I hit with the ball machine today and practiced some serves, and due to all your advice, focused on aiming towards the ball with the buttcap till the last second with a relaxed wrist and arm, and also the kinetic chain.
I probably had solid contact and heard the 'pop' about 40% of the time, which is about 39% of the time more than I usually do, so this is indeed progress. When I connected well the balls were really flying off the court more than usual for me. The most surprising part was that the backhand (one-hander) was also popping fairly often. That's an entirely new and addictive experience for me. I never get the pop on the backhand in my life before today. I discovered that leading with the buttcap towards the ball on the backhand and letting it fly at the last second was an entirely different feeling than I'm used to. Once that happened a few times, I began to notice how tight my arm and wrist were when I didn't do that.
Though the forehand was more likely to get a pop, especially when I took the ball slightly earlier, the biggest problem was when I laid the wrist back I was often late and would mishit entirely. I assume that there is a part of my kinetic chain that is lagging or late. Probably opening the shoulders or hips too soon.
I also practiced serves with the pronation mentioned in the video. It took a little while, but eventually I started getting a few pops and the balls were flying off the court. I have never ever gotten a pop on the serve in my life before, so again this is new territory.
It's going to take some time and practice with this, but I think that once I get used to it I will get the pop, and obviously more solid contact with the ball, on a more consistent basis.
By starting this thread with this question I wasn't really expecting to get such results so quickly. Wow. Hats off to you guys.