Tennis Parents

[Joe Average]

Not a rant, really. This is not an attack. Because I'm sure, and I know, that there are some very good, well-meaning tennis parents out there. And perhaps they can help explain this aspect of tennis-sports culture. Something caught my eye this weekend while at my local tennis club. I watched a private lesson given to some kid, no more than five-years old. The tennis pro was making him throw a ball over the net from the service line. And he wasn't doing a very good job of it, either. My thought was ... geez, I know where this kid for two hours a day can learn to run, jump and throw: the playground. Did his parents really need to pay a pro $55 an hour? And it isn't just this kid. I've seen others taking private lessons (and, mind you, this isn't a fancy country club), kids who, to my untrained eye, show not much promise.

Anyway, is this simply the nature of sports that play time is so regulated that it needs to be scheduled? Or is this in the nature of tennis? Do well-meaning tennis parents see the value of sports and prefer that their kids learn a sport like tennis rather than have them fend for themselves among hooligans playing other sports? Are these parents following the Williams model and molding their kids into professionals? Is the success of "start early" (Hingis, Agassi, Tiger Woods) pushing this? Would it be different if tennis was still an amateur sport? (although soccer seems to refute this. Because for all and purposes, it's still largely an amateur sport in the US.) Anyway, your thoughts? Thanks.

[Deuce]

Unfortunately, this type of thing is usually the result of parents who are more interested in 'fame and fortune' than they are in the well being of their children. All too often, the children hate doing these drills - simply because, as you said, a 5 year old's natural gravitation is to the playground, and not to some over regulated, repititious exercize that is being forced upon him.

This type of behavior by parents borders on abuse. It is a warped mindset similar to that of the 14 year old runaway who runs from home and heads to California with dreams of being a movie star (and ends up in a different kind of 'movie' than that in her wild imaginings).

Let kids be kids.

Put something in the water - quick.

[edge]

Back in the day, kids wouldn't learn to play tennis until they were 12. They had to be strong enough to hit a one-handed BH with a 13 oz. wooden racquet. They you would hit against the wall to groove your stroke. Nowadays, every yuppie wants to see if their kid can be a phenom. What a waste.

[jmckinney]

I agree, it is a waste of time and money. I think alot of parents use it as an excuse to get their kids away and off their shoulders. Sad but true. Parents need to grow up and spend that time with their kids instead of pushing them onto and into something they clearly are not ready for and shouldn't be forced on them.

[Rocky Top]

Had to chime in here - I used to be a traching pro, and met my share of nutty parents. That said, only one in a hundred whaere I taught really had the wrong things in mind.

Most of th time, it was a divorcee just trying to be a good dad on Saturday morning. After all, his daughter seems to like tennis, and the Harrison's take their daughter to soccer 6 times a week and... I usually told those guys to save their $ and head down to the park to hit a few together.

BTW, I think clinics or camps are a good fit for kids from 6-8. just so long as they are well-run. The key is that the activites need to be fun and the level of interaction with te other kids kept up throughout.

[baseliner]

A sign of the times. When I was a kid we played at the local baseball field every day during summer break. No scheduled game, just everyone show up in the AM and played all day long. Teams would change as people came and went. Now I see children only playing scheduled games. At my tennis club, the courts are vacant unless it is a scheduled match or team practice. I took my son out to hit Saturday around 4 PM on a beautiful Saturday, no one on any of the 8 courts. Sad

[Joe Average]

As I wrote, I'm not judging these parents. It may very well be a sign of the times where play time is scheduled, where professionalism is valued over amateurism (for the love of the game). When baseball was indeed the national pastime, we'd meet at the sandlot every afternoon of the summer. Tennis is a mature game because it draws on athletic skills we, supposedly, had acquired. We played "tag" games and learned to run. We played baseball and learned to throw, catch and judge the movement of the ball. When we learned to serve in tennis ... we discovered it was just a throwing motion. But we didn't pay $55 an hour to learn to run and throw. Specialization seems to have replaced a general athleticism ... recreation.

[Phil]

Joe Average:

As I wrote, I'm not judging these parents. It may very well be a sign of the times where play time is scheduled, where professionalism is valued over amateurism (for the love of the game).

What's wrong with judging these types of people-the pushy tennis parents that you refer to? They are worthy of judgment and that judgment is: they are the lowest form of life in the tennis world, and fall into the "bottom 20th percentile" on the overall human scale too.

I've seen behavior from these so-called tennis parents that made my skin crawl, and I have the feeling that I only witnessed the tip of the iceberg. These people are ruining their kids' childhood, and all for the miniscule chance that their kids will become successful pros-AKA Human ATM Machines. If a kid has talent and a love for the game, let him play. Sampras parents made sure he had great coaches, and then they stepped back. There ARE good examples and there are many bad examples.

[cak]

I'm confused. Which to which pushy tennis parents are
you referring. In the original post they were talking about a kid
learning to serve. I have a nine year old girl who wants to
play tennis more than anything. Mom plays tennis, dad
plays tennis, she wants to play too. So mom and dad take
her out to play. We've spent many an afternoon hitting with
her. Now she'd like to play a game. We offer to let her bounce
the ball, then hit it anywhere on our side. Well, that's not really
a serve like mom and dad do, she wants to serve. We attempt
to teach her. Forget it, we learned so many years ago we don't
know how we learned it. She takes a lesson with the pro, has
a great time, and learns to serve. Exactly what is wrong with
that. This pro happens to have clinics for kids starting at age
5. Much like soccer, at age 5 the real thing to teach is a love
of the game. If they aren't having fun its not working. Many
of my playing partners kids are in the clinics also. They all look
forward to it every week. Are they going to go pro someday.
No way, they have about the same chance of going pro as I
do at age 40 something. But are they having fun, you bet.

The time, they have changed. There are no pickup ball games
down at the park. Kids aren't allowed to go anywhere without
supervision. My daughter can go down to the park, and find
no one there. You set up activities so they can play with friends,
be it soccer or tennis or dance or horseback riding. This is their
play time. And when they don't like it anymore they drop it and
pick up a new activity.

Now I've seen tennis parents at tournaments, (and soccer parents
at games, and dance mom's at dance competitions etc.) and they
can be living their lives through their children. But signing a kid
up for a lesson or two does not mean they don't want to spend
time with them. Heck, they spend more if you count the driving
time.

[Feña14]

I am growing up now and unfortunately have no one to help me. My dad just likes football (soccer) I just wait down my tennis courts till somebody comes and I ask them for a game, thay always say NO and start saying to me "go find someone your own age". But that was only because I beat him in the club championship. I have never had a lesson in my life. I play for the County team and have to make my own way to tournaments. My Dad is dissapointed that I don't play soccer (football)

So I wish I had Parents who where interested in Me playing tennis.

But I suppose I will have to continue so that I can show them that I am better than they think! :)

Liam

[Feña14]

Thanks for the support NoBadMojo,

I would eventually like to become a teaching pro and to make my dad proud of me.

It just makes me even more determind to make it.

Once again thanks for support!!!!! Much appreciated.

Liam

[10sfather]

Liam , If you want it you go for it. You don't need lessons just watch what the pros do with the tennis ball , full strokes, movement, and spin and work on the wall or whatever. Look what ElAnoui(sp) has done. You may not win Wimbledon but someone you coach may. Good luck!

[Feña14]

Thanks 10sfather,

I always watch tennis. I think that I must of seen the French Open final from last year about 150 times (I wonder why :wink:). It's the first thing that I do when I get home from School.

I also hit up my wall for about 2 hours a day which isn't as good as match practise but it's better than nothing! I had put a floodlight in the back garden which meant I used to play till about 1am but that will soon have to change.

Unfortunately I am moving house next week so I won't have the wall in my garden. I remember hitting in January at about 12.30 am when it was snowing! happy days!

Liam

[ProStaffTour90]

My Dad doesn't like Tennis, but loves football, he is still secretly mad at me because he thinks that i could have been a very good footballer and until recently he wanted to believe that i just played tennis as a hobby and football was my passion!

He has realised now though, that i want to concentrate on Tennis and comes down to watch my matches whenever he can! He doesn't really understand the game but enjoys watching me play which i'm happy about!

[Skinny Dip]

As a parent who wishes I started tennis earlier to do the whole college team thing, I have to admit that I'm trying to get the kids interested in tennis. But there are other reasons too.

1) Tennis is a safer game than other contact sports,
2) it teaches individual competitiveness (I never liked team sports),
3) is a sport you can play over a lifetime (as opposed to others that get tough after 35),
4) is a sport where you can prevail over the more gifted athletically,
5) involves thinking and discipline, and
6) is a whole lotta fun.

There's no sport I'd rather see my kids play (except for the one that they really love). But at 9 and 10 yo, its too early to know what ultimately like, so for my part I recommend tennis.

[AndyC]

I think Cak has got it right.. the key thing is for the kid to enjoy tennis.. n if s/he does n goes for lessons then that's the right thing for the kid.

Kids pattern themselves on their parents.. get them at the right age and they will want to do whatever it is their parents do. Show them how repetitively hitting a yellow ball can be fun.. let them learn to enjoy it for themselves and teach them how to love the game and try their hardest.. then let them loose and see how far they go.