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Fandango
08-11-2010, 01:48 PM
Hi, I don't know where to start. I would tell this to a counselor, therapist, or a parent but I currently don't have any of those in my life. I don't really have a close friend to pour my heart out, but knowing the maturity level and mental fortitude of most of the members on this board, I decided to confide on this thread. Its moments like these where I wish I had a God figure to draw support from and receive guidance but I guess I have to start somewhere. I want to make it clear that this isn't a sob story. I'm in a tough place and just need guidance.

I'm just going to tell you guys my current situation.

But here is my background information first:

I turned 19 on July 18th of this year. 6 days later, I watched the movie Inception. During the previews for the movie I decided that I wanted to become an actor. I don't know how exactly that thought formulated in my head. I'm taking acting classes currently in the Jacksonville Community Theatre and truly enjoy it.

After going home, I researched all the major stars-Tom Cruise (frist film at 19), Orlando Bloom (first show 17), Brad Pitt (first movie 23/24), John Krasinski (first movie 20), Zac Efron (first movie 15)etc.

And noticed that most of them started a lot younger than me. I went to my bedroom and buried my head into a pillow, wishing I'd of started sooner. I was looking back at the time I was 15 and had a mental breakdown because I had become very nostalgic-moving from place, to place, missing friends and the lifestyle I'd have, and just the fact that we are all getting older, universally and all reaching one point-death. I thought more about my younger brother and how I thought he was very cute and innocent; and wished he could stay like that forever and not change. I thought about how 15 sounded like such a huge number and I wished I could just at least freeze time so I wouldn't have to face the challenges and realities of adulthood. I don't know how crazy I was, but I remember being extremely sad, talking to my guidance counselors and teachers from my freshman year about it. The lowlight of that year was talking to my guidance counselor about freezing time so everyday was the same exact day so I wouldn't have to get older. Part of it, I guess was seeing people like my grandfather, father, celebrities, tennis players and other older people who I looked up to so much, feeling inadequate and not ready to become what I saw, nowing full well that adulthood was inevitable. So I kinda panicked. In front of the whole school and then I remember once, randomly going up to people in the grocery store asking about their opinions on growing up.

One of things I find hard, even to this day is accepting that someone started something earlier than me. I remember watching the commencement speeches in 2006 when I was 15 and one of the US Open courts was named in Billie Jean King's honor, I think. That day was dark too, for me at least. All the great players of yesteryear were giving their thoughts and John McEnroe gave was given the mic and he recalled a story about when he was 14. I really freaked out then and then I started to cry. I was thinking about how I felt sorry for myself for turning 15 and getting an epiphany and not getting it at 14.

I don't know how to explain, but I felt the extremes of compunction. Why did I feel that way? I didn't murder anyone, didn't do anything to hurt anyone, or anything to harm someone sexually. I kinda blocked out those feelings because my family was getting worried that I was suicidal, and the thoughts slowly faded away. 4 years later, I'm 19 now and have recently been inspired to act. I just wish I knew this at 15, because thats when I wish I started to get into acting. Is there anyway I can be at peace with myself? All I want to know is why I didn't have the drive to act when I was 15. I guess I wish I had a sense of myself in the past and am now even nostalgic for the things I've seen and experienced when I was 15. I'm very confused now, I just need help...

Is there anyone out there who at least understands what I'm saying?

I guess what if I had to summarize what I'm saying here is the major the points:

1. I recently discovered my passion for atcting at age (gulp) 19. I wish I developed this talent earlier like stars like Orlando Bloom, Robert Pattinson, etc. did. It really hurts me that I didn't start earlier, but I didn't. I can't accept that personally so I've been trying to tell myself that I started at 10 when I did a production of Hamlet as Hamlet in my elementary school in 5th grade. I know its pathetic. But if I had one wish, it would be to be to realize that I wish I wanted to be an actor at a younger age. As I write it, I realize how I sound like I have lost my marbles but thats just how I feel. Is there any way to stop regretting? I know the obvious answer is to stop and there is nothing I can do about it because it is in my past but I just can't get past it. Maybe something encouraging or someone who knows a lot about quantum physics and time could help as well...



2. I think one of things could be that I don't know my younger self, maybe I just want to know more about my younger self and what he thought about acting and it as a career. Maybe he thought of it as a career being liar. Its driving me crazy not knowing these kind of things. I don't know whats crazier: having that thought or the fact that it drives me crazy not knowing how I feel about it.
Just writing about my experiences of being 15 and my mental breakdown and how it related to me now makes me feel nostalgic for those days in 2006. Its these kind of things that I don't know how to deal with.

3. You have so many good memories, when you look back you wish you had them back but when you look back up you don't realize that realize the new ones you create. So, in a way I wish I had the old me back (15 years old, 4 years back) when I was looking back when I was 14.


4. It feels great having the support of family when I was having a hard time with life 4 years ago. I don't know how to move on. And even if I did go back to 15 I'm wishing I just knew one thing: that I wanted to be an actor.

5. Is there any help I can get? I can't see a counselor right now, I rereading this I know a lot of it is hard t understand. I just want to feel happy again, these thoughts are consuming me, eating away at everything I do. I've devoted the last two weeks of my life trying to figure it out. I know I made a lot of “ this probably makes me crazy” references, its just that I don't want to be labeled as one for the nuthouse because I think I'm pretty normal outside of this.

6. So any any help is greatly appreciated and even the smallest of advice is welcomed. I know seeing a counselor is highly recommended. I don't feel comfortable around when I talked to my guidance counselor back 4 years ago and school hasn't started yet so I don't have access to one. I feel like I'm always going to be in pursuit for something I can't have (e.g. age 15, 14, 13,12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 etc.)

I just need some kind thoughts.

JoelDali
08-11-2010, 02:00 PM
Read these words...and don't ever forget 'um.

Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie
When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb
When you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb
When yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace
In a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race
No matter what yer doing if you start givin' up
If the wine don't come to the top of yer cup
If the wind's got you sideways with with one hand holdin' on
And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone
And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it
And the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it
And yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long
And you start walkin' backwards though you know its wrong
And lonesome comes up as down goes the day
And tomorrow's mornin' seems so far away
And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin'
And yer rope is a-slidin' 'cause yer hands are a-drippin'
And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys
Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys
And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin'
And the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin'
And the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin'
And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin'
And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm
And to yourself you sometimes say
"I never knew it was gonna be this way
Why didn't they tell me the day I was born"
And you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat
And you're lookin' for somethin' you ain't quite found yet
And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air
And the whole world's a-watchin' with a window peek stare
And yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying
And yer heart feels sick like fish when they're fryin'
And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet
And you need it badly but it lays on the street
And yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat
And you think yer ears might a been hurt
Or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blindin' dirt
And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush
When you were faked out an' fooled white facing a four flush
And all the time you were holdin' three queens
And it's makin you mad, it's makin' you mean
Like in the middle of Life magazine
Bouncin' around a pinball machine
And there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying
That somebody someplace oughta be hearin'
But it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head
And it bothers you badly when your layin' in bed
And no matter how you try you just can't say it
And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it
And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head
And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead
And the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth
And his jaws start closin with you underneath
And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind
And you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign
And you say to yourself just what am I doin'
On this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin'
On this curve I'm hanging
On this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking
In this air I'm inhaling
Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard
Why am I walking, where am I running
What am I saying, what am I knowing
On this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin'
On this mandolin I'm strummin', in the song I'm singin'
In the tune I'm hummin', in the words I'm writin'
In the words that I'm thinkin'
In this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin'
Who am I helping, what am I breaking
What am I giving, what am I taking
But you try with your whole soul best
Never to think these thoughts and never to let
Them kind of thoughts gain ground
Or make yer heart pound
But then again you know why they're around
Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down
"Cause sometimes you hear'em when the night times comes creeping
And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping
And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin'
And you can't remember for the best of yer thinking
If that was you in the dream that was screaming
And you know that it's something special you're needin'
And you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin'
And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding
And you need something special
Yeah, you need something special all right
You need a fast flyin' train on a tornado track
To shoot you someplace and shoot you back
You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler
That's been banging and booming and blowing forever
That knows yer troubles a hundred times over
You need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race
That won't laugh at yer looks
Your voice or your face
And by any number of bets in the book
Will be rollin' long after the bubblegum craze
You need something to open up a new door
To show you something you seen before
But overlooked a hundred times or more
You need something to open your eyes
You need something to make it known
That it's you and no one else that owns
That spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting
That the world ain't got you beat
That it ain't got you licked
It can't get you crazy no matter how many
Times you might get kicked
You need something special all right
You need something special to give you hope
But hope's just a word
That maybe you said or maybe you heard
On some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve

But that's what you need man, and you need it bad
And yer trouble is you know it too good
"Cause you look an' you start getting the chills

"Cause you can't find it on a dollar bill
And it ain't on Macy's window sill
And it ain't on no rich kid's road map
And it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house
And it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ
And it ain't on that dimlit stage
With that half-wit comedian on it
Ranting and raving and taking yer money
And you thinks it's funny
No you can't find it in no night club or no yacht club
And it ain't in the seats of a supper club
And sure as hell you're bound to tell
That no matter how hard you rub
You just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub
No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you
And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you
And it ain't in no cardboard-box house
Or down any movie star's blouse
And you can't find it on the golf course
And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus
And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes
And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons
And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices
That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin'
Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin
Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow
Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry
When you can't even sense if they got any insides
These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows
No you'll not now or no other day
Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache¥
And inside it the people made of molasses
That every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses
And it ain't in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies
Who'd turn yuh in for a tenth of a penny
Who breathe and burp and bend and crack
And before you can count from one to ten
Do it all over again but this time behind yer back
My friend
The ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl
And play games with each other in their sand-box world
And you can't find it either in the no-talent fools
That run around gallant
And make all rules for the ones that got talent
And it ain't in the ones that ain't got any talent but think they do
And think they're foolin' you
The ones who jump on the wagon
Just for a while 'cause they know it's in style
To get their kicks, get out of it quick
And make all kinds of money and chicks
And you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat
Sayin', "Christ do I gotta be like that
Ain't there no one here that knows where I'm at
Ain't there no one here that knows how I feel
Good God Almighty
THAT STUFF AIN'T REAL"

No but that ain't yer game, it ain't even yer race
You can't hear yer name, you can't see yer face
You gotta look some other place
And where do you look for this hope that yer seekin'
Where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin'
Where do you look for this oil well gushin'
Where do you look for this candle that's glowin'
Where do you look for this hope that you know is there
And out there somewhere
And your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads
Your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows
Your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways
You can touch and twist
And turn two kinds of doorknobs
You can either go to the church of your choice
Or you can go to Brooklyn State Hospital
You'll find God in the church of your choice
You'll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital

And though it's only my opinion
I may be right or wrong
You'll find them both
In the Grand Canyon
At sundown

goran_ace
08-11-2010, 02:06 PM
In this life you can't just decide to be/do something just because you really want it. It takes talent/ability. It takes work. It takes commitment. It takes opportunity (and a little bit of luck). There's no reason you can't still become an actor, but realize that it won't just happen for you overnight.

That said, don't make your happiness absolutely depend upon a dream coming true. The key to happiness is to be thankful for what you have and not to obsess about things you don't.

I would suggest you see a therapist. Why can't you? In the alternative, maybe you could reach out and find a support group.

r2473
08-11-2010, 02:30 PM
I just need some kind thoughts.

Take classes.

If you get good enough, you can always work with the community theater.

If you want the "real" actor / actress experience, head out to hollywood and get a job as a waiter / waitress :(

ollinger
08-11-2010, 02:48 PM
Acting isn't tennis.....you haven't missed out if you don't achieve success (or at least start) by the end of your teen years. Having said that, let's say that the chance of any commercial success is extremely small, but lots of actors studied theatre in college and then thereafter, and didn't even begin to work in theatre until late 20s or 30s.

FloridaAG
08-11-2010, 02:51 PM
Plenty of very succesful actors started out far later than you did - keep your head up and do the best you can

Bud
08-11-2010, 02:55 PM
Acting isn't tennis.....you haven't missed out if you don't achieve success (or at least start) by the end of your teen years. Having said that, let's say that the chance of any commercial success is extremely small, but lots of actors studied theatre in college and then thereafter, and didn't even begin to work in theatre until late 20s or 30s.

This^^

Many actors start in their 30's, 40's and 50's :)

If it truly is a dream of yours and you're passionate about it... go for it. At 19, you are still very young.

- - - - -

To the OP, writing out your feelings/emotions like you did is very cathartic and will help you sort through them in the future.

VGP
08-11-2010, 03:01 PM
But every example you cite is a famous one. Is it acting that you seek or is it fame and renown?

SVP
08-11-2010, 03:03 PM
Read these words...and don't ever forget 'um.

Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie
When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb
When you think you're too old, too young, too smart or too dumb
When yer laggin' behind an' losin' yer pace
In a slow-motion crawl of life's busy race
No matter what yer doing if you start givin' up
If the wine don't come to the top of yer cup
If the wind's got you sideways with with one hand holdin' on
And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone
And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it
And the wood's easy findin' but yer lazy to fetch it
And yer sidewalk starts curlin' and the street gets too long
And you start walkin' backwards though you know its wrong
And lonesome comes up as down goes the day
And tomorrow's mornin' seems so far away
And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin'
And yer rope is a-slidin' 'cause yer hands are a-drippin'
And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys
Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys
And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe's a-pourin'
And the lightnin's a-flashing and the thunder's a-crashin'
And the windows are rattlin' and breakin' and the roof tops a-shakin'
And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin'
And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm
And to yourself you sometimes say
"I never knew it was gonna be this way
Why didn't they tell me the day I was born"
And you start gettin' chills and yer jumping from sweat
And you're lookin' for somethin' you ain't quite found yet
And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air
And the whole world's a-watchin' with a window peek stare
And yer good gal leaves and she's long gone a-flying
And yer heart feels sick like fish when they're fryin'
And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet
And you need it badly but it lays on the street
And yer bell's bangin' loudly but you can't hear its beat
And you think yer ears might a been hurt
Or yer eyes've turned filthy from the sight-blindin' dirt
And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush
When you were faked out an' fooled white facing a four flush
And all the time you were holdin' three queens
And it's makin you mad, it's makin' you mean
Like in the middle of Life magazine
Bouncin' around a pinball machine
And there's something on yer mind you wanna be saying
That somebody someplace oughta be hearin'
But it's trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head
And it bothers you badly when your layin' in bed
And no matter how you try you just can't say it
And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it
And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head
And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead
And the lion's mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth
And his jaws start closin with you underneath
And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind
And you wish you'd never taken that last detour sign
And you say to yourself just what am I doin'
On this road I'm walkin', on this trail I'm turnin'
On this curve I'm hanging
On this pathway I'm strolling, in the space I'm taking
In this air I'm inhaling
Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard
Why am I walking, where am I running
What am I saying, what am I knowing
On this guitar I'm playing, on this banjo I'm frailin'
On this mandolin I'm strummin', in the song I'm singin'
In the tune I'm hummin', in the words I'm writin'
In the words that I'm thinkin'
In this ocean of hours I'm all the time drinkin'
Who am I helping, what am I breaking
What am I giving, what am I taking
But you try with your whole soul best
Never to think these thoughts and never to let
Them kind of thoughts gain ground
Or make yer heart pound
But then again you know why they're around
Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down
"Cause sometimes you hear'em when the night times comes creeping
And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping
And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin'
And you can't remember for the best of yer thinking
If that was you in the dream that was screaming
And you know that it's something special you're needin'
And you know that there's no drug that'll do for the healin'
And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding
And you need something special
Yeah, you need something special all right
You need a fast flyin' train on a tornado track
To shoot you someplace and shoot you back
You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler
That's been banging and booming and blowing forever
That knows yer troubles a hundred times over
You need a Greyhound bus that don't bar no race
That won't laugh at yer looks
Your voice or your face
And by any number of bets in the book
Will be rollin' long after the bubblegum craze
You need something to open up a new door
To show you something you seen before
But overlooked a hundred times or more
You need something to open your eyes
You need something to make it known
That it's you and no one else that owns
That spot that yer standing, that space that you're sitting
That the world ain't got you beat
That it ain't got you licked
It can't get you crazy no matter how many
Times you might get kicked
You need something special all right
You need something special to give you hope
But hope's just a word
That maybe you said or maybe you heard
On some windy corner 'round a wide-angled curve

But that's what you need man, and you need it bad
And yer trouble is you know it too good
"Cause you look an' you start getting the chills

"Cause you can't find it on a dollar bill
And it ain't on Macy's window sill
And it ain't on no rich kid's road map
And it ain't in no fat kid's fraternity house
And it ain't made in no Hollywood wheat germ
And it ain't on that dimlit stage
With that half-wit comedian on it
Ranting and raving and taking yer money
And you thinks it's funny
No you can't find it in no night club or no yacht club
And it ain't in the seats of a supper club
And sure as hell you're bound to tell
That no matter how hard you rub
You just ain't a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub
No, and it ain't in the rumors people're tellin' you
And it ain't in the pimple-lotion people are sellin' you
And it ain't in no cardboard-box house
Or down any movie star's blouse
And you can't find it on the golf course
And Uncle Remus can't tell you and neither can Santa Claus
And it ain't in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes
And it ain't in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons
And it ain't in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices
That come knockin' and tappin' in Christmas wrappin'
Sayin' ain't I pretty and ain't I cute and look at my skin
Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow
Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry
When you can't even sense if they got any insides
These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows
No you'll not now or no other day
Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache¥
And inside it the people made of molasses
That every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses
And it ain't in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies
Who'd turn yuh in for a tenth of a penny
Who breathe and burp and bend and crack
And before you can count from one to ten
Do it all over again but this time behind yer back
My friend
The ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl
And play games with each other in their sand-box world
And you can't find it either in the no-talent fools
That run around gallant
And make all rules for the ones that got talent
And it ain't in the ones that ain't got any talent but think they do
And think they're foolin' you
The ones who jump on the wagon
Just for a while 'cause they know it's in style
To get their kicks, get out of it quick
And make all kinds of money and chicks
And you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat
Sayin', "Christ do I gotta be like that
Ain't there no one here that knows where I'm at
Ain't there no one here that knows how I feel
Good God Almighty
THAT STUFF AIN'T REAL"

No but that ain't yer game, it ain't even yer race
You can't hear yer name, you can't see yer face
You gotta look some other place
And where do you look for this hope that yer seekin'
Where do you look for this lamp that's a-burnin'
Where do you look for this oil well gushin'
Where do you look for this candle that's glowin'
Where do you look for this hope that you know is there
And out there somewhere
And your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads
Your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows
Your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways
You can touch and twist
And turn two kinds of doorknobs
You can either go to the church of your choice
Or you can go to Brooklyn State Hospital
You'll find God in the church of your choice
You'll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital

And though it's only my opinion
I may be right or wrong
You'll find them both
In the Grand Canyon
At sundown
And you posted this a mere 2 minutes after the original post! Amazing. You must've been saving it for a special occasion. I'm heading to the Grand Canyon.

r2473
08-11-2010, 03:45 PM
And you posted this a mere 2 minutes after the original post! Amazing. You must've been saving it for a special occasion. I'm heading to the Grand Canyon.

I think this is where someone inserts "epic time telling fail ftw"

......or something to that effect. I'm not really up on my pop-culture "zings".

Vyse
08-11-2010, 04:02 PM
In this life you can't just decide to be/do something just because you really want it. It takes talent/ability. It takes work. It takes commitment. It takes opportunity (and a little bit of luck). There's no reason you can't still become an actor, but realize that it won't just happen for you overnight.

That said, don't make your happiness absolutely depend upon a dream coming true. The key to happiness is to be thankful for what you have and not to obsess about things you don't.

I would suggest you see a therapist. Why can't you? In the alternative, maybe you could reach out and find a support group.

man you stole my avatar, someone else stole my thingy at the bottom. sad days these are. time to change i guess

goran_ace
08-12-2010, 06:55 AM
man you stole my avatar, someone else stole my thingy at the bottom. sad days these are. time to change i guess

Sorry, I didn't mean to steal yours - pure coincidence and mine is slightly different. It is a cool looking avatar though. If its a big deal to you you can keep yours and I'll change mine to something else.

HellBunni
08-12-2010, 08:02 AM
I think you should really relax a bit. Look at the positives of your life, what opportunities you have in front of you, not the could've would've of yesterday.

there is no reason to dive head first into something suddenly. You only wanted to be an actor recently. Think why you want to act. Is it to entertain? To be famous? etc...

max
08-12-2010, 09:58 AM
I don't know if the OP is still following this, but here's a radical idea: go to church.

No, seriously, go to church. Give it a shot.

It's not dumb (although there are plenty of unthinking believers, just as there are plenty of unthinking agnostics and atheists). In fact, tons of serious intellectuals believe in God (cf., Cosmos, Bios, Theos: Scientists Reflect on Science, God, and the Origins of the Universe, Life, and **** Sapiens by Henry Margenau and Roy A. Varghese).

I'd initially thought to smirk and write, here, "some teen angst." But thinking past this knee-jerk thought, I think you need a bit of the really bigger picture. Sounds like a spiritual matter to me (and humans do have a spiritual dimension: at your age you just may be beginning to feel it).

decades
08-12-2010, 10:12 AM
condense condense condense....this is a forum. give us the main points so we can help you.

onehandbh
08-12-2010, 10:39 AM
fandango,

Ask yourself WHY it is you want to be an actor? Also, when
you watch a movie, you are seeing the end product of
big budget, star-driven projects. What goes into being an
actor in the initial stages can be a bit less "exciting" unless
you really love it.

For every Tom Cruise, there are a thousands of Dennis
Woodrufs (look him up). Initially, you may be scrambling to
even get an agent and then once you get an agent you may
be scrambling just to get an audition at a one line part.
In film, the actor is mostly sitting around for long hours at
a time but must be ready to perform as soon as the next
setup is ready. They may only film a few pages a day and
the day could last 14+ hours. They also often shoot out
of sequence so you have to have mapped the life of
your character's story completely. For a lead like DeCaprio,
this entails storyboarding the entire movie for
weeks/months in advance.

I think whatever it is you choose as your profession, make
sure you really love it (ideally) and are passionate about it.
Make sure you're chasing the passion of it and not the
glamor of it.

Start reading some of the works by good writers such as
O'Neill, Chekov, Shakespeare, Moliere etc. Find
the hottest off-broadway plays and read them.
Try to get the lead in a good play. You'll learn a lot and see
if it's really something you want to do.

I won't even get into the economics of it...

onehandbh
08-12-2010, 10:54 AM
A few more playwrights to read:

John Patrick Stanley
Donald Marguiles
Neil LaBute
Nicholas Wright
August Wilson
Lanford Wilson
John Guare
Tennessee Williams
Nick Kazan
Shelagh Delaney
Patrick Marber
Harold Pinter

btw, the above list is just off the top of my head. I'm not
saying they are the best, but their works are all interesting
in some way.

Ross K
08-12-2010, 12:44 PM
Some of the issues mentioned and how the OP expresses himself makes me think that therapy should be the very first thing that is sought, and definitely not an acting career...

JoelDali - I have to say, that is one great post imo - nice one... :cool:

Vyse
08-12-2010, 03:02 PM
Sorry, I didn't mean to steal yours - pure coincidence and mine is slightly different. It is a cool looking avatar though. If its a big deal to you you can keep yours and I'll change mine to something else.

Nah don't worry about it, I was actually thinking of changing mine to someone a bit less popular anyway. I may not do it right away but I will pretty soon. And you got more posts than me anyway. haha
Yah, its a sweet pic of Roddick!!! :)

Fandango
08-13-2010, 06:24 PM
Yes, the OP is following his own thread.

I don't take life for granted and I enjoy the things in my life.

The first things that come to my mind are:

why didn't I ever think about becoming an actor?

I hate the fact that people that are older than me are younger than me,what should be the psychology for me to get over that? I asked my friend and he just said get over it. How do most people get over it?

I wanted to be an actor because quite honestly, normal life is boring. I want to be able to inspire people on a worldwide level and I just got a certain energy when I remember playing Hamlet and seeing the hundreds of faces that looked up to the stage, as they waited anxiously for each line to be delivered. Thats when I realized that actors had to power to transcend, from the dimension of fiction to real life. It seems ever so enticing-to be able to share a world with fellow actors/actresses and have the dreams of the imagination manifested into a reality, and then be in another one (a rather boring one.

But yeah, sometimes I wish my memory was a lot more crisper.
especially during that mental breakdown when I was 15 and I'm wondering why Inever thought about about/or if I thought about acting.

Ross K
08-13-2010, 11:54 PM
Yes, the OP is following his own thread.

I don't take life for granted and I enjoy the things in my life.

The first things that come to my mind are:

why didn't I ever think about becoming an actor?

I hate the fact that people that are older than me are younger than me,what should be the psychology for me to get over that? I asked my friend and he just said get over it. How do most people get over it?

I wanted to be an actor because quite honestly, normal life is boring. I want to be able to inspire people on a worldwide level and I just got a certain energy when I remember playing Hamlet and seeing the hundreds of faces that looked up to the stage, as they waited anxiously for each line to be delivered. Thats when I realized that actors had to power to transcend, from the dimension of fiction to real life. It seems ever so enticing-to be able to share a world with fellow actors/actresses and have the dreams of the imagination manifested into a reality, and then be in another one (a rather boring one.

But yeah, sometimes I wish my memory was a lot more crisper.
especially during that mental breakdown when I was 15 and I'm wondering why Inever thought about about/or if I thought about acting.

Listen Fan, you need proper, expert therapy. For you to have come out, in a public forum like this, and said the stuff you have, indicates that you are ready for this process. Don't waste your time and indeed your well-being chasing something you are not yet ready for - and indeed may come to view ultimately as not so earth shatteringly important anyhow. No need to be defensive, reactive, fearful. We all have/have had/will have major personal issues that cause huge conflict, disruption, upset, etc. This is a part of life. It is in seeing this - and that greater beckoning expanse of space beyond this, that is the key... yes... therapy...

R.

aceX
08-14-2010, 12:33 AM
Yes, the OP is following his own thread.

I don't take life for granted and I enjoy the things in my life.

The first things that come to my mind are:

why didn't I ever think about becoming an actor?

I hate the fact that people that are older than me are younger than me,what should be the psychology for me to get over that? I asked my friend and he just said get over it. How do most people get over it?

I wanted to be an actor because quite honestly, normal life is boring. I want to be able to inspire people on a worldwide level and I just got a certain energy when I remember playing Hamlet and seeing the hundreds of faces that looked up to the stage, as they waited anxiously for each line to be delivered. Thats when I realized that actors had to power to transcend, from the dimension of fiction to real life. It seems ever so enticing-to be able to share a world with fellow actors/actresses and have the dreams of the imagination manifested into a reality, and then be in another one (a rather boring one.

But yeah, sometimes I wish my memory was a lot more crisper.
especially during that mental breakdown when I was 15 and I'm wondering why Inever thought about about/or if I thought about acting.

Have you heard the expression "It's no use crying over spilled milk"?

That time is gone.

Your response to why you want to be an actor is encouraging because you didn't say "I want to be rich and famous like Tom Cruise".

If you really want to be an actor because it's what you love to do, you're lucky. I'm older than you and still not sure what I'm going to "do".

Here's what you do:
1. Get in contact with an acting school or drama club within 7 days and tell them that you want to get involved.
2. Post on this thread when you have.
3. If you don't get in contact with someone within 7 days you're a failure in life and will never amount to anything.

Falloutjr
08-14-2010, 04:19 AM
I don't know if the OP is still following this, but here's a radical idea: go to church.

No, seriously, go to church. Give it a shot.

It's not dumb (although there are plenty of unthinking believers, just as there are plenty of unthinking agnostics and atheists). In fact, tons of serious intellectuals believe in God (cf., Cosmos, Bios, Theos: Scientists Reflect on Science, God, and the Origins of the Universe, Life, and **** Sapiens by Henry Margenau and Roy A. Varghese).

I'd initially thought to smirk and write, here, "some teen angst." But thinking past this knee-jerk thought, I think you need a bit of the really bigger picture. Sounds like a spiritual matter to me (and humans do have a spiritual dimension: at your age you just may be beginning to feel it).

Yeah, there are, but in my experience, the majority of Christians are non-thinkers and the minority of atheists/agnostics are non-thinkers as thinking is one of the greatest contributors to that leads you to that conclusion.

Atheists are just realists who came to the conclusion that they did not believe in any religion and don't believe there are any deities in the universe. The underlying feeling is usually always there, but some of them once believed in religion then came to that because of enlightenment and, when forced to choose between science and faith, chose science because they can't believe in something that can't be proven exists. They make the sense call.

True agnostics are usually the strongest thinkers of all, because they realize that there could be a possible connection between science and faith. They are the only people who acknowledge they don't know everything as well (with most other groups, there is no middle ground). Is it possible that science will fail to date the big bang back far enough to disprove religion? Yes. Could there theoretically have been intelligent design that was allowed to evolve and develop on it's own? Yes. Is it inconceivable that God could have created the Periodic Table with their properties in mind? Yes. I mean, Christians make such an enormous deal out of the creation of the earth, though a huge margin of all matter is made up of about 4 elements (carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen, oxygen) and all matter throughout all of space is made up of the same uniform Periodic table, and all elements will seek their place in the universe when allowed to flow freely, so was the creation of the earth that spectacular? No, there are plenty of planets throughout space, though not many are so opportunistic to have ideal circumstances to support life. There is probably life on another planet out there, given that the most vital elements are the most common and how normal the sun is compared to other stars.

Then you come to the Christians, most of whom have no intellectual basis for their thought process, they simply attribute their faith to, well, faith, which is not a bad thing, but they will never convince strong intellectuals to have faith in something that cannot be as least somewhat respectable with facts. I actually spent a weekend on a Christian college not too long ago, and there were some very smart students there, especially the one whom I was sharing a dorm with, he had strong theories, although a poor understanding of biology. As smart as some are, the majority will always be uneducated compared to atheism and agnosticism just because the majority of the public considers themselves as a follower of some branch of the Christian religion. Without facts, they will never convince intellectuals to convert, and should act accordingly.

I'm sorry for hijacking your thread, I couldn't help myself.

Fandango
08-14-2010, 05:43 AM
post deleted.

Fandango
08-14-2010, 05:44 AM
Have you heard the expression "It's no use crying over spilled milk"?

That time is gone.

Your response to why you want to be an actor is encouraging because you didn't say "I want to be rich and famous like Tom Cruise".

If you really want to be an actor because it's what you love to do, you're lucky. I'm older than you and still not sure what I'm going to "do".

Here's what you do:
1. Get in contact with an acting school or drama club within 7 days and tell them that you want to get involved.
2. Post on this thread when you have.
3. If you don't get in contact with someone within 7 days you're a failure in life and will never amount to anything.


I've already done that. I contacted the Jacksonville Community Theatre and I'm set to take acting acting classes from August 22nd to late september. After the class is done, I aim to get involved in the the plays etc.

max
08-14-2010, 09:13 AM
OP: I think it's good to pause and remember that you're a teenager, and the teen years usually contain a great deal of emotional extremes. Don't fret so much: you have plenty of time.

max
08-14-2010, 09:17 AM
for the atheist above, I have a few comments:

--there are unreflective Christians, but trust me, there, too, are unreflective atheists. I think it's important for intelligent people to take man's spiritual dimension seriously, since it so clearly does exist. What do you make of it?

--I have seen, on these boards and others, and in general public conversation, that many atheists have a great trust on Science, but don't really understand the ins and outs of the scientific method, or its theoretical loopholes. It makes me wish more people had a good old-fashioned, Renaissance Man kind of education: we need more history, politics, economics, civics in schools. No, max isn't being outlandish here: remember the position of the scientists in the early 20th century when first confronted with Einstein. Heck, you can't beat that old Thomas Kuhn stuff.

--lotsa people are uneducated, and plenty of people with degrees have pigeon-hole degrees which make them generally undereducated. And of course, many people just don't care at all: consider how few books the average suburbanite has in his house. Consider the content of television shows.

--I do think you might ask the library to check out that Cosmos, Bios, Theos book. You'd like it: I don't think these scientists repeat platitudes or give you stuff you already know.

ramseszerg
08-14-2010, 03:14 PM
max: religious people aren't better equipped to handle personal issues. Nor are they more spiritual.

To the OP: focus on how you're going to still be successful as an actor, not on why you can't now be an actor. I have regrets too, but I don't focus on them, I just consciously choose not to because it wouldn't be productive. (edit: it also wouldn't be healthy because it would be depressing) Learn the lesson and move on. The dominant thought in my head is what I need to do next to get closer to my goal, not why I screwed up 2 years ago and how that's going to prevent me from ever reaching my goal.

Also, acting is not a very practical field. If you choose this field, you accept this. If you fail, it's not because you did not start earlier, it's because of this.

aceX
08-14-2010, 04:01 PM
I've already done that. I contacted the Jacksonville Community Theatre and I'm set to take acting acting classes from August 22nd to late september. After the class is done, I aim to get involved in the the plays etc.


Excellent. You're on the road to reaching your dreams.

LanEvo
08-14-2010, 05:16 PM
But every example you cite is a famous one. Is it acting that you seek or is it fame and renown?

Very well asked/said.

Dedans Penthouse
08-14-2010, 05:49 PM
Hi, I don't know where to start. I would tell this to a counselor, therapist, or a parent but I currently don't have any of those in my life. I decided to confide on this thread... I decided that I wanted to become an actor. .....14, 13,12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0 etc.)

I just need some kind thoughts.

1. Know your lines.
2. Don't bump into the furniture.
-Spencer Tracy

"14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3" is up to you.

Go for it.

Z-Man
08-14-2010, 07:02 PM
The details were a little different, but I experienced all of the same feelings you are having right now. It's not something most people have the guts to talk about but the truth is that most people go through something similar in their late teens or early twenties. You're finding your way in the world. It's not easy for anyone except people who don't think about what they're doing with their lives. Hang in there. It's not going to be easy but things will get better and life will get easier.

Re acting, it is a very difficult profession. Even if you have training and are able to scratch out a living doing community or regional theatre, you will have to endure endless auditioning and rejection. If this is your calling, don't hold back, but be aware it's not an easy path. You might want to consider a backup plan including some kind of education or marketable skill. If you have dreams of Hollywood, learn how to wait tables or tend bar.

Bottom line, lots of people have been in your shoes. You will get through it.

Kobble
08-14-2010, 07:12 PM
I cannot believe the original poster would think that anyone on here would have anything worth listening to. Especially, about acting. Maybe you can ask tennis players when you have an upcoming role as an obnoxious ****** bag.