PDA

View Full Version : The Man Rules


SuperFly
06-26-2010, 06:18 PM
THE MAN RULES

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
(I must admit, it’s pretty good)
We always hear “THE RULES” From the female side….

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ” ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND IS a shape!

Amirite? :D

jigar
06-26-2010, 08:02 PM
That was really hilarious...
+100000000000000000000 to that..

jigar
06-26-2010, 08:04 PM
I am in shape. ROUND IS a shape!

Yeah right....

jigar
06-26-2010, 08:05 PM
Crying is blackmail.
Why does it soften men up though?

jigar
06-26-2010, 08:06 PM
You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
By far the most active rule in day to day life.

ProgressoR
06-27-2010, 12:43 PM
i like the directions one. My wife still doesnt get why i dont ask where things are in supermarkets. I normally find anything within the first 3 sweeps, if that fails I MIGHT consider asking someone, and even then all i want is an aisle number, please dont walk me over. Its hard enough to ask without being walked over to it.

Toxicmilk
06-27-2010, 12:51 PM
number 1 is pretty good.

SuperFly
06-27-2010, 03:45 PM
number 1 is pretty good.

I see what you did there.

Arrows
06-28-2010, 04:02 AM
I do have too many shoes...can't help it :)

beedlejuice22
06-28-2010, 05:21 AM
Oh god this is awesome. Soo many truths

SuperFly
06-28-2010, 07:49 AM
Guys feel free to copy-paste it somewhere else, or print it out and post it on the fridge. But make sure to run away after that.

albino smurf
06-28-2010, 08:00 AM
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

So true and yet, seemingly unacceptable every time.

jigar
07-01-2010, 11:56 AM
Guys feel free to copy-paste it somewhere else, or print it out and post it on the fridge. But make sure to run away after that.

This will surely help break up or get divorce process speed up.. :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted: