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View Full Version : If we lived by Uncle Toni’s philosophy, the world would be a better place


Subventricular Zone
04-28-2011, 03:38 PM
I was inspired by someone who suggested that I might be Uncle T...apologies in advance if it's a little stale.


The Philosophy of Toni Nadal as imparted to his nephew Ralph


1. Being good at hitting a fuzzy yellow ball does not mean you are the center of the universe.

Rafel, you winner of 9 grand slams, no? Why you keep hitting the ball to the net? One more flubbed wide serve and you… stand in the corner!!!

2. You will never be good enough.

Roger is the best of the history, no?
Laver was the best coz he won the Grand Slam twice, no?
Now, move you’re grande a** back to the tennis court!

3. Always give 100%.

You little pri**, either you pay attention or stop wasting my ****ing time!!!

4. Always take it one match at time, one point at a time.

Okay, Rafel, we do it like this. Every point just put the ball in his backhand, but when I shout “vamos”, you hit to the forehand, no?

5. Play as if it’s the last match you’ll ever play.

Rafel, if you lose this match, I gonna throw the stupid playstation to the garbage, entiende?

6. Always be with humble and illusion.

Rafel, we gonna take down Roger, but we need to be with humble, no? We don’t want him to get ****ed like he did with that crazy old lady who said “the king is dead”, no?

7. Tennis is just a game.

Why you cry when you lost Wimbledon, eh? Only little babies cry…pfft!!! Don’t worry, next year you gonna beat him after I ask my special friend to make it rain/make it too dark during the final, no?

Uncle Toni=modern day Confucius :mrgreen: (or perhaps, reincarnated Dr. Evil? haha) :twisted:

What d ya think?

Mortifier
04-28-2011, 04:00 PM
Oh my god! I've never thought of those things before. I'm going to change my life completely and live by those seven philosophies.

Thanks once again! Where should I deposit my donation?

GOAT BAAH!!!
04-28-2011, 05:55 PM
http://www.foxnews.com/images/298254/0_61_kenny_G.jpgI was inspired by someone who suggested that I might be Uncle T...apologies in advance if it's a little stale.


The Philosophy of Toni Nadal as imparted to his nephew Ralph


1. Being good at hitting a fuzzy yellow ball does not mean you are the center of the universe.

Rafel, you winner of 9 grand slams, no? Why you keep hitting the ball to the net? One more flubbed wide serve and you… stand in the corner!!!

2. You will never be good enough.

Roger is the best of the history, no?
Laver was the best coz he won the Grand Slam twice, no?
Now, move you’re grande a** back to the tennis court!

3. Always give 100%.

You little pri**, either you pay attention or stop wasting my ****ing time!!!

4. Always take it one match at time, one point at a time.

Okay, Rafel, we do it like this. Every point just put the ball in his backhand, but when I shout “vamos”, you hit to the forehand, no?

5. Play as if it’s the last match you’ll ever play.

Rafel, if you lose this match, I gonna throw the stupid playstation to the garbage, entiende?

6. Always be with humble and illusion.

Rafel, we gonna take down Roger, but we need to be with humble, no? We don’t want him to get ****ed like he did with that crazy old lady who said “the king is dead”, no?

7. Tennis is just a game.

Why you cry when you lost Wimbledon, eh? Only little babies cry…pfft!!! Don’t worry, next year you gonna beat him after I ask my special friend to make it rain/make it too dark during the final, no?

Uncle Toni=modern day Confucius :mrgreen: (or perhaps, reincarnated Dr. Evil? haha) :twisted:

What d ya think?

FedExpress 333
04-28-2011, 06:12 PM
LOL Nice thread. This is funny, but just wait till the *******s come to bash the OP, and then the *******s come to their rescue. See the battleground then!

Subventricular Zone
04-28-2011, 08:28 PM
Whoa! Calm down, guys!

Satire, anyone?

Like I said, it was meant to be funny and I apologize if it's not and if I offended anyone.

Tio Toni seems like a great guy and sure helped with Nadal's legendary mental strength.

Cheers!

ninman
04-28-2011, 08:35 PM
Never buy an expensive car. The sign of someone who is truly humble is one who doesn't show off their enormous wealth.

http://www1.pictures.fp.zimbio.com/Rafael+Nadal+Driving+Aston+Martin+FrFm1KTfu5Nl.jpg

TheTruth
04-28-2011, 11:44 PM
Whoa! Calm down, guys!

Satire, anyone?

Like I said, it was meant to be funny and I apologize if it's not and if I offended anyone.

Tio Toni seems like a great guy and sure helped with Nadal's legendary mental strength.

Cheers!

I think it's funny, hilarious, in fact! You've got a great sense of humor from what I've seen so far.

MichaelNadal
04-28-2011, 11:52 PM
That was fn great :) "Illusion" lmao.

Beryl
04-29-2011, 12:59 AM
Never buy an expensive car. The sign of someone who is truly humble is one who doesn't show off their enormous wealth.
Nadal bought a DBS when a regular DB9 is a better car for less money. :neutral:

cucio
04-29-2011, 01:04 AM
Never buy an expensive car. The sign of someone who is truly humble is one who doesn't show off their enormous wealth.


But he parks it in the street. How's that not humble?

ninman
04-29-2011, 01:23 AM
Always play within the permitted time limits. If the rules say it's 20 seconds between points, always take fewer than 20 seconds...oh wait, sorry.

vive le beau jeu !
04-29-2011, 01:37 AM
What d ya think?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3ukCqmXmpE
Rafel, if you lose this match, I gonna throw the stupid playstation to the garbage, entiende?
wouldn't this work better with the muzzette ? ;)

Sentinel
04-29-2011, 02:03 AM
Brilliant again, Sir. My sincerest apologies for calling you nadal_freak earlier. *scratches head*

rommil
04-29-2011, 06:12 AM
8. It's ok to cheat in tennis, it's only a game.

vive le beau jeu !
04-29-2011, 06:23 AM
8. It's ok to cheat in tennis, it's only a game.
... as mac says !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRP6L9pV9aY

ninman
04-29-2011, 07:58 AM
Nobody will ever accuse you of using steroids.