Friend lying about lung transplant.. help me prove he is lying

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by B-rian, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Well, apparently my friend CLAIMED to have a lung transplant which none of us believe because one, he claimed to only be in the hospital for 3-4 days which is totally redicuous! Second, he claimed that his scar has completely disappeared after approx... 8-9 months. And third, he got the "operation" like a week or two after he apparently "discovered" his condition. Which is total BS because it takes over a year on average for a person to receive a donor lung. And that he has lied to us many times and we all think he made this up to try to cover up many other lies. He has caused my friends and I a lot of grief and is ******* us off that he would make up such a stupid lie! Please, any doctors, experts, or just anyone please help me out! I looked up online a lot of information about lung transplant surgery and it all points to him lying! Is there anyone out there who can confirm that he is lying? Or that I am wrong?
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2009
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  2. TokyopunK

    TokyopunK Professional

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    Just ask his parents...
     
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  3. Rickson

    Rickson G.O.A.T.

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    Ask him his blood type, age of the donor, sex of the donor, date of surgery, surgeon's name, name of the hospital where surgery took place, and cost of the surgery. Bombard him with these questions and he'll be revealed.
     
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  4. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Trust me we've tried everything except for asking his parents because we don't want to bust him out in front of his parents (kinda going a bit too far for us) and yeah I'll try bombarding him with questions but the thing is, we all know that he is lying IMO we've already caught him but we want HIM to admit that he is lying
     
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  5. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Oh and he APPARENTLY went to ask his mom to look for the "papers" BS!
     
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  6. Fee

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    The only thing that you need to google is the phrase 'pathological liar' because that is what he is. You have two choices, ignore everything he says and stop being friends with him, or go to his parents and tell them everything he has said to you. Perhaps he is young enough that he can be cured of this illness before he becomes a complete scammer.
     
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  7. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

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    He will never admit that he is a liar. I briefly knew a guy like this in college. He worked part time in the IT field while he was getting his degree and claimed he used to have a private jet taking him on business trips. He made a bunch of other rediculous claims that I can't even remember, most of which were pretty obviously lies though. We called him on them and he just changes the subject but never admits it.
     
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  8. YULitle

    YULitle Hall of Fame

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    Solution: Concentrate on more important things than inconsequential liars.
     
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  9. El Diablo

    El Diablo Hall of Fame

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    That kind of scar is quite dramatic and never disappears. Thoracic surgeons are never terribly delicate about the sutures they close with.
     
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  10. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Its something that my friends and I are determined to fix because he's been my best friend since 6th grade... but if he doesn't give us proof or confess that hes a complete liar things between him and us are definately going to change.
     
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  11. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Haha taking a private jet somewhere seems like something he would claim to have done :)
     
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  12. RestockingTues

    RestockingTues Banned

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    I used to be a pathological liar. I've worked on it to the point where I'm deprecatingly honest and I troll on TW to vent... :)
     
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  13. Fee

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    He's your 'best friend' and you didn't know he was in the hospital for such a serious thing as a lung transplant?

    He doesn't respect you or your friendship. If he did, he would not look you in the eye and lie to your face over and over and over again. Look him straight into his face and say 'I am tired of your lies and I don't want to be your friend anymore' then walk away. Trust me on this, patho liars are nothing but pain and trouble for their victims. Get away while you can.
     
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  14. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Well, I did know but even at that time I was doubting if it was real or not especially since he got out the hospital in such a short amount of time and yeah things have already changed between him and me but totally abandoning him as a friend seems a bit harsh but I guess I'll just reconsider everything when he either comes out as a complete liar or doesn't provide proof and sticks to his story... He already lost his girlfriend over this
     
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  15. Fee

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    His girlfriend is a smart woman. It's not harsh to abandon him as a friend when he has essentially already done that to you. Do you lie to your friends like that?

    Was he ever in the hospital at all, for anything?
     
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  16. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    No I don't lie to my friends at all, I get too paranoid thinking that I will get caught up so I avoid lying. And yeah she basically couldn't trust him anymore. Ever in the hospital? I have no idea I've gotten to the point where I don't believe anything he's told me anymore, so its a mystery to me if he's done anything he's told me he's done.
     
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  17. Fee

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    You know, you can train people how to treat you by the way you react. He's lying to you because you let him get away with lying to you. You've basically told him, by your acceptance, that it's perfectly okay with you that he doesn't respect you or your friendship, so he will continue to do this to you. You were frustrated and upset enough about this to come to this forum and start a thread about it, so its obvious you don't like what he is doing. The choice is yours.
     
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  18. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Yeah, you're right I just came to these forums out of frustration since earlier today was the first time two of my friends and I confronted him about this problem and I was just trying to find any other way to make him stop denying these blatant lies. I guess we brought this upon ourselves for waiting so long to finally confront him about his problem.
     
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  19. GeorgeLucas

    GeorgeLucas Banned

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    I don't see ANY reason why a person would make up such a sensational and pointless story as receiving a lung transplant, but your friend has a problem. You're probably the best one to confront him about it - let him know that this doodoo has got to stop and that you still support and accept him as a friend.
     
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  20. Okazaki Fragment

    Okazaki Fragment Semi-Pro

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    Just ask him to show you his anti-transplant rejection drugs.
     
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  21. Spawn of Cthulhu

    Spawn of Cthulhu New User

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    Every patient I've ever seen who had a lung transplant (or a lung removal) has an impressive scar on the back. If he doesn't have one, then he's never been cut on.
     
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  22. Vermillion

    Vermillion Banned

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    tell your friend trevor to send back the real racquet to mark while you're at it
     
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  23. ichibanosaru

    ichibanosaru Guest

    WOW...

    Aside from the fact that a lung transplant has to be one of the MOST grave and complicated surgical procedures known to modern medicine, I am more concerned about WHY he would make up such a story?

    All of us have known at least ONE pathological liar in our life (me, a few more) and to me it seems they tend to grow out of it as they get older. There are also "fishing tale" buddies who may stretch the truth a bit in certain social situations, but when a clear-cut and honest answer is needed, they deliver the truth.

    Although I can't tell YOU what to do, I would simply call him on it in a subtle way (with just the two of you), move on and keep the friendship. If this problem persists, then I don't know what to tell you.

    God bless your buddy, take care of him and possibly keep us posted?
     
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  24. Okazaki Fragment

    Okazaki Fragment Semi-Pro

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    He probably did go into the hospital, not for a lung transplant, but for some embarrassing procedure. Like hemorrhoid surgery, etc.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2009
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  25. ichibanosaru

    ichibanosaru Guest

    If you don't mind me asking, how old is he? I'd bet he is a teen :-?. If so, I would also bet he will grow out of it to some extent. Poor guy...
     
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  26. maverick66

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    i had a friend just like this. no matter what he had to be the center of attention so he would make up whatever lie he could. i would just accept that that was how he would try for acceptance. in the end it got nasty as he started making up lies about me as well. so my advice is cut and run. you dont want to be in the situation i was and having friends coming up to me angry. he has a problem and one thats not going away anytime soon,
     
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  27. ichibanosaru

    ichibanosaru Guest

    10 char.....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2009
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  28. tfm1973

    tfm1973 Semi-Pro

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    since this is a tennis forum you should challenge him to a match. then make him run and run and run. see how his lungs hold up. if he survives - liar. if he doesn't - not a liar.

    lol. just messing. he's a liar. if you can't beat him -- join him. tell him you've only got a few weeks to live. unless you can find a lung donor. . .
     
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  29. PimpMyGame

    PimpMyGame Hall of Fame

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    Why let him aggravate you to this degree? Show your "friend" some tough love by giving him the elbow until he stops talking BS.
     
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  30. ThA_Azn_DeViL

    ThA_Azn_DeViL Semi-Pro

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    I've seen this all over, my OWN cousin's called me cheap just because i didnt want her to get me a game (apparently i was suppose to get her something too), she started spreading the word to all my friends, and here I am.

    Just ignore him, its always fight or flight, if you've had a good history with him, try to confront him, if he doesnt comply, tell him to go learn some manners, and just leave. Unfortunately theres not much you can do when a blatent liar is on the run, because when he changes his ways, you still dont know if hes lying or not.
     
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  31. goober

    goober Legend

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    Just ask him if he wasn't sure it was a brain transplant because all the sudden he is acting like a f-ing idiot:cool:
     
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  32. woodrow1029

    woodrow1029 Guest

    I think as a good friend, you NEED to address this to his parents. If your parents are friends with his, let your parents know. I think he is looking for attention. This may be a sign of a more serious psychological problem that needs to be addressed soon.
     
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  33. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    I beat Nadal yesterday.
     
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  34. crazysoccer00

    crazysoccer00 Rookie

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    wow Nadal is a liar cause he told me he beat u. Imma call him out on that lie
     
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  35. goober

    goober Legend

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    Maybe he meant Rachel Nadal? I hear she has a pretty mean 2 HBH :wink:
     
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  36. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Yup these things go away with age, except in the serious cases. Once you start to earn a living, and realize that very few people care about you, whether you speak the truth or lie, the satisfaction of lying to people goes away. Teenagers and college students tell such lies to get a kick out of the shocked reactions of their friends. When no one gives a rat's ass, there is no kick to be got.
     
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  37. Steve Huff

    Steve Huff Legend

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    I can answer this with a lot of knowledge since I am an RN and I have received a kidney/pancreas transplant. First, the idea about asking about his meds is good. If he's had a transplant, he'll be on antirejection meds: Cellcept (Mycophenolate), Prograf (Tacrolimus), and/or some form of Cyclosporin (there are several out there now). Also, he would be on Prednisone. A sure sign of being on Prednisone is that his face would have puffed out some. Depending on how long ago the transplant was, other medical things would occur. Longterm transplant patients have a very high incidence of joint replacements (mostly due to the Prednisone). Shortterm, his face would be a lot fatter (also due to the high doses of Prednisone given initially). Plus, he would probably put on some weight AFTER the transplant since prednisone makes you hungry. Maybe you could just ask him who his transplant doctor is. Then, look up the doctor on google and see if he exist.

    Something others brought out--a lung tx's scars don't just go away. They're huge.

    If he keeps insisting, ask him when he's going to play in the Transplant Games (like the Special Olympics for transplant patients). I played in 1998 when it was in Columbus Ohio. They take place every other year (even numbers) at different places in the US. If you look up 1998 Transplant Games, find "tennis", you'll see my picture. I was using a Prince Ripstick at the time.
     
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  38. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    Tell him you're having a friend transplant....oh, and maybe blasting the opening vocals to "Machinehead" by Bush in the background might add a nice touch.
     
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  39. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    Thank you everyone for all of your opinions and thoughts. This truly helped me figure out what I plan to do regarding all of his lies. And I will definately keep you guys posted because he supposedly wants to talk to us later on today, probably later this evening or tonight, but most likely tomorrow. I really don't think I can put up with his nonsense so if he tries to lie to us or try to concoct some bs plan to make us think he's telling the truth, I really think I'm going to drop him as a friend. If he is still going to act like a blatant liar, then I don't want anything to do with him.

    ichibanosaru, to answer your question, yes, he is a teen, we are 16 and juniors in high school.

    Steve Huff, thank you for all of that useful information, if it comes to the point where he does not confess to his lies and I will have to PROVE his stupid lies, this information will definately come in handy.

    Finally, Vermillion, umm... I don't know if this was directed to me, or if you were directing this to another member, but I don't know what you're talking about and I don't have a friend named Trevor...
     
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  40. TourTenor

    TourTenor Professional

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    Pathologically Speaking

    B-rian ... I gotta think he is ly'n :cry:
    But, if that's not the case, he may have been operated on by none other than .... Dr. Fedace :mrgreen:!
    They say Stanford is top rung .... certainly, we would trust him to remove your friend's lung :shock: ??
     
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  41. dennis10is

    dennis10is Banned

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    Cut him open and show it live over the internet. You can zoom in and shows that there are no scar tissues around his lungs. He'll be shown to be a liar.
     
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  42. MegacedU

    MegacedU Professional

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    I think it's sad that he has to lie about that sort of thing to feel like he's getting the attention he needs. It's like that crazy woman who claimed to have cancer wherever she went and shaved her head and gave herself radiation burns.

    However, there are different statuses when it comes to transplants. Sometimes, if someone is found to need an organ urgently, they're bumped to a higher status. However, you're right, it could take years to find a match. The tricky thing with lungs though, is that someone living could donate one. In which case his story is much more feasible. But the 3-4 day recovery time? That seems a bit short to me, I was sick a couple of years ago and I was in the hospital on morphine for over a week. I'm pretty sure he'd have to have stayed there for longer than that to see if the body would accept the transplant.
     
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  43. Steve Huff

    Steve Huff Legend

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    I got to thinking about how the topic ever came up in the first place. Did he just come out an say he had a lung transplant, or was it something else? If you and some buddies were trying to get him to smoke cigarettes or some pot, maybe he said to say "no", and not look so "un-cool". So, how did the topic come up in the first place?
     
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  44. WillAlwaysLoveYouTennis

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    For the first part, these days in the US economic crunch to all departments, epsecially insurance coverage. It could be he was out earlier from the hospital than would have been a few years ago. A friend had a kidney transplant a few months ago (yes, it is less intensive than a lung transplant granted) but they had her out within 2 days because insurance wasn't going to pay for anymore than that. The first transplant she had 4 years ago, she was in for almost 3 weeks before released.

    It is not BS that it takes over a year for a transplant donor. It is solely based on a positive match. If the need is dire, and it matches, it may take precendent over others on the waiting list.

    Scarring is different for different people. Some people scar a lot, some ethnicities will keloid also. With newer techniques which are smoother, and follow both surgical and different types of creams, some of which contain steroids, it is possible not to have a lot of scarring.

    I think it is not a matter of confirming whether he was lying or not. Why would you want to do that? If you suspected lying though you've asked him or as someone suggested his parents...what do you have to gain by forcing someone to justifiy your accusations?

    If you did find that he lied, I would simply tell this person, I don't appreciate being treated this way and I don't think its fair that you tell this to other people. It could possibly be fraud, especially if he were collecting funds or benefits based on what he's claimed. He could be liable to be sued. Although you wouldnt agree with what he's done, I think judging them without knowing the psychological background on why they said it, is some premature. I would suggest they get some mental help, and be separate from them until they do. If they didn't, I personally wouldn't judge them, but I would not seek them out.

    Have been in the position before where I knew someone was lying, and they stood by the lies even though I and others knew what they said couldn't possibly be true. Quick and harsh judgements, I don't believe in though.

    Read more detailing in the thread on age of these people: it could be possible this person had a different or minor type of treatment to the lungs and is exaggerating it in order to get attention. Same still applies though...don't like the treatment, get some mental help, stay away until you can get this problem under control.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2009
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  45. junbumkim

    junbumkim Professional

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    Well, I am just going to assume that you are a teenager b/c only teenagers will relish on making something like that and waste time on proving them wrong.

    The best response would be, "Great, I believe you had the lung trasnplant" and never bring it up again. These people thrive on making up stories, so don't give them any reason to.

    If you really wanted to be cynical, you could tell him that you would really like to visit him for his next lung transplant because those lungs will only be viable in his body for next 5~8 years.

    Also, ask him for immunosuppresant pills that he's taking.

    On a second thought, he could be telling the truth, so you may not want to be so cynical.....

    I doubt the scars of that size could ever disappear even though you had the transplant done when you are 1~2 years old.
     
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  46. B-rian

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    Well, he was having a fight with his GF on the phone about something that APPARENTLY happened with him and another girl (who had a BF and he and the BF were good friends), which we ALSO suspect is a lie. And on the phone he SUPPOSEDLY had an asthma attack which we ALSO suspect, but is not very serious to us because he could have had an asthma attack or not. We suspect that he ACTED like he had an asthma attack to get some pity from his GF and get out of trouble. And a couple days later he says he has to get lung surgery and probably a week or two later he APPARENTLY goes to the hospital and 3-4 days later he gets out looking perfectly fine and has the strength to go to school. All through this time we are all worried sick of his condition but when he gets out of the hospital all fine and dandy we suspected that he was lying. He even went out to play some tennis with us a day after his operation. And it has been about 8-9 months since and he is not on any meds (he claims he WAS on meds). This is all very suspicious to us because he often lies and we have caught him lying many times before just not something this serious.
     
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  47. B-rian

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    I completely understand your points, but its just been hard for us to believe anything he says anymore since he lost most of his credibility from lying about many other things.

    And is it possible for a large scar from a lung transplant to COMPLETELY disappear within 8-9 months? There is absolutely NO trace of a scar ANYWHERE on his upper body.
     
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  48. B-rian

    B-rian Rookie

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    To clarify my intentions, my friends and I just want him to STOP lying about random things and the reason why we are confronting him on this certain situation is because if is indeed is lying, he went WAAAY too far because for the week or two before his operation, he was making us worried sick by saying things like "I'm hekka scared, I might/can die from this." And if he was lying, that was going WAAY too far to make us feel so scared and worried that we might lose him all for a lie...

    Basically, if he proves us wrong, we will truly apologize for ever doubting him, but if he is proved lying or confesses that he was lying, we will help him with his lying problem.
     
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  49. LanEvo

    LanEvo Hall of Fame

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    wasnt that Britney Spears?
     
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  50. MegacedU

    MegacedU Professional

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    Only the head shaving part.
     
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