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View Full Version : How do you ask your competitor if he has balls?


Ripper
12-07-2005, 10:53 AM
I always say: "Do you have TENNIS balls?" But still sounds awkward.

zAllianceBmx
12-07-2005, 10:56 AM
"do you have any balls"
"do you need any balls"

whats it matter how you say it? if you're worried it makes you sound like a flamer, i suggest not playing any sports involving "balls"

andfor
12-07-2005, 11:42 AM
You should switch to fishing so you can ask others about their poles. Or if you garden you could ask fellow gardeners about their bush types.

simi
12-07-2005, 11:52 AM
I almost always say, "Did you bring any balls, or should we use mine?" or, "Did you bring a can of balls? I have some if you didn't bring any." Never had any issues and it evens out to about 50-50. Always, always, always, carry a new can of balls in your bag. It is almost as important as your racket.

Tchocky
12-07-2005, 12:14 PM
Are you being homophobic and/or sophmoric? Everyone should bring at lease one new can of balls...it's just good etiquette.

matchpoint
12-07-2005, 12:28 PM
I always say: "Do you have TENNIS balls?" But still sounds awkward.

The proper etiquette is, the lower rated player provides the balls or if you invited (asked) someone you should provide.

The proper etiquette is to always have an unopened can of balls in your bag but if you don't, at least to have some balls.

If you don't know his rating and you don't want to ask him for balls, take out the best balls that you have, if he feels your balls are old he should take out his balls if he has better ones. If he plays the balls you provided even if they are dead, its either he doesn't have any better or he can't recognize between a tennis ball and a rotten apple, or he is cheap and would be carrying that unopened can of balls in his bag forever.

Skppr05
12-07-2005, 01:17 PM
I always ask if he wants to use his and then offer mine. If he says he doens't have any and neither to I, I offer to play another day. But then again, it's foolish to go to a tennis court without any.

Muse
12-07-2005, 02:07 PM
I ask if they have any balls. I like to think I'm mature enough that I can say the word "ball" and not think about the male genitalia.

MonkeyPox
12-08-2005, 11:57 AM
For real. Sounds pretty juvenile. Sort of a hilarious post though, who'd have even thought of it.

Geezer Guy
12-08-2005, 12:13 PM
Whoever extends the invitation to play should provide the balls. If you asked him to play, just dig out your balls. If he asked you, just wait for him to provide them. Nothing need be said. If either party pulls out balls the other doesn't like, the other can provide his own.

Interesting note - in one doubles league that I sub in sometimes, they take turns providing balls, AND, whoever provides the balls automatically gets to serve first. In another league I play in regularly, both players bring a new can of balls. One can is opened and used during the match. At the end of the match the winner keeps the unopened can, and the loser keeps the balls used during the match. If you do well in the league, you can play the entire session for just a couple of cans of balls. If you do poorly, you have to buy new balls every week.

srv vlly
12-08-2005, 01:08 PM
can i hold your balls? lol

rilokiley
12-08-2005, 11:22 PM
can I borrow your balls? lol

HeNmAiNiA
12-08-2005, 11:26 PM
can I borrow your balls? lol
lol
thats funny
i always ask do you have any balls lol
then i correct myself
tennis balls

Rumjungle
12-09-2005, 11:24 AM
Be secure in your manhood. What's wrong with asking someone if they'd like to play with your balls?;)

Interesting note - in one doubles league that I sub in sometimes, they take turns providing balls, AND, whoever provides the balls automatically gets to serve first. In another league I play in regularly, both players bring a new can of balls. One can is opened and used during the match. At the end of the match the winner keeps the unopened can, and the loser keeps the balls used during the match. If you do well in the league, you can play the entire session for just a couple of cans of balls. If you do poorly, you have to buy new balls every week.

GeezerGuy, that's a cool idea. I'm gonna start implementing that where I play.

nViATi
12-09-2005, 03:56 PM
"got any tennis balls?" :rolleyes:

ssjkyle31
12-09-2005, 09:10 PM
You could tell the truth. "I don't have any tennis balls..I forgot my tennis balls....My dog ate my tennis ball. Do you have any tennis balls?"

CivicLx
12-12-2005, 11:33 AM
we can use your balls but i want to squeeze them first to make sure they don't have any lumps

Geezer Guy
12-12-2005, 12:36 PM
Actually, you don't need to ASK if s/he has balls.

Just wait for the first IMPORTANT point. If you opponent just pokes at the ball, s/he has NO balls. If s/he takes a full cut at the ball and goes for it, s/he HAS balls!