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View Full Version : If the pros had to get a real job, what would it be ?


christo
06-07-2006, 09:50 PM
Mac would be a Violinist, Llubijic a Blacksmith, Vitas a Rock Star, Rafter a Surfer, Lendl a Prison Warden etc etc

BaseLineBash
06-07-2006, 10:24 PM
Agassi would be a pro baseball player or world class marksman, Federer would be the greatest ballet dancer, Safin would own his own pub and Hewitt would play Aussie rules football.

vive le beau jeu !
06-07-2006, 11:16 PM
nadal would be an english teacher, no ?

jamauss
06-07-2006, 11:26 PM
McEnroe would be a stand-up comedian...

"so I told her...you CANNOT be serious..." :D

TENNIS_IS_FUN
06-07-2006, 11:26 PM
I think Safin would be a good cage fighter...all that anger would come in handy.

superman1
06-08-2006, 12:36 AM
Imagine Safin as a writer or a poet or something intellectual. Once in a while he'd smash his pen to bits in anger.

McEnroe would be an angry comedian, Connors would be an angry high school teacher. Roddick would work at McDonald's. Nah, maybe he'd be a poker player. Coria would be a drug dealer. Nalbandian would be a spokesman for Slim Fast. Ljubicic would be a hit man.

BaseLineBash
06-08-2006, 12:40 AM
Imagine Safin as a writer or a poet or something intellectual. Once in a while he'd smash his pen to bits in anger.

haha

HyperHorse
06-08-2006, 12:54 AM
Federer a ballet dancer?? no... he would be a watchmaker or a....
*thinks* a comedian or an actor, i heard he is quite funny....

BaseLineBash
06-08-2006, 12:59 AM
Federer a ballet dancer?? no... he would be a watchmaker or a....
*thinks* a comedian or an actor, i heard he is quite funny....
He reminds me of someone who could become a flawless ballet dancer, perfect balance on the move, flexible and strong.

naturalgut
06-08-2006, 02:10 AM
David Nalbandian would be a horseshoe maker

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-08-2006, 02:14 AM
Federer would be a skier
Rainer S. would be a skier too
Radek Stepanek would be a ballet dacer or peanut boy
Andre would be a hairdresser or a boxer like hid father or politician.
Nalby would work for MC Donalds
Jiri Novak would sell Czech dumplings in some Czech restaurant

slice bh compliment
06-08-2006, 03:55 AM
Mardy Fish would be a fraternity boy....for a living. Or a roadie for Jimmy Buffet.

Henman would be a financial analyst. I bet he would be a really good teacher or professor.

Guga would be a great and compassionate chef/restaurateur who feeds the homeless late at night. He'd actually be good at running a school, too.

McEnroe would have to be a musician. Becker, an opera singer.

Roddick would do well in sales.

Gimel would be the highest grossing car salesman in the tri-state area. Or he'd be a hanger-onner at Hollywood parties.

For some reason, I picture Vilas as a sales manager who becomes jealous of his staff's success. Every night after work, he would meet his cross-town rival, Pat Cash for many beers at a strip club or a bar known for serving underage chicks.

Safin could write for sure, I liked the bit about the smashed pen. He'd do well as a bartender, too.

Blake would run a hedge fund and be a teaching pro.

Djokovic would move to East London and open up a coffee house that would lose money every month. He would work half days and claim to be in total control of the books each month.

Noah would be that really hip old dude who hangs out at the corner grocery and has lived a great life.

Patrick Rafter would be a great and charismatic teacher.

Andre would be the MC of a circus. Or a trial lawyer >> politician.

Pete would be an accountant.

Rafa Nadal would play soccer in the Champion's league. Then he would go to university and become a PR guy for a politician...'cause he's good with the spin.

dirtballer
06-08-2006, 04:22 AM
Many years ago I remember Eddie Dibbs saying that if weren't a professional tennis player he would be bagging groceries.

spaceman_spiff
06-08-2006, 04:33 AM
They all would have the same old jobs as everyone else, but they would drive all their friends and coworkers mad with their never-ending stories of how they almost made it as a pro athlete.

Oh, and for all the good looking Russian girls, they would make the most money working in the strip clubs of Moscow and St. Petersburg, though some of them would still choose the same old boring jobs other girls that age do (e.g., bookkeeping). However, some rich businessman might want to hire one as his personal assistant, in which case she would make more money but would probably have to fight off his and others' advances.

Nuke
06-08-2006, 04:36 AM
Bagdhadis could play drums in a Beatles tribute band -- he's got the Ringo look down.

007
06-08-2006, 05:10 AM
Feliciano Lopez would be a tranny

Manda_D
06-08-2006, 05:17 AM
Feli Lopez will be a professional male model for calvin klein and his big break will come when he discovers his own 'blue steel' look.

Andy Roddick, Mardy Fish and the Bryan brothers will create an all american boy band.. they will have 1 hit then disappear forever.

diegaa
06-08-2006, 05:30 AM
Coria would be a magician or a juggler, Vilas a public relations agent, Rios a truck driver, Karlovic a delivery boy, Ljubo a chief accountant.
what else? oh yeah! spadea a barman in a rap/hip hop place and melzer would be a gigolo, and in his free time he would chase spaniards teenagers.
:mrgreen:

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-08-2006, 06:32 AM
Henman would be a dentist
and Stepanek would be a sexologist.

vive le beau jeu !
06-08-2006, 06:45 AM
Henman would be a dentist
and Stepanek would be a sexologist.
fortunately not the contrary !!! :D
and i don't mean that i don't see henman as a sexologist... :rolleyes:

vkartikv
06-08-2006, 06:48 AM
Nadal - fruit vendor

Gugafan_Redux
06-08-2006, 07:06 AM
Radek Stepanek would be a ballet dacer or peanut boy

:confused:

http://bobbleheads.no/catalog/images/peanut.jpg

Gugafan_Redux
06-08-2006, 07:12 AM
Gimel would be the highest grossing car salesman in the tri-state area. Or he'd be a hanger-onner at Hollywood parties.

Djokovic would move to East London and open up a coffee house that would lose money every month. He would work half days and claim to be in total control of the books each month.

These two are great. First is spot on, second is hilarious.

:D

johnkidd
06-08-2006, 07:19 AM
Safin....Pornstar

Borg....tennisplayer (he wasn't the best businessman when he tried it)

McEnroe....baseball player (he supposedly played some through high school and had a nasty lefty curve.

Gugafan_Redux
06-08-2006, 07:22 AM
By the way, I play guitar, and I've heard Johnny Mac play guitar. He would not be a musician. Sorry, JMac!

Kevin-H
06-08-2006, 09:57 AM
This is from this year's Australian Open pictures. I have to say I find it very convincing.

http://www.atptennis.com/en/players/gallery/photos/012906/pic-01-29-06-n25-g.jpg

BabolatFan
06-08-2006, 10:44 AM
Rafa and Feliciano would open up a flower shop.

sureshs
06-08-2006, 10:47 AM
Venus and Serena would be doing something in Hollywood, for sure.

007
06-08-2006, 10:49 AM
that pic of Kiefer grilling bratwursts along the Yarra River is sooooo cheeseball I can't stop laughing.......makes me crave a cold Beck's (the beer)

Feņa14
06-08-2006, 11:20 AM
Hrbaty would be a professional marathon runner.

Gonzalez would be a clown, if they let him out the mental hospice.

Tursunov would work for a womans magazine writing gossip columns.

vkartikv
06-08-2006, 11:21 AM
Serena Williams - liposuction nurse/assistant

slice bh compliment
06-08-2006, 12:00 PM
Feliciano Lopez would be a tranny

Man, that is hysterical!

sureshs
06-08-2006, 12:01 PM
If the TW posters had to get a real job, what would it be ?

vkartikv
06-08-2006, 12:05 PM
If the TW posters had to get a real job, what would it be ?

They wouldn't, it would be like George Costanza in the Boyfriend.

slice bh compliment
06-08-2006, 12:50 PM
If the TW posters had to get a real job, what would it be ?

That's actually a hell of an idea for a thread. Odds and ends or shall we do it here?

I'm not quite qualified, but I think one of you more active posters (Hall of Famers) ought to make a list of posters. Then everyone can fill in the would-be occupations.

sureshs
06-08-2006, 12:54 PM
That's actually a hell of an idea for a thread. Odds and ends or shall we do it here?

I'm not quite qualified, but I think one of you more active posters (Hall of Famers) ought to make a list of posters. Then everyone can fill in the would-be occupations.

I know. I wanted to start the thread but didn't know where to put it.

Why don't you start it in this section and see whether it gets moved? Then people can follow us from here to wherever it lands up. This is one of the most popular areas. There will be a few "wrong section" posts but we can live with it.

slice bh compliment
06-08-2006, 02:12 PM
You're on, but forgive me, I am not so qualified. Not truly a constant around here. More of a stick and move guy. Not really familiar with the regulars.

Rather than making a poster roster (which would certainly exclude deserving targets, I mean people) ... I think it would be best to just start.

Off the top of my head:

Raftermania is a student and a part timer at a tennis club from what I gather. I'd have guessed that, but I am going with: English teacher and theater critic.

yours!05: writer.

Dedan's Penthouse, theater critic. Kidding. Comedy writer.

Kaptain Karl, conservative radio show host.

donnydarko, student. Film and tv.

vkartikv, business major.

AndrewD: tennis club manager.

Bungalo Bill: www.tennisplayer.net (http://www.tennisplayer.net) head.

Andy Guazzelli is a night owl and tennis club rat. Up late doing his duty ... to please that booty.

Pusher Terminator is a student, getting his phd in logic and reasoning.

This is weird, since a few of us have come to learn a good bit about eachother. So it is not entirely speculative....and not entirely funny. Phase one done. Hoping for better stuff from the rest of you. If not, let's just go back to thinking of what the pros would be doing.

Feli Lopez would be a tranny. hahaha that still kills me.
Thomas Muster would be the city's most persistent realtor.
Jimmy Connors would be the whining lawyer type. Sorry lawyers, I happen to know a few lawyers who are Momma's boys.
Goran Ivanisevic would've been a really impatient, funny soccer coach.
Jan-Mike would be in design. Either apparel or interior. Or hair. Maybe automobiles.
Paging Doctor Ivo, Dr. Ivo, please call the delivery room.

Gotta go.

sureshs
06-08-2006, 02:15 PM
vkartikv, business major.


I thought he was a civil engineer.

slice bh compliment
06-08-2006, 02:18 PM
I thought he was a civil engineer.

I was just making that up. He seems so business like, that's all.

vkartikv
06-08-2006, 02:40 PM
I was just making that up. He seems so business like, that's all.

Thanks, now if you could offer me an MBA degree with that ;)

BabolatFan
06-08-2006, 02:42 PM
OK Rafa and Feliciano shut down their flower shop and would go into the Salami business.

vkartikv
06-08-2006, 02:48 PM
OK Rafa and Feliciano shut down their flower shop and would go into the Salami business.

Wouldn't that be another candidate for stuck-in-the-throat-while-swallowing?

slice bh compliment
06-08-2006, 05:19 PM
Thanks, now if you could offer me an MBA degree with that ;)

hhhaahah, the ubiquitous MBA degree.
No big deal, vkv....you're already a Hall of Famer here! Congrats, man. I may get there one day. Then I will be able to focus on a Master's degree of my own -- in a field known as forum-based tennis-centric studies. Serious resume candy, dude. You ought to use it. Go ahead.

Skppr05
06-08-2006, 06:08 PM
Venus would end up Maury alot (dont think thats really a job) and Sharapova would be working for Entertainment magazine trying to get dirt on hollywood stars...shes tall enough to see over thier secretive bushes

BabolatFan
06-08-2006, 06:54 PM
Wouldn't that be another candidate for stuck-in-the-throat-while-swallowing?

LMAO!

raftermania
06-14-2006, 11:58 PM
Hi Slice, I just ran into this thread. I thought Yours! was a writer too lol! I'm sad to admit it but you mixed me and Donnie up. I'm going to film school.

Andres
06-15-2006, 05:11 AM
Andy Guazzelli is a night owl and tennis club rat. Up late doing his duty ... to please that booty.
LMAO!!! :mrgreen:

croatian sensation
06-15-2006, 05:11 AM
Coria would be a magician or a juggler, Vilas a public relations agent, Rios a truck driver, Karlovic a delivery boy, Ljubo a chief accountant.
what else? oh yeah! spadea a barman in a rap/hip hop place and melzer would be a gigolo, and in his free time he would chase spaniards teenagers.
:mrgreen:

Actually I can imagine Guille pulling a rabbit from a hat and Rios driving a truck. :mrgreen:

Rickson
06-15-2006, 06:11 AM
Nadal = personal trainer
Vaidisova = porn star
Safin = bartender
Roddick = rodeo clown
Federer = stunt double for Tarantino
Sharapova = stripper

theace21
06-15-2006, 06:52 AM
McEnroe would be a stand-up comedian...

"so I told her...you CANNOT be serious..." :D
Or a game show host or have his own talk show...I think I am the only one who watched his TV shows...

Dedans Penthouse
06-15-2006, 07:44 AM
Tarrantino = Fed
Rickson: Tarrantino & Fed (good eye).
----------------------------------------

Not to be "picky" but Nadal? Protologist.

Richard Gasquet: Fencing instructor.

Serena Williams: "Steel-toe" model for Doc Martens; "H" back, Oakland Raiders.

Steffi Graf: Dominatrix for Gunther Parche and Michael Haller.

Andy Roddick: 6th year college student (on < "2.0" academic probation).

Anna Kornakova: Circus Performer/sword swallower; official spokesperson for the University of Southern California's athletics' moniker.

Jennifer Capriati: Organic hippie (totally happy & at peace w/herself).

Elena Dementieva: Lead singer/rhythm guitarist in a Tom Petty tribute band.

Barbara Schett: Dedans Penthouse's not-so-coy-full-of-joy-make-me-go-OI! "boy toy."

Sania Mirza: Belly Dancer.

Illie Nastase: Corpulent, second runner-up in the Nathan's 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island (behind the great Kobayashi of Japan and Anna Kornakova).

David Nalbandian: John Q. Public, pedestrian.

Justine Henin-Hardenne: Traffic Cop.

Venus Williams: Actress; lead role in "The Sugar Ray Leonard Story."

Ivan Lendl: Dentist.

Jimmy Connors: Associate Editor, Penthouse Magazine.

Lee
06-15-2006, 07:50 AM
james blake: espn broadcastor
andy roddick: hosting late-night tv show
dmitry tursnov: disco club DJ
feliciano lopez: fashion designer
verdasco: professional womanizer at club space, ibiza
nadal: soccer player or boxer
federer: i can see him running a business, and i'd love to work for him, CEO material

slice bh compliment
06-15-2006, 07:56 AM
Hi Slice, I just ran into this thread. I thought Yours! was a writer too lol! I'm sad to admit it but you mixed me and Donnie up. I'm going to film school.

Hey kid, yeah, Yours!05 has got to be in writing or editing.
raftermania, I thought you were undergrad. So cool. Film school and a tennis coach. Nice, creative gigs, man.

slice bh compliment
06-15-2006, 08:01 AM
...Not to be "picky" but Nadal? Protologist.

...Jennifer Capriati: Organic hippie (totally happy & at peace w/herself).

Elena Dementieva: Lead singer/rhythm guitarist in a Tom Petty tribute band....
Sania Mirza: Belly Dancer....
Justine Henin-Hardenne: Traffic Cop....
Venus Williams: Actress; lead role in "The Sugar Ray Leonard Story."....

Great stuff, man.

Nadal as Proctologist (Doctor of the bum) CRACKED me up.
Loved Officer Justine, with THE HAND.
Hey, you know who could fill-in nicely if ever Dementieva's sick? Navratilova, when she's not touring with her John Denver tribute band, "Kuntry Road".

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-15-2006, 08:10 AM
Lleyton and Roddick could be singers. (btw they have proved it..)

slice bh compliment
06-15-2006, 08:28 AM
Lleyton and Roddick could be singers. (btw they have proved it..)

Maybe Lleyton's agent can book him for a half-hour music and variety show called Survivor Reviver, in which Lleyton lip-synchs extended versions of "Eye of the Tiger" and "Sister Christian" with a drum solo and everything.

Roddick's people are already in talks with Seann William Scott for a pseudo punk band called Stifler's Mojo. Basically, they sound just like all the other whiteboy bands of the day. A ton of teenage chicks show up, bob their heads and hold their ears until the show's over. Backstage passes for everybody!

raftermania
06-15-2006, 08:50 AM
Hey kid, yeah, Yours!05 has got to be in writing or editing.
raftermania, I thought you were undergrad. So cool. Film school and a tennis coach. Nice, creative gigs, man.

haha, well one of them is not officially a gig yet. Thanks.

Frenchie
06-15-2006, 09:23 PM
Oh so playing professional tennis isn't a "real" job?

btw, federer already does own a company: Federer Cosmetics

ShooterMcMarco
06-16-2006, 12:20 AM
Elena Dementieva: Lead singer/rhythm guitarist in a Tom Petty tribute band.


now that you've pointed it out, I can kinda see a resemblance

superman1
06-16-2006, 01:34 AM
Roddick for sure is the easiest one. He'd be an actor in a bunch of raunchy teen comedy films. But after a few big hits and a lot of hype he'd burn out and only make mediocre movies. He'd still remain at the top of Hollywood though because once a year he'd release a big hit, but it would always open #2 to Quentin Tarantino's latest movie.

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-16-2006, 01:41 AM
pete Sampras could be an actor, here is a proof

http://st.blog.cz/a/andreagassi.blog.cz/obrazky/163908.jpg

or golf player

http://st.blog.cz/a/andreagassi.blog.cz/obrazky/302936.jpg

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-16-2006, 01:46 AM
John a rock star

http://st.blog.cz/a/andreagassi.blog.cz/obrazky/416572.jpg

http://st.blog.cz/a/andreagassi.blog.cz/obrazky/283250.jpg

dh003i
06-16-2006, 05:25 AM
I dislike the premise of the question. "If the pros had to get a 'real job'," somehow implying that their job isn't a real job? Like they're some parasitic politician, a king or a queen or royalty or something?

Most likely, they work harder than the vast majority of people who have these so-called "real jobs," which I take to typically mean blue-collar jobs.

What this is is jealousy.

Manda_D
06-16-2006, 05:35 AM
I dislike the premise of the question. "If the pros had to get a 'real job'," somehow implying that their job isn't a real job? Like they're some parasitic politician, a king or a queen or royalty or something?

Most likely, they work harder than the vast majority of people who have these so-called "real jobs," which I take to typically mean blue-collar jobs.

What this is is jealousy.


*sighs* i think what they mean is if they werent a tennis player what would there job be!

dh003i
06-16-2006, 05:42 AM
oh, ok, well that's fine. I just had a gut reaction to the title of the OP, I guess.

I agree. Sampras would be an actor.

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-16-2006, 08:27 AM
I dislike the premise of the question. "If the pros had to get a 'real job'," somehow implying that their job isn't a real job? Like they're some parasitic politician, a king or a queen or royalty or something?

Most likely, they work harder than the vast majority of people who have these so-called "real jobs," which I take to typically mean blue-collar jobs.

What this is is jealousy.
yes it is jealousy. If Henman was dentist or whatever he would be jelaous too, and wanted to be a tennis player to make much much much much more money..:rolleyes:

Dedans Penthouse
06-16-2006, 10:19 AM
Great stuff, man.

Nadal as Proctologist (Doctor of the bum) CRACKED me up.
Loved Officer Justine, with THE HAND.
Hey, you know who could fill-in nicely if ever Dementieva's sick? Navratilova, when she's not touring with her John Denver tribute band, "Kuntry Road".
Navratilova unfortunately is tied up at present filming a series of commercials for "Snap-on-Tools"

devila
06-16-2006, 01:57 PM
Federer- Egomaniac gets locked up in a mental institution for blubbering incessantly in front of Fatass Mirka.
Nadal- Writer.
Author of "I Win. Federer and Fans Are Modest and Smart, No?"
Roddick- Fat chef, humanitarian, actor, award winning comedian. It makes up for not having the physical gifts of the Egomaniac
Hewitt- Marries 5 wives and has 10 unathletic children
Ljubicic- Scientist. After he receives a brain transplant.

RadekStepanekTheKing
06-17-2006, 12:06 AM
Federer- Egomaniac gets locked up in a mental institution for blubbering incessantly in front of Fatass Mirka.
Nadal- Writer.
Author of "I Win. Federer and Fans Are Modest and Smart, No?"
Roddick- Fat chef, humanitarian, actor, award winning comedian. It makes up for not having the physical gifts of the Egomaniac
Hewitt- Marries 5 wives and has 10 unathletic children
Ljubicic- Scientist. After he receives a brain transplant.

:D

Chang
06-17-2006, 04:02 AM
Mariano Puerta can be a drug dealer.
Vincent Spadea should be a gangsta rapper. V-UNIT.

slice bh compliment
06-17-2006, 05:48 AM
Pastor Michael Chang.

emcee
06-17-2006, 06:23 AM
Sampras and Edberg should be poker players!
Roddick would try to be a rock star and fail.
Serena would be all around Hollywood...oh wait she already is!
Sharapova would be a young Lindsay Lohan-type actress until she grows up and can't handle any role where she was to be over 17.
V-Spade would be a miserable rapper.
Hantuchova would be a model with an eating disorder.
Guga would be an elementary school teacher that everyone loves.
Safin would be an obscure avant-garde poet best known for his penchant for breaking pens. He'd also get drunk and laid a lot.