Comfort me please..

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by fatboy, Mar 2, 2005.

  1. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    It's 3 in the morning right now. I could not sleep, I'm so anxious that I wanna ask this girl to come with me to my school prom. I'm so scared that I've been thinking about it all day and I couldn't sleep now. Call me whatever you want loser geek whatever. But what should I do? I'm scared that I'll get rejected. And if I get rejected by this girl I don't know who else I could go with. And I don't want to sit in the single's table at the formal. Please comfort me if you have time.
     
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  2. lemurballs

    lemurballs New User

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    Just ask. Rejection is a part of life.
     
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  3. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    well ok. i agree but this is my last hope. after this one then ill officially be a patented a loser which i don't want so if that helps I'm asking to wish me luck and pray for me :( im sorry if i sounded like a loser
     
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  4. Brettolius

    Brettolius Professional

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    go get 'em dude. think about it like this-this will not be the last time you will ask a chick out. if she says no, well, big deal, there are plenty more. i have forgotten the one's that have said no, but the instances that do stick are the times that i DIDN'T ask. if you don't ask, you'll never know. maybe she's just as nervous as you are, hoping you'll ask her. i know it's nerve racking, but the worst thing that can happen is she'll say no. the other scenario is that she says yes. either way, you're both gonna wake up in the morning, life goes on. good luck bro.
     
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  5. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    Thanks man. Well its true. but really thats what im scared off if she says no then my prom is doomed. its one of those things that i hoped i can have a good time at and its ruined. i just dont want it to be that later on ill be going back to my highschool days and miss out on the prom just coz i didnt have a date. but then thanks for that 'good luck' i really need it.
     
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  6. gmlasam

    gmlasam Hall of Fame

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    Hey Fatboy,

    Just go for it mate!!! Everyone so far has given some great advice. Everyone have had their share of rejections, and believe me it will not be the last. We all learn from it and learn how to deal with and move on.

    You may even impress her with you dancing moves. You can dance right? ;)
     
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  7. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    haha. well ill try. and i will go for it. if i could get her that'll be the happiest day of my life so far. well thanks. i got to get ready for school now. hopefully all those thinking that i did last night on how to ask her pays off. once again please wish me luck and pray so that itll go well :) have a nice day
     
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  8. ChrisNC

    ChrisNC Semi-Pro

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    Be confident. Don't pull a "You wouldn't possibly want to go to the prom with me, would you?" That question is very negative. Make sure it's positive "How would you like to be my date for the prom?" Either she does, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, don't pout...at least not in front of her. She has female friends she's gonna tell if you do, and then you're hosed.
     
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  9. tennis-n-sc

    tennis-n-sc Professional

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    You miss 100% of the shots you never take. If she turns you down, ask her Mom.
     
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  10. tennisboy87

    tennisboy87 Guest

    Good luck man.
     
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  11. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    ok i did get rejected. im at my lowest low right now. but as you guys said life goes on. really i know it will go on for temporary. but i know on the prom night i will feel really bad that i dont even dare to think about it and apparently i don't think i can face this night, because i know the boys at school will give me a hard time saying im a virgin and talk about me behind my back, plus my parents will think that i have no friends, worse the girls will think im a reject. right now im on a state where i don't think i can go on with life. now im not lying laugh all you want but really now i understand what depression is all about. i dont know who to talk to not even my parents coz they will laugh at me. i guess even God doesn't like me. so i thought a place like the net especially on a board about a sport where i loved so much that everytime i play it i forget about all my pain i could confess. so i would probably like to say goodbye as i might not write another post ever again. good luck with everything :D i thought id never say this but God Bless
     
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  12. chad shaver

    chad shaver Semi-Pro

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    Don't let it get you down. You'll just have to take my word for it that life goes on. There are plenty of highs and lows, and this is just one of the lows. There are worse things that can happen. That may not mean much right now, but it's the truth.
     
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  13. bc-05

    bc-05 Semi-Pro

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    is this guy serious??? is depression really that bad?? u know i always had this fear of someone havign depression and kills themself... dude if u were thinking about it dont do it!!
     
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  14. Cypo

    Cypo Rookie

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    Fatboy - It sounds like you have good reason to be depressed - especially if you think your parents would laugh at you - that's really tough. It sounds like you need someone to talk to, in person. Is there someone on the staff at you school that you can imagin talking to ? I think the people at your school might be able to help you because they see this every year - you are neither the first or the last to fall into a depression as the school year ends. If not, try one of the emergency lines from social services - it takes a little nerve to call, but not nearly as much as the nerve it took to ask that girl to the dance, and you'll find when you call that the person who answers wants to help you - that's why they're there - and they're trained to do it. You are not alone, or the only person who's ever been in this situation. And there is help, and hope; things do get better - I was miserable in HS as well, I think it's the hardest time of life. Don't get down on yourself about it.

    Take care,
    Cynthia
     
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  15. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    Dude - if your parents or anyone else think you have no friends - just show them this thread as proof that you've got plenty of friends right here.
     
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  16. bc-05

    bc-05 Semi-Pro

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    nah seriously.. i dont know if i can have any say in this.. but u know what this girl pisses me off.. where do u live? if u live in the same city ill talk to her for ya.. seriously girls that just rejects people for no reason ohhhh i hate them.. especially if their reason is "ur not my type" or the " ohh im too good for ya"... dude i wished i could help man.. but to say the least im with deuce.. u have friends in here..
     
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  17. tennis-n-sc

    tennis-n-sc Professional

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    You had the courage to ask. I'll bet there were many other guys in school who could not muster up the courage to ask a girl out. Try to think of your good qualities and list courage up at the top. High School is demanding and can be very hurtful, but you know what? It ain't the beginning of anything nor the end of anything, it's just a little something in between. Just take this one day at a time and before you know it you will be enjoying life again. Get on the courts, hit a ball, run some sprints. And change your screen name. To me it implies you don't think much of yourself and you should. Get to a school counselor and spill your guts. They can be great confidents and advocates. You will get through this and one day you'll use this experience to help somone else. Let us know how it goes.
     
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  18. Camilio Pascual

    Camilio Pascual Hall of Fame

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    Fatboy - Duuuude! What are you doing? Most people will accept another person's self-assessment of themself at face value. At least at first before they get to know them. It looks from your posts that you "advertise" yourself as a loser to others. Drop that word from your vocabulary right now! If you have a bad "inner dialogue" with yourself, you need to correct that, too.
    If you are not kidding around here...well, please go see a counselor or confide in the most mature person you know and trust. If you have trouble doing this directly and laying this on the counselor, to break the ice leave the counselor a note to reference this chat board first and then to contact you. Forget about the girls right now and do things for yourself that make you happy...such as a hobby or get a new hobby. You are getting some really good advice from the people here...take it. Change your screen name as Tennis-n-c suggests. Good luck to you.
     
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  19. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    Tennis-n-c and Camilio are totally right. Find yourself a better screen-name for these forums - maybe something like 'I-GOT-BALLS'. And don't put yourself down. People here don't see you as a 'loser' - because you're not. You're a kid who had the balls to ask a girl out. And you had the balls to tell us how you were feeling about it before and after (thus the potential screen-name I-GOT-BALLS).

    Before you change names, though, pop in to this thread soon, and let us know how things are going. 'Cause a lot of us would like to know.

    Remember - "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.
     
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  20. Brian Purdie

    Brian Purdie Semi-Pro

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    keep asking girls out. keep getting rejected. get used to the feeling and it will become more benign. Eventually asking will be second nature and rejection will be easier to accept. This increases your odds of getting a girl. After all, not everyone will turn you down. just keep asking.
     
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  21. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    All I can tell you is that I've been there, in fact I've been through much worse. I won't bore you with the details, but the long and short of it is that life does go on and I eventually met a great woman and now I have two great kids and a great wife. Unfortunately, I don't think there's an easy way to get over this type of pain, they say time heals all wounds, but it does take some time.
     
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  22. Tenny

    Tenny Professional

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    You play tennis right? What does it teach you? You always get broken but still can win in the end. Posting this kind of issue, you already have courage, man. Good luck and have fun at prom. Cheers!

    1. Not just ask her. Gently persuade her and show your heart if you really like her. If she deserves you, she should be able to see it.
    2. Develop a couple of things you can feel confident. You can start from there. Pick up a guitar and learn it. For me it helped a lot.
    3. Rent some good instruction DVDs : Groundhog's day, Princess Bride. These will teach you something.
     
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  23. Tenny

    Tenny Professional

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    Right

    This is cool!
     
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  24. Superior_Forehand

    Superior_Forehand Rookie

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    Focus on tennis and let out your sexual frusterations that way. Trust me, this kind of thing seems so important in high school but will only be a quaint memory as soon as you get out. This kind of thing is not important in the long run.
     
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  25. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    Come on, dude - where are you?

    I know you're reading these posts.

    Let us know how you're doing.
     
    #25
  26. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    thanks everyone. i dont know what to say to you people but thanks. really, time's getting really close to the prom day. each day when i wake up in the morning, i feel more scared and more scared. i played tennis this morning. it takes away the pain for 2-3 hours then it came back again. i also don't think i would be able to see a counsellor from the school. i'm sure they will call my parents and tell every single detail about this i don't think i could do this and i could not afford a private counsellor. in all seriousness i don't even feel like a human being anymore. once again though.. i'd like to say thank you for everything. but i just want you to know how i feel right now because this board is the only place i feel like i could tell my feeling. and what im feeling now is fear. everyday i wake up instead of getting better i feel more pain.
     
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  27. aj_m2009

    aj_m2009 Professional

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    Why do you care so much about what other people think of you? What other people think of you doesn't matter as long as you are happy with yourself. If people think you are a loser or whatever that is there problem, not your's. And if people make fun of you for being a virgin than they are obviously stupid. You shouldn't lose your virginity until you are married because that is a special bond you should share with your wife, not just some girl that meant nothing to you. And if your parents think you don't have any freinds you should show them this board. And you really should change your user name. 'Fatboy' does nothing for you but remind you of how you think of yourself, which isn't the way you should think of yourself. Best of luck and I hope you start to feel better.
     
    #27
  28. danniflava

    danniflava Rookie

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    Fatboy, are you really fat? Do you have a lot of friends? Did you ask out the most popular girl in high school?
     
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  29. goober

    goober Legend

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    because he is a teenager. Once I graduated from high school, I pretty much gave a rat's arse what people thought about me unless it was someone I really cared about.
     
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  30. aj_m2009

    aj_m2009 Professional

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    I'm a teenager too and I can't care less what what people think about me 'cause I know it doesn't matter. I know I don't have to please anybody.
     
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  31. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    Look, the fact is that the guys who 'make fun' of people for being virgins are mostly virgins themselves.

    Besides, any truly mature person knows that being a virgin is nothing at all to be ashamed of.

    If you wanted to go to the prom, just go - and find someone with whom you can talk about a common interest - whether that's tennis, or anything else you're interested in. And just hang out. Or don't go, if you really don't have any interest. It's not mandatory.

    Others will usually see you in the same way you view yourself. If you view yourself as a 'loser', that's what you will project to others. If you have a more positive view of yourself, others will see you more positively, as well. True, it's somewhat of a 'chicken and the egg' theory (which comes first?) - but you've got to make an effort to have a better view of yourself.

    Start with a new screen-name on these boards. Little things like that can provide the necessary spark from which great infernos are born...
     
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  32. ShooterMcMarco

    ShooterMcMarco Hall of Fame

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    I remember this quote from Ocean's Twelve, "every problem is an opportunity in disguise."

    From my own personal experiences, I realized that a lot of things happened for a reason. If it's for the better or worse, something good always comes out in the end if you don't bring yourself down. When something bad happens, think about the silver lining. I remember when my parents took my license away from me because I got a speeding ticket. As corny as it seems, the first thing I thought of was, "at least I can still bike to my friend's houses and get a workout."

    Because you got turned down, you can be like, "hey, at least I can save money from renting a tux, buying dinner, a corsage, and the ticket and spend it on some new tennis strings and overgrips." OR you can be like, "hey, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Cowboy up, I'm gonna go get me a lunker." Dust yourself off, and go mack on other chicks at school. Exude some confidence, chicks dig that. Just don't let one measley girl bring you down, and restrain you from having fun at the dance.
     
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  33. danniflava

    danniflava Rookie

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    In my school, virgins are "in". Non-virgins are what we call "****s" and "*****s".
     
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  34. Jonas

    Jonas Semi-Pro

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    Hey Man,
    All good advice here! It sounds like you are infact quite a brave young man. IT's good to talk to people and express your feelings even if it's on a tennis chat board.
    I am not trying to start a Holy war or anything, but you can go to any church worth it's salt and you can get some good 1 on 1 advice from the Pastor himself, or from any other on-staff leader. They will be more than happy to listen to your situation and offer good advice. Hang in there, becuase it's really no big deal.
     
    #34
  35. fatboy

    fatboy New User

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    once again i've read everything that you guys said and it really made me feel better. as for the prom i have decided not to go just like shooter mcmarco said i might be able to buy a new racquet maybe. and i hope what you guys said about how things are getting better are true. your post is the only thing that kept me going until now. like i really mean it. 2 days ago when i first posted i really felt that there is no point in life. but after those post you wrote i see more hope and feel that life can turn around and i hope so. as for new nickname, i can't think of any cool ones, i tried to change it to something before but it said that you could only register once. but anyway thank you, im looking forward for things to get better
     
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  36. aj_m2009

    aj_m2009 Professional

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    I'm glad to see you are starting to feel better. And things will get better, trust me.

    And as far as getting a new screen name goes, you may have to put in a different e-mail address. But I would make a screen name that has to do with something that you like. Or you could be like me and put your initials and the year you graduate high school. But I would for sure do whatever it takes to make a new screen name 'cause that name, like I said, only reminds you of what you think of yourself which, again, isn't the way you should think of yourself.
     
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  37. raftermania

    raftermania Banned

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    FB, if you're feeling all this pain, fear, etc. that is not a good sign! Don't worry, like it's been reiterated a dozen times in this thread, there are tons of: fish in the ocean, stars in the universe, balls in the hopper and gems in the mine for everyone! It is natural to feel nervous about the first date, but what you are describing is not good. Don't force yourself to try something your body and mind strongly suggests against! When you find "the one" don't worry you will know it, you will run into her eventually! Just hang in there, you are still so young!

    As for a new username, I'm sure you can find one! You're from aussieland? Like Pat Rafter too? Make a name up to express your admiration! But avoid words like obsessed, deranged or mania in your name - people will think you're nuts. It's all about finding something that describes yourself! Like tacos? Is your name first name: Tim? Boom! Problem solved, TacoTim. I'm sure you have a favorite something, express it!

    Or want to describe something about yourself? Be Positive! Again, the big hint about your self-image is your screenname! If you believe you're fat, do you think you'll ever change? Don't get down on yourself like that mate! There are positive and negative things about every one! It's your choice whether you want to accentuate your positive or negative attributes. Do you think Jay Leno could have got to where he is if he sat in a dark room depressing about his enormous chin? No! He chose to acknowledge it and take it less seriously. (Ooops, you're aussie - Jay Leno is a big late night talk show host over here)

    You play tennis, which is one indication you're a super cool guy and a popular one around here! Keep on the prowl for tennis babes!!! They are seriously amazing, and you'd have the upper hand on all those jocks who know little about tennis. If they go after a girl you're interested in, challenge them to a game of tennis and watch those wankers run for their lives. :)

    It's 2:26 am here in Canada, I have fear too, but of a different sort... Getting this homework done! Crikey!!!!

    Hey, best of luck in your adventures to come. Believe in yourself! And tell yourself, There's always a light at the end of the tunnel!
     
    #37
  38. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    I’m glad things are getting better, dude.

    It usually helps to put things in some perspective. Think about it – some people are in a relationship for years, and then get dumped. Years. Decades, even. That’s got to be tough.

    In your case, you asked a girl out, and she said no. I know it’s no fun – but this happens 5 to 10 times a day every day in every high school on the planet. So you’re not alone – believe me – many guys heard "No" on the same day you did when they asked the same question you did. Indeed, things do get better. Believe me, there will come a time in the not so distant future when you’re telling people about asking this girl out, and in telling the story, you won’t even remember her name.

    The girl, or her saying ‘no’ isn’t the real issue here. The real issue is your self-esteem. It needs to improve. Hopefully, the posts you’ve read in this thread will help with that. You've obviously got several friends here. Time will also do its part. But you’ve got to do your part, as well. The first step is to stop putting yourself down so much. You're an interesting dude who expresses himself very well. See yourself that way.

    I still think you need to change your screen-name. Really. For one, several of us are not comfortable referring to you by your current screen-name – I just don’t want to call you that. Secondly, using a screen-name like that brings you down every time you see it. Believe me – it does. Just contact Don or Chris (use the ‘contact us’ link at the bottom of this page), and ask how you can change your screen-name. Maybe include a link to this thread. Changing a screen-name can be done – others have done it.

    Take care, bud. Keep the chin up.
     
    #38
  39. TacoTims

    TacoTims New User

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    here you go tacotims :)
     
    #39
  40. raftermania

    raftermania Banned

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    Dude, Your Real First Name Is Not Actually Tim Is It???!!!!
     
    #40
  41. aj_m2009

    aj_m2009 Professional

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    Glad to see you are no longer 'fatboy'. That name was just terrible.
     
    #41
  42. TacoTims

    TacoTims New User

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    nah its not tim. but i thought i liked the name so i used it :D
     
    #42
  43. Cypo

    Cypo Rookie

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    Tims is also:
    Thermal Ionization Mass Spectrometry - just in case you want to be nerdy like me ;-)
     
    #43
  44. aj_m2009

    aj_m2009 Professional

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    What on earth is that?
     
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  45. bc-05

    bc-05 Semi-Pro

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    what a bunch of nerds.. can i join in the party? lets have a gigabyte party!!!! YEEE HAAAA
     
    #45
  46. Cypo

    Cypo Rookie

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    A mass spec. is an instrument that's used in chemistry to determine which isotopes are in a sample - thermal ionization means you heat the sample so hot that electrons can be ripped off.

    Pretty esoteric, but it has a nice ring to it.
     
    #46
  47. aj_m2009

    aj_m2009 Professional

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    That is bad, I should remember what an isotope is. I just learned this stuff a couple months ago. And there is no need to explain 'cause I would probably forget again.
     
    #47
  48. bc-05

    bc-05 Semi-Pro

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    cypo by any chance ur not abu bakhar bashir are u? from the jail plannign to make another bomb?
     
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  49. Camilio Pascual

    Camilio Pascual Hall of Fame

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    TacoTims - Glad to see the name change. It is VERY VERY tough in the beginning to establish a relationship and to get over the clunkiness and awkwardness of communicating with somebody for whom you have strong feelings. I suggest you start talking to and interacting with girls in non-date, non-sexual activity scenarios. Look for group activities such as hiking. Good luck.
     
    #49
  50. raftermania

    raftermania Banned

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    TacoTims, you're a cool guy
     
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