, and is around 5 foot 6 or 5 foot 7 really short?? She's not even like 5 foot 5 herself, so would I be OK height-wise?

There's no height problem.

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 09:11 PM
CC, are you buggin? I've been on both ends of "love confessions" and it's a turn off. When I was an inexperienced teen and I'd tell girls "how I felt", that courtship was over in a hurry. Conversely, when girls told me how much they liked me, I felt quite obliged to move on to the next girl because let's face it, there's a turn off factor. Don't get me wrong, you could certainly let your feelings be known after something's been established, but for **** sake, not during the courting process. Husky wants to know how to get a girl to like him, not how to scare her away. All that lovey dovey confession stuff is for later and that's what I'm saying.

Okay, well this sounds much different from your last post. I agree to not confess feelings of love in the first stages of a relationship (in fact I tend to hold off longer than most when I think about it since I take those words seriously when in the context of a relationship) but there's nothing wrong in telling someone that you care about them if you do. You suggested to pretend you were disinterested though so has that stance changed as well?

Rickson
01-06-2008, 09:17 PM
You suggested to pretend you were disinterested though so has that stance changed as well?
I do not advocate games and I did not post such nonsense. I suggested he not "confess feelings of love" during the courtship, never did I say he should act disinterested. Maybe I wasn't clear enough in stating that it's during courtship, but I reiterate, I never told him to act uninterested. I'm glad you agree that showing early feelings is a no no.

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 09:21 PM
I do not advocate games and I did not post such nonsense. I suggested he not "confess feelings of love" during the courtship, never did I say he should act disinterested. Maybe I wasn't clear enough in stating that it's during courtship, but I reiterate, I never told him to act uninterested. I'm glad you agree that showing early feelings is a no no.

Okay, my bad! I apologize as I clearly misunderstood your post. I think we are in basic agreement then (for the exception of self deprecating humour).

Rickson
01-06-2008, 09:29 PM
I never ask for directions because I get embarrassed. Oh I wish I had big muscles, but I'm so fat. I have a little ****. Are you sure this is a good approach in getting a girl to like you?

CanadianChic
01-06-2008, 09:36 PM
I consider those to be personal put downs, not self deprecation. I think we have different views on what we consider it to be. For example, when I tell my friends about some goof I made or something clumsy I did, I tell it in such a manner that I'm poking fun of myself without insulting myself. I have a very healthy admiration for myself so no one would ever consider me to have low self esteem when telling about how I tripped and landed on my arse in front of a crowd. Does that make any sense to you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-deprecation

Teh_pwnerer
01-06-2008, 10:47 PM
Dude, husky, be confident, thats all you need, dont try!, be yourself!!.

J011yroger
01-07-2008, 04:00 AM
I never ask for directions because I get embarrassed. Oh I wish I had big muscles, but I'm so fat. I have a little ****. Are you sure this is a good approach in getting a girl to like you?

That isn't self depreciating humor, that is being a sniveling whining wishy washy so and so.

Observe these changes.

I never ask for directions because I get embarrassed.

"Directions?!?! I don't need directions, I have the force. Either that or we will just drive in ever widening circles until we find the place."

Oh I wish I had big muscles, but I'm so fat.

"I wanted to get some workout clothes, but the girl at the store told me 'Sorry they don't come in colossal'."

I have a little ****.

"Heck no, I am not afraid of comming up short, by the time they see it, it is allready too late."

The object of self depreciating humor is to be humorous, not put yourself down.

"This would be so much easier if I was competant."

"So at the tender age of 25 my little pea brain flickers to life, and I make the discovery that if you don't fill your coffee cup all the way to the very top until it can't hold another drop, then when you hit a bump in the car it doesn't spill all over the place."

J

superman1
01-07-2008, 05:23 AM
Any type of humor, self-deprecating or otherwise, is good if it makes her laugh. If it doesn't make her laugh, cease and desist immediately (ideally, by making a joke at how terrible your joke was - that always gets a laugh, because she knows it's so true). Or dump the broad, if you know your material was good and your setup was excellent and the delivery was a home run, and you got nothing but silence. Some of 'em just don't laugh, you don't want those serious types.

You're not good looking? Doesn't even matter. If she's friends with you, that means she doesn't find you so hideous that she can't even look at you. That would be the only hindrance to a girl not dating a guy, assuming he's great in every other way. He'd have to look like that kid from Mask, and even then there are certain girls that would probably dig that.

Girls are nice. They're usually not scary. You're slightly bigger than her, so she can't beat you up. So just go for it.

CanadianChic
01-07-2008, 08:40 PM
That isn't self depreciating humor, that is being a sniveling whining wishy washy so and so.

Observe these changes.



"Directions?!?! I don't need directions, I have the force. Either that or we will just drive in ever widening circles until we find the place."



"I wanted to get some workout clothes, but the girl at the store told me 'Sorry they don't come in colossal'."



"Heck no, I am not afraid of comming up short, by the time they see it, it is allready too late."

The object of self depreciating humor is to be humorous, not put yourself down.

"This would be so much easier if I was competant."

"So at the tender age of 25 my little pea brain flickers to life, and I make the discovery that if you don't fill your coffee cup all the way to the very top until it can't hold another drop, then when you hit a bump in the car it doesn't spill all over the place."

J

Excellent turnaround of a self pitying insult to a good use of self deprecating humour. This made me laugh - humour is so key when attracting the opposite sex.

thejackal
01-07-2008, 09:22 PM
and about the whole "outta my league" deal, heres what i like to say

- your league is whichever league you choose to play in.

2slow
01-07-2008, 09:25 PM
go read The Game by Neil Struass and your good to go

Morrissey
01-08-2008, 05:05 PM
I wouldn't call myself attractive...at all. I'm trying to change that, but we'll see how it goes. I do make her laugh fairly often, and I guess I dress OK because she comments on my clothes (especially this one shirt...and in a positive way, not in a demeaning way lol). Oh, and is around 5 foot 6 or 5 foot 7 really short?? She's not even like 5 foot 5 herself, so would I be OK height-wise?

Yeah, you should be fine actually. The things you mentioned are positive. If you're 5`6 or 7 you're short, but if she's not even 5`5 you're in. There's a saying in Spain, "women don't want a man for a walking cane". Or thereabouts. You get what it means. But given that this girl is shorter you're gonna do good. I have a friend who I play tennis and guitar with and he's possibly uglier than Oliver Kahn (search google images to see what I mean) but I've tried to help him dress out of sneakers and jogging pants with a t-shirt. The guy was a real slob to boot. My wife and I have hung out with him many times and still do, we help out picking some clothes and also have made him a bit more positive, Lol, me telling someone how to be positive. Hah! I hope he never reads this because he's my best friend.

Also, is she a cutie or hot? You can also get an idea from the way she is as a person. I can help, just tell me stuff about her. Is she the kind of girl that dresses like she's going out to a dance club everyday or does she dress casual? Believe it or not, music taste can also be a factor. If she likes Morrissey she's cool and you should obviously do the same thing and don't let her go. :-D

BTW, thanks for responding.

CanadianChic
01-08-2008, 08:17 PM
and about the whole "outta my league" deal, heres what i like to say

- your league is whichever league you choose to play in.

Very wise words and I agree with this 100%.

lilminihorse
01-08-2008, 08:23 PM
too lazy to read through.....

did you ever ask this girl out?

CanadianChic
01-08-2008, 08:38 PM
too lazy to read through.....

did you ever ask this girl out?

No he hasn't (to the best of my knowledge) he's still working up the courage through over a hundred and fifty posts. Mind you, some insight given here has been little more than locker room bravado unfortunately.

lilminihorse
01-08-2008, 08:50 PM
ok listen dude.....

here's what you do.. get some concert tickets.. tell her you're going and you have an extra ticket and does she wanna come. make sure it's to someone you both like so if she doesn't wanna go, you can still go and have a good time.. but I've found that concerts are the best first date type thing to do. dinner and movies are too cheesy.........

Rickson
01-08-2008, 09:00 PM
I may be funny, but I won't use self deprecating humor.

CanadianChic
01-08-2008, 09:04 PM
I may be funny, but I won't use self deprecating humor.

So what do you use then?

Rickson
01-08-2008, 09:05 PM
So what do you use then?

I just insult everyone else around me, just like I do over here.

CanadianChic
01-08-2008, 09:15 PM
I just insult everyone else around me, just like I do over here.

Haha. Okay, that was a good answer Ricky, just be sure to change your material often so it doesn't go stale.

Teh_pwnerer
01-08-2008, 09:16 PM
Listen husky, dont hesitate about asking her out, you gotta atleast try it, see, i was standing next to my mates and i saw this chick infront of us with her friends also, they were expecting someone to ask them out to dance, i dont really hand out with her, but i know her a little bit, but i do, so i was thinking, in my mind i was like, im going for it, but my feet wouldnt move, so i said, "**** it" i just said xcuse me went to where she was and asked, what was the worst that could have happened? that she said no, and even then i would be cool with myself coz i tried.. fortunately for me, she said yes, and it was a wonderful night..

So i say all that just to show you that you just have to be confident, dont think too hard about it, jus do it, i repeat what i said in an earlier post.

Dont hesitate, when the time comes, just act!

J011yroger
01-08-2008, 09:38 PM
I just insult everyone else around me, just like I do over here.

When you insult others, or talk down about them, especially behind their back to the person you are with, then the person you are with wonders what horrible things you say about him/her when they are not there.

Just something to think about.

J

Rickson
01-08-2008, 09:40 PM
When you insult others, or talk down about them, especially behind their back to the person you are with, then the person you are with wonders what horrible things you say about him/her when they are not there.

Just something to think about.



That's ok because they all know I insult them to their faces and behind their backs.

Teh_pwnerer
01-08-2008, 10:10 PM
That's ok because they all know I insult them to their faces and behind their backs.

LMFAO priceless

Morrissey
01-08-2008, 10:24 PM
ok listen dude.....

here's what you do.. get some concert tickets.. tell her you're going and you have an extra ticket and does she wanna come. make sure it's to someone you both like so if she doesn't wanna go, you can still go and have a good time.. but I've found that concerts are the best first date type thing to do. dinner and movies are too cheesy.........

Yes, a Morrissey concert. :-D

my_forehand
01-09-2008, 03:32 AM
Sing "Hey There Delilah" to her but replace "Delilah" with her name. Works like a charm.

Suppose she doesn't live in NYC, and he ins't a thousand miles away? Or suppose he couldn't play the guitar and write/sing songs? Lol j/k.

Tempest344
01-09-2008, 04:26 AM
play guitar

suprising that it Actually Works

UW_Husky88
01-09-2008, 02:03 PM
Yeah, you should be fine actually. The things you mentioned are positive. If you're 5`6 or 7 you're short, but if she's not even 5`5 you're in. There's a saying in Spain, "women don't want a man for a walking cane". Or thereabouts. You get what it means. But given that this girl is shorter you're gonna do good. I have a friend who I play tennis and guitar with and he's possibly uglier than Oliver Kahn (search google images to see what I mean) but I've tried to help him dress out of sneakers and jogging pants with a t-shirt. The guy was a real slob to boot. My wife and I have hung out with him many times and still do, we help out picking some clothes and also have made him a bit more positive, Lol, me telling someone how to be positive. Hah! I hope he never reads this because he's my best friend.

Also, is she a cutie or hot? You can also get an idea from the way she is as a person. I can help, just tell me stuff about her. Is she the kind of girl that dresses like she's going out to a dance club everyday or does she dress casual? Believe it or not, music taste can also be a factor. If she likes Morrissey she's cool and you should obviously do the same thing and don't let her go. :-D

BTW, thanks for responding.

She's for sure a cutie. I think she's attractive, but I'm sure she'd be one of those girls where a typical high school guy would say, "She's hot, but I've seen better" (well actually, they'd say something more offensive (like, "I'd tap that"), but I'm not really like that). Uhh, is A&F casual or hoochie? She likes to wear what's in, but she doesn't wear skimpy tops, shorts or anything. Only if it's really hot then she'll wear typical girl short shorts and mini-skirts, but even those aren't as short as most chicks these days. As far as music, she's into totally girly stuff like high school musical, and pop music, which is OK in moderation for me because I love that fruity 90s music, but I also like gangster rap LOL. But yeah, any other info needed?

By the way, I might be screwed because I heard from a close friend of hers that she might like someone else...oh well.

CanadianChic
01-09-2008, 02:05 PM
Husky, I asked earlier but you probably missed it...in your profile it says you are 27. Is this an error? I am seriously asking, not even being a tad sarcastic.

UW_Husky88
01-09-2008, 04:57 PM
Husky, I asked earlier but you probably missed it...in your profile it says you are 27. Is this an error? I am seriously asking, not even being a tad sarcastic.

I'm not 27, I just don't like disclosing my real age, name, etc. on the internet. I'm a normal high schooler, not one that has been held back 10 years and enjoys staring at young girls haha.

Vision84
01-09-2008, 06:13 PM
Husky you should have enough advice by now. I know with my first girlfriend I kept waiting for the right moment to ask her out and I couldn't do it. So I finally just sucked it up and asked her and afterwards I couldn't believe how easy it was. And we went out for over a year. Just one thing, make sure you have an idea for a date in mind. I got so hung up on asking her out that I didn't but fortunately she liked me a lot anyway and we just did a dinner and a movie.

My point is that you should just ask her out and stop overthinking it. It's easier than it looks. If she says no then ok now I have an answer and don't have to keep tearing my hair out over it. If she says yes then great. It's better to know than to just keep wondering what if. And while you keep doing this she may find someone else. You have spent a lot of time with her from what I have gathered so you don't need to keep trying to prove yourself to her. She knows your personality already so just act.

LuckyR
01-09-2008, 08:47 PM
OK, in that case, how do you find out whether a girl likes you or not lol. And I'm still open to suggestions on that note!

You can't. You just have to put it out there on the line and get shot down many times. It is trial and error (except for the few who have made this area of research their hobby, they are Professionals at it).

Teh_pwnerer
01-09-2008, 08:55 PM
You can't. You just have to put it out there on the line and get shot down many times. It is trial and error (except for the few who have made this area of research their hobby, they are Professionals at it).

its like poker, what happens when you have a really good hand, and someone else does an all in, you wanna call or go all in as well, and then when you get that kickazz flush or the other guy beats you just coz he got a higher kicker what do you do? if you won, yay u had the guts to go all in!, if you loose dam that sux but i had the guts to go all in!

so its prettymuch like that, u just gotta do it!

J011yroger
01-09-2008, 08:56 PM
so its prettymuch like that, u just gotta do it!

Or in other words, sack up.

J

Morrissey
01-09-2008, 09:05 PM
She's for sure a cutie. I think she's attractive, but I'm sure she'd be one of those girls where a typical high school guy would say, "She's hot, but I've seen better" (well actually, they'd say something more offensive (like, "I'd tap that"), but I'm not really like that). Uhh, is A&F casual or hoochie? She likes to wear what's in, but she doesn't wear skimpy tops, shorts or anything. Only if it's really hot then she'll wear typical girl short shorts and mini-skirts, but even those aren't as short as most chicks these days. As far as music, she's into totally girly stuff like high school musical, and pop music, which is OK in moderation for me because I love that fruity 90s music, but I also like gangster rap LOL. But yeah, any other info needed?

By the way, I might be screwed because I heard from a close friend of hers that she might like someone else...oh well.

Alright then, well she's a regular kinda of gal which is a good thing for you since she doesn't seem "high maintenance" or flaky. Most importantly you just gotta be you, don't try to make yourself into something you're not just to please her because she'll sense it and think you're not being original. A&F is fine (I wear their long sleeve buttoned shirts) but if she wears all her stuff from them that's no good, hey at least its not Armani Exchange. It's ok to buy Old Navy once in a while too. But someone else in here said to take her out to a gig or something, that's also a good idea since its about having a good time, no strings attached. Just enjoying the music and then afterwards maybe eat at a diner if you're both hungry which is likely after a long gig.

See if she has a "spark" in her eyes when she's talking to you, when you see it you'll know I mean. If she has a certain "listless or desireless" look in her eyes she may just want to remain friends. If she's into you she will let you know, she'll be enthusiastic around you, stand close to you and look at you often. She won't say it with words but with body language and hope you get the hint. Just be observant but don't try too hard. Marat Safin said a great line about confidence. "Confidence is like love, if you look too hard for it you'll never find it." Basically if she's not willing to take it to the level you desire don't force it, take it for what it is and be cool about it. It shows that you're not desperate or pushing it.

Teh_pwnerer
01-09-2008, 09:18 PM
Alright then, well she's a regular kinda of gal which is a good thing for you since she doesn't seem "high maintenance" or flaky. Most importantly you just gotta be you, don't try to make yourself into something you're not just to please her because she'll sense it and think you're not being original. A&F is fine (I wear their long sleeve buttoned shirts) but if she wears all her stuff from them that's no good, hey at least its not Armani Exchange. It's ok to buy Old Navy once in a while too. But someone else in here said to take her out to a gig or something, that's also a good idea since its about having a good time, no strings attached. Just enjoying the music and then afterwards maybe eat at a diner if you're both hungry which is likely after a long gig.

See if she has a "spark" in her eyes when she's talking to you, when you see it you'll know I mean. If she has a certain "listless or desireless" look in her eyes she may just want to remain friends. If she's into you she will let you know, she'll be enthusiastic around you, stand close to you and look at you often. She won't say it with words but with body language and hope you get the hint. Just be observant but don't try too hard. Marat Safin said a great line about confidence. "Confidence is like love, if you look too hard for it you'll never find it." Basically if she's not willing to take it to the level you desire don't force it, take it for what it is and be cool about it. It shows that you're not desperate or pushing it.

Omg that last paragraph is so right man!, i lived that last saturday, and the ebst part is, i have feelings for that chick too

val_theworst
01-09-2008, 09:58 PM
What about while walking next to each other and she playfully bumps shoulders or play shoves?

Teh_pwnerer
01-09-2008, 10:05 PM
What about while walking next to each other and she playfully bumps shoulders or play shoves?

im pretty sure thas a good sign

AlpineCadet
01-09-2008, 10:11 PM
im pretty sure thas a good sign
OP: Stop stroking your own ego and take the dive. If you get shot down, I'd expect to hear about it in the Rants/Raves section.

I wonder how she would feel if she knew you started this OP and actually read through this whole thread.

Teh_pwnerer
01-09-2008, 10:34 PM
OP: Stop stroking your own ego and take the dive. If you get shot down, I'd expect to hear about it in the Rants/Raves section.

I wonder how she would feel if she knew you started this OP and actually read through this whole thread.

im not the op :O

AlpineCadet
01-09-2008, 11:04 PM
I know that, which was why I wrote: OP. :)

J011yroger
01-10-2008, 02:59 PM
What about while walking next to each other and she playfully bumps shoulders or play shoves?

Slam dunk.

J

UW_Husky88
01-10-2008, 04:01 PM
See if she has a "spark" in her eyes when she's talking to you, when you see it you'll know I mean. If she has a certain "listless or desireless" look in her eyes she may just want to remain friends. If she's into you she will let you know, she'll be enthusiastic around you, stand close to you and look at you often. She won't say it with words but with body language and hope you get the hint. Just be observant but don't try too hard. Marat Safin said a great line about confidence. "Confidence is like love, if you look too hard for it you'll never find it." Basically if she's not willing to take it to the level you desire don't force it, take it for what it is and be cool about it. It shows that you're not desperate or pushing it.

See, the thing is, I'm really confused by her behavior. For example, I remember this one time while discussing colleges I said that I might do business or pre-med, and she made a face and started saying her disgust for business. Recently, however, without having taken a business class or having had any experience in business, she has said that she might do it. So I'm wondering if that has anything at all to do with me perhaps, or I don't know.

The confusion isn't that though, it's days like today where she acts weird. Like this whole week she talked a lot to me, but today, she didn't invite me to see a movie for school with her friend and only offered to let me borrow the movie afterwards. I don't know if maybe its because she's trying to spend more time with other friends or if she maybe knows I like her and wants to avoid me, yet still keep me close enough as a friend.

As far as playful touching and stuff, the only time she touches me is if she's giving me a high five, but she does that to everyone who's decent friends with her.

So here are my questions once again that I'm hoping some of you may be able to help me answer using this new info:

1. What does that whole movie thing maybe mean? Am I looking too much into it?
2. Even though she doesn't playfully touch me, does that necessarily have to be a bad thing? I've heard from some that if a girl seems to open up to you when you're talking and have meaningful convos then it could be that just as I'm too shy to touch her that she's too shy to touch me. I dunno, I'm guessing that's a load of crap since most of the advice outside of this forum has been crap anyway, but yeah, lemme know.

Sorry guys for so many questions, but this is the first time I've felt really strongly about someone, and it hasn't been just a passing crush. I'm so confused and I really want to make sure that when I do it that I do it correctly. So I really appreciate your help and all you've done for me already...seriously

CanadianChic
01-10-2008, 04:16 PM
I dunno, I'm guessing that's a load of crap since most of the advice outside of this forum has been crap anyway, but yeah, lemme know.


And there has been a fair amount of crap within this forum as well. LMOJ.

There is a saying around these parts Husky that I wish to share in the hope it will spur you into action...any action: Crap or get off the pot!!!

UW_Husky88
01-10-2008, 04:22 PM
And there has been a fair amount of crap within this forum as well. LMOJ.

There is a saying around these parts Husky that I wish to share in the hope it will spur you into action...any action: Crap or get off the pot!!!

are you calling me a pot head? Where did that come from lol? Sorry if I seem confused but like I said, I'm new at this stuff, so I'm looking for advice.

CanadianChic
01-10-2008, 04:26 PM
are you calling me a pot head? Where did that come from lol? Sorry if I seem confused but like I said, I'm new at this stuff, so I'm looking for advice.

And I offered you some as well as others, over and over and over and over. We're not going to ask her out for you and the longer you wait the more freaked out you are going to make yourself. So again, crap or get off the pot (meaning toilet).

RoddickAce
01-10-2008, 04:40 PM
And I offered you some as well as others, over and over and over and over. We're not going to ask her out for you and the longer you wait the more freaked out you are going to make yourself. So again, crap or get off the pot (meaning toilet).


Ya, time is ticking dude[husky]. Like you said, you're in the last year of high school. So tell her as soon as possible, or else you might not have chance again. Yes, you can call her and stuff, but in school, you practically see her everyday, so this is your best chance. Again good luck, and hurry.(while you're hurrying, keep your composure though)

UW_Husky88
01-10-2008, 04:42 PM
yeah but seriously, the main thing is that I don't want to ruin a friendship over something like this, which is why I'm delaying a lot.

CanadianChic
01-10-2008, 04:54 PM
yeah but seriously, the main thing is that I don't want to ruin a friendship over something like this, which is why I'm delaying a lot.

There is delaying and there is doing nothing. You have our advice so go out there and do your thing. The chances not taken in life quickly become regrets. The worst thing is she will say no...the best thing is she will say yes. If you do nothing it is a no - you do the math. We will all be here to console you if (and hopefully you won't) need it, but we probably won't be wanting to listen to you five years from now moan over having done nothing when you had the chance. :?

tricky
01-10-2008, 05:38 PM
the main thing is that I don't want to ruin a friendship over something like this,

The truth is, you won't ruin your friendship over this. It may feel uncomfortable, but by graduation, people just want to get along.

It just means you will finally get your answer, and you don't want to hear "no." The fear of failure is making you do nothing.

The best way really is to meet other people, because it alleviates the pressure you're putting on yourself to get a "win" with her. And it also helps you see that even if she says no, there will be other times. Finally, it also psychologically sets you up for the best chance of "success", since you'd have gained more experience and you'd have a cooler head.

But, then again, you'll get all that in college anyway. So . . .

The way to do this in a "noncommitted" sort of way is to make more eye contact with her, smile, and after every conversation, make some kind of physical contact. Maybe playfully nudge her shoulder, or brush up against her hand like if you were giving a pencil or something.

And just to keep doing this until you feel comfortable around her and she feels comfortable around you. Chances are, you'll start hearing more stuff from mutual friends, which you shouldn't try to interpret. Instead look for frequency of "rumor mill" stuff, and just keep doing what you're doing.

Don't ask her out. Don't tell her what you feel. Don't plan. Don't force your expectations on her. Instead try to build the kind of friendship you want and see whether she's feeling you or not. If she is, you'll eventually get the courage to open up.

Morrissey
01-10-2008, 07:06 PM
yeah but seriously, the main thing is that I don't want to ruin a friendship over something like this, which is why I'm delaying a lot.

You have to scale the weight within yourself between friendship and being lovers. If the friendship is what means more to you then you shouldn't ask her out but if you want to be her boyfriend I would totally go for it. There's nothing I hate more than "what if...". Just thinking about it drives me nuts. I'd go for it man, what if she likes you and is waiting for you to finally make a move? You make her wait and then some dude comes along and takes her away from you? I couldn't live with that. But if she says no, be cool, don't sweat it and stay relaxed. I'd rather know because it's good for you. This will be a stepping stone in your life. I was in a similar position after high school and I wish someone had told me then.

slice bh compliment
01-10-2008, 07:13 PM
You have to scale the weight within yourself between friendship and being lovers. ...

Very good point(s). It's complex, even more so if you are insecure and young.

Here's a cool song, btw, for the pop kids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXgoqG7ZU94

While you're at it, this is one of my favorite songs by the same band.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohi8NlxjtTQ&feature=related
For whatever reasons, the tall guy who comes in at 2:28 is how I picture TW's very own Rickson. It's a compliment, and not a backhanded one.

Rickson
01-10-2008, 07:20 PM
yeah but seriously, the main thing is that I don't want to ruin a friendship over something like this, which is why I'm delaying a lot.

This is a tough call. How did you wind up becoming friends? You didn't kick it to her from the get go, huh? Take it as a life lesson. If you're attracted to a girl, rap to her from the start. It's better to get shot down from the start than to not know what could have been for years.

Morrissey
01-10-2008, 07:35 PM
This is a tough call. How did you wind up becoming friends? You didn't kick it to her from the get go, huh? Take it as a life lesson. If you're attracted to a girl, rap to her from the start. It's better to get shot down from the start than to not know what could have been for years.

Well said. It's really the only way because it builds experience, even if its negative it's still something you can use for the future. How he handles it will be as important as how he asks her to go out. I remember asking this hot chick out back in '99 and I was nuts for her. I didn't know if she had a guy and when I asked her if she was interested in going out sometime she told me she was engaged. Ouch! I took it real good and made a nice comeback saying "hmm, I can see how that can be a problem for me." I smiled and she laughed because I took it so well and with humor to boot. I almost saw regret in her eyes that night, like "how did I not meet this guy sooner?". I totally recommend this fella to go for it. Man, what's the worst thing that could happen? If she says no at least he can be in peace (mentally), if she wants to stay friends she will do so because it will mean something to her. But this is most importantly an experience in his life that he will use as a positive and for future experiences with girls.

Morrissey
01-10-2008, 07:42 PM
Very good point(s). It's complex, even more so if you are insecure and young.

Here's a cool song, btw, for the pop kids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXgoqG7ZU94

While you're at it, this is one of my favorite songs by the same band.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohi8NlxjtTQ&feature=related
For whatever reasons, the tall guy who comes in at 2:28 is how I picture TW's very own Rickson. It's a compliment, and not a backhanded one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nAMFWDuDEI

Great song for the OP.

tricky
01-10-2008, 08:23 PM
Remember Husky -- the more she ignores you, the closer you get. She's wasting your time . . . ;)

Sorry, that's a Smiths song. :D

racquet_jedi
01-10-2008, 08:26 PM
The rules of the game of love are so complex, I barely understand any of them...:wink:

slice bh compliment
01-10-2008, 09:27 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nAMFWDuDEI

Great song for the OP.

One of the finest songs ever.

So perfect that a man called Morrissey helps a kid with the pain of unrequited love.

Well done, Moz.

Rickson
01-10-2008, 09:35 PM
Slice, you got me pictured wrong. I'm only 5'6 with a blocky build, but I am pretty strong.

slice bh compliment
01-10-2008, 09:39 PM
Slice, you got me pictured wrong. I'm only 5'6 with a blocky build, but I am pretty strong.

Yes, but are you the ''verbal herman munster'' like it says in the song?

CanadianChic
01-11-2008, 03:07 AM
I almost saw regret in her eyes that night, like "how did I not meet this guy sooner?".

Oh wow, I have tears in my eyes - from laughing so hard. That one is just priceless! :lol:

sharks195
01-11-2008, 03:25 AM
Sing "Hey There Delilah" to her but replace "Delilah" with her name. Works like a charm.

That has to be the worst advice I have heard mainly because that has to be the worst song ever written as well as any rap/hip hop songs.

Morrissey
01-11-2008, 06:02 AM
Oh wow, I have tears in my eyes - from laughing so hard. That one is just priceless! :lol:

Cute. I'm here to help the dude out. But to let you know that woman is no longer married. Her guy cheated on her. Divorce was finalised around last year. Too late for her, she's interested but I'm happily married myself.

And lastly, WAS I TALKING TO YOU!!!!???

richw76
01-11-2008, 12:14 PM
And I offered you some as well as others, over and over and over and over. We're not going to ask her out for you and the longer you wait the more freaked out you are going to make yourself. So again, crap or get off the pot (meaning toilet).

Too funny. I feel his pain. I punked out in high school too. I had lots of excuses of curse. I made up for it in college though.

I'm sure you'll figure it out when you're ready. The good news is at least you won't knock anyone up, you'll also have a lot less baggage. I met some girls in college that were seriously broken and jaded. They started dating to soon.

Have fun and stop taking yourself so serious. ;-)

CanadianChic
01-11-2008, 07:30 PM
Cute. I'm here to help the dude out. But to let you know that woman is no longer married. Her guy cheated on her. Divorce was finalised around last year. Too late for her, she's interested but I'm happily married myself.

And lastly, WAS I TALKING TO YOU!!!!???

Thanks for that information...I'll make sure to file it away somewhere. Yeah, you weren't talking to me directly but maybe you are unfamiliar with me. Hi, I'm CC and I lay my comments wherever I please on this "talk forum" the same as everyone else. I consider many of my comments to be a public service and although I don't expect any thanks or monetary gifts for my advice, an occasional "damn, you're smart" is always accepted. ;)

10sfreak
01-11-2008, 08:27 PM
Thanks for that information...I'll make sure to file it away somewhere. Yeah, you weren't talking to me directly but maybe you are unfamiliar with me. Hi, I'm CC and I lay my comments wherever I please on this "talk forum" the same as everyone else. I consider many of my comments to be a public service and although I don't expect any thanks or monetary gifts for my advice, an occasional "damn, you're smart" is always accepted. ;)
CC, damn, you're smart!:)

CanadianChic
01-11-2008, 08:29 PM
CC, damn, you're smart!:)

Why thank you very much 10s. I admire your perception. lol.

Vermillion
01-11-2008, 08:32 PM
Who wants to start a new thread!????

"How do you get CanadianChic to like you?"

10sfreak
01-11-2008, 08:33 PM
Who wants to start a new thread!????

"How do you get CanadianChic to like you?"
That's easy - tell her she's smart!

CanadianChic
01-11-2008, 08:33 PM
Nah! I like everyone (that is, until someone goes out of their way to change my mind). Yep.

Vermillion
01-11-2008, 08:34 PM
Nah! I like everyone (that is, until someone goes out of their way to change my mind). Yep.

Ah ok. That's a smart way to handle things.

Swissv2
01-11-2008, 08:39 PM
Who wants to start a new thread!????

"How do you get CanadianChic to like you?"


Ask her if you could be her "Shining Knight" :p

Vermillion
01-11-2008, 08:41 PM
Ask her if you could be her "Shining Knight" :p

I don't have a horse. do armors shine in a snow storm? don't they look dull in the winter?

Leelord337
01-11-2008, 11:51 PM
hmm...get rich, popular, and witty

Morrissey
01-12-2008, 12:02 AM
Who wants to start a new thread!????

"How do you get CanadianChic to like you?"

Simple, be an a**hole to everyone and name yourself Phil.

Teh_pwnerer
01-12-2008, 12:20 AM
Simple, be an a**hole to everyone and name yourself Phil.

hey its exactly what i was thinking

Leelord337
01-12-2008, 12:27 AM
Simple, be an a**hole to everyone and name yourself Phil.

and when you play tennis wear tight blue underarmour shirts and a white sweatband...(re: ano)

Hot Sauce
01-12-2008, 01:42 AM
its like poker, what happens when you have a really good hand, and someone else does an all in, you wanna call or go all in as well, and then when you get that kickazz flush or the other guy beats you just coz he got a higher kicker what do you do? if you won, yay u had the guts to go all in!, if you loose dam that sux but i had the guts to go all in!

so its prettymuch like that, u just gotta do it!

Metaphor not necessary.

Hot Sauce
01-12-2008, 01:46 AM
I'm not 27, I just don't like disclosing my real age, name, etc. on the internet. I'm a normal high schooler, not one that has been held back 10 years and enjoys staring at young girls haha.

My problem solving skills tell me that you are anywhere in the age range of 13-18.

Teh_pwnerer
01-12-2008, 01:58 AM
Metaphor not necessary.

post not necessary

Hot Sauce
01-12-2008, 02:40 AM
post not necessary

Existence not necessary.

thejackal
01-12-2008, 08:15 AM
moving on...


one thing i find important is the same thing as my english teachers used to say, "Show, dont tell." don't tell a girl "i like you" out of the blue, instead try to get her to do things with you first. cultivate the little spark she may have for you, instead of surprising her and perhaps snuffing it.

10sfreak
01-12-2008, 09:37 PM
Simple, be an a**hole to everyone and name yourself Phil.
LOL! Good one! Don't know if it'll make CC like you or not, but the description on phillis was spot on!

Breaker
01-12-2008, 11:32 PM
don't go for the dinner dates, go for lunch. lunch = yummy

(a date at a cafeteria is guaranteed victory).

It has been scientifically proven that lunch dates put you in the dreaded "friend zone", it's common knowledge really :neutral:.

Hot Sauce
01-13-2008, 02:04 AM
It has been scientifically proven that lunch dates put you in the dreaded "friend zone", it's common knowledge really :neutral:.

Sometimes it's easier (for the girl) to be a friend before a boyfriend.

sharks195
01-13-2008, 09:36 PM
Existence not necessary.

personality not necessary

Breaker
01-13-2008, 09:39 PM
Sometimes it's easier (for the girl) to be a friend before a boyfriend.

Haha I realise that, in fact I don't believe I've ever had a girlfriend who wasn't a friend first. My post was a lame "Just Friends" reference :)

UW_Husky88
01-13-2008, 09:41 PM
Haha I realise that, in fact I don't believe I've ever had a girlfriend who wasn't a friend first. My post was a lame "Just Friends" reference :)

breaker, I love that sig. I remember the first time I saw that, I literally fell out of my chair and ROFLed.

Feņa14
01-13-2008, 09:48 PM
It has been scientifically proven that lunch dates put you in the dreaded "friend zone", it's common knowledge really :neutral:.

Did you get that from the film, "Just Friends"? ;)