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acalbi923
04-02-2008, 03:49 PM
I am currently on my high schools team playing doubles. I often find that I have trouble keeping myself from getting really ****ed. My partner today double-faulted a full game (they try to mix up the talent on the team) and it got me so aggravated. Even when I just play singles and im getting down I get ****ed. My question is how do you guys keep yourselves cool?

czech09
04-02-2008, 04:23 PM
Remind myself it's just a game, and that even your partner is a person...

Maybe he's double faulting due to the pressure you put on him by getting ****ed?

Just take a deep breath and remind yourself you make mistakes as well. If your partner is significantly worse than you maybe show him how to serve the right way and help him out.

Bagumbawalla
04-02-2008, 04:46 PM
Realize that people behave in ways that have got them what they wanted in the past (a positive reinforcement).
So, getting angry, showing emotions, being confrontational-- these are things most people would prefer not to deal with. Parents (and others) are happy to let a child have his way, just to avoid deailing with their negative emotions.

Unfortunately, what works for a child, is not always the best formula for an emerging adult.

My answer is to "grow up".

Yes, but how do you do that- break a long history of behaviors- that are, now, no longer productive- especially on the tennis court?

Federer, as you might know had this problem when he was younger.

And the answer is, basically, that the ball is completely uneffected by anger, or any other emotion.

Just play the ball.

Your first step might be that you feel frustration or anger, but you just don't let it show. You learn how to behave (on the outside) as though nothing bothers you.

Eventually, you will control those feelings, more and more, and use that wasted energy for other things like concentrating on the ball, on strokes-- things that may actually help your game.

Good luck,

B

Essential Tennis
04-02-2008, 05:02 PM
I am currently on my high schools team playing doubles. I often find that I have trouble keeping myself from getting really ****ed. My partner today double-faulted a full game (they try to mix up the talent on the team) and it got me so aggravated. Even when I just play singles and im getting down I get ****ed. My question is how do you guys keep yourselves cool?

I feel your pain man, I had pretty serious anger issues in college, and I still deal with it when I compete. I wrote a blog article about attitudes going into playing tennis that may help you, I will post the link below.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend you buy "Mental Tennis" by Vic Braden. He's a psychologist and tennis coach, the book helped me a great deal in college. He discusses in depth where anger comes from, and ways of getting rid of it, along with tons of other mental huddles (nervousness etc). People get angry for different reasons. We all put different pressures and expectations on ourselves. Read the book and I guarantee it will help you.

Here's the link to the article on competitive attitudes, I'm a far cry from a psychological doctorate like Braden, but maybe it will help. Best of luck to you.

http://essentialtennis.blogspot.com/2008/02/attitudes-of-tennis.html

quicken
04-02-2008, 06:41 PM
Laugh it off have a good time on the court bro.

5263
04-02-2008, 07:48 PM
If you have recognized that anger does not help your play, then that is the first step. I used to think I played pretty good mad cause I won alot, but once I saw what a bad example it was for my son (who clearly didn't play well angry)
I did some reading on this and changed my style.

Learned to focus on what was intended for the next shot and avoid the aggrevation of replaying the past mistakes. It's almost that simple!
Just focus on what you intend to do well!
Even if you missed the last 4 shots, just focus on getting the next one right.
I didn't expect much change for me, but thought I'd be a better example for my kids.

Man was I in for a surprise. Not only did i play better due to focusing on what I should be doing next,
But my partners started playing better!

I guess all that negative I was bringing on the court was bringing them down too. I used to wonder why guys who played so well against me, would play so poorly when they were teamed with me. Especially women, as they would always stink paired with me.
Yes, I would still usually win with them, but more in spite of them.

Now though, it seems people play some of their best tennis when on MY team for a change. Even if they get a slow start, together we can almost always raise the level thru me showing confidence in them.

Funny huh, how doing this for my Kids, helped me as much as them; maybe more!

montx
04-02-2008, 07:55 PM
Firstly, I don't agree with much of the above posts.

I think if your partner is not helping your team game, you need to talk to him and help the forward movement of the team because that is what you are.

I don't think anyone tries to double fault, but it happens. Nobody tries to fail a test, everyone tries to pass them, but we do fail.

Do what you can by telling him to get his 2nd serve in even if it is a lollipop.

We are not all equal in the talent department and that is why, although it is hard to do, you must be patient with people.

Here you have a unique opportunity to be a leader. I'm sure many soldiers during wars who did leader jobs also dealt with situations where they needed to work with the weaker link soldiers.

Whether its teachers working with students or parents working with children or seargents working with privates, your a doubles team and the stronger should work to help the weaker.

fuzz nation
04-02-2008, 07:59 PM
Braden's book is the single best thing I've read for my tennis so far. If you want to understand the mechanisms in your melon and how to manage them, Mental Tennis is a fantastic read.

lilxjohnyy
04-02-2008, 08:03 PM
i actually play tennis better with a friend. if i play tennis with friend i dont get ****ed like i do when i play with parent

don_nguyen11490
04-02-2008, 10:00 PM
I watched a lot of videos of Sampras and watching how silent and stoic he is, it just sort of inspired me to do the same. Try it.

Service Ace
04-02-2008, 10:12 PM
Ask Youzhny

spiritdragon
04-02-2008, 10:24 PM
just take slow deep breaths. it'll help calm u down.

qtipkorea4u
04-03-2008, 01:21 AM
well , i don't really have any advice to you, but

i hate when my partner says to me something in the middle of serve....like today. i just had a really bad day and he was constantly acting like if he were my coach or something....

I just got ****ed off at him back and couldn't get any serve in ...WTF

well ya

Ross K
04-03-2008, 03:13 AM
- that is the question!...

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with getting ****ed off as such - it's more the extent to how far you let it effect you (and your game.) It certainly didn't stop the likes of guys with names like Safin and McEnroe winning the biggest trophies? And they regularly went beserk! Definitely though, for most of us - as is the case with booze, food, coffee, chocolate, the partner's family, or the films of Robin Williams - as long as it's practiced with a little moderation, it's fine! :) I'd go as far as to say that a little bit of venting your anger, blowing a gasket, having a little blow out, or whatever you want to call it, does you good!

Hoooowever, I have noticed some ppl kind of get into this habit of always moaning and cursing and generally making a whole number out of their frustration. These are the types who IMO tend to have a particular character flaw, and playing tennis seems to somehow bring this trait out... I refer you all of course to your classic neurotic personality. Anyway, neurotic types who exhibit these signs can be unpleasant to play against. And moreover, it does strike me as somehow self-defeating, immature and altogether uneccessary. I mean, if they were Marat or Johnny Mac, that would be kind of acceptable. But when it's just some park playing legend in his own lunchtime, what's the point? :roll:

Just my 2 pence. :wink:

Phil
04-03-2008, 03:20 AM
In doubles I find that a good, crisp backhand, delivered authoritatively to your partner's non-serving cheek, normally keeps those doubles partner emotions in check.

But seriously, you should never get mad at your partner. He's not TRYING to screw up. Encourage him, no matter how much of a chore it is. At the 3.5 level and below, I can recall partners who would actually say, when I was serving (and maybe having some serving problems), "C'mon Phil, just get it in...". I once stopped in mid-serve, walked over to my partner and told him to never say that to me again. It's a pet peeve of mine.

Ross K
04-03-2008, 03:30 AM
BTW, as regards yelling at your partner in dubs, it's definitely not the ('cough, cough') 'done thing'. Actually, this kind of incident is not tolerated at all in England. Such unacceptable displays of behaviour are greeted by mass disapproval, widespread scorn, derision and even persecution... in other words, JUST REFRAIN, KIDDO!

Djokovicfan4life
04-03-2008, 05:19 AM
I find that emulating Federer's on-court behavior help me out a lot. I try to have almost no reaction whatsoever except on a few good points. This works very well for me in singles anyway, in doubles I try to react a little just to show my partner that I DO care about the match.

No point in beating yourself up over a few missed shots, just shake it off and get the next one. :)

ionutzakis
04-03-2008, 06:22 AM
I feel your pain man, I had pretty serious anger issues in college, and I still deal with it when I compete. I wrote a blog article about attitudes going into playing tennis that may help you, I will post the link below.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend you buy "Mental Tennis" by Vic Braden. He's a psychologist and tennis coach, the book helped me a great deal in college. He discusses in depth where anger comes from, and ways of getting rid of it, along with tons of other mental huddles (nervousness etc). People get angry for different reasons. We all put different pressures and expectations on ourselves. Read the book and I guarantee it will help you.

Here's the link to the article on competitive attitudes, I'm a far cry from a psychological doctorate like Braden, but maybe it will help. Best of luck to you.

http://essentialtennis.blogspot.com/2008/02/attitudes-of-tennis.html

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Essential Tennis
04-03-2008, 07:54 AM
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

and how did you contribute to assist the OP? Please don't insult others trying to be helpful when you have nothing constructive to say yourself.

Essential Tennis
04-03-2008, 07:58 AM
[QUOTE=Phil;2217218]In doubles I find that a good, crisp backhand, delivered authoritatively to your partner's non-serving cheek, normally keeps those doubles partner emotions in check. [QUOTE]

haha......There's been many posts about being nothing but positive towards your doubles partner. Extremely good advice. There's nothing that will make a bad day worse like a partner who's getting down on you for messing up. It's much easier to perform well when you don't feel any pressure from your partner, most of us put enough pressure on ourselves as it is, heh.

I also agree with the above post that everybody has a different personality and emotions. Some (very few) people play better when they let off steam, as long as they're able to then regain composure and control. Almost all athletes at the top of their sport have the same demeanor though, calm cool and collected.