Fair weather tennis friend....

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by tnnisfan, May 11, 2012.

  1. tnnisfan

    tnnisfan New User

    Mar 23, 2012
    Just venting here....When I was losing to my friend and league teammate...she was very friendly and would regularly have after play drinks with me and the team...but now that I am playing better than I ever have and am beating her, (3 times as of today) she is hardly speaking to me and won't stay for drinks... Why can't some people just leave it on the court, or even better congratulate others when they play well? Anyone else ever have a "fair weather tennis friend"?
  2. InspectorRacquet

    InspectorRacquet Semi-Pro

    Jul 27, 2011
    Yep. Got one myself. We're cordial in practice and pretty good friends, but if we get into a match, all bets are off.
  3. Fuji

    Fuji Legend

    Aug 30, 2010
    I don't play anyone like that any more. I don't want to have a stress relief bringing drama in my life. :razz:

  4. hard2explain

    hard2explain Rookie

    Oct 6, 2011
    No animosity or anything like that, but I've a bunch of friends who only play for 4 months in the summer, so last autumn I joined an indoor club and haven't looked back.
  5. DeShaun

    DeShaun Banned

    Aug 22, 2010
    I'm just now beginning my third year of learning to play tennis. I have had multiple playing partners along the way. Many I still play with, but many more--particularly those who previously never lost to me--disappeared the moment I began defeating them regularly. Tis the way of things.
  6. nickarnold2000

    nickarnold2000 Hall of Fame

    Aug 16, 2006
    IMO, there's nothing wrong with having a competitive nature during a match when playing with a friend. That being said, I'm always respectful and will give credit when a good shot has been struck to my opponent. After the match, win or lose, it's time for a beer and some good conversation - life's to short to be carrying around negative thoughts.
  7. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

    Feb 18, 2004
    Austin, Texas
    There's one guy here who I was good friends with, I'm a bit better than him (never lost a singles set to him in about 50 sets) but I always played with him anyway. Last year I would drill with him for a hour every week to try to get him better. Anyway, he is the captain of a USTA team, it's the best team in the league by far, and he asked me to be on the team. I said no, because I had already committed to another team and because some of the guys on his team are way too serious for a 4.5 league. After that, I never heard from him again. Very weird.
  8. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

    Oct 1, 2005
    Subtle way to inform us that OP is winning :)
  9. leech

    leech Rookie

    Sep 12, 2011
    This doesn't sound like a fair-weather tennis friend; just a competitive person while playing but otherwise a good friend. The OP was describing a situation where the actual friendship disintegrated once the tennis dynamics changed.
  10. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

    Mar 30, 2009
    Shes busy GOATing J011y.
  11. tnnisfan

    tnnisfan New User

    Mar 23, 2012
    Nope...I'm not being subtle at all :)... I AM winning and it feels great! I've been working hard (clinics/privates etc..) I spent the entire year losing to this gal and "sucking it up" afterwards as we would have drinks alone or with our team. Just felt real deflated to learn she wasn't a "real" friend...
  12. chollyred

    chollyred Rookie

    Aug 21, 2009
    Loganville, Ga.
    Women carry a grudge much longer than men for some reason. As little boys, we'd beat the snot out of each other, then pick ourselves up and be friends afterward. I've never seen girls to that. They hang onto the past far longer than men (in general).

    As long as she was superior to you (in her mind), she could be friends, but when you beat her, you challenged her personally and she can't let it go. Some people are better at sportsmanship than others. If she's being a bad sport, let her go. There are too many other poeple to meet and play.
  13. goober

    goober Legend

    Jun 9, 2004
    Well at least she is still playing with you. My fair weather friend stop playing with me at all. The first year and half I played tennis we played one a week and I didn't win a single set. Tennis was a once a week exercise for me and it was his "main' sport. I then decided to play 3-4 times a week and actually try to get better at different strokes and strategies. After about 6 months we were even, then in about another 3 months he never took any sets off me. He promptly stopped returning calls and emails.

    As a followup, I hear from him again after about 3 years. He wants to play. I win in a closer match something like 6-3, 6-4. He asks me if I have been taking lessons. I tell him I haven't taken lessons in many years. He seems upset. Later on, I find out that he has been taking weekly $70/hour lessons for the last several years.
  14. tennisjon

    tennisjon Semi-Pro

    Jan 8, 2007
    West Orange, NJ
    Just to play devil's advocate here. Is it possible that she is feeling bad that she isn't good enough competition for you any more? That she isn't able to keep up with you and that you may not want to play with her any more? I would just ask her what is going on and tell her that you have always enjoyed playing together and want to keep doing so.
  15. SwankPeRFection

    SwankPeRFection Hall of Fame

    Apr 30, 2012
    Maybe she likes being the dominatrix more than the submissive. ;)
  16. Alchemy-Z

    Alchemy-Z Hall of Fame

    Dec 14, 2010
    Augusta, GA
    I have a guy who I have played in league matches and in tournaments (and he has never beat me)

    and he always says "I hope we get to play again" he was watching my semi final match and my wife was talking to him and said you need to trade phone numbers so you can get together an play.

    he said...he only wants to play if it counts (official match)

    He's a nice guy but I guess he really wants it recorded some where that he's beat me?
  17. storypeddler

    storypeddler Semi-Pro

    Jun 22, 2005
    Hickory, NC
    Because, as in all areas of life, some people only show their true colors under pressure. My advice would be to work on beating her more often and more soundly. She will either get over herself, get better, or stop returning your calls. LOL. In any case, not worth losing sleep over.

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