He Who Lurks Beneath The Draws

Discussion in 'Pro Match Results and Discussion' started by cucio, Mar 19, 2013.

  1. cucio

    cucio Legend

    May 13, 2007
    And it was then that Earnests came out of Latvia. Who he was, none could tell, but he was of the old native blood and looked like a Tzar. The T'wers knelt when they saw him, yet could not say why. He said he had risen up out of the blackness of twenty-seven centuries, and that he had heard messages from places not on this planet. Into the lands of civilisation came Earnests, swarthy, slender, and sinister, always buying strange hookers and combining them into debauched practices yet stranger. He spoke much of the clubs - of beer and phags - and gave exhibitions of power which sent his spectators away speechless, yet which swelled his fame to exceeding magnitude. Men advised one another to see Earnests, and shuddered. And where Earnests went, rest vanished; for the small hours were rent with the screams of a nightmare.

    The Time is close. The Crawling Chaos, wondrous and horrific, oozes through the shadows and all must despair, only the deranged priests of the Cult Of Gulbis may yet be spared and gloriously ascend to the darkness far beyond the stars or sink ignominiously beneath the dirty waves. Join the C.O.G. and let your sanity become yet another crack in the devastating storm.

    Praise and Scorn be to Earnests, He Who Lurks Beneath the Draws. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Gulbis R'hyga wgah'nagl fhtagn. In his dwelling at Riga, non-living Gulbis awaits dreaming.
  2. zagor

    zagor Talk Tennis Guru

    Sep 13, 2007
    Weak era
    Anyone who gazes upon Gulbis in his full glory, ends up in a nuthouse, true story.
  3. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

    Sep 10, 2010
    In a sureshsian vortex
    Hopefully, and soon, he shall rise to the top of draws and slay The Beasts of Compulsion. Finally, the tennis world will be able to celebrate an entertaining cult of personality!
  4. heninfan99

    heninfan99 Legend

    Oct 17, 2008
    He lurks beneath the draws because they won't give him a wild card.
  5. W.P. Mayhew

    W.P. Mayhew Semi-Pro

    Jun 25, 2012
    The wild card should be renamed the Gulbis Card and Gulbis should always have one, even if he is seeded.

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