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Virtuous
02-02-2006, 02:23 PM
;)
Roger Federer Admits Tennis His Fourth-Favorite Sport

February 2, 2006 | Onion Sports

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA—In a tearful admission following his seventh Grand Slam title at the Australian Open Sunday, Roger Federer told members of the press that, while he "like[s] tennis okay," there are at least three other sports he would rather be playing or watching.


"Tennis is all well and good, and yes, I'm great at it, and sure, I've made millions of dollars playing this sport, but when you get right down to it, it's just a game of human Pong," Federer said. "On the rare occasion that I hear the roar of the crowd during one of my matches, I like to pretend I've just hurdled into the end zone, or sank a three-pointer at the buzzer, or hit a home run to win the game."

"Just the thought of all the exciting moments that can happen in other sports is enough to make me want to give up tennis, buy a big-screen TV, and sit at home all day watching ESPN Classic for the rest of my life," added Federer, placing his Australian Open trophy where it wouldn't obscure his signed photo of Cal Ripken Jr.

While tennis is the most important sport to Federer's livelihood, he admitted that he follows baseball, football, and basketball far more closely.

"I couldn't even tell you who the No. 1 ranked tennis player in the world is right now," Federer said. "It's probably me, still. It is, isn't it? That's so weird when you think about how I don't really care one way or another."

Federer, known for his reserved, unemotional style of play on the court, said his famous "stoicism" is usually just his mind wandering off to thoughts about that night's NBA schedule, or whether it would be worth it to purchase the MLB Extra Innings cable package.

"People always assume I'm concentrating on the match, but how can you concentrate on tennis when there are literally 10 football games being played at the same time? It takes all my mental faculties to not run off the court and try to find a TV," Federer said. "Thank God the [Australian Open] finals didn't fall on Super Bowl Sunday. I might have had to forfeit."

After a teary-eyed Federer accepted the Australian Open trophy from tennis icon Rod Laver, the last man to sweep all four Grand Slam events in the same year, he attributed his uncharacteristic show of emotion to his sudden on-court realization that he will probably never become a major-league baseball player.

"Sure, Rod Laver is my hero—my tennis hero," Federer said. "But if I had the opportunity to just meet—never mind receive an award from—Ken Griffey Jr., Troy Aikman, or Michael Jordan, I would be so much more thrilled."

"No offense to Rod Laver, who was a great tennis player and is probably a very nice guy," Federer added.

Federer, who blames his inability to bring home a French Open title on the fact that it usually falls right in the midst of the NBA postseason when he has other priorities, has also begun to take a liking to golf and often catches himself practicing his swing between sets.

"Golf is a lot like tennis in that it requires immense focus and concentration, but ultimately it's so much more relaxing and rewarding than two guys hitting a ball back and forth for hours on end," Federer said. "One more 90-degree day on clay courts, and I might just consider joining the PGA Tour."

Federer added that, while he doesn't technically consider stock-car racing a "sport," he finds it "much more exhilarating and interesting than tennis" and would "happily trade in all the Wimbledons in the world for a chance to ride shotgun in a Chevy Monte Carlo at Daytona with [his] idol Kurt Busch."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45054

Californication
02-02-2006, 02:26 PM
LOL that made for a good laugh


Just in case there is someone around that doesn't know, The Onion is a comedic satire website. Anybody that takes it seriously, well, just don't.

pound cat
02-02-2006, 02:38 PM
Exactly. Onion is great...very funny because it'
s satirical www.onion.com

or www.theonion.com


both got me to this GREAT magazine.

killer
02-02-2006, 02:51 PM
lol...thanks for the chuckle ;-)

KennyNguyen
02-02-2006, 03:04 PM
I Thought You Were Serious! I Didn't Notice The Wink! Ah!

pound cat
02-02-2006, 03:04 PM
Once you've read Onion, you're hooked.

Too too funny..available at your favorite newstand

Viper
02-02-2006, 03:22 PM
lol that was funny

rfprse
02-02-2006, 03:56 PM
Good one :D

Just in case there is someone around that doesn't know, The Onion is a comedic satire website. Anybody that takes it seriously, well, just don't.
Good explanation for those who may misunderstand, but just spoiled the possibility of having a little more fun... ;)

Mr.Federer
02-02-2006, 03:58 PM
good one...

TennisWooh
02-02-2006, 04:15 PM
I was reading this and thought, "What the hell? Is he really serious here? Federer is an a**hole." Lol... nice post =)

donnyz89
02-02-2006, 04:55 PM
I thought it was true too, wow... how stupid of me. Fun stuff.

Californication
02-02-2006, 05:16 PM
Good one :D


Good explanation for those who may misunderstand, but just spoiled the possibility of having a little more fun... ;)


haha, I'm still new here, so maybe its a little too early to show my true colors...:p

jings
02-02-2006, 05:46 PM
Fine post - Onion is blacklisted on the work internet now so I've got out of the way of reading it lately. Very funny, thanks.

pero
02-03-2006, 12:49 AM
jeah, looks very realistic, i've already thought the guy isn't normal...

nice :mrgreen:

go_nadal
02-03-2006, 01:31 AM
Lol! i was like... Huh? Wat the hell then as i got to the end i was like this cant b real surely... HAHA nice one!

Shabazza
02-03-2006, 03:49 AM
made me smile

morten
02-03-2006, 03:54 AM
annoying...

Docalex007
02-03-2006, 04:54 AM
The Queen was not amused. :neutral:

ATXtennisaddict
02-03-2006, 05:27 AM
When I was reading this I was like "ehhh...." until I saw onion link. lol

roundiesee
02-04-2006, 04:15 PM
Just wondering....do these guys at the Onion ever get sued?? If Laver doesn't know any better, he might hate Federer after reading that article.....

Roger is Boring
02-04-2006, 07:12 PM
lol ! well thanx to rogers' boring domination tennis is now my fourth favorite sport too.

Onion
02-04-2006, 07:29 PM
Onion rules! :D :mrgreen: :-P

Onion
02-04-2006, 07:33 PM
lol ! well thanx to rogers' boring domination tennis is now my fourth favorite sport too.
You should appreciate how much work it took to make it look as easy as Federer does. Sampras was at that level for a number of years too. I thought it was great to see such a dominant player push everyone else to raise their games.

efice32
02-04-2006, 07:51 PM
the sad thing about Federer's domination is the fact that as I read (something I originally thought to be true until I saw the onion link) about his apathy toward tennis, I actually thought that maybe it would make me a better player to care less about tennis. Wow. What we would do to play like Roger.