Can you conciously become more humble?

[montx]

Can you conciously become more humble? And does it matter at all if you try to improve your character? Just an abstract question out of curiosity.

[spaceman_spiff]

One of my favorite quotes:

"Don't be too humble. You're not that great."

[origmarm]

You can try eating more of the pie, that might help...

[albino smurf]

IMO being humble comes from exposure to experiences which make us humble, so yes.

[Sentinel]

One of my favorite quotes:

"Don't be too humble. You're not that great."
Very true.

OP, that's a hard one. Trying to be humble could lead to it being a practiced act. (Like, Ok what do i need to do to be humble, lets make a checklist of acts/habits).

However, if a person realizes he is vain or proud or conceited, and sincerely wishes to improve, that sincerity can lead to humility by reducing/dealing with the vanity/pride.

Saying "I am humble" or "I am humbler than him" sound quite suspicious to me.

I have seen big stars/actors being very (convincingly) humble in TV programs, or as comperes, but are known to be very conceited/egocentric in real life.

[VikingSamurai]

I just say, treat people the way you would like to be treated. Although express your opinion, even if it isn't asked for.

Kinda silly I know. But if people know where you are coming from, and can see you for "who" you are. Then all will be great in the world of the bigger picture.

My mother always said to me. Manners cost you nothing. So get off your arse on the bus for that old lady over there..

I think you know where I am coming from now ;)

[daddy]

I tend to think you can never wonder off that much from what you really are. If you are emotional and react to many things you simply need age and experience to keep you down. Essentialy no, in my mind you can not change the way you truly feel and act acordingly to it, but you can only change artificialy - behave by a pattern. Which is as bad as it gets.

The factor one needs for such a change is age as I said, most of the people come to realise themselves thru time and experience.

[Phil]

Can you conciously become more humble? And does it matter at all if you try to improve your character? Just an abstract question out of curiosity.
Try being unemployed for awhile...that will certainly put the humble into you. Or, you can become a Buddhist. They're pretty humble sorts, I heard.

[montx]

Yeah, i seem to understand, most people's hearts are not perfect and try to manufacture a humility, and sure we all want to be better people don't we?

I guess you can try to be more humble but u really can't in a way you got to be beaten into it or broken.

And what a sad thing that is.

[daddy]

Yeah, i seem to understand, most people's hearts are not perfect and try to manufacture a humility, and sure we all want to be better people don't we?

No we don't. I for one think its all about the acts and not about whatever it is in your head. I never do things which would harm others and try to be as passive/calm as possible when it comes to any action which will inevetably affect others. As for the way I think and everything else regarding myself ( not directly connected to others ), thats who I am.

I know that being tough spoken or arrogant or whatever else can also have a significant influence to others but that is the line for me, line where it becomes their problem, not mine.

[rommil]

People I think generally "behave" in a situation based on their perception about themselves, the people and the environment. If you are realistic and cognizant about these factors then usually you act accordingly. So my answer is yes.

[AmericanTemplar]

Apparently I'm the only person that voted "no."

I think that humility is a byproduct of ones recognition of how small they are in the grand scheme of things as well as an understanding of the fact that fortune plays just as much of a part, if not more, in determining whether or nor one will be successful in ones endeavors as do good choices and hard work. Since it is experience that leads people to these understandings rather than a conscious choice to believe one thing or another, I don't think that a person can make a conscious effort to be more humble.

[rommil]

^ I think in most cases these experiences are requisite for somebody to possess humility because you have to have that understanding of the situation yet some people too go through these experiences and either they block it out or not acknowledge it. I don't know if this is entirely a good example but 2 different kids raised in poverty and then become rich in their respective later lives could turn out to be so different, one could remain humble and the other one a jerk.

[daddy]

Apparently I'm the only person that voted "no."

I think that humility is a byproduct of ones recognition of how small they are in the grand scheme of things as well as an understanding of the fact that fortune plays just as much of a part, if not more, in determining whether or nor one will be successful in ones endeavors as do good choices and hard work. Since it is experience that leads people to these understandings rather than a conscious choice to believe one thing or another, I don't think that a person can make a conscious effort to be more humble.

I did not know there was a poll but Ive voted no also. Above I explained why, similarly to you ( time & experience are the factors in this one, not conscious ).

[AmericanTemplar]

^ I think in most cases these experiences are requisite for somebody to possess humility because you have to have that understanding of the situation yet some people too go through these experiences and either they block it out or not acknowledge it. I don't know if this is entirely a good example but 2 different kids raised in poverty and then become rich in their respective later lives could turn out to be so different, one could remain humble and the other one a jerk.

You are entirely right--experiences doesn't force one to come to a particular conclusion. The successful jerk who comes from nothing is only aware of the bad fortune that he was able to overcome, and is unaware of the good fortune that allowed him to do so.

[spikyblackhair]

Other people define us by our actions, not by what we think or feel internally, so if you make a conscious effort to act humbly, that is what you will "be" as far as everybody else is concerned. Even if you are secretly thinking, "I am so much better than everybody else", as long as you do a good job acting, they will think you are humble.

I think that after a while, your outer actions will rub off on your character and you will start becoming more humble internally/mentally, as well. I have done little "experiments" on my own character where I've forced myself to act different ways for long periods of time, and after a while it becomes second nature.

[AmericanTemplar]

Other people define us by our actions, not by what we think or feel internally, so if you make a conscious effort to act humbly, that is what you will "be" as far as everybody else is concerned. Even if you are secretly thinking, "I am so much better than everybody else", as long as you do a good job acting, they will think you are humble.

The question was "can you consciously become more humble," not "can you consciously make people think that that you're more humble," but you do make a good point with this reconciliation:

I think that after a while, your outer actions will rub off on your character and you will start becoming more humble internally/mentally, as well. I have done little "experiments" on my own character where I've forced myself to act different ways for long periods of time, and after a while it becomes second nature.

This is what many of us try to do with the mental aspect of tennis. :)

[Kobble]

I think it depends on your perception. I have met poor cocky people and humble rich. So, the idea of failing into submission doesn't hold. It is tough to account for people based on their actions. The only thing failure does sometimes is shut someone's big mouth (except the Williams').

[lethalfang]

Roughly speaking, how arrogant/humble you are is a function of how great you think you are. Ignorance breeds arrogance. Knowledge breeds humbleness.
Knowledge is acquired.

[fed_the_savior]

People can be proud of how much they know, and I've known dumb people that were humble because they knew they were dumb.

There are different kinds of humility, but I think it starts with the acknowledgment that there is something greater than oneself.

And yes, we can change our character by a choice. We are not helpless victims that simply must conform to bad character.


"Don't be too humble. You're not that great."

I think this reflects the fact that too much humility seems to intimidate people. They feel like if you are too humble, you are trying to be perfect and better than other people.

A truly humble person can acknowledge whatever their positive qualities are without thinking that those qualities make them superior.

[daddy]

Roughly speaking, how arrogant/humble you are is a function of how great you think you are. Ignorance breeds arrogance. Knowledge breeds humbleness.
Knowledge is acquired.

This is generalising. Someones character can be or just seem arrogant regardles of the real quality they posses. Just contributiing.

[Philsthrills]

One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.

-King Solomon




Great thread.

-Phil-

[lethalfang]

This is generalising. Someones character can be or just seem arrogant regardles of the real quality they posses. Just contributiing.

Hence, I highlighted "roughly" in "roughly speaking."

[Sentinel]

Other people define us by our actions, not by what we think or feel internally, so if you make a conscious effort to act humbly, that is what you will "be" as far as everybody else is concerned. Even if you are secretly thinking, "I am so much better than everybody else", as long as you do a good job acting, they will think you are humble.

True, spiky. We really don't know what is inside another person. However, the more we observe or interact with a person who behaves humbly we can see if the behavior is only public, or in all facets of his/her life.


I think that after a while, your outer actions will rub off on your character and you will start becoming more humble internally/mentally, as well. I have done little "experiments" on my own character where I've forced myself to act different ways for long periods of time, and after a while it becomes second nature.

I agree that if your intentions are sincere, and you really wish to improve (and not con others) then the intention will result in outer actions which will rub off on your inner nature, or reinforce it through positive feedback. However, do note that in your case, the intentions were true.