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donnyz89
06-27-2005, 03:56 PM
someone did one on racquet junkie, but i thought this could lead to more humor... enjoy, feedbacks are welcome. any additions are welcome too.


You know you watch too much tennis when you break up with your girlfriend before every Grand Slam.

You know you watch too much tennis when you walk in late to class, and you ask the teacher to check shot spot to see if your foot was in the classroom when the bell rang.

You know you play too much tennis when you have an outfit for every racquet you own.

You know you play too much tennis when you hold your pencil with an eastern grip.

You know you watch too much tennis when you have the brand of your racquet stamped on everything you own.

You know you watch too much tennis when you practice Andy Roddick’s serve with your baby brother.

You know you play too much tennis when every time someone mentions the time, you think about what spin it creates when you serve. (12 o clock, etc).

You know you play too much tennis when your child’s first word is “Cmon!!”

You know you play too much tennis when you yell “Cmon” every time you ever succeed in the smallest task.

You know you play too much tennis when you have to hide all the racquets and balls from your wife or girlfriend.

You know you play too much tennis when you take out your anger on your wife or girlfriend, siblings, sons/daughters, grandparents, grandsons, nephews, cousins, niece, and anyone related to you that I forgot.

You know you play too much tennis when you talk to yourself aloud during a test to pump you up.

You know you watch too much tennis when you have the calendar marked for all the tournaments for the next 5 years.

You know you watch too much tennis when you are already thinking about what kind of match-up would Sampras and Agassi’s sons will have.

You know you play too much tennis when you try to volley in table tennis.

You know you watch too much tennis when you think about what every sport would be like with a racquet.

You know you play too much tennis when you have a mini routine for your daily tasks.

You know you watch too much tennis when you can impersonate every ATP player.

You know you watch too much tennis when you can name top 100 ATP and WTA players but can’t remember your kids’ names.

You know you watch too much tennis when you keep track of every statistic of every player, and their ranking and ranking points but can’t ace Statistics in school.

You know you watch too much tennis when you name your kids Roger, Leyton, Andy, Marat…

You know you watch too much tennis when you… wait, Federer is on, this shouldn’t take long…

You know you play too much tennis when you overhead smash your kid brother.

You know you play too much tennis when you see a friend walking towards you; you think to yourself “he’s moving in, I gotta pass him down the line”.

You know you play too much tennis when you drill holes in all your stuff because it can increase the flexibility.

You know you play too much tennis when you sold your soul to the devil for an ace.

You know you play too much tennis when you call the line judge whenever there is an argument.

You know you watch too much tennis when your married your wife because she looked like your favorite player… Davenport.

You know you watch too much tennis when you get more excited watching Roger Federer hit a passing shot than seeing your girlfriend.

You know you play too much tennis when instead of fighting someone who stole your girlfriend; you challenge him to a pro-set match.

You know you play too much tennis when you are sitting on the court right now with a laptop reading this.

You know you play too much tennis when you call the racquet store to ask if the new nCode is in with a different voice every time you call just so he doesn’t get mad.

You know you watch too much tennis when you are taking an exam, and you are drawing out the draws to the next tournament.

You know you watch too much tennis when you already know how many tournaments every player needs to win to obtain certain ranking

You know you play too much tennis when there are holes in your house because of you hitting balls in the house.

You know you play too much tennis when you have more broken racquets than Marat Safin.

You know you watch too much tennis when you want to vote for Andy Roddick for the next presidential election.

You know you play too much tennis when you scout every player in the town to find out their tennis game.

You know you play too much tennis when you use magic markers to make your own paintjobs.

You know you play too much tennis when you shuffle and side step when moving from place to place.

You know you play too much tennis when you practice your swing with an imaginary racquet at least 5 times an hour.

You know you watch too much tennis when you hear the words “eye droppa” in your dreams.

You know you play too much tennis when you hold your racquet when you sleep.

You know you play too much tennis when you show random people on the streets all the grips.

You know you play too much tennis when people would blackmail you with your racquets.

You know you play too much tennis when you have time to come up with all this... for you smartasses out there ;)

safin_protege
06-27-2005, 04:31 PM
You know you watch and play to much tennis when you start quoting the announcers on TV, calling just about everything a "casual dropper".

FREDDY
06-27-2005, 04:36 PM
hahaha good one. 3 quarters of this stuff goes.

tykrum
06-27-2005, 05:47 PM
When your best friends catch you every time making a tennis reference and say "everything goes back to tennis!"

When you only plan vacations so that you can go watch a pro tennis tournament or play in a tournament during the vacation. (my last four, plus my next one. It will be 6 out of last 7 in March)
Sub-point: when its a no-brainer to travel to play in a tournament with some so-so friends instead of going to a spring break hot spot with your best friends.

When your current job, and all the jobs you are envisioning having in the next 5 years involve teaching or coaching tennis. Even though you are playing $15K+/yr to learn stuff in school.

Yes these are all about me. The tournament that I played in was in San Diego, so cut me some slack there.

diredesire
06-27-2005, 06:52 PM
many of these were ACTUALLY funny. props ;)

Rodzilla
06-27-2005, 07:10 PM
^ A lot of good ones up there, but I didn't bother to read each and every one, so sorry if I reposted these two

You know you play/watch too much tennis when you got tennis equipment scattered all over your room along with magazines, posters, etc.

You know you play/watch too much tennis when you make watching a match on tv part of your schedule.

Baseline Basher
06-27-2005, 07:17 PM
You know you watch way too much tennis when people talk about a commercial, and you can name off all the players in the commercial without hesitation.

You know you watch too much tennis when you know what clothes and what racquet the top players use.

You know you play too much tennis when you hear someone say, "You got served!" And you correct them by saying, "No, you got aced!"

You know you play too much tennis when you ask your girlfriend to use her backhand the next time she hits you, because her forehand is so much stronger.

I'm tired, cut me some slack.

Kaptain Karl
06-27-2005, 10:01 PM
Comedy is a lot harder than it seems. Huh, donny?

- KK

StraightSets
06-27-2005, 10:17 PM
They were great Donnyz89. Thanks for posting them.

Andy Hewitt
06-27-2005, 10:52 PM
Hah, that's sick.

K!ck5w3rvE
06-28-2005, 01:18 AM
HAHA. Damn it.....i need to do if more because of the character limit... HAHAHAHA. Done.

peter
06-28-2005, 03:17 AM
You know you play/watch too much tennis when you all the pictures you take are of tennis players, equipment or just about anything tennis related.

theace21
06-28-2005, 08:36 AM
You know you play/watch too much tennis when...

You spend several hours a week on the TW board!!!!!

donnyz89
06-28-2005, 10:57 AM
Comedy is a lot harder than it seems. Huh, donny?

- KK

dark sarcasm capt k?

nvm... u seem to hate all my funnier jokes, yet appreciate "you are a racquet junkie if u have time to come up with 10 reasons". idk about your sense of humor capt k...

Ronaldo
06-28-2005, 11:12 AM
You know you play too much tennis when you play a USTA League tournament match on your wedding day and nearly late to your wedding. True

donnyz89
06-28-2005, 02:07 PM
You know you play too much tennis when you play a USTA League tournament match on your wedding day and nearly late to your wedding. True

if that was REALLY true... wow buddy, i worry about you. lol... do you hesistate when you are asked if u love your racquets more or your wife too? ;)

slice bh compliment
06-28-2005, 03:58 PM
[QUOTE=Baseline Basher]...
You know you play too much tennis when you hear someone say, "You got served!" And you correct them by saying, "No, you got aced!"
...QUOTE]

Good ones, especially the above. However, everyone knows the appropriate response to a person who uses "YOU GOT SERVED!" is,

"DORK."

one_fast_serve
06-28-2005, 06:32 PM
You know you play too much tennis when you talk about how bad actors' strokes are when they play tennis in movies.

That happens to me a lot :)

Leelord337
01-31-2012, 07:27 AM
I watch wayyy too much tennis, I keep up with every 250 tourny too.

you know you watch too much tennis when you know the entire top 100 of the ATP tour

Timbo's hopeless slice
01-31-2012, 02:19 PM
you know you play/watch too much tennis when you have nothing better to do than dig out ancient threads like this...