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Falloutjr
07-27-2010, 07:30 PM
Ok this is the story. I have this friend, me and her went to school this last year together this last year and had biology together. Well she was interested in me this year, I could tell, but I didn't give it much thought. Well, this summer, me and her have been hanging out more and one day we were hanging out and I was thinking "Man, she's going to college 3 hours away...maybe we should have some fun before she goes". So I kissed her and whenever we hang out we do fun stuff like that. But I think she really does still like me and if we go any further than we have, I would feel bad. I mean, I know that it wouldn't work because she's going so far away to go to school, but she talks about stuff like me coming to visit and "not hitting on any of the other college gals" and telling me "cuz. you should know why." when I asked her reasoning. I mean, I like the stuff we do, but I don't really like her in the same sense that she likes me and I feel like I'm leading her on because I think she really thinks she can make this kind of thing work when 1. I'm not interested and 2. I couldn't make it work with a girl that lived 20 minutes away last summer, the idea that things would work with her going to college full-time and being 3 hours away is just ludicrous and out of the question. I mean, she's really nice and she really does seem to have a genuine interest in me, which is more than I can say of most girls I've met to say the least. I feel a little bad. Any good advice guys?

ollinger
07-27-2010, 07:34 PM
Ever consider just being honest with her about your not wanting to start a relationship?

Falloutjr
07-27-2010, 07:43 PM
Ever consider just being honest with her about your not wanting to start a relationship?

Well I haven't actually said that, I dropped some subtle hints that I wasn't interested in that over the course of the year and I thought she caught on as we sat right next to each other 2 periods a day and it never really came up. But I guess she isn't aware that my advances weren't emotional.

GetBetterer
07-27-2010, 08:07 PM
Falloutjr:
I don't really like her in the same sense that she likes me and I feel like I'm leading her on because I think she really thinks she can make this kind of thing work when 1. I'm not interested and 2. I couldn't make it work with a girl that lived 20 minutes away last summer, the idea that things would work with her going to college full-time and being 3 hours away is just ludicrous and out of the question. I mean, she's really nice and she really does seem to have a genuine interest in me, which is more than I can say of most girls I've met to say the least. I feel a little bad.

So I kissed her and whenever we hang out we do fun stuff like that.

-_- You are leading her on... you're a jerk. Just kidding. Just...stop calling her? Break-ups are hard. I've stuck with my woman for years, although I do hit on other chicks I would never go any further. ^^ Perhaps I need some help too.

But yeah, you're leading her on.

Leelord337
07-27-2010, 08:46 PM
just take some time apart and see if you miss her. i bet if she started dating another guy you would suddenly fall in love with her. people want want they can't have. well anyway...if i were you i would write her a good luck card for college and make it impersonal and congratulatory. it would make it easier to move on.

Eph
07-27-2010, 09:25 PM
Have some summer fun. You're young. Before you know it, you'll have kids, a wife and debt.

Until then, enjoy your time.

OrangeOne
07-27-2010, 09:33 PM
People are saying to stop calling her? Write an impersonal message? Please.

If you don't like her enough, and if she's more invested than you are, you need to do the right thing and be honest with her. You think you are using her because you are....

LanEvo
07-27-2010, 10:41 PM
Be honest, stop leading her on. Best advice.

SoBad
07-27-2010, 10:46 PM
Just treat the situation as if she's not going away, because once she does go away the guys on campus will keep her busy.

ProgressoR
07-27-2010, 11:16 PM
I think we have all been there in a similar situation (unless we are really ugly), my advice is not to lead her on any more, its the tougher choice, the easy choice is to just leave things and hope she gets the message, but she hasnt so far. And it looks like you made the first move, so she probably thinks you like her that way.

Do the tough thing, the right thing, be honest.

LameTennisPlayer
07-28-2010, 01:12 AM
^^^ lol (unless we are really ugly)

how charming

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 04:56 AM
(unless we are really ugly)

I lol'd. Surely someone as smart as herself doesn't see anything in our future, maybe she just wants me to come down there some time to have some fun? ;) There's no way in hell she'd sit around in her dorm without ANY guys waiting for me to visit. Now that I think about it, I feel like I'm leading her on less and less. You guys are right, it's summer, what's wrong with a summer fling? Thanks for the advice, I don't feel like an asshat anymore :D

El Diablo
07-28-2010, 04:56 AM
voice mail, text message, email, snail mail, e-card, in person......there are simply so many ways to be honest with someone that it's inexcusable not to be. You can have a summer fling with someone who's ALSO looking for a summer fling, but to do so with someone you know wants more means you're scum, and I don't want you joining my profession (medicine) if you have so little integrity.

rnrockz1
07-28-2010, 06:05 AM
Dude. Get a life.

goran_ace
07-28-2010, 06:14 AM
Summer fun is what it is. Be young and just enjoy it while you can. You both would be better off not bringing a relationship to college. Thanksgiving is also known as 'Black Thursday' because that's when college kids come home for the first time freshman year and break up with their high school sweethearts because of the distance and all the new people they've met on campus.

decades
07-28-2010, 06:22 AM
I mean, just tell her that "you feel like your best relationship with her is platonic, and you don't want to ever jeopardize your relationship with her".

ProgressoR
07-28-2010, 06:23 AM
you might not be welcome in medicine, so either go into banking or law, where morals are career limiting.

ProgressoR
07-28-2010, 06:24 AM
I mean, just tell her that "you feel like your best relationship with her is platonic, and you don't want to ever jeopardize your relationship with her".

platonic, but still based around bedroom activity.

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 06:38 AM
you might not be welcome in medicine, so either go into banking or law, where morals are career limiting.

Why wouldn't I be welcome in medicine? I happen to think I would make a good doctor :l as long as I do my 8 years of school and residency like everyone else, I don't see what the problem would be.

ProgressoR
07-28-2010, 06:39 AM
El Diablo will inject you with slow killing poison if you dare to become a doctor.

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 06:42 AM
El Diablo will inject you with slow killing poison if you dare to become a doctor.

He dislikes me so much that he doesn't even have the decency to give me cyanide? And he says I have no integrity :D

babbette
07-28-2010, 06:54 AM
Am I the only that doesn't see 3 hours as being too far away?

Most girls romanticize everything. If you kiss them and "do fun stuff like that" they're going to hope for more, unless you're really upfront from the beginning and let them know where you stand.

3 hours doesn't really seem that far too me. It could be that she doesn't really click with anybody at her college, she likes to have fun with them but she looks forward to the time when she will get to talk to you and see you.

Talk to her to make sure she knows that you just want a summer fling. If you're too scared to tell her....tweet her:twisted:

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 07:09 AM
Am I the only that doesn't see 3 hours as being too far away?

Most girls romanticize everything. If you kiss them and "do fun stuff like that" they're going to hope for more, unless you're really upfront from the beginning and let them know where you stand.

3 hours doesn't really seem that far too me. It could be that she doesn't really click with anybody at her college, she likes to have fun with them but she looks forward to the time when she will get to talk to you and see you.

Talk to her to make sure she knows that you just want a summer fling. If you're too scared to tell her....tweet her:twisted:

Yeah, I think you're the only one that sees 3 hours as not too far away. Most girls I've met don't romanticize anything at all, really, so I can't agree with you on that one. Maybe its just a difference in our cultures. I can't speak on how well she gets on with people at her college, she's only brought it up a couple times. She said something about meeting 2 cool people down there and that she doesn't want a roommate but that's about it. It's not that I'm scared to say that, I'm just not ready yet. Maybe we can keep going then site distance as a way to end things when she leaves? :twisted:

GetBetterer
07-28-2010, 10:42 AM
babbette:
Am I the only that doesn't see 3 hours as being too far away?

True love needs no bounds...not even those of time. Hence the fact I always have time for Tennis. :D

Steady Eddy
07-28-2010, 11:40 AM
Have some summer fun. You're young. Before you know it, you'll have kids, a wife and debt.

Until then, enjoy your time.
That doesn't have to be. Take control. Get a vasectomy. I'm convinced that humans aren't happy in nuclear families and that's why there's so much anger in the world. That's also why there's so much insistence on how important family is: if that were so, people wouldn't feel the need to insist on it so much.

ProgressoR
07-28-2010, 12:30 PM
^^^ what? vasectomy? and have no little dudes with that cool hair? That is crazy talk dude

babbette
07-28-2010, 05:22 PM
20 signs that you should end it

Has your relationship run its course? Here's how to tell


Relationships, like hot summers, often look better from a distance. Just as you forget how draining a muggy day can feel, you also forget how soul-destroying and lonely a relationship can feel when it's not going well.

“So just end it,” right? It's never as simple as that. Most of us have experienced that dilemma of not knowing whether to walk away from a relationship. You think that you're being too picky, you worry that no-one else will love you this much, you don't want to hurt someone you care about, you fear regretting it and not being able to win them back. You've stayed in relationships for those reasons, right? Yep, so have we.

But these alone aren't good enough reasons to stay in a relationship that isn't working. Ending a relationship can be heartbreaking, even if you're dying to get away. The blissful future that you'd imagined when you first got together is now not going to happen. Thing is, is you're unhappy, that blissful future wasn't going to happen anyway.

If you’re experiencing a few of these 20 signs regularly, it may be time to move on. It will be difficult, but ultimately it'll be the right thing for you both. Life is too short (and your partner's life is too short) to waste valuable years on a pairing that's going nowhere.

1. You’re always craving time alone

It’d be weird and needy to want your partner by your side every minute of every day. It’s normal to look forward to some time alone. But if you’re craving me-time and wish that he or she wasn’t around, it's clear that your relationship is giving you more frustration than joy.

2. You don’t go out together any more

Even if you’re living together, you should never stop going on dates together. A successful relationship is based on more than sex and silently watching the telly together.

3. You prefer seeing your friends to seeing your partner

A good relationship involves socialising with and without your other half. Not wishing that you lived with your housemates again rather than your lover.

4. You’ve stopped having sex

Sex drive can dip for many reasons, including stress or medication. But if you just stop fancying your partner, and sex becomes a chore or stops altogether, listen to your alarm bells.

5. You’ve stopped touching each other

Touching isn’t just about sex, it’s about affection and togetherness. Casual touching, hugging and holding hands are the signs of a healthy relationship with two people who still fancy each other. If you flinch when he or she brushes against you, it really is time to get out.

6. You’ve stopped kissing

Passionate kissing is emotionally more intimate than sex, so it’s often the first thing to go when two people start drifting apart. If you want to kiss each other but just haven’t got round to it for a while, pucker up. If you don't enjoy it, see above.

7. They no longer make you laugh

Their witty lines once made tea came out of your nose. These days you just wish they’d shut up. Why are you still with them, pray tell?

8. You don’t chat

Chatting – about trivia, what’s in the news or what happened at work – is the bedrock of a good relationship. When you stop talking to each other about the little things, it’s a sign that you don’t see each other as friends any more.

9. You’re always nit-picking

If you’re constantly bothered by their coffee-slurping, their taste in pants and everything they do, you’re not in love, you're in a constant state of “argh”. That's not trivial: it's the kind of everyday stress that can damage your health.

10. They're always nit-picking

If your partner seems constantly irritated by you, it suggests that they're not happy or even comfortable around you. They may be wanting out, but haven’t the courage to bring up the subject. If he or she makes you feel that you can’t do anything right, do you really want to be around this person?

11. You do all the chores

Every long-term couple has disagreements about housework and other chores, but the squabbles usually end in vague equality or compromise. If your partner treats you like a doormat, show them the door.

12. You don’t care about your appearance

Love doesn’t mean letting yourself go. If you no longer care about whether he or she fancies you or not, it spells trouble for your sex life – and your relationship.

13. Red letter days are forgotten

Anniversaries, Valentine’s Day and so on may seem trivial, but a loving couple will acknowledge them in some way, even if it’s with a scribbled note saying “V-Day is rubbish, let’s spend it in bed.” Once you forget each other’s birthdays, your relationship is so far past its sell-by date that even a dog wouldn't eat it.

14. You’re doing all the giving (or all the getting)

Most relationships go through stages where one person is more emotionally and sexually generous than the other, but the imbalance should not be more or less permanent. Parasites don’t make good partners.

15. You’ve stopped liking yourself

A lover is not supposed to make you feel unloved, unattractive and unable to be yourself. If yours does, get out and stop letting them sap your spirit.

16. Your friends think they're bad for you

Your friends know you best, and they’ll say what they think if it’s for your benefit. If they think your partner is no good, listen. They’ll be there for you when he or she isn’t.

17. You compare them with other men or women

It’s natural to find other people attractive, but not to compare your lover unfavourably with every person who catches your eye.

18. You look up your exes

It’s fine to be friends with exes, and it shows maturity. But if you seek out and flirt with an ex, then you arrange to meet up with them, and find yourself wondering “what if…?”, your current relationship is doomed.

19. You wish they'd change

Once the rose-tinted early months have passed, mismatched personalities become more obvious. You can’t change your partner into someone better suited to you. Instead, find someone who’s already your perfect match.

20. You say “I love you” but don’t mean it

Do you feel a little knot of guilt whenever you say it, as though you’re lying? Do you only say it to make them shut up and go away? Then stop saying it, and start spending more time with someone you really love – starting with yourself.
Back to home
Maybe this isn't too much relating to your problem but it seemed lke a good place to post it
..................................

fed_the_savior
07-28-2010, 05:35 PM
Yeah, I think you're the only one that sees 3 hours as not too far away. Most girls I've met don't romanticize anything at all, really, so I can't agree with you on that one. Maybe its just a difference in our cultures. I can't speak on how well she gets on with people at her college, she's only brought it up a couple times. She said something about meeting 2 cool people down there and that she doesn't want a roommate but that's about it. It's not that I'm scared to say that, I'm just not ready yet. Maybe we can keep going then site distance as a way to end things when she leaves? :twisted:

Just admit you don't mind using her feelings for a potential booty call. Stop rationalizing.

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 05:53 PM
Just admit you don't mind using her feelings for a potential booty call. Stop rationalizing.

I'm not quite sure if I do or not yet, honestly. I think I want to though. That sounds worse out loud than it did in my head :???:

maverick66
07-28-2010, 06:01 PM
I'm not quite sure if I do or not yet, honestly. I think I want to though. That sounds worse out loud than it did in my head :???:

Your what 17,18 yo? Your not in love and you are being emotional over nothing. Tell her you dont want a relationship and move on. This isnt complicated. Stop being a wimp and deal with the fact that you are gonna hurt her feelings. Better to do it now then when she thinks there is something really there.

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 06:03 PM
Your what 17,18 yo? Your not in love and you are being emotional over nothing. Tell her you dont want a relationship and move on. This isnt complicated. Stop being a wimp and deal with the fact that you are gonna hurt her feelings. Better to do it now then when she thinks there is something really there.

You missed the issue completely. Take a lap.

maverick66
07-28-2010, 06:06 PM
You missed the issue completely. Take a lap.

I might have quoted the wrong thing but my post is right on for the original one. You need to be honest. My part about you not being in love was basically meant as a reason to just tell the truth. teens tend to make alot out of nothing thats why i put that in there. Just be honest now because she thinks you are a couple if she is saying dont flirt with other girls.

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 06:13 PM
I might have quoted the wrong thing but my post is right on for the original one. You need to be honest. My part about you not being in love was basically meant as a reason to just tell the truth. teens tend to make alot out of nothing thats why i put that in there. Just be honest now because she thinks you are a couple if she is saying dont flirt with other girls.

The point of this topic was that I wasn't sure if I should be honest and sacrifice something I want to spare the feelings of someone else or if I should, for once in my life, be willing to enjoy MY life and get something I want, even if it comes at the expense of another. Right now, I think I want the latter.

Steady Eddy
07-28-2010, 06:19 PM
^^^ what? vasectomy? and have no little dudes with that cool hair? That is crazy talk dudeSee the dog in my avatar? He's got cool hair. And he's cheap. A kid costs $250,000. No big deal if you're a: movie star, world class athlete, or a Fortune 500 CEO, but if you have a regular salary or wage, how can you justify saying good-bye to that kind of money? One kid = $250,000, Two kids $500,000, Three kids $750,000...which means you'll retire with maybe one to two hundred thousand instead of the $2 million plus you really need.

Everyday when you come home from work, the dog is so glad to see you. Do kids always act like that?

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 06:23 PM
See the dog in my avatar? He's got cool hair. And he's cheap. A kid costs $250,000. No big deal if you're a: movie star, world class athlete, or a Fortune 500 CEO, but if you have a regular salary or wage, how can you justify saying good-bye to that kind of money? One kid = $250,000, Two kids $500,000, Three kids $750,000...which means you'll retire with maybe one to two hundred thousand instead of the $2 million plus you really need.

Everyday when you come home from work, the dog is so glad to see you. Do kids always act like that?

That's because kids can feed themselves, empty their body of waste by themselves, and entertain themselves. If it weren't for the microwave, television, and indoor plumbing, your kids would idolize you.

Steady Eddy
07-28-2010, 06:29 PM
That's because kids can feed themselves, empty their body of waste by themselves, and entertain themselves. If it weren't for the microwave, television, and indoor plumbing, your kids would idolize you.So that's why modern people don't have kids as much any more? It's b/c of the: microwave, tv, and toilet? Now I know. :)

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 06:37 PM
So that's why modern people don't have kids as much any more? It's b/c of the: microwave, tv, and toilet? Now I know. :)

Note how the average family size decreased as the Industrial Revolution occurred. You've just been edumacated.

TheOneHander
07-28-2010, 06:44 PM
The point of this topic was that I wasn't sure if I should be honest and sacrifice something I want to spare the feelings of someone else or if I should, for once in my life, be willing to enjoy MY life and get something I want, even if it comes at the expense of another. Right now, I think I want the latter.

C'mon now, listen to yourself :)

You just asked yourself if you wanted to be honest and if you wanted to potentially harm someone else. The answer is pretty clear. ;)

You're putting yourself first-not this girl. You are using her for your own personal gratification. Yeah, it'll be fun and you'll have something you want, but what happens when you're through? Will you have the same friendly, good relationship you had before-will she still respect you even though you led her on? Or are you willing to totally disregard another person's feelings and emotions so you can have some fun?

I don't want to sound critical, but when this "fling" is all over, are you going to be able to look back and truthfullyay, "I'm happy with my decision and I did the right thing"?

Good luck-do whatever you feel best for this situation :)

SirGounder
07-28-2010, 06:51 PM
OP sounds a lot like me a few years back. You really should let her know how you feel. She'll most likely be ****ed but it's better to not lead her on. It's only summer fun if she knows it too. If she thinks it's more and then you let her know at the end of summer, she'll go crazy, train to become a navy seal/russian spy, and come back years later to wreak havoc on your life. Worst of all, you'd be a jerk. JK, dude there are plenty of girls who want summer flings so go find one of those and then cry about how you let the good one get away.

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 07:01 PM
OP sounds a lot like me a few years back. You really should let her know how you feel. She'll most likely be ****ed but it's better to not lead her on. It's only summer fun if she knows it too. If she thinks it's more and then you let her know at the end of summer, she'll go crazy, train to become a navy seal/russian spy, and come back years later to wreak havoc on your life. Worst of all, you'd be a jerk. JK, dude there are plenty of girls who want summer flings so go find one of those and then cry about how you let the good one get away.

This made me lol. Did any of you watch the first season of Hung? Where the girl paid Ray to hang out with her and go to all of her therapy with her and then dumped him for no reason when things were going good? It's sort of like that. I wanna go over to the dark side for a while, if that makes any sense.

TnTBigman
07-28-2010, 07:12 PM
It's obvious she not attractive enough for you to want more than "fun". The experience is good. Hope you dont catch nothing in the process.

GetBetterer
07-28-2010, 07:26 PM
maverick66:
Your what 17,18 yo? Your not in love and you are being emotional over nothing. Tell her you dont want a relationship and move on. This isnt complicated. Stop being a wimp and deal with the fact that you are gonna hurt her feelings. Better to do it now then when she thinks there is something really there.

Girls try to find "true love" as seniors in high school, the other years they're testing men.

You made your first kiss.

Falloutjr:
The point of this topic was that I wasn't sure if I should be honest and sacrifice something I want to spare the feelings of someone else or if I should, for once in my life, be willing to enjoy MY life and get something I want, even if it comes at the expense of another. Right now, I think I want the latter.

Bail out now before you go deeper into the rabbit hole. Tell her the truth.

I do recommend getting some booty before you bail out though, but you have to do it fast. It's like a cave collapsing in on you, if you don't get out in time, you're trapped in the cave of marriage forever!!!

Falloutjr
07-28-2010, 07:40 PM
maverick66:


Girls try to find "true love" as seniors in high school, the other years they're testing men.

You made your first kiss.

Falloutjr:


Bail out now before you go deeper into the rabbit hole. Tell her the truth.

I do recommend getting some booty before you bail out though, but you have to do it fast. It's like a cave collapsing in on you, if you don't get out in time, you're trapped in the cave of marriage forever!!!

Yeah her dad is leaving the country soon, that's when we plan on having the most fun ;) see, I don't even know why I feel bad about this anymore, she's the one making more moves than me now :twisted:

EDIT: That was her idea, not mine lol

OrangeOne
07-28-2010, 08:43 PM
The point of this topic was that I wasn't sure if I should be honest and sacrifice something I want to spare the feelings of someone else or if I should, for once in my life, be willing to enjoy MY life and get something I want, even if it comes at the expense of another. Right now, I think I want the latter.

It's sentences like this that make me genuinely hope karma exists.

Don't be a tool.

GetBetterer
07-28-2010, 09:31 PM
Falloutjr:
Yeah her dad is leaving the country soon, that's when we plan on having the most fun see, I don't even know why I feel bad about this anymore, she's the one making more moves than me now

He's turning to the dark side!!! WILSON! GET IN HERE AND KILL THAT BABOLAT!!!

On a serious note, listen to the angel shoulder.

rnrockz1
07-29-2010, 08:55 AM
Dude, please, tell her that you don't want to pursue a serious relationship with her, don't break her heart!

TheOneHander
07-29-2010, 10:37 AM
It's sentences like this that make me genuinely hope karma exists.

Yeeees, Witch Doctah say karma bite back hahd.

Bad juju happen if you use others for personal gain.

Witch Doctah come give you Kafka dreams.

maverick66
07-29-2010, 11:17 AM
It's sentences like this that make me genuinely hope karma exists.

Don't be a tool.

I misread his original post and though he actually gave a crap about the girl as a friend but after reading this thread I have decided he is a spoiled little brat.

I agree he is a tool and a few other names that I wont say. I hope she lights his balls on fire so he cant pollute the rest of the world.:)

r2473
07-29-2010, 01:02 PM
http://www.mefeedia.com/movie/10876016

Fifth Set
07-29-2010, 01:39 PM
I should, for once in my life, be willing to enjoy MY life and get something I want, even if it comes at the expense of another.

This is not a great attitude to have in a relationship. If you are acknowledging that furthering the relationship would be "at her expense," you are being selfish.

Even if you don't believe in karma, the golden rule, etc., at least have some basic sympathy for another human being.

Not every discussion with her has to become this deep "let's talk about our feelings" psychoanalysis, but even your own personal development would be enhanced by finding a way to have better communication with her about where it's all going.

Falloutjr
07-29-2010, 04:47 PM
I know some of you think I don't care about her but I do she's nice, and she's my friend. Maybe you guys are right, I don't need to come right out and say I don't wanna be with you, but just say that I don't think it'll work when she moves away and we should just enjoy the rest of the time we have this summer with each other? Is that a good way to put it?

EDIT: I just wanted to do to someone else what had been done to me so many times if that makes sense. I wanted it to be about me for once because all the girls before this one were selfish and looked out for their own interests like I was trying to do. Guess the difference was I had to go against myself to do it, they do it because its who they are. I think life would be so much easier if I were like that :o me and her are goin to the park 2moro I guess ill bring it up then.

Fifth Set
07-30-2010, 06:30 AM
I know some of you think I don't care about her but I do she's nice, and she's my friend. Maybe you guys are right, I don't need to come right out and say I don't wanna be with you, but just say that I don't think it'll work when she moves away and we should just enjoy the rest of the time we have this summer with each other? Is that a good way to put it?

EDIT: I just wanted to do to someone else what had been done to me so many times if that makes sense. I wanted it to be about me for once because all the girls before this one were selfish and looked out for their own interests like I was trying to do. Guess the difference was I had to go against myself to do it, they do it because its who they are. I think life would be so much easier if I were like that :o me and her are goin to the park 2moro I guess ill bring it up then.

Yes, something like that seems a reasonable way to present it. Focus on the fact that you care about her and want to maintain the friendship after she leaves town, which drives your desire to be honest.

You might be pleasantly surprised that she is just fine with that. Not every girl is looking for an engagement ring in her teens, but all women love a good listener and communicator.

Falloutjr
07-31-2010, 04:16 PM
Yes, something like that seems a reasonable way to present it. Focus on the fact that you care about her and want to maintain the friendship after she leaves town, which drives your desire to be honest.

You might be pleasantly surprised that she is just fine with that. Not every girl is looking for an engagement ring in her teens, but all women love a good listener and communicator.

Yeah...well, I kinda goofed up. Me and her went to the park yesterday, and I won't go into detail, but I may have lost my focus and it may have slipped my mind to say what I said I was gonna say. It all sounded good in theory, but it didn't happen. I know this is wrong, but it's hard to help myself :oops:.

Falloutjr
07-31-2010, 04:20 PM
http://www.mefeedia.com/movie/10876016

YES! I just noticed this link, and this is the same kinda situation I'm in. Though I've always been one to give in to the devil shoulder :-?

Bud
07-31-2010, 04:32 PM
Yeah...well, I kinda goofed up. Me and her went to the park yesterday, and I won't go into detail, but I may have lost my focus and it may have slipped my mind to say what I said I was gonna say. It all sounded good in theory, but it didn't happen. I know this is wrong, but it's hard to help myself :oops:.

Send her a link to this thread :grin:

Ultra2HolyGrail
07-31-2010, 04:35 PM
You have hanged out with this girl and kissed her and now do not know what to do? LOL... Maybe start passing her notes LOL.

Falloutjr
07-31-2010, 04:40 PM
You have hanged out with this girl and kissed her and now do not know what to do? LOL... Maybe start passing her notes LOL.

I know what to do, and we're very close to that. I'm just not sure if I would feel okay about doing that before telling her I have no intention of dating her. Read the rest of the thread since you obviously don't know what's going on :rolleyes:

Bud
07-31-2010, 04:44 PM
I know what to do, and we're very close to that. I'm just not sure if I would feel okay about doing that before telling her I have no intention of dating her. Read the rest of the thread since you obviously don't know what's going on :rolleyes:

The question is this... Do you want to feel like a scumbag or not?

Ultra2HolyGrail
07-31-2010, 04:45 PM
I did read it. You hung out with her, kissed her, but now feel bad you dont want to just turn to the dark side and then bail?

So what advice are you looking for exactly?

fed_the_savior
07-31-2010, 04:53 PM
Just say, 'look imma be up front with you, it's cool to be fack buddies but lets not see this as something serious. cool?' Should go just fine.

Tina
07-31-2010, 04:54 PM
^^^

It seems me that I am not the only one has some issues with guys. Guys need some advice as well?

My advice is "go with the flow" but I disagree with an idea of dating several girls at the same time.

Take me as an example, I don't involve in any triangle relationship to avoid troubles.

Ultra2HolyGrail
07-31-2010, 04:57 PM
Just say, 'look imma be up front with you, it's cool to be fack buddies but lets not see this as something serious. cool?' Should go just fine.

Hehe. Playa fallout knows that won't work.

Falloutjr
09-02-2010, 06:07 PM
HELP! I need some advice FAST. Me and her had the conversation that it wouldn't work because she was moving away to go to school and that went well then we...you know. She left for school today and she just texted me telling me she loved me IDK if she means as a friend or if its legit or wtf to tell her.

EDIT: I didn't want her to think I was freakin out so I just texted back "Lol I love you too. Youre an awesome friend" I think it's good cuz I said I love you back but made a note that I'm not in love with her. This could suck.

Eph
09-02-2010, 06:25 PM
HELP! I need some advice FAST. Me and her had the conversation that it wouldn't work because she was moving away to go to school and that went well then we...you know. She left for school today and she just texted me telling me she loved me IDK if she means as a friend or if its legit or wtf to tell her.

EDIT: I didn't want her to think I was freakin out so I just texted back "Lol I love you too. Youre an awesome friend" I think it's good cuz I said I love you back but made a note that I'm not in love with her. This could suck.

Didn't read the whole thread, forgot what I originally said. Seems she is fuqking with you.

Falloutjr
09-02-2010, 06:28 PM
Didn't read the whole thread, forgot what I originally said. Seems she is fuqking with you.

No, she hasn't even texted me back in like 20 minutes. I think she's legit upset about it. I feel like a jerk

fed_the_savior
09-02-2010, 06:33 PM
I just wanted to point out that just because you feel people used you doesn't some how give you license to use other people. That part kinda bothered me. But then again some people seem to want to be used, which makes it kinda hard to say. Anyway, just text her something like, "Our love will be forever entwined and never die." Then hope she forgets about you when you're away.

Falloutjr
09-02-2010, 07:14 PM
I just wanted to point out that just because you feel people used you doesn't some how give you license to use other people. That part kinda bothered me. But then again some people seem to want to be used, which makes it kinda hard to say. Anyway, just text her something like, "Our love will be forever entwined and never die." Then hope she forgets about you when you're away.

Well, I was honest about it, I didn't REALLY use her, and I'm glad I wasn't dishonest about how I felt 'cause that would have made this a whole lot worse. I could have probably just not done any of this, but other than that result, I think I handled the situation about as well as I could have. She seemed a bit disappointed when she texted me, but she's not mad at me and we'll probably still be friends after this :D

fed_the_savior
09-02-2010, 07:17 PM
Well, I was honest about it, I didn't REALLY use her, and I'm glad I wasn't dishonest about how I felt 'cause that would have made this a whole lot worse. I could have probably just not done any of this, but other than that result, I think I handled the situation about as well as I could have. She seemed a bit disappointed when she texted me, but she's not mad at me and we'll probably still be friends after this :D

Well, glad that worked out. Drama over.

Falloutjr
09-02-2010, 07:27 PM
Well, glad that worked out. Drama over.

Sure appears that way. Guess I have a heart after all. Not exactly what is to be learned from all this though. That honesty is the best policy, perhaps? Let's go with that :D