Basalt Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by J011yroger, Mar 31, 2013.

  1. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Debuted my awesome shorts today. Mr. Pickle only thought I looked absurd on Sunday.

    And I was wondering when I would ever get to wear my pink Brooks Brothers sweater.

    J
     
  2. Relinquis

    Relinquis Hall of Fame

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    debuted on court?
     
  3. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    No, just casually.

    I wouldn't play in them.

    J
     
  4. Relinquis

    Relinquis Hall of Fame

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    cool... was once almost denied entry into a restaurant due to wearing shorts... luckily i had a pretty nice blazer on and managed to charm my way in...
     
  5. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    I think you would love my plaid navy blazer.

    J
     
  6. TomT

    TomT Hall of Fame

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    Why not? I often wear surfboarding shorts. I believe that it confuses the opponent.
     
  7. TomT

    TomT Hall of Fame

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    By the way, on the subject of your new shorts, they resemble the 'madras' shirts, shorts, etc. that were all the rage back in the day (in the '60s) at my high school.
     
  8. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    They are cotton, with pockets unfit for holding tennis balls, and not cut for athletic movement.

    J
     
  9. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    What do you mean were?

    Madras is classic American style. The sad fact that the populace is cluttered with uncultured louts doesn't change that.

    "Fashions fade, style is eternal." - Yves Saint Laurent

    J
     
  10. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Sorry for the lack of updates, I am starting to shake off the death plague.

    Will make some tea, and put up another couple of chapters tonight.


    J
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2013
  11. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Pickle lept from the craft to greet me, a broad grin spread across his youthful face. I found the cargo hold packed nearly to capacity with the supplies of the others, but wasted no time hurling my cargo canister in, and slamming the hatch shut.

    "Whew, that was close." I confided in Pickle as he risked a glance at the small crowd which still lingered outside of the closed establishment.

    I piled into the craft, and the anti-matter engines spooled to life. In my compromised condition I was not at the time particularly worried about Dennis' ability to pilot the ship. Once I was secured in my harness we blasted off to find our lodging base.

    Within seconds the glowing indicator of our temporary base was within sight...

    J
     
  12. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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  13. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    We unleashed our cargo from the hold, and made our way to the office in order to negotiate for a temporary base of operations.

    Pickle had made our intentions known long ago, and spoke the secret password to the agent at the desk who then took all necessary actions to secure us a base. He was a pleasant man, as pleasant as anyone could be expected to be at 3:30 in the morning at their job.

    Magnetic entry cards secured, we made our way to the base.

    I followed behind Pickle, and The Immortal, yielding to their navigation skills at this hour, and in short order the two of them had uncovered the entry point to our secret temporary base.

    Pickle and The Immortal stopped near the entry point in order to survey the base, while I, showing my trademark brazenness dashed forth into the base, and secured the premium locations for my cargo.

    The two of them began to discuss the merits of various sleeping arrangements while I wasted no time in beginning to strip off my clothes. Utilizing duplicity and underhanded tactics, I secured the majority of the hangers and hanging space for myself, making certain to store my sweater, shirt, and jeans in a manner that would ensure their remaining in crease free condition, then hung my garment bag nearby.

    I stood in my boxer shorts, rummaging through my cargo canister to find my sleeping suit when the notion of pushing the two beds together was raised. I deferred to their judgement with a shrug, and donned my scarlet colored Ralph Lauren pajama pants emblazoned with an over-sized horse, and similarly colored "Roger That!" t-shirt.

    As Pickle and The Immortal prepared to push the beds together, moving the nightstand and plotting their actions, I spied a prime piece of real estate on the bed just near the wall, and with a resounding thud collapsed upon it claiming it as my own.

    Not interested in anything else that would transpire in the waking world this day, I battled my way beneath the covers, and nodded off in short order.

    J
     
  14. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    I GOATed Pickle this morning.

    Epic.
     
  15. Mike Bulgakov

    Mike Bulgakov Semi-Pro

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    The Motel 6 smoke detector had a spy camera inside, and I had the misfortune of seeing the photo of Jolly, Joel, Pickle, and Dennis in bed together. I am not sure who is who.
    [​IMG]
     
  16. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    When I was in Vegas last week a friend of mine of 30 years admitted that he had a 9 month relationship with a girl that looked just like Mila K. But, he later found out she was previously a man. I dunno how that happens.

    But anyway, I'm first on the left. That's me.
     
  17. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Good, I have a streak that needs breaking.

    Despite Karma trying to force me into prolonging it.

    J
     
  18. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    One eye peeled open, and then the second. My world was a blur. Disoriented I blinked several times to clear the film from my optical receptors. Slowly my internal data banks began to compile, and I remembered where I was and what had transpired the night before.

    Closing one eye to enhance my vision, I scanned the area, noting that The Immortal had ended up in bed with me. Fighting my way free of the oppressive covers, I heard stirring and some unintelligible vocalization from Pickle at the far end of the bed. "What time is it?" I croaked, my vocal chords in dire condition due to lack of lubrication.

    "Eight...Thirty?" he mustered sleepily.

    I grunted with displeasure and determination, my internal clock which usually wakes be by 5:30 at the latest having failed me this day. I fought off the rest of the oppressive blankets to stand on wobbly legs resplendent in my sleepwear. After a brief visit to the hydrostatic decompression chamber to regulate my internal pressure I returned to see that my companions had shaken off the grip of slumber.

    A mild thumping resonated through my head, as if a very small man with a ball-pein hammer was trying to keep a metronomic beat inside of my cranium. It had been some time since I had experienced such a thing, but it was nothing that would hamper me, and nothing that a bit of coffee wouldn't cure.

    "Let's get this dog and pony show on the road." I decreed, glad to see that instinct had taken over the night before and that I had plugged my com device into the charging port though I had no recollection of such action.

    "Who's going in first?" Pickle queried.

    "I am good, I showered before I left the New York system." You go. I decreed.

    With a nod, the disheveled Pickle staggered into the sanitation area, taking with him his small bag of toiletries.

    Working with skill, I patched my portable mainframe through the base's wireless network, and logged into the book of face for I knew my people needed me. Discreetly I hacked into the TTW Senate forum to see how the protest of my ban was coming along. I had no intention of becoming a martyr, and so it was with pleasure that I noted the shock and confusion that resonated through the forums at the unjust revocation of my standing.

    Pickle emerged from the sanitation chamber preceded by a roiling cloud of steam, and The Immortal sprang into action like a bolt of lightning. Pickle requested permission to partake in my toothpaste having made the amateurish mistake of forgetting to equip himself properly.

    In what seemed like no more than forty five seconds, The Immortal emerged from the sanitation chamber perfectly clean. Pickle and I exchanged looks of confusion as to how any human being could shower so quickly. Shrugging in acceptance of his obviously advanced and super efficient technique, we went on with our preparations.

    I summoned up the Spotify player on my portable main frame, and flooded our base with the sweet sounds of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. As Rondo Alla Turca melodically emanated from the speakers of my portable mainframe I smiled with pleasure. Pickle looked upon me with confusion, and The Immortal nodded with approval. I would inflict culture upon Pickle regardless of any resistance he mounted.

    Sweet tunage in place, I made my preparations. Quickly, I scraped the barnacles from my teeth, and then with adroit maneuvering of my hand carved tortoise shell comb, got the majority of my hair pointing in the same direction.

    I donned my jet black shorts, and teal 2009 Federer polo. This day I chose to wear girly short socks instead of proper crew socks in order to achieve maximum exposure to the glorious rays of the sun. I laced up my gleaming new Vapors, equipped my timepiece, holstered my com device, and grasped a fistfull of credits.

    My sabers stowed in my Wilson backpack, I looked around to my two similarly equipped companions. We knew that it would be many hours before Dennis could rouse himself, and that we needed to get a head start on the mission.

    The time had come for the three of us to hit the dusty trail, and so on foot we set out.

    J
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2013
  19. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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  20. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Gettin' raw until the day I see my casket.
     
  21. TomT

    TomT Hall of Fame

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    I gonna try to find some with bigger, tennis-ball-ready pockets. I like them for tennis. Perhaps with a white T-shirt with a breast pocket for my ciggies.

    Interesting point. Anyway, I haven't seen it much since high school.

    Duh. :)

    Oh dear, I just had an alarming thought. Pehaps it is I, and not my opponents, who is/are confused. :)

    Nice work on the serial J. I'm liking it for future publication in perhaps a tennis oriented literary version of Mental Floss magazine. (Note: I could be way off on that association.)
     
  22. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Bonus points awarded.

    J
     
  23. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    As I was delving into my shorts drawer, I unearthed a pair which I had bought a couple of years ago because they were amazing. I have never worn them because they just don't fit me right.

    It is taking all that I've got to come to grips with the idea of handing over a $175 pair of shorts to Pickle, but he is the only friend I have who they might fit.

    My posterior and quads simply have too much amplitude to fit comfortably in them, so perhaps his less muscular lower half will be able to do them justice.

    Welcome to the awesome plaid shorts brotherhood buddy.

    J
     
  24. Pickle9

    Pickle9 Semi-Pro

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  25. Fuji

    Fuji Legend

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    /dying of laughter

    -Fuji
     
  26. Fuji

    Fuji Legend

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    I can't wait to delve into more chapters of GOAThood by Jolly soon...

    -Fuji
     
  27. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Will try to do more tonight.

    J
     
  28. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    I'm in peril! Should have brought my **** whistle.

    J
     
  29. Disgruntled Worker

    Disgruntled Worker Rookie

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    Mike Myers looks like Jimmy Fallon in that gif
     
  30. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Any top tier 4.5 could get a game off Seppi.
     
  31. Chace

    Chace Semi-Pro

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    Maybe even a set if he's serving well.
     
  32. MikeHitsHard93

    MikeHitsHard93 Hall of Fame

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    Jolly is by far the most interesting man in the world.

    You have great talent, vision, and literary prowess sir!
     
  33. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Whenever I hear that Skyscraper song I think of J011y and how he has inspired a vast number of 3.5-4.0 players to reach for the stars and follow their GOAT dreams. Like a Skyscraper.
     
  34. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    If J011y was a girl I'd marry it and GOAT it.
     
  35. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    My right forearm didn't fit through the sleeve of the shirt I wanted to wear today. Guess Mr. Pickle gets another.


    J
     
  36. BounceHitBounceHit

    BounceHitBounceHit Legend

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    Do you have the Laver-esque imbalance of right and left? ;) BHBH
     
  37. Pickle9

    Pickle9 Semi-Pro

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    Yes but it is not from tennis...
     
  38. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    The deadbolt released with a metallic clunk, and The Immortal opened the portal, allowing the light of day to spill into our chambers. The three of us strode brazenly out into the warm Florida sun, smiling to be out of the bitter cold of the New York system.

    We knew it would be hours yet before Dennis could muster an appreciable level of consciousness and functionality, so we set out on foot.

    Our natural athleticism allowed us to traverse the terrain with speed despite being on foot, and with maps from Google Mainframe beamed down into our com devices, we were able to deftly navigate the small town.

    I grinned as I noticed a beaten down pub across the street, knowing full well that it was the sort of place where memories were made. Another block traversed revealed a supply depot of the supermarket variety, and knowing that supplies would soon be needed we made a detour.

    Pickle and The Immortal let their impetuousness get the better of them, and rushed into the supply depot. I a seasoned veteran of many procurement missions, kept my head about me, and requisitioned a rolling cargo cage before entering knowing the burden of supplies would be too much to carry by hand.

    We made our way winding through the depot and commissioned local and imported produce; plums, bananas, and oranges. These fruits were supplemented with mixed nuts, and for hydration purposes we procured a case of water, and several half gallon containers of Gatoraid. I looked upon the toxic substance Gatoraid which had been foisted upon the masses as necessary battle supplementation. I would not partake in the corporate charade to poison the masses with excessive sugar and burdensome pricing in return for no actual benefit.

    I was under-caffeinated, and was lost within the depths of my own mind, and so did not notice the cause for our company halting, and engaging immediately an elder gentleman nearly thirty feet away.

    After a moment, I realized that I was walking alone as my companions made haste towards the gentleman, and so I hurriedly turned the wheeled cage, and made speed to rejoin them in case we needed to perpetuate violence upon this man.

    As I approached, I could tell from the body language of my companions that they intended to interrogate this man for information, and not murder him in the aisles of the supply depot.

    We cornered the man, pinning him up against an orange stand, and I sealed off his only route of escape with the cargo cage. Suddenly I realized why it was that we were interrogating this particular denizen, as he wore a "Nike Tennis" shirt, and tennis shoes.

    Knowing my strengths, I hung back and let them do the talking. I was not the most silver tongued man in the cosmos, especially not before I fed my Kaf addiction, which served to curb my general disdain for humanity.

    "He is taking too long to answer the questions, he is lying, kill him!" the voice in my head pleaded. I grasped the handle of the cargo cage my corded muscles flexing, but I summoned patience as information began to flow from our prisoner.

    He told us that battle grounds were nearby, but they would be occupied completely until noon, with many of the combatants being French folk. He claimed that they were likely no match for us however. The Immortal quickly picked up on his duplicity, and attempt to escape with his life through use of flattery, and asked how he knew such a thing.

    The man quickly realized that the conversation was not going in a favorable direction, and tried to weasel his way to freedom saying that we looked to be at least 5.0 level combat legionnaires.

    Having enough of his cryptic directions, and ominous fortellings, we let the man escape, and he scampered off.

    We made our way to the paying station, and each of us offered forth a fistful of credits. As our purchases were being compartmentalized, I cornered a youngish female in the employ of the supply depot. "I need coffee." I confided in her, the slight tremble in my voice accentuating the urgency of my situation.

    "We have coffee in the bakery section, it is nothing fancy, $1 per cup." she told me nearly apologetically.

    What was it about me that caused people to constantly think that I would not tolerate common things, and only partook in finery? Shrugging, I doffed my satchel, handing it over to my companions. I instructed them to divide the supply payload between the three of our backpacks, that we may evenly share the burden, while I went to investigate this non-fancy coffee.

    Leaving them at the front of the depot, I made my way to the baked goods department, and located the station of which the lady spoke. There was a coffee machine, as well as two crusty pots which carried the acrid aroma of overbaked Kaf.

    I was desperate, but not that desperate.

    J
     
  39. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    [​IMG]

    JR, and The Immortal, on foot, in search of provisions.

    Photocredit: Pickle.

    J
     
  40. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    [​IMG]

    Dubious bar...

    J
     
  41. corbind

    corbind Professional

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    This is such a fun thread! I just spent an hour this morning reading this stuff much to the dismay of the task-master. Jolly bring forth more of the story soon...

    • There are only six people in the world world who know how to use a semicolon
    • There are only three who actively use it
    • There is only one Jolly ;)
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2013
  42. Pickle9

    Pickle9 Semi-Pro

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    My plaid shorts guided my giblets to victory last night. Playing #2 seed tonight at 6pm.

    I did not have any chicks last night.
     
  43. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Whom must I petition in order to have Led Zepplin "Rock and Roll" instated as my theme song?

    J
     
  44. TomT

    TomT Hall of Fame

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    Petitioning isn't necessarily necessary. It can be established 'de facto' as your musical theme, much like common law marriage or the rounding up of usual suspects. :confused:
     
  45. rdis10093

    rdis10093 Hall of Fame

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    I am also now officially caught up on this thread, but I am a bit sad by the miller light part. I always imagined you as a scotch type of guy. although 15ish of anything is impressive.
     
  46. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Oh, I am quite the scotch drinker. In my early 20s I wouldn't be caught dead drinking a **** water beer. Now I don't mind drinking it with a burger or wings in a casual place, or after tennis. In a nice place I will drink a good scotch or bourbon, or with some friends. My vodka days are mostly behind me, but I will partake if the occasion merits it. Gin on a hot summer day, cognac on a cold and miserable day, red wine whenever, white if I must, bubbly when the occasion merits.

    J
     
  47. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Oh, and if you were wondering, my vote of best scotch for the $ is Lagavulin 16. Followed by The Dalmore, Grand Reserve.

    J
     
  48. rdis10093

    rdis10093 Hall of Fame

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    I'm in my early 20s so unless it is craft beer or Guinness, I go for the scotch. my vote for best money to value ratio goes to black label j walker. as soon as the semester ends and I sell my text books I'm going straight to the store for blue label.

    neat though right?
     
  49. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Neat, yes. Blue Label is overpriced imo.

    J
     
  50. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    Well, usually neat; sometimes with a few drops of water to open it up, and some of the more economical ones need a cube or two.

    J
     

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