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View Full Version : Finding a hitting partner and being rejected!!!


monkeyisland90
01-08-2010, 04:12 PM
Anyone here serious competitors who play a lot but can't seem to find hitting partners because you seem to be too serious or outwardly seem like a jerk or selfish but you're really not like that... just too much game face and intensity?

I'm always wanting to hit up (cold, indoors, outdoors, hot weather, middle of streets..) but finding a partner seems bit hard ( i might have few that will hit up any dry weather... but always looking to add more...).. One time i played this guy and I was like lets hit up anytime, and i didn't really get any reply from him and seemed like he's not the type that's looking to play with new people.. I then see him at a indoor facility talking to other guys and heard him telling them "we should hit up" to them and.. felt really rejected like something's wrong with me.. I'm wondering if it's cause i don't really talk much and just want to play the game... I don't say anything rude, cheat, or try to bully my opponents.. just playing my game.. with not much socializing.... (it seems like when i talk more i lose my focus.. some people are multitaskers and can talk, play the game, probally even talk on cell phone while playing).. Anyhow, just wondering if any of you competitors always wants to play but seems like your not getting repeat hitters cause they don't click with you, don't like you or just feel your too intense..

OrangePower
01-08-2010, 04:22 PM
Anyone here serious competitors who play a lot but can't seem to find hitting partners because you seem to be too serious or outwardly seem like a jerk or selfish but you're really not like that... just too much game face and intensity?

I'm always wanting to hit up (cold, indoors, outdoors, hot weather, middle of streets..) but finding a partner seems bit hard ( i might have few that will hit up any dry weather... but always looking to add more...).. One time i played this guy and I was like lets hit up anytime, and i didn't really get any reply from him and seemed like he's not the type that's looking to play with new people.. I then see him at a indoor facility talking to other guys and heard him telling them "we should hit up" to them and.. felt really rejected like something's wrong with me.. I'm wondering if it's cause i don't really talk much and just want to play the game... I don't say anything rude, cheat, or try to bully my opponents.. just playing my game.. with not much socializing.... (it seems like when i talk more i lose my focus.. some people are multitaskers and can talk, play the game, probally even talk on cell phone while playing).. Anyhow, just wondering if any of you competitors always wants to play but seems like your not getting repeat hitters cause they don't click with you, don't like you or just feel your too intense..

If people don't want to hit with you it could be because of your intensity as you say, but also it could just be what your game is like when you are hitting with someone.

What I mean is, when you are hitting with someone, are you trying to focus on getting a high percentage of good quality shots back to them, or are you trying to go all out for winners, etc.

I know that when I look for hitting partners I don't care as much about how they are personality wise, but I do care about someone that I 'click' with on the court - that likes to hit the same way that I do. I like to start a hitting session with consistent rallying so that we can start grooving shots, and then after a while it's ok to start going for more aggressive shots but not until deep into a rally.

Anyway, different people might be looking for different things, so it's a good idea the first time you hit with someone to determine what their preferences are (ask if you need to). Because if they don't feel that they are getting what they want out of the hitting session then they have no reason to hit with you again.

apor
01-08-2010, 05:19 PM
I was playing down in key west a couple of weeks ago, and there was this one guy who badly wanted to play singles matches. kept asking everybody. sign me up!
so we started playing and he was shanking balls, going for winner off every shot, hard flat fast serve for first and second serve. awful to say the least. He got one game off me. It was the most boring and awful match I'd ever had, and I would never play this guy again if I had a choice.

I'm not saying you're like that guy, but perhaps the other fellow was just playing safe by not taking you up on your offer. I generally like to see other people hit before hitting with them. I need a certain quality in a partner. Perhaps if he sees you play, he will agree to hit with you. Or, the opposite can happen.

ALten1
01-08-2010, 06:55 PM
If I perceive someone to be a jerk, im not asking them to hit nor am I accepting an invitation to hit. Enough stress in life, don't need it while im trying to have some fun on "my time."

Do you interact with the people you are wanting to hit with off the court?

Are you the type that everything is cool as long as you're playing good but once things start going good for the other guy you get mad?

armsty
01-08-2010, 07:08 PM
I hit with a guy who was getting lessons from my coach for a bit, he's about 40, I'm 16. He gives me $15 for an hour and we play sets, tiebreaks, rally, whatever he wants. We work on the basis that he calls me at any time and if I'm free, we hit, if I'm not, that's no problem. I'd be about a 4.0, he'd be about a 2.5 ntpr. His cousin who is probably a 2, approached me to string his racquet, then to have a hit, the same idea, at some time. Haven't had a session with him yet but maybe tonight we will.

Just thought I'd pop that in, some people of a lower standard benefit immensely with hitting with a more solid player, and if you have to pay, some people won't charge that much... I have had a few other people approach me, and if I had the time I would have a go with them as well, could probably get myself a couple hours work a day off all the people combined, ah well :)

Cindysphinx
01-09-2010, 07:05 AM
If people don't want to hit with you it could be because of your intensity as you say, but also it could just be what your game is like when you are hitting with someone.

What I mean is, when you are hitting with someone, are you trying to focus on getting a high percentage of good quality shots back to them, or are you trying to go all out for winners, etc.

I know that when I look for hitting partners I don't care as much about how they are personality wise, but I do care about someone that I 'click' with on the court - that likes to hit the same way that I do. I like to start a hitting session with consistent rallying so that we can start grooving shots, and then after a while it's ok to start going for more aggressive shots but not until deep into a rally.

Anyway, different people might be looking for different things, so it's a good idea the first time you hit with someone to determine what their preferences are (ask if you need to). Because if they don't feel that they are getting what they want out of the hitting session then they have no reason to hit with you again.

+1. Assuming there is no mismatch in level, the thing that will discourage me from practicing with someone is if they don't know how to practice. If we spend a lot of time picking up balls because they are going for winners off of feeds or because they think "practice" means hitting away from their practice partner, then it isn't going to work.

I do one drill with a practice partner where I am at service line practicing getting depth on my volleys, and she is at baseline and is supposed to bounce every ball off of my shoes. If she starts hitting passing shots instead, I'm not going to get to practice getting depth on tricky volleys. So then I won't want to practice with that person.

Regarding "intensity," it's not a competitive situation, so I don't understand why you would be so intense as to make the situation less than friendly?

35ft6
01-09-2010, 07:31 PM
You might not be as good as them.

tenisyoda
01-09-2010, 10:31 PM
i totally agree with cindysphinx! but you shouldn't feel bad if he doesn't want to practice with you. he must have a reason and just respect it. try watching his practice sessions and see what he likes.

schap02
01-10-2010, 04:33 AM
If people don't want to hit with you it could be because of your intensity as you say, but also it could just be what your game is like when you are hitting with someone.

What I mean is, when you are hitting with someone, are you trying to focus on getting a high percentage of good quality shots back to them, or are you trying to go all out for winners, etc.

I know that when I look for hitting partners I don't care as much about how they are personality wise, but I do care about someone that I 'click' with on the court - that likes to hit the same way that I do. I like to start a hitting session with consistent rallying so that we can start grooving shots, and then after a while it's ok to start going for more aggressive shots but not until deep into a rally.

Anyway, different people might be looking for different things, so it's a good idea the first time you hit with someone to determine what their preferences are (ask if you need to). Because if they don't feel that they are getting what they want out of the hitting session then they have no reason to hit with you again.


I've been thinking a lot about this recently...
Couple thoughts here: I totally agree that practice partners need to mesh well on the court. If I'm going to practice with someone I better get the work out that I need. Now that being said, it's not a perefect world - I have tons of different practice partners so I pretty much always know what I'm going to get. I will usually try to set up practice with the type of person I feel like practicing with...
Examples include (but not limited to)
Rockstar - this is the guy who goes for broke on every shot and you know he's trying to destroy you with every swing of the racquet - these are usually my last resort calls - I tend to warm-up with these people and go right into a couple practice sets.
Machine - This is the guy who can drill all day every day - he's a solid player but pretty predictable. Enjoys working on his Serve, Volley, strokes probably more than you do...Usually a 1st or 2nd choice for a partner
Allstar - This is the guy who has all the latest clothes and shoes off of TW - Always changing frames and strings and asking everyones opinions on shots and wanting to "try" your frame out....Says things like - man this new string job just isn''t for me...(Sure bud - that's why you're 1st serve % is in the 30th Percentile...) He doesn't usually get a call unless I am desperate
JOLLY - This is a new name as of this Fall - obviously bc of forum members - This is the guy who is committed to practicing all the time but never turns down the opp to play a set if it's against a worthy opponent - he can drill, play sets, serve/return - whatever you want to work on he is game as long as it's non-stop effort... This guy is usually the 1st call on every occasion...


I used to hit with anyone that showed up when I was desperate but now, it's just not worth my time hitting with scumbags...I'd rather run, work-out or practice serves....Plus I noticed the garbage guys that show up on occasion always seem to have negative things to say about better players ...he always hits it long, he has no life, he plays too much...BLAH BLAH BLAH...

ALten1
01-10-2010, 04:51 AM
Anyone here serious competitors who play a lot but can't seem to find hitting partners because you seem to be too serious or outwardly seem like a jerk or selfish but you're really not like that... just too much game face and intensity?

I'm always wanting to hit up (cold, indoors, outdoors, hot weather, middle of streets..) but finding a partner seems bit hard ( i might have few that will hit up any dry weather... but always looking to add more...).. One time i played this guy and I was like lets hit up anytime, and i didn't really get any reply from him and seemed like he's not the type that's looking to play with new people.. I then see him at a indoor facility talking to other guys and heard him telling them "we should hit up" to them and.. felt really rejected like something's wrong with me.. I'm wondering if it's cause i don't really talk much and just want to play the game... I don't say anything rude, cheat, or try to bully my opponents.. just playing my game.. with not much socializing.... (it seems like when i talk more i lose my focus.. some people are multitaskers and can talk, play the game, probally even talk on cell phone while playing).. Anyhow, just wondering if any of you competitors always wants to play but seems like your not getting repeat hitters cause they don't click with you, don't like you or just feel your too intense..


Perception is reality.

schap02
01-10-2010, 05:04 AM
Perception is reality.

Well said, well said

blue12
01-10-2010, 05:54 AM
A snobby tennis player? I can hardly believe it. Dude they're everywhere. I wouldn't worry about it. Personally I'll hit with just about anybody, I may not give them 2 hours if they are really bad. I'm a 5.0 - 5.5 and i can get something out of hitting with just about anybody.

Oh yeah, unless you are in Australia or the UK you might try saying "do you want to hit sometime," instead of "lets hit up anytime."

North
01-10-2010, 10:28 AM
I'm wondering if it's cause i don't really talk much and just want to play the game... I don't say anything rude, cheat, or try to bully my opponents.. just playing my game.. with not much socializing.... (it seems like when i talk more i lose my focus.. some people are multitaskers and can talk, play the game, probally even talk on cell phone while playing)..

I also find it extremely difficult to maintain focus if there is talking (a big reason I rarely play doubles) and am silent when I hit, pretty much ignoring the other player, except to call the score if we are playing points. I make a point of being very friendly and conversational after hitting because many people seem to equate silence with rudeness and there is little you can do about that - I guess it is just a cultural perception - even when that is absolutely not your intent. I sometimes mention, afterwards, that I know I'm non-communicative while hitting/playing but that's just me and I don't mean to be discourteous.

SuperDuy
01-10-2010, 11:37 AM
^ Same as me, I just get distracted when talking.

raiden031
01-11-2010, 06:51 AM
If I'm looking for a drill-hitting partner, then I'm looking for someone who hits cooperatively, and also can hit repeatable shots and is not going to be throwing junk balls at me. They could be rated less than me, as long as they can hit the ball cooperatively its fine.

If I'm looking for practice sets, I'd prefer someone who is about the same level or higher, because I want someone to challenge me. Doesn't matter if they are a pusher or junkballer as long as they are a challenge to beat.

I think there's one guy who is better than me that I have no interest in playing again (if the opportunity were to arise) because he completely flips out when his opponent has a lead or wins a set. I don't feel like dealing with childish behavior like that.

Other than these, I don't really care about the social aspects of it because I'm not very social anyways. The less talking the better for me.

sureshs
01-11-2010, 06:54 AM
Try juump.com and tennisopolis.com. Leave your profile there, and if someone contacts you, chances are they are desperate and won't reject you.

schap02
01-12-2010, 05:06 AM
If I'm looking for a drill-hitting partner, then I'm looking for someone who hits cooperatively, and also can hit repeatable shots and is not going to be throwing junk balls at me. They could be rated less than me, as long as they can hit the ball cooperatively its fine.

If I'm looking for practice sets, I'd prefer someone who is about the same level or higher, because I want someone to challenge me. Doesn't matter if they are a pusher or junkballer as long as they are a challenge to beat.

I think there's one guy who is better than me that I have no interest in playing again (if the opportunity were to arise) because he completely flips out when his opponent has a lead or wins a set. I don't feel like dealing with childish behavior like that.

Other than these, I don't really care about the social aspects of it because I'm not very social anyways. The less talking the better for me.

Raiden - I'm in HoCo
Tutors9@verizon.net

TennisDawg
01-12-2010, 02:37 PM
Anyone here serious competitors who play a lot but can't seem to find hitting partners because you seem to be too serious or outwardly seem like a jerk or selfish but you're really not like that... just too much game face and intensity?

I'm always wanting to hit up (cold, indoors, outdoors, hot weather, middle of streets..) but finding a partner seems bit hard ( i might have few that will hit up any dry weather... but always looking to add more...).. One time i played this guy and I was like lets hit up anytime, and i didn't really get any reply from him and seemed like he's not the type that's looking to play with new people.. I then see him at a indoor facility talking to other guys and heard him telling them "we should hit up" to them and.. felt really rejected like something's wrong with me.. I'm wondering if it's cause i don't really talk much and just want to play the game... I don't say anything rude, cheat, or try to bully my opponents.. just playing my game.. with not much socializing.... (it seems like when i talk more i lose my focus.. some people are multitaskers and can talk, play the game, probally even talk on cell phone while playing).. Anyhow, just wondering if any of you competitors always wants to play but seems like your not getting repeat hitters cause they don't click with you, don't like you or just feel your too intense..

Hey, first off don't immediately blame yourself and self yourself short. You do realize you are playing a sport that has some of the most fickle/flaky people on the planet. I have played many other sports and it's not nearly as complicated as tennis. Just go to any YMCA and your can get into a quick pickup game of basketball or volleyball, no strings attached, no baggage. You are dealing with several types of players, the snobs with their brand name clothes and racquets and elite tennis club, the ex-college player that makes a subtle remark about his days as varsity on his college team, the Rafa wannabees that are so fearful you might burst the bubble, the cliches types that only play with their own, you name it. It could be any of these hangups or something else. Forge the idea that you will long list of partners that you can just speed dial and get a match. That kind of wishfull thinking will lead to frustration and dissapointment.

My suggestion is to just play tournaments, maybe once a month, if you are lucky someone will pick you up in a tennis league if so go for it. Just go down to your local city tennis hangout with a ball-hopper and hit serves and the backboard, try and find someone to hit with. I even have a ball machine that is well used, by now. If you meet someone exchange numbers, but let them call, if they don't call, forget about it. Not worth the time or bother to call them. I know this sounds anti-social, but I have been doing that for many years and it is less frustrating. I'd like to think of it as solo tennis with an occasional partner. You won't meet as many partners, but the ones you do meet are more sincere and reliable. Once you are acuainted with a sincere partner, you can probably contact them and get a match.

TennisDawg
01-12-2010, 03:13 PM
I hit with a guy who was getting lessons from my coach for a bit, he's about 40, I'm 16. He gives me $15 for an hour and we play sets, tiebreaks, rally, whatever he wants. We work on the basis that he calls me at any time and if I'm free, we hit, if I'm not, that's no problem. I'd be about a 4.0, he'd be about a 2.5 ntpr. His cousin who is probably a 2, approached me to string his racquet, then to have a hit, the same idea, at some time. Haven't had a session with him yet but maybe tonight we will.

Just thought I'd pop that in, some people of a lower standard benefit immensely with hitting with a more solid player, and if you have to pay, some people won't charge that much... I have had a few other people approach me, and if I had the time I would have a go with them as well, could probably get myself a couple hours work a day off all the people combined, ah well :)

hehe, I realize you're just a kid, but you're 4.0 and charge someone to hit with you. What a crock, but hey more power to you, there's plenty of suckers around.

monkeyisland90
01-12-2010, 04:36 PM
I've been thinking a lot about this recently...
Couple thoughts here: I totally agree that practice partners need to mesh well on the court. If I'm going to practice with someone I better get the work out that I need. Now that being said, it's not a perefect world - I have tons of different practice partners so I pretty much always know what I'm going to get. I will usually try to set up practice with the type of person I feel like practicing with...
Examples include (but not limited to)
Rockstar - this is the guy who goes for broke on every shot and you know he's trying to destroy you with every swing of the racquet - these are usually my last resort calls - I tend to warm-up with these people and go right into a couple practice sets.
Machine - This is the guy who can drill all day every day - he's a solid player but pretty predictable. Enjoys working on his Serve, Volley, strokes probably more than you do...Usually a 1st or 2nd choice for a partner
Allstar - This is the guy who has all the latest clothes and shoes off of TW - Always changing frames and strings and asking everyones opinions on shots and wanting to "try" your frame out....Says things like - man this new string job just isn''t for me...(Sure bud - that's why you're 1st serve % is in the 30th Percentile...) He doesn't usually get a call unless I am desperate
JOLLY - This is a new name as of this Fall - obviously bc of forum members - This is the guy who is committed to practicing all the time but never turns down the opp to play a set if it's against a worthy opponent - he can drill, play sets, serve/return - whatever you want to work on he is game as long as it's non-stop effort... This guy is usually the 1st call on every occasion...


I used to hit with anyone that showed up when I was desperate but now, it's just not worth my time hitting with scumbags...I'd rather run, work-out or practice serves....Plus I noticed the garbage guys that show up on occasion always seem to have negative things to say about better players ...he always hits it long, he has no life, he plays too much...BLAH BLAH BLAH...

Hey I would definately think myself as the jolly person you are talking about and don't mind if someone wants to change ... I usually ask what people want to do... I"m wondering if my personality is to blame then.. Not much of a talker ... i guess you can say i'm shy with some awkard pauses... do you think people could care less about that and just like to hit instead? wondering why i can't seem to find regular hitting partners... Maybe weather has lot to do with it... im in seattle that rains a lot but summer and indoors is option so i'm puzzled... tried going to lot of local courts, far away courts, leagues, online sites.. and seattle there is a great site to find hitting partners ... tennistour.org and try finding sessions (which i do but can't seem to find rgulars.. maybe its cause i beat them always..lol)

ALten1
01-12-2010, 04:50 PM
Hey I would definately think myself as the jolly person you are talking about and don't mind if someone wants to change ... I usually ask what people want to do... I"m wondering if my personality is to blame then.. Not much of a talker ... i guess you can say i'm shy with some awkard pauses... do you think people could care less about that and just like to hit instead? wondering why i can't seem to find regular hitting partners... Maybe weather has lot to do with it... im in seattle that rains a lot but summer and indoors is option so i'm puzzled... tried going to lot of local courts, far away courts, leagues, online sites.. and seattle there is a great site to find hitting partners ... tennistour.org and try finding sessions (which i do but can't seem to find rgulars.. maybe its cause i beat them always..lol)


I was starting to feel you a little bit, then that last line coupled with your original post................dang

West Coast Ace
01-12-2010, 05:09 PM
OP, one thing you don't do is take advantage of obvious opportunities. In your visible profile and your posts you don't mention your playing level (and buried 'im in seattle') in the body of the 2nd post. So there could already be people who have read this and would be happy to hit with you - if they knew what your level was and that you were nearby.

+1 to ALten1 - I was feeling bad too and buying his story. But that comment makes me think he is into winning and not a pleasant hitting partner.

gameboy
01-12-2010, 08:09 PM
Ooo... now I am intrigued. I am in Seattle area, PM me and maybe I will hit with you. Maybe I can give you real personal advice :)