Called out for poor behavior today!

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by bluetrain4, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. bluetrain4

    bluetrain4 Legend

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    I'm a really nice guy, seriously. But, when playing tennis, I can get obnoxious. Not all the time, but sometimes Today, I was playing a guy I know from my racquet club but had never played in singles. I was playing awful in the first set and started muttering loudly to myself, hit a few balls hard across the net and into the back tarp after losing a point, threw my racquet against the tarp from a close distance, but pretty hard, and was generally acting like a child.

    My opponent threw up his hands, and said "that's it, I'm through." I can understand his annoyance, but I was surprised he'd actually want to stop. I play singles regularly with a couple of guys who can be obnoxious just like me to varying degrees, and we generally just laugh at each other's antics when it's all over.

    But, anyway, I took his disgust to heart. As he came to the net to collect his stuff, I simply asked him to give me another chance. I said, "I'm genuinely sorry, you're right, it's immature and obnoxious, I'll stop." He explained to me that obnoxious players is one of the reasons he stopped playing in certain leagues. Is he maybe a little oversensitive? Maybe, but I totally think he had a legit point. I mean, I am an adult and should know better. During a change over, and the end of the match, I apologized again, and told him it was a good wake up call.

    And, I actually played much better thereafter (though, in all honesty, I have freaked out in the past and still played well).

    But, anyway, lesson learned.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2013
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  2. Overdrive

    Overdrive Legend

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  3. asusundevils1971

    asusundevils1971 Rookie

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    The ATP tour is waiting for someone like you..
     
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  4. NLBwell

    NLBwell Legend

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    If he's going to quit every time someone acts like that, he won't be playing much tennis.
    Yes, it was bad behavior (yes, I'm guilty of it, too). Try not to do it anymore, because it isn't right.
     
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  5. TTMR

    TTMR Hall of Fame

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    Your opponent is of the "new breed" of tennis player that feel the need to be politically correct and try to act like a saint on and off court at all times. I guess they fear bad publicity in this media-driven world.

    The tennis community needs more Macs, Connors', Nastases and Rios'. Remember that women like the bad boy racquet smashers like Marat Safin. They care nothing for the calm stolidity of a John Isner. To whom would you rather be akin?

    Your incident reminds me of the time after I lost (6-0, 6-2) my opponent refused to shake my hand because I told him he just got lucky and that I was off my game. People's egos are so fragile.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2013
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  6. bluetrain4

    bluetrain4 Legend

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    Well, yeah, as I said, I thought he was being oversensitive. Lots of players, including adults, can be obnoxious to varying degrees on the court. Obviously it can be annoying and unpleasant, but enough to quit? But, it's his standard, and he has that right. I wanted to keep playing, so I adjusted my behavior. Like I said before, I know plenty of players who either act the same way at times, or simply don't care. But, this guy did care, and to be a diplomatic and a good guy, and show him that I took his concerns seriously, I adjusted my behavior.
     
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  7. KoaUka

    KoaUka Rookie

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    Was he a pusher?
     
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  8. yonexRx32

    yonexRx32 Rookie

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    Yeah.. you can act up if you have the skills of Nastase, Connors, McEnroe and the majors to back it up. Short of that, just keep playing..in silence.
     
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  9. Relinquis

    Relinquis Hall of Fame

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  10. Say Chi Sin Lo

    Say Chi Sin Lo Legend

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    Dude, dont ruin another thread with your inability to act civilized. You're going to call out on people's egos when you refused to shake someone's hands, and claimed to be "off your game"? Please, you were one game away from smelling like a bakery shop, you just got owned. If you were competitive but "off your game", the scoreline would have been closer.

    Anyways, back to the OP. It's nice that you were able to instantly reflect upon yourself on those obnoxious behaviors. I can't stand such behaviors too, but I also understand everyone process these moments differently. I'd say both parties were in the wrong. Both you and your opponent for obvious reasons.
     
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  11. DaveInBradenton

    DaveInBradenton Rookie

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    It's easy to be "a really nice guy" when you're playing well or winning.

    Personally, I play the game for fun. When an opponent has a temper tantrum, some of the fun goes out of the experience for me. I would avoid playing that person again.

    There are many examples in the pro ranks (playing for money & prestige) of players who compete with great intensity, but always exhibit good manners.

    Hopefully, "lesson learned" and you will change your behavior. If so, you will gain respect from your opponents because of your skills and your personality.

    Have fun,
    Dave
     
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  12. gmatheis

    gmatheis Hall of Fame

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    Considerig this was a friendly match not a tournament or league I understand the guy's reaction. He's there to have a good time, and doesn't want to deal with someone throwing their racket and hitting balls all over ... for him it ruins the good time he wants to have on the court.

    Nothing against the OP ... I also understand the emotions you go through when things arent working on the court.

    Just really wanted to thank the OP for being the kind of guy who realizes his actions were upsetting the other guy and was cool enough to accept responsibility and apologize. World needs more people that step up when called out on something rather than getting all defensive.
     
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  13. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus G.O.A.T.

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    I think we use tennis to let out some STEAM from general everyday frustrations and difficulties. so it is OK to throw few temper tantrums.

    BUT ONe thing you have to remember, you should NEVER direct your temper tentrums directly at your opponents or opponent. Direct it at yourself, or backfence or Umpire.
     
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  14. DaveInBradenton

    DaveInBradenton Rookie

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    Or,......... your racket!

    Once you've smashed a perfectly good racket with perfectly good strings, only then will you remember in the future to act like a mature adult on the tennis courts.

    (The above does not apply if you are rich or have a racket sponsor)

    Racket smashing therapy.

    Good luck to all,
    Dave
     
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  15. Govnor

    Govnor Professional

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    I've only been around something like this once. I did think the guy was a total jerk and loved winning after facing match points!!
     
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  16. SpitFire

    SpitFire New User

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    I think the two of you are at fault. (lol, I made a pun)

    1. You let your temper get the best of you.
    2. I'm trying to say this the most polite way possible, but I can't. I think your opponent was a little *****.

    I've got more respect for you though, since you recognize your shortcomings and are actively going to correct it. If your opponent was a true sportsman, they'd finish the match, and choose not play you again. I'd be curious as to what the score was when he threw in the towel. It could be his way of conceding play without having to technically lose, and put it on you instead.

    Just remember, when you act poorly on court, it's giving your opponent a mental advantage. Don't give that advantage to your opponent.
     
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  17. DaveInBradenton

    DaveInBradenton Rookie

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    Well stated.
     
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  18. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    There's so much drama in men's tennis. :shock:
     
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  19. sovertennis

    sovertennis Semi-Pro

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    Interesting that so many of the responses here have been scornful of the opponent, but we've read only Blue Train's account of his Day of Rage. Slamming balls back across the net (ie toward you opponent) is really aggressive, inappropriate behavior. Combine that with the throwing of the racket, etc, and I'm not sure I'd want to be on the court with you either. You manned-up by apologizing though, which is the upshot of the whole episode.
     
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  20. AtomicForehand

    AtomicForehand Hall of Fame

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    QFT. ;)

    10 cindys
     
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  21. Sentinel

    Sentinel Talk Tennis Guru

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    Hey, the guy was kidding !
    You almost got it ... but then didn't.

    Let see .. we've got Serena. And then that "be quiet okay, shuddup, you **ing touched it" guy ... oh yeah federer.

    I chuckled at your last para about the 6-0 loss, reminded me of another guy once started a thread about being bageled by a much inferior player calling him a pusher.
     
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  22. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Those kind of actions can disturb the concentration of others playing on other courts. Many people pay money to see bad boys like Mac to be entertained and know nothing about tennis. Those players are in stadiums not disturbing other players concentrations.

    TTMR, surely you don't feel behavior, by adults behaving badly, that could be witnessed by young impressionable children nearby, who may then think it's acceptable to behave in such a fashion on a tennis court.

    I commend the OP for fessing up, a reasonable amount of frustration is OK to demonstrate on rare occasions but the more Fed like self-control a tennis player can develop, the better off they and others around them will be.
     
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  23. max

    max Hall of Fame

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    BT: I took a year off of tennis once because I'd get upset and swearing just generally feeling crappy after playing.

    I came back to it really enjoying the sport and I made up one or two funny sounding fake swear words that didn't carry the burden of pain with them. I don't use them much now but in tight spots.

    You don't know what your opponent has gone through in the past, I gather, and perhaps he, too, went through a period of negativity. . . and thus your actions may well have made him feel pulled into that negative place again, perhaps after he'd worked to get himself out of it.

    So he might be more sensitive than you thought.

    Heck, that's my stab at it.
     
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  24. bluetrain4

    bluetrain4 Legend

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    Lol. That's not what I was muttering. All the muttering was about myself and the stupid shot selections and at times bad execution of my shots. Just was not feeling it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2013
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  25. ronray43

    ronray43 New User

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    When my opponents start throwing racquets and smashing balls against the wall I know I'm on the way to a win, so it doesn't bother me at all. It's also fun to hit a drop shot on the next point to see if they totally implode . . . ;-)
     
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  26. bluetrain4

    bluetrain4 Legend

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    Again, maybe he's slightly oversensitive, and nice of people to give me a "thumbs up" for taking responsibility for my behavior, but all of this is my doing, my fault. I don't think he was being inordinately uptight, and I don't think he was crazy to want to stop. IMO, there's nothing to be scornful about in regards to him. He explained why he wanted to stop, not only the direct reason (my behavior), but a historical reason (he's not enjoyed playing leagues in the past due to opponents behavior), and he didn't storm off court. He allowed me to address the problem.

    I really don't act like that all the time. But, yes, it does happen sometimes. And, it probably doesn't help that three people who I very regularly play singles with are generally worse than I am in terms of poor behavior (again, not all the time, but it does happen regularly.) I guess that gave me a false sense of what is normal, acceptable. That sort of behavior usually doesn't doesn't bother me unless my opponent gets so upset that they basically tank the match, going for stupid, angry shots. But, clearly it ruins it for some people, and I really don't want to ruin it for them. I can generally enjoy myself either way - calm or obnoxious, do why not calm down for his sake?
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2013
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  27. bluetrain4

    bluetrain4 Legend

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    I can generally regroup after an "epsiode". It doesn't always lead to continued poor play, sometimes it sort of refocuses me. But, I'm sure I could refocus without being so obnoxious.
     
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  28. omega4

    omega4 Rookie

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    I think you acted like an immature brat when you threw your "tantrum".

    But I also think you redeemed yourself and acted like a mature, professional adult when you apologized and promised to be on your best behavior for the rest of the match.

    FYI - Tantrums are RARELY tolerated in golf among golfers. Probably because it's so much easier to continue playing a round of golf WITHOUT the tantrum thrower, whereas in tennis, you need a minimum of 2 players to play.

     
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  29. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    It's Good Friday.

    You are forgiven. Go forth, my son, and sin no more.

    As penance, you must pledge that you will never throw any sort of tantrum in the future. If any of your buddies throws a tantrum, you must handle it as your opponent did: Call them out and retire if they don't clean up their act immediately.

    Peace be with you.
     
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  30. SwankPeRFection

    SwankPeRFection Hall of Fame

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    He's being just as much a baby as he thinks you are being. Boo Hoo, my opponent is throwing stuff. Get over it and just play or ask the guy if he's OK and remind them it's just a friendly match that doesn't count for anything really. Maybe they'll start playing better. Nobody likes to suck, but there are days when that will happen.
     
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  31. OrangePower

    OrangePower Hall of Fame

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    Please don't feed the troll. He laid out some bait and you swallowed it hook line and sinker.
     
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  32. tennisplayer1993

    tennisplayer1993 Semi-Pro

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    I know people like that. I was playing a high school match once and I lost in straight sets something like 6-4 6-2 and i broke two rackets... I was nearly kicked off the team but was told that I couldn't play for the rest of the season.
     
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  33. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    No, it is not
     
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  34. beernutz

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    That's true for some people but there are others who seem to thrive when they get angry (e.g. John McEnroe). Last night a guy on the other team got so steamed at his mistakes he threw his racquet at least four times and said the first swear word I've ever heard him say in years of playing together (OTOH I say MANY of them each and every match).

    Despite his meltdowns however he and his teammate still played well when it counted and won the third set tiebreak 8-6 even after he threw his racquet for the last time when we came back from 2-5 down to take a 6-5 lead.
     
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  35. gameboy

    gameboy Hall of Fame

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    OP was behaving like an a-hole.

    I would have walked off after the first smashed ball. Would have done the same with a USTA match if it Continued.

    It is good that the OP realized the error of his ways. The responses, however, are disturbing to say the least. I see now why there are so many posts about cheating and hooking on this board. If you guys are such a big a-holes, I may try to squeeze you too.
     
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  36. VaththalKuzhambu

    VaththalKuzhambu Rookie

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    Yup!! Drop shotting when your opponent is being a sissy-baby makes them implode. To ante up the fun I start calling 'OOOUTT' as well as hand-signalling on their clearly out shots. Drives them close to tears.

     
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  37. asimple

    asimple Semi-Pro

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    I have to agree that the responses have been disturbing. I am relatively old with my best tennis long in the past and am out to enjoy myself on the court. I have little to no tolerance for bad behavior or cheating in friendly matches. I get enough stress at work and even at home and don't need it on the tennis court. I like competitive matches and don't mind (and even like) the occasional outburst from an opponent, but don't like when it is constant, directed at the opponent, or disruptive to others around.

    I have been pretty lucky over the last couple of years with most people having similar attitudes and looking to enjoy playing. I've only walked away from 2 matches, and only have a handful of people on my no play list. I am careful about playing with the U30 crowd though as they tend to be a bit more problematic.
     
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  38. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

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    Wow, this is probably the most pleasant and unexpected posts/threads ever. My hat is off to you.
     
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  39. IA-SteveB

    IA-SteveB Professional

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    Using tennis to let off steam? What's wrong with a heavy bag or putting your fist through plywood? :) I have never heard anyone say they play tennis to let off steam.
     
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  40. sovertennis

    sovertennis Semi-Pro

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    Blue Train, I believe you've had a real breakthrough here, for which you should feel glad. Henceforth, try using the "2 second rule," which stipulates that after a unfavorable outcome (eg bad shot), you have only two seconds to be angry. After that, your poor shot, and anger must be relegated to the dustbin of history. Also, you've received Jesus' forgiveness (via CindySphinx) so I'd say you're good to go.
     
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  41. ian2

    ian2 Semi-Pro

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    Ditto+++++
     
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  42. breezybee

    breezybee New User

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    I think your opponent was perfectly right. If I'm playing a friendly match I'm not going to stick around while my opponent behaves like a four year old throwing a tantrum. Way better things to do with my time.
     
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  43. TennisDawg

    TennisDawg Semi-Pro

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    Well, the way I see it. You can still play with passion and even show it on the court without being obnoxious. Throwing your racquet, childish outbursts, excuses, all those antics are irritating. The word gets out in the local tennis community, you may find no partners that will play/practice with you. What then? It's not like you are on the pro tour and the publicity gets you attention and even some endorsements. In rec tennis it gets you ostracized and if you happen to be playing a hothead he may want to settle it in the parking lot, I've seen it happen on public courts. All over a stupid little tennis match. It's not worth it.
     
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  44. IA-SteveB

    IA-SteveB Professional

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    That's what kills me about tennis. There are a lot of people who play who are wound way too tight or seem a little mentally unstable. Of all the sports I play, this one definitely has a higher percentage of weird people.
     
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  45. Nostradamus

    Nostradamus G.O.A.T.

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    Only fear I have with retiring is if it is doubles match in USTA league or something, you do have your partner's interest to look out for too. If I just retire then my partner has to retire too.:confused:
     
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  46. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Doubles is a different religion entirely.

    There is no salvation for doubles players. They are all going to hell.
     
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  47. Sakkijarvi

    Sakkijarvi Semi-Pro

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    OP, you lost me with all the groveling. Look, hitting balls at the other guy, not good. Channeling your frustrations outside of that, your own business. Pushers like to torment hitters into making mistakes (not inviting THAT discussion) -- and sometimes their whole schtick is to then tilt their pointy little heads and watch you go off -- and maybe getting to feel superior to you...

    Anywho, my tennis buddies are men, human beings, athletes and competitors. I let the boring ass robots spend time with one another. Just played a great 2½ hour match today with a buddy, eked it out in the end -- so he tossed a couple of times ... his stick that is. Big effing deal. next time it might as well be me. Guy is also 6' 6", hits a ton, big serve. And a good guy.

    Grovel to the whiny little sniveling weasel ('I stopped playing because of booh-hoo...')? Just be who you are and have fun among friends. Who wants to play with a schoolmarm?? Let it all hang out baby.
     
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  48. blakesq

    blakesq Professional

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    did you win BlueTrain4?

    Anyhow, your post made me feel bad, because it brings up too many times (even recently) where I behaved poorly on the court. Thanks for another wake up call, even though I didn't really like it! :evil:


     
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  49. polytheist

    polytheist Rookie

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    I like to provide positive stroke critique when opponents melt down. It goes over really well.
     
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  50. Brian11785

    Brian11785 Hall of Fame

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    Brilliant framing. Why not Jeff Tarango and Damir Dokic vs. Roger Federer and Stefan Edberg?

    Honestly, if it got to a certain point, I could see how someone playing tennis exclusively to have fun might leave the court when it is no longer fun. I've never been called out for it, but I'm usually the more negative player on court. I occasionally drop (don't throw) my racquet. I once double faulted and, when my opponent hit the ball back to me, crushed it back into the net out of frustration. Except it didn't go into the net. It came a few feet from nailing my opponent. That was sort of the wake-up call "WTF am I doing" moment for me. Seems like the OP had a similar moment here. Big man to admit it so honestly.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2013
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