does revenge works?

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by enishi1357, Mar 1, 2014.

  1. enishi1357

    enishi1357 Rookie

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    I have known a person who did a very terrible thing to me. It stills bothers me to this day and the only thing I want is to forget. I have been told revenge is not the answer but I have done everything I could to sooth my anger. I have contacted this person but this person couldn't even make the slightest effort to help me (I even told this person to do this very simple task and its all just so stupid). Chances after chances i have given and yet this person always makes things worse by saying some idiotic stuff. This person obviously knows what I'm capable but yet continues to test my good nature.
    This experience has taught me why some people can't live a honest and simple life. Maybe this person and I are both good people but sometimes when negotiations breaks down is when one side has to go down. I know this person feels the guilt but maybe deep down this person just wants its punishment so we both can forget.
    You can say I am a bad person for thinking so extreme but I am a good person. All I really want from this person is a good ending; to end the relationship on a good note. But it has been so long and I am still really depressed. I even asked for something which just take one second to complete but even that is too much to ask. Now my action might just ruin this person's life and all because this person couldn't take one second to make amends
    Maybe my real question is whether living a honest life is possible without revenge? I really don't want to turn to alcohol for my troubles
     
    #1
  2. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    #2
  3. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Better to forgive, than revenge. Forgiving doesn't happen overnight, it takes time and sincerity.

    When you forgive, there is no need for the other person to ask for forgiveness. Try not to judge the other person. Generally speaking, we don't know the environment/conditioning etc of the other person which prompted the action we consider to be wrong. Often both parties feel they are the wronged ones.

    Try to relinquish judgement of the other person. Every time anger or resentment wells up, try to give up judgment. With time, the feeling of being wronged will lessen. If one day you meet that person and can interact with him with no feeling of some past history then you know forgiving has happened. At some point, he will also start noticing that there is no judgment in you, and his behavior is likely to change for the better.

    btw, forgiving does not mean telling someone you forgive them. That can be very condescending/ pompous and judgmental. Better to let your actions speak. Forgiving starts inside us. Actions will automatically flow from there, and should not be contrived/fake.
     
    #3
  4. pushing_wins

    pushing_wins Hall of Fame

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    Is justice different from revenge?
     
    #4
  5. chrischris

    chrischris Hall of Fame

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    Yes.. it is.
     
    #5
  6. TahoeTennis

    TahoeTennis Professional

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    Revenge and Hatred will eat you up inside and destroy you.

    Love, peace and forgiveness are always the key.
     
    #6
  7. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
     
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  8. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    I prefer to leave 'em dead on the streets. That scares everyone else. But I do put the champagne to chill before embarking.

    (Which was that movie in which the gangster or some group that does that ? Wondering if it was My Life to Live (French).)
     
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  9. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    When I exact revenge on you, it will be a dish served cold.

    I do like my steak tartare, but Lecter has tempted me to try liver, fava beans and a nice Chianti. I still prefer a South Australian Shiraz. Shiraz and sureshs...sounds so good together!:twisted:
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2014
    #9
  10. enishi1357

    enishi1357 Rookie

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    I do wants it to work. First I gave chances to be friends. When he kept on making it worse I thought lets just be strangers so at least maybe we can be friends in the future. But when he contacts me and again did something stupid is when I think it's better off to be enemies then he get the message.
    I can't do it anymore. Hopefully he will never get wind of what will happen and I will feel better
     
    #10
  11. rommil

    rommil Legend

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    You can only succeed if you go see Hatori Hanso first.
     
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  12. Manus Domini

    Manus Domini Hall of Fame

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    It works. It thoroughly destroys both you and your target--assuming you're half-good at it.

    Better forgive. It's kinder to you, and more often than not, startling for your target.
     
    #12
  13. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    We have a saying in Delta....don't get mad, get even
     
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  14. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    "Food Fight!"
     
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  15. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    "Does this thing talk?"
     
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  16. pushing_wins

    pushing_wins Hall of Fame

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    how so?

    they are both consistent with the moral self evident truth - an eye for an eye
     
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  17. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Yes, reliving the best 7 years of my college education!
     
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  18. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    So that's why we turn the other cheek.....for the other eye

    Hahaha. This message board has gotten ridiculous. I suggest merging this thread with the philosophy discussion and LeeDs debate about the Germans bombing pearl harbor
     
    #18
  19. Mr.Lob

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    May be better to seek some professional help. Read a few self help books.
     
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  20. Vanhool

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    Usually forgiveness or just forgetting them is best. Once in a great while, revenge can be satisfying, but you will always be tied to it in a strange way (it makes you a smaller person, so it's shameful in a way), so it should be clever, funny and/or entertaining to yourself (and if it's really funny, it can make a good story). Make it worthwhile. It's usually best to avoid it. It's really hard to comment in your situation. What was done, why is this person still in your life, and what do you want to do? Ruining someone's career isn't very funny....
     
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  21. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Germans always getting a bad rep...all the Djokoheads are blaming Becker for the new Swiss domination!:twisted:
     
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  22. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    Everybody gets mad at Germany and the Swiss come out winners? Oldest trick in the book.
     
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  23. Vcore89

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    Maestro Fed and Stunning Stan are the Tower of Power duo.:)
     
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  24. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Fixed that!
     
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  25. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    I was worried about anything suggesting Fed, Stan, and a Tower of Power



    reminds me of that Zappa song
     
    #25
  26. enishi1357

    enishi1357 Rookie

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    i think my only regret is not doing it right after what he did. I wouldn't have found out he betrayed me again and the other stuff right after it. I guess considering everything I am being generous. It's up to the heaven on how this will escalate
     
    #26
  27. dParis

    dParis Hall of Fame

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    Bobby Brown? :cool:
    If you are looking to Talk Tennis for advice on how to resolve this situation, we need much more detail. What you describe can only be left to interpretation. Your story offers no sense of degree nor dynamic. What measuring stick do we use to make judgment? The antagonist may have burned down your house with your parents inside, or committed as mundane an act as to leave the ice cream quart on the counter overnight more than once.

    More detail, I say. But based on your three posts in this thread, I'm going to ask that you spare the community the convoluted, confusing and headache inducing re-telling of the facts as you remember them, which your story will surely be. It suffices to say that if you have to ask the TT community if "revenge works?", you'd be better off leaving that option on the shelf and seek a more passive resolution to your percieved dillema. Revenge is like playing tennis, drawing or making love insofar as some people are naturally gifted for it while others, not so much. But unlike those other things, poorly executed revenge can lead to ruinous, unforeseen consequences.
     
    #27
  28. GBplayer

    GBplayer Semi-Pro

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    Step up the real McCoy.
     
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  29. Vanhool

    Vanhool Hall of Fame

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    I second this post.
     
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  30. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    I third that post, except for the poor lovemaking analogy...I've seen and had to deal with ruinous consequences from improper technique in that category. Give those "consequences" a scintilla of tennis experience and a keyboard and they often wind up here in TTW with a "G.O.A.T" or a "TT Guru" tag under their username.
     
    #30
  31. Fifth Set

    Fifth Set Professional

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    I seconds the request to provide the actual details so we can get some scope of the wrongs committed and advises accordinglies.
     
    #31
  32. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    I seconds your avatar...nice back; what's the front look like???:twisted:
     
    #32
  33. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    I think someone here is suggesting that should the OP want to go the revenge way he should check out Kill Bill.

    Nice, rommil.

    Soon to be Bionic Poster :( LOL.
     
    #33
  34. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Did you ever know a guy named Ricks**.

    He used to start threads about things like:
    1) His roommate ate a slice of his day-old pizza while he was taking a dump or something. This had happened several days back and he was unable to cope with it.

    2) He was drunk at a bar and some ugly lady gave him a kiss on the cheek and he felt violated. Had she been pretty it would have been another matter, but ... he also went around adding (in almost every thread) that this was the price he had to pay for being so good-looking.

    3) He was once getting a massage and the female masseuse gave him a rub on the chest that seemed to be a little sensual. Again, he felt violated and abused esp since he had such a muscular and ripped body.

    Then there were all those casual mentions of him having an oak tree (with the surrounding bushes shaved!) that would pop up suddenly in a racquet thread, or string thread or tennis tips thread.

    In all these cases, he would have the thread deleted when it became too embarrassing, but still start a new one a week or so later.

    Today's posters have nothing on those old ones. Call me nostalgic but it's really a weak field nowadays :)
     
    #34
  35. Steady Eddy

    Steady Eddy Hall of Fame

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    When I get even, I call it justice. When you get even, I call it revenge.
     
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  36. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    I usually stay ahead of the field so when you get even it's actually odd!:twisted:
     
    #36
  37. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Hey stop it, yo. you are keepin me away from Breaking Bad, yo.
     
    #37
  38. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Bryan Cranston's method of revenge for having to deal with his nerds Malcolm et al, no?
     
    #38
  39. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Stay away from my territory, yo !


    When i said "Handle it", i meant just handle it, not kill someone !
     
    #39
  40. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    You can't handle the truth! You want me up on that wall, you need me on that wall! I have neither the time or the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it.
     
    #40
  41. rommil

    rommil Legend

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    Yes! The Pvssy Wagon rolls out again:)
     
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  42. Vcore89

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    I just hate that Colonel.:-|
     
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  43. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    hahaha
    that wagon been rolling out at me in the meaning of life thread :D
     
    #43
  44. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Lady Gaga & Beyonce in that truck share some tactics for revenge, served warm!
     
    #44
  45. rommil

    rommil Legend

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    Our beloved infamous TTW troll ate at that diner and didn't tip:)
     
    #45
  46. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    LMAO, that thread about not tipping beat even the most ridiculous of rickson's threads.
     
    #46
  47. Fifth Set

    Fifth Set Professional

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    Not bad either!

    [​IMG]
     
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  48. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Ahh...Gorgeous Goerges! Nice taste!
     
    #48
  49. PhrygianDominant

    PhrygianDominant Hall of Fame

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    Gahdjussss
     
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  50. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    She may seek revenge on me for my constant drooling if I were to watch her live! Bring it on!
     
    #50

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