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View Full Version : Problem with my invitation to Buenos-Aires.


Aykhan Mammadov
01-06-2006, 03:13 PM
When I solve all my technical problems - problems with my tennis results appear. When I get good achievements in preliminary tournaments - technical problems appear. Such a bad luck pursues me all the time - I don't know even what to do.

Imagine, my results this year are not worser than preceding year before Brasil Open, that is this year I have received an invitation to Buenos Aires International Series as a qualifier. But what is annoying I can't get a visa there.

Since I live in comparably small country ( 8 mln.) we don't have direct consulate of Argentina and visas to both North and South America are given bu consulate of USA. In the consulate they said me that I'm from 3-rd category country and their job is NOT TO GIVE visa, otherwise why for them to sit there if they started to give visa to everybody. They asked me to prove 2 things: 1) I can stay there for my own money, shortly that I have got some money 2) I don't have intention to stay there for always and live there.

Point (1) I proved, but point (2) I couldn't prove them. I told them that I earn money here, I have job, my family, my son, and I can't leave them, that I find my city is much nicer and better than whole Americas and etc...- but they didn't believe. I told that I'm tennis player and my profession demands me to travel, but they insisted that everybody wants to travel and many professions also demands from their followers to travel but tennis is one of least important - so they can't allow me to play tennis there.

So what was left for me? To increase my qualification only here ? So to say domestically ? And internationally at the forum ?

simi
01-06-2006, 03:32 PM
Contents of this post deleted because . . . well, I believed the OP "hook, line, and sinker".

PM_
01-06-2006, 03:35 PM
..........

andfor
01-06-2006, 04:33 PM
What a shameful situation you have imagined. You should talk to the tournament director. I am sure they are adept at handling these situations for their players. Wink, wink.;)

DashaandSafin
01-06-2006, 05:14 PM
Ok its time to give it up Aykhan, you are beating a dead horse.
Its just like that time you qualified for the Brazil open right?

CivicLx
01-06-2006, 06:20 PM
hahahahahaha...i certainly don't know of Aykhan's antics as well as some of you other posters but this guy cracks me up...the post itself wasn't so funny but just the fact that he wrote it pretending to me is funny.

i know he annoys some people but i seriously don't think he means any harm...I think the first Aykhan post I read was about him being a pro and I didn't know he was a jokester at first...

anyway, Aykhan I give you props for coming up with some pretty entertaining stuff...thanks:)

simi
01-06-2006, 07:46 PM
What you guys say is for real? If so, all I can say is . . .

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

That's one!

PM_
01-06-2006, 10:32 PM
And internationally at the forum ?

wtf???????????AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA good one Aykhan I'm sure you'll win plenty of tourneys online. ROFLMAO

meh
01-07-2006, 12:12 AM
Aykhan, you made my day.

equinox
01-07-2006, 03:34 AM
Contact your national association and they'll contact the ITF to help get the process started. Need atleast six months visa preparations before the tournament starts.

equinox
01-07-2006, 04:45 AM
Are you Emin AGAEV?

http://www.itftennis.com/mens/players/activity.asp?player=10018980

Because he's the only player from your country to even remotely likely to get an invitation to IS events.

andfor
01-07-2006, 05:29 AM
Contact your national association and they'll contact the ITF to help get the process started. Need atleast six months visa preparations before the tournament starts.

Good suggestion. Due to his fraudulent and foolish attempt enter this event at such a late time he may have to ask for a raincheck.

Are you Emin AGAEV?

Good question. But no his real name is Jaggin Uov.:D

gugafanatic
01-07-2006, 06:17 AM
Aykhan I also heard you had arranged a hitting session with Guga.

Fee
01-07-2006, 07:10 AM
Aykhan,
Sit underneath the tree with the very big roots, you should see a hole that looks almost big enough that a man could squeeze through it. Eat the mushroom next to that hole. After you eat the mushroom, you will fit through the hole quite easily and you will be able to go in and find the White Rabbit (can't miss him, wearing a top hat and bow tie). He will help you with your visa problems.

raftermania
01-07-2006, 08:07 AM
Aykhan, I heard they stopped you at customs because of too many sex crimes.

Andres
01-07-2006, 08:34 AM
That's weird... you don't need a visa to enter ARG, just your passport ;)
Maybe the guys from the tourneys are too afraid ;)

DashaandSafin
01-07-2006, 08:51 AM
hahahahahaha...i certainly don't know of Aykhan's antics as well as some of you other posters but this guy cracks me up...the post itself wasn't so funny but just the fact that he wrote it pretending to me is funny.

i know he annoys some people but i seriously don't think he means any harm...I think the first Aykhan post I read was about him being a pro and I didn't know he was a jokester at first...

anyway, Aykhan I give you props for coming up with some pretty entertaining stuff...thanks:)
Yea but after many threads like this, it starts to get boring. Dont get me wrong, i thought he was funny at first...but all the jokes are the same.

chess9
01-07-2006, 09:02 AM
Let me know when you get that sorted. The Wimbledon Competition Committee is being very slow about my invite and Blair just doesn't want me in the country because I come from such a small banana republic (Florida).

-Robert
________
Roll Blunts (http://howtorollablunt.net/)

Aykhan Mammadov
01-07-2006, 11:56 AM
That's weird... you don't need a visa to enter ARG, just your passport ;)
Maybe the guys from the tourneys are too afraid ;)

Andres, u missed my point. I can't directly from here fly to Argentina. I must fly first to USA, stay there a little, then fly further to Argentina. Problem is that I can't buy a ticket to USA and then - to Argentina, the air line company that sells such transit tickets demands from me visa to both countries. Such a stupid and confused situation...

Imagine in my country where only 8 mln. population, a lot of oil and caviar and only 2 PROs - Emin Agaev and me, what a reason to keep big national federation ? It consists of only 2 men - exactly 1 man and his secretary sitting in one small room. I asked him and he advised that he has informed ITF about the situation. But ITF doesn't have serious attitude to our federation. Finaly, they advised me to change citizenship. Now I'm thinking to which country to move from Azerbaijan ? What would u advise me ? But keep in mind that I'm 40, I'm married and have son.

Andres
01-07-2006, 01:41 PM
Andres, u missed my point. I can't directly from here fly to Argentina. I must fly first to USA, stay there a little, then fly further to Argentina. Problem is that I can't buy a ticket to USA and then - to Argentina, the air line company that sells such transit tickets demands from me visa to both countries. Such a stupid and confused situation...


Why can't you fly directly to ARG? Isn't any direct flights to ARG?
If they aren't, try any other American country to do scale before landing here... except for America, all you need is a passport... Mexico, Brazil, Uruguay, Canada, Paraguay, Bolivia (you can visit doriancito ;))...

154Ace
01-07-2006, 01:48 PM
Your 40 and your getting an invitation to Buenos Aires?

Biggest load of crap i have ever heard.

154Ace
01-07-2006, 01:51 PM
Hey Aykhan Mammadov, its me.....Roger Federer!!!

Be sure to ask me any questions about this situation. I travel alot.

Oh yea, would you like to be my hitting partner? Im in need of one. I looking for a 40 year old man, could you meet me in Australia.

Im believing myself about being Roger Federer more than im believing you.

pound cat
01-07-2006, 02:04 PM
LOL 154Ace....I mean Roger.

Andres
01-07-2006, 02:05 PM
Hey Aykhan Mammadov, its me.....Roger Federer!!!

Be sure to ask me any questions about this situation. I travel alot.

Oh yea, would you like to be my hitting partner? Im in need of one. I looking for a 40 year old man, could you meet me in Australia.

Im believing myself about being Roger Federer more than im believing you.

HOLY ****!!! IS ROGER HIMSELF!!! AT THE TTW !!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

Volly master
01-07-2006, 02:49 PM
OMGGGG ROGER !!!!!!

remember me? that tough 5 setter in wimbleon back in '01?

its me, pete sampras, thats why my username on this website is "volly master"

Andres
01-07-2006, 02:51 PM
If u're Sampras, why did u say "OOMGGGGG!!!"

Sounded completely girlish and afeminate ;)

serchflores
01-07-2006, 03:28 PM
Aykhan:
If you can't control your drugs, stop consuming them. LOL

154Ace
01-07-2006, 06:32 PM
Oh Pete Sampras, its you. I thought i told you to stay away from me after that smack down i layed on you at Wimbledon. Your a waste of my time.

I have a new rival that gives me much more competition than you ever did.

His name is "drumroll"....................Aykhan !!!!!!!

Sorry Pete, i dont have time for you anymore. I have to go practice for Buenos Aires, i have a tough match coming against my new rival. Peace!

Signed,
Roger Federer "himself"

racingdad23
01-07-2006, 07:40 PM
Aykhan,

Every day brings a new dose of reality. Either face up to it or tie a kerosene soaked rag to your ankles so the ants dont crawl up and eat your candy ***.

Best Regards, Dale Earnhardt Sr

Rabbit
01-08-2006, 04:35 AM
Please hurry, the tux is due back to the rental Wednesday.

Aykhan Mammadov
01-08-2006, 08:10 AM
Your 40 and your getting an invitation to Buenos Aires?

Biggest load of crap i have ever heard.

Yes, there is also parallel tournament for those who retired. What strange did u find here ?

Aykhan Mammadov
01-08-2006, 12:08 PM
Hey Aykhan Mammadov, its me.....Roger Federer!!!

Be sure to ask me any questions about this situation. I travel alot.

Oh yea, would you like to be my hitting partner? Im in need of one. I looking for a 40 year old man, could you meet me in Australia.

Im believing myself about being Roger Federer more than im believing you.

I'm afraid to get a visa to Australia even harder than to Argentina. Can u visit me in Azerbaijan and we'll go to consulate together ? Maybe this will help ...

154Ace
01-08-2006, 03:44 PM
Oh man.....i saw a thread for funniest post one time. I think we got a new one folks!!!!!

LMAO !!!!!!!

Aykhan Mammadov
01-09-2006, 09:22 AM
What is funny here for u ? I really don't understand u, my situation is very dramatic, if not to tell tragic.

Fee
01-09-2006, 09:58 AM
It's old Aykhan, I think we're all over it. Thanks.

equinox
01-09-2006, 08:45 PM
There are NO ranked ITF veterans from azerbaijan.

equinox
01-09-2006, 09:05 PM
There are NO ranked ITF veterans from azerbaijan.

raftermania
01-09-2006, 10:09 PM
There are NO ranked ITF veterans from azerbaijan.

Noelle
01-09-2006, 11:04 PM
There are NO ranked ITF veterans from azerbaijan.

Also, I'm repeating myself. ;)

Phil
01-09-2006, 11:29 PM
Aykhan - If you're having visa problems, I can help you.

There is another access point into Argentina. Get yourself a visa to Uruguay or Brazil, and then sneak through the jungle and over the Argentine border. I just happen to be a qualified "Jungle Guide" and I speak some Spanish and Portuguese. All you will need to bring is: some decent boots, insect repellent, a snake bite kit, a machete, some clean underwear and plenty of cash (Euros or Dollars only, please) to pay me (US$10,000), deail expenses for my all-female porter crew (US$150 per day) and sufficient funds to bribe various border guards, customs officials and other unsavory types.

How about it? Do we have a deal?

Aykhan Mammadov
01-10-2006, 10:46 AM
Phil, how all of u don't want to understand me? I live in small country, we don't have any consulate of any American country ( including North and South) except USA here. That is to get visa to Brasil or wherever in America I must reffer to consulate to USA. But they simply don't want to understand and hear me.

We have also very small consulate of Cuba remaining from Soviet times, but they don't give visas even to Cuba itself and I don't know why they are sitting here ? Probably they are waiting change of regime in their homeland.

Aykhan Mammadov
01-10-2006, 10:56 AM
There are NO ranked ITF veterans from azerbaijan.

Not right. I had wildcard. First veteran was - Sergei Likhachev, search him in data base of ATP. He was great double player and is my so-to-say "grandfather" what means my coach is his tennis pupil. I'm third GREAT veteran and probably the LAST of MOHICANS.

Geezer Guy
01-10-2006, 11:38 AM
I'm suspicious. I heard somewhere that
there are NO ranked ITF veterans from azerbaijan.

raftermania
01-10-2006, 11:41 AM
Do you homework Equinox:

http://www.daviscup.com/teams/player.asp?player=10002736

Aykhan Mammadov
01-10-2006, 11:50 AM
http://www.atptennis.com/en/players/playerprofiles/Titles/default.asp?playernumber=L119

simi
01-10-2006, 12:11 PM
Aykhan - If you're having visa problems, I can help you.

There is another access point into Argentina. Get yourself a visa to Uruguay or Brazil, and then sneak through the jungle and over the Argentine border. I just happen to be a qualified "Jungle Guide" and I speak some Spanish and Portuguese. All you will need to bring is: some decent boots, insect repellent, a snake bite kit, a machete, some clean underwear and plenty of cash (Euros or Dollars only, please) to pay me (US$10,000), deail expenses for my all-female porter crew (US$150 per day) and sufficient funds to bribe various border guards, customs officials and other unsavory types.

How about it? Do we have a deal?

Cute post. I enjoyed it. Only one problem . . . there is no jungle between Argentina and Uruguay/Brazil. There is, however, a fairly wide river that for part of its length is over 100 miles wide. Only reason it is classified as a river is because it is composed of fresh water and not ocean water. Even in the north, it is about a 1/4 to 1/2 mile wide. Rest of the landscape on either side of the river is farmland or ranchland. No need for a machete. They wouldn't even know what one is. Again, cute post.

(p.s. My wife is Uruguayan and we visit often. Nice country. Might purchase some retirement property down there. Pretty cheap.)

Aykhan Mammadov
01-10-2006, 12:27 PM
What is machete?

raftermania
01-10-2006, 12:33 PM
http://orhmod.totalbf2.com/news/1/machete.jpg

andfor
01-10-2006, 12:42 PM
How does Emin Agaev handle these situations? Maybe some folks from his camp would help you. Have you talked to the tournament director or to your countries tennis federation for advise.

Aykhan Mammadov
01-10-2006, 12:55 PM
Emin is not here, probably he lives in USA.

Regarding our federation I told already - see my post.

Phil
01-10-2006, 03:44 PM
Cute post. I enjoyed it. Only one problem . . . there is no jungle between Argentina and Uruguay/Brazil. There is, however, a fairly wide river that for part of its length is over 100 miles wide. Only reason it is classified as a river is because it is composed of fresh water and not ocean water. Even in the north, it is about a 1/4 to 1/2 mile wide. Rest of the landscape on either side of the river is farmland or ranchland. No need for a machete. They wouldn't even know what one is. Again, cute post.

(p.s. My wife is Uruguayan and we visit often. Nice country. Might purchase some retirement property down there. Pretty cheap.)

Depends on what you consider "jungle". On my way back from Argentina to Brazil I flew over a large, verdant area that would be called either a jungle or forest. Oh, bugger off with your condescending "cute" comments.

simi
01-10-2006, 04:04 PM
Depends on what you consider "jungle". On my way back from Argentina to Brazil I flew over a large, verdant area that would be called either a jungle or forest. Oh, bugger off with your condescending "cute" comments.

Yeah! My first flame. I've posted on these boards for about five years now, and this is a first. I liked the old forum software better. Been fairly inactive here since they went to the new software.

You want to double my flame count?

(Honestly, I though your post was clever. Intent was not to offend. I knew at the time that "cute" wasn't the right word, but I couldn't think of what else to use. Unless you live in the southwest, you probably wouldn't get the punch line. Certainly not the OP.)

andfor
01-10-2006, 04:41 PM
Emin is not here, probably he lives in USA.

Regarding our federation I told already - see my post.

Sounds like your SOL pal.

Phil
01-10-2006, 04:47 PM
Yeah! My first flame. I've posted on these boards for about five years now, and this is a first. I liked the old forum software better. Been fairly inactive here since they went to the new software.

You want to double my flame count?

(Honestly, I though your post was clever. Intent was not to offend. I knew at the time that "cute" wasn't the right word, but I couldn't think of what else to use. Unless you live in the southwest, you probably wouldn't get the punch line. Certainly not the OP.)

That's not a "flame"; you got off with a mere citation. I don't live in the Southwest, so I guess I missed whatever punchline you think you wrote-such a pity. I lived in Texas for 6 months though, and I didn't "get" why the place even exists.

If you ever again find yourself at a loss for a better word than "cute" while reading one of my posts, the default phrases "absolutely brilliant" or "amazingly trenchent" will work just fine. Feel free to liberally sprinkle your responses to my posts with these phrases.

equinox
01-11-2006, 03:15 AM
Raftermania, that guy was representing the former USSR not azerbaijan. With a name like sergei that guy is probably more russian than azerbaijanis.

I repeat, There are NO "ranked" "ITF veterans" from azerbaijan.

Nothing comes up on the ITF computers for veterans.

There maybe azerbaijanis who played under Soviet Union flag. But that was not what i was asserting.

I can only suggest you defect from your country, Aykhan Mammadov.

Aykhan Mammadov
01-11-2006, 10:14 AM
equinox, that man really was born in Baku, Azerbaijan and by nationality he is Russian. My coach is also Russian but he is citizen of Azerbaijan. But there are so many Russians, Georgians, Ukranians and etc.. living in Azerbaijan.

At those times there wasn't Azerbaijan or Ukrain, everybody played under Soviet Union flag. In this meaning u are completely right.

But now all these people have Azerbaijan citizenship so formally u are not right.

I'll think where to move from Baku. Otherwise I'll be finished for BIG PRO tennis and the world may lose such a talented and stupid player as me. What would u recommend, where to move ?

simi
01-11-2006, 02:22 PM
What would u recommend, where to move ?

Somewhere where the people (citizens) control the government. No one place is "perfect", but there are a lot of countries that at least are trying to do it "right".