god bless mommy, god bless daddy...

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by ty slothrop, Mar 28, 2005.

  1. ty slothrop

    ty slothrop Semi-Pro

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    and god bless phil. funnies m*therf*cker on a day-in day-out basis on these boards. whoops, did I just swear in my nightly prayers? mmm, it's gettin' a little toasty in here...
     
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  2. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    Amen, Mo'thersuperior! I'll second that deja vu all over again as well.
     
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  3. Frodo Baggins

    Frodo Baggins Semi-Pro

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    Come again? I'm lost what are you getting at?
     
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  4. gmlasam

    gmlasam Hall of Fame

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    Oh......oh........ *me go find place to hide* ;)
     
    #4
  5. Frodo Baggins

    Frodo Baggins Semi-Pro

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    Gmlasam: Are you on those Happy pills again? Do me a fave an get off those Happy pills..
     
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  6. gmlasam

    gmlasam Hall of Fame

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    Hehhehehe too late!!! *me hiding under my ball machine* :)
     
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  7. Frodo Baggins

    Frodo Baggins Semi-Pro

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    *Looks under ball machine an finds him there*-Taps foot .. shame shame on you..*grabs him by tail an pulls him out an put him in little white suit* there you go beddie bye for you.*puts him to bed* :) *hides happy pills*
     
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  8. gmlasam

    gmlasam Hall of Fame

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    *now in bed fast to sleep with deafening snoars rattling all throughout the house* ;) Hopefully, to find happy pills the next morning :)
     
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  9. Phil

    Phil Hall of Fame

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    Now that is a great complement, Ty. I'm...touched. I mean, you committed BLASHPHEMY to make that complement! Damn-thanks. And Dedans...you too...

    But...when I read that, after the initial blush wore off, one word popped into my head (well, more than one, actually): The Sean-inator, Sean-of-the Dead, The Grand Poobah and Exalted Pro-consul of the one-liner-yes, none other than YOU, Dedans! The feeling is mutual.

    God bless all of us for being able to maintain our sense of humor.
     
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  10. ty slothrop

    ty slothrop Semi-Pro

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    well, not quite all of us. let's leave aside the ignorant, the irascible, and the crotchety. oh yeah, and the petty! oops, one more, those who take themselves just a weeeeee bit too damn seriously.

    You know who you are, and I leave you for now with this nugget, this special kernel: the true dadaist knows that dada is dead.

    PS, Phil, others were making travel suggestions for your two weeks. Did you ever think about Newark, New Jersey between, say, November and February? Or Gary, Indiana during the same season? Ive got connections in both locales who would gladly put you up for nothing. Well, PRACTICALLY nothing. Just let me know
     
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  11. Phil

    Phil Hall of Fame

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    Yeah, I buy that-they don't need the blessing...re. Dada, LMAO at that one. That's ME!

    Newark, NJ in February...sigh...(looks up at sky, sees in his mind's eye palm trees gently swaying in the spring breeze...ON FIRE!!). I've been through there quite a bit, as a "reverse commuter" for a few years-some great Portuguese food and even caught a Bears game, just on a whim, instead of staying on the train. A tip, though...SKIP Newark Penn Station if at all possible and go thru Hoboken Sta.-there's one simply INCREDIBLE hottie that works the bar next to the Taco Bell inside the station...

    Gary, IN-hometown of Michael Jackson. Maybe a pilgrimage is in order. The birth place, childhood house, playground; does it have a "Memphis" feel to it, sort of like the Elvis' "aura" which permeates that town? Ahhh, what else is there? And who are these "connections" that you speak of?
     
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  12. Datacipher

    Datacipher Banned

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    I would go along with that. For if Phil is the Dean of Disputation, handing out well needed reprimands and guidance then surely Dedans is the Principal of Parody.
     
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  13. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    "Par-o-dee.....Par-o-dah.....Par-o-dee......Par-o-da-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!....

    Par-o-dee.....Par-o-dah.....Data's boudouir es Vamos' Shangril-La!"


    Frodo Braggins: Ivy, sometimes I see your posts containing 3 pictures. Now from left-to-right (not right-to-life but left-to-right), I see:

    1. Richie Blackmore: Pain-in-the-@ss guitarist for "Deep Purple"

    2. The anxiety-ridden countenence on the mug of that "B" grade heartthrob, John James, former cast member of the Aaron Spelling 80's tripe "Dynasty."

    3. Re: The "curly-haired" character wearing that 10 gallon hat:
    The offspring of James Dean (had James Dean reincarnated as a woman)
    and Dwight Yokum.

    Whazza matter Ivy, you don't know what the hell am I talking about?

    Welcome to the club. :)
     
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  14. Frodo Baggins

    Frodo Baggins Semi-Pro

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    Sean: Must be those Happy pills your taking ;) an plz Don't knock Kalan porter plzz..
     
    #14
  15. Phil

    Phil Hall of Fame

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    "The Dean..." Kind 'a interesting...To me, for some reason, that evokes B&D imagery. Probably shouldn't reveal TOO much here! And a few slobs out there might consider me the "Principal Pariah".
     
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  16. gmlasam

    gmlasam Hall of Fame

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    NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You gave my Happy Pills away???????? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *runs out the house and hides under the ball machine*
     
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  17. Frodo Baggins

    Frodo Baggins Semi-Pro

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    awww*Walks over to gmlasam *looks under ball machine*see look what I got;) Happy blue pills:)* gives them to gmlasam* pulls him out an again puts on white suit*Tucks him in bed sleep my doll* you funny lill boy;)
     
    #17
  18. TripleTennisBumB

    TripleTennisBumB New User

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    With so much drama on the TWB
    It’s kinda hard bein TripleTennisBumB

    But i, somehow, some way
    Keep comin up with funky arse sheet like every single day
    May i, kick a little something for the g’s (yeah)
    And, make a few ends as (yeah!) I breeze, through
    Two in the mornin and the party’s still jumpin
    Cause my momma ain’t home
    I got beatches in the forum gettin it on
    And, they ain’t leavin til six in the mornin (six in the mornin)
    So what you wanna do, sheeeit
    I got a pocket full of dampners and my homeboys do too
    So turn off the lights and close the dohs
    But (but what) we don’t love them hoes, yeah!
    So we gonna smoke a ounce to this
    G’s up, hoes down, while us goofysuckers bounce to this

    Chorus

    Rollin down the boads, hopin fo mo, sippin on gin and juice
    Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]

    Verse two:

    Now, that, I got me some seagram’s gin
    Everybody got they cups, but they ain’t chipped in
    Now this types of sheet, happens all the time
    You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine
    Everything is fine when you listenin to the Trip-Bum-B
    I got the cultivating music that be captivating he
    Who listens, to the words that I speak
    As I take me a drink to the middle of the street
    And get to mackin to this beatch named Yonie
    She used to be the homeboy’s lady (oh, that beatch)
    Eighty degrees, when I tell that beatch please
    Raise up off these TNTs, cause you gets none of these
    At ease, as I mob with the BUM pound, feel the breeze
    Beeeitch, I’m just

    Chorus

    Rollin down the boads, hopin fo mo, sippin on gin and juice
    Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]

    Verse three:

    Later on that day
    My homey dr. b came through with a gang of tanqueray
    And a fat arse j, of some bubonic chronic that made me choke
    Sheet, this ain’t no joke
    I had to back up off of it and sit my cup down
    Tanqueray and chronic, yeah I’m furshed up now
    But it ain’t no stoppin, I’m still poppin
    B got some beatches from the city of raleigh
    To serve me, not with a cherry on top
    Cause when I bust my slice, I’m raisin up off the court
    Don’t get upset girl, that’s just how it goes
    I don’t love you hoes, I’m out the doh
    And I’ll be

    Chorus

    Rollin down the boads, hopin fo mo, sippin on gin and juice (beeotch!!)
    Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]
    Rollin down the boads, hopin fo mo, sippin on gin and juice (beeotch!!)
    Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]
     
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  19. Senator Jay Bullworth

    Senator Jay Bullworth New User

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    Jerome (the Senator's aide-de-camp):
    "I thought that after the Vamos post, there'd be some mo' romance. Snap!...now we got rookies dressed as cripples wantin' to lead the dance!"

    "Senator, ya scallawag! Tell them ho's to get outta yo' bed and to 'Audi 5000' 'cause we got business to attend to!"

    Senator Jay Bullworth: "Sorry ladies.....Jerome's the boss. Gas up the Coupe-de-Ville Jerome, we're goin' bouncin'!"

    Jerome: "'Bout time ya boozin', womanizin' bum!"



    So this wanna-be rapper, this copy cat ofay
    Claims he's "coming up with funky sheet every single day?"
    New to the TW boards his total posts number "TWO?"
    I'm the JAY BULLWORTH!!....Now who the mother f--- are you?!

    The "God Bless Mommy..God Bless Daddy" theme at first to me
    Seemed a nightly geek prayer outta Duke University
    Turns out Ty Slothrop CO'rectly "proped" Phil's wit as wack
    Hell, you'd think, Triple B'd give us "home-grown" snaps!

    Looks like originality cum and done flew the coup
    'Cause there's "no fly" in his warmed-up, watered-down, Snoop soup
    First off, when's the last time you actually slammed down gin?
    Coppin' licks? Liftin' riffs? Plagerizin's a sin.

    Chorus:
    If it ain't come from yo' head, you best put it to bed
    Chirp what OTHERS said? You forfeit all street "cred"

    Hosting some boasting 'bout what 'cha know
    'Cept you did it on the shoulder's of Snoop Dog's show
    So pounding Seagrams and Tanqueray you claim is what you do?
    Chump juice!! Real gin's Beefeater's 'n Sapph. Bombay Blue.

    Yo' a highwire act, stealin' raps is so low
    Sayin' THIS about THAT, givin' rippin'-off a go.
    Trip-B, you ain't talkin' off the top-'o-YOUR head
    It's like tryin' to sing, but instead mumblin' all you've said
    Stealing lines you choose, trapped and dead-you lose
    So much for a self-penned muse about booze....

    You're skippin' for a whippin'
    You're bleatin' for a beatin'
    You're angling for a strangling
    You're totterin' for a slaughterin' ... and
    YOU'RE FLOATIN' FOR A SLIT-THROATIN' ... 'CAUSE YOUR POST NEEDED MAJOR FOOTNOTIN'
    "Stop!!.....Thief!"

    With my TW Board biography revealing my (needless) need for bibliography to be a moot point exercise in self-parody, I am, the Blue-juice, Bombay Jay bomber, whose words-as-b-i-r-d-s verse would be covered in white (i.e. b-i-r-d-s-h-i-t ... comprende' ofay?), and, as always, I remain,

    Your loving servant,
    Senator Jay Bullworth

    (meanwhile, in a backroom....with Jerome holdin' a metal pipe in his hand)

    Jerome: "What's the name, ofay?!"

    Trip-B: "Senator Jay!"

    Jerome: "Jay WHAT?!...for what it's worth?!!"

    Trip-B: "Senator Jay-as-in-God.....Senator Jay BULLworth!"

    (bring me something new...and Sapphire Blue.....not something borrowed and not true).
     
    #19
  20. TripleTennisBumB

    TripleTennisBumB New User

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    Stealin a rap ain't as bad as you say
    A tribute to Snoop Mista Senator Jay
    I'm just a po 'o cracka down in the NC
    Never meant no harm to Snoop D-O-G

    Don't mean to host no boast, not tryin to crow
    Never meant to busta move on the Snoop Dogg show
    Pounding Seagrams is all this G can tho
    Chump juice, that hurts, Imma Po Mofo
     
    #20
  21. Senator Jay Bullworth

    Senator Jay Bullworth New User

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    I can't fight with contrite, try as I might,
    And now that I think of it, dog puddles-I used to drink from it.
    Seagrams gin? What the f---, who am I to rant 'n boast?
    I raise my Ol' English "8" and say "Good job 'Triple B' ... I owe you a toast."

    (btw, there's "another" Triple B on these boards who's known for demoing every racquet known to man---you're not that same "Triple B" are you?)

    Welcome to the club "hom" ;-)
     
    #21
  22. Fee

    Fee Legend

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    Oh man this is the best thread ever! Hopefully no one comes in here and pees in our cheerios...

    Props to Phil!
     
    #22
  23. Phil

    Phil Hall of Fame

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    Thanks much, Fee. With the Sen. here now, no one would dare risk a serious cyber demolition.

    I was WAITING for the good Sen. to rain rhetorical, rhythming lightning bolts down on this rookie rapper-fun stuff!

    "If it ain't come from yo' head, you best put it to bed
    Chirp what OTHERS said? You forfeit all street "cred" "

    That's REALLY good. I mean clever as all hell... I'm stealing this for my own use-it will come in handy, w/apologies to the Senator, of course.
     
    #23
  24. ty slothrop

    ty slothrop Semi-Pro

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    only in my wildest of dreamz could a rap battle 80's Mott Haven style flown up outta my nightly prayaz. i guess now we know what triple b's been up to since he gave his POG mid's strung with luxilon big banger alu 16L to the local good will. beeeeyotch!

    oh yeah, a footnote: dedans likes to indulge in a little duke slander every now and again, and the supreme senator slipped in a duke jibe as well..... ponder amongst yourselves
     
    #24
  25. Brettolius

    Brettolius Professional

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    screw duke!!
     
    #25
  26. ty slothrop

    ty slothrop Semi-Pro

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    or, as the signs say, Duck ***e
     
    #26
  27. ty slothrop

    ty slothrop Semi-Pro

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    LOL, they censored F*U*K*E!
     
    #27

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