View Full Version : Can you be friends after being enemies???
01-12-2005, 11:51 AM
After a match of serious competition in which there is yelling, animosity, pain, joy, in your face celebrations etc. can you go out and have a beer with your friend (especially if you're the one who lost)? I've found that after a match like this (even against a friend) I don't want to talk to the guy too much. But the next day everything is as before. The same apparently works vice versa with some friends. What about you?
01-12-2005, 12:00 PM
For sure ! I have been playing tennis since 14 yr. with the same guy. We had many big fights you know "you're bleak" and cursing. It made us better friends kind of like brothers. Fighting is kind of like that the "glue" that bonds people you see their otherside. If someone really gets to you; you know right away and you seperate for good.
01-12-2005, 12:03 PM
i guess i can be friendly towards an enemy but not be a true 'friend'. it's tough to ignore all the animosity from the past and it makes you a little weary of how that person will act in the future.
01-12-2005, 12:40 PM
Only after you divorce them. And move as far as possible away from them.
01-12-2005, 12:41 PM
I tend to disagree with you jay. I think the tennis court is a battlefield and what happens in that arena cannot be held against someone... Minus being a completely poor sportsman. Further, I agree with Kirko in that sometimes fighting wars against someone can make you even closer. You see it sometime in other sports like boxing.
01-12-2005, 01:09 PM
It depends on a lot. Depends on how well I know the guy. Depends on how he beat me. Depends on his attitude. If it was my best bud and I was just outplayed, sure no problem. If I don't know the guy all that well, he hooked me every chance he got, and then was arrogant about it, I'd probably never play the guy again. Mix the scenarios--say he was my best bud but I thought he was either hooking me or I really played horrible, you fall in the middle, just like Nubarron said, I probably wouldn't want to have a beer right away w/ him, but let me go home, shower, and decompress, and everything will be fine. I don't really care that much against people I know, because my attachment to them goes beyond tennis. However if tennis is the basis for knowing the guy and he's a worm, forget it, he's worthless to me.
01-13-2005, 12:34 AM
^^ my rationale is that what happens on the tennis court is an extension of their personality. sure, it may not seem that way at first, but there will come a time when that side of their personality will show and you realize why you distance yourself from that person to begin with.
01-13-2005, 05:07 AM
When I was a kid, I got in a lot of fights and ended up friends with almost everybody I fought. Not so as an adult. Animosity and in your face celebrations directed toward me will earn one an enemy. And I have a way of exacting meaningful revenge that will hurt if you are in the same league as me.
01-13-2005, 08:02 AM
I don't enjoy playing against people who constantly yell, cuss, throw their racquets. In your face celebrations are also annoying. Occasional minor outbursts are ok but this is a fricken game not our livelyhood.
Since i play for fun, I simply choose not to play these players again. Occasionally I will be forced to play these guys again in a league or tourney situation. In that case I am all business on the court.
01-16-2005, 09:49 AM
It is difficult to become friends with someone who has become a real enemy. I am not sure that I would allow something that happens on the tennis court with a friend to make them my enemy.
If it came close to that, it would be time to put down the raquets and talk and have a little talk about the situation. If it could not be discussed and resolved, I would rather keep them as a friend and not play with them anymore.
A good friend and I had deep serious philisophical differences about double strategy. We are still good friends, but we never, ever play doubles together.
It can speak to the depth character of both of you if you are willing to throw away a friendship over a game.
01-16-2005, 06:08 PM
[QUOTE=Nubarron]After a match of serious competition in which there is yelling, animosity, pain, joy, in your face celebrations etc. can you go out and have a beer with your friend (especially if you're the one who lost)?QUOTE]
Absolutely not...I don't drink ;) But I could have a soda. Actually, I forget my matches with Power Game pretty quickly, since I lose most of the time. I've gotta fix my volleys- ya know, they really stink.
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