Heeeeelp! Wife 1.0

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by jaZZirat, Dec 2, 2005.

  1. jaZZirat

    jaZZirat New User

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    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity: applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Tennis 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks,
    A Troubled User.
     
    #1
  2. jaZZirat

    jaZZirat New User

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    Tech Support

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
     
    #2
  3. nViATi

    nViATi Hall of Fame

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    I'm pretty sure that you didn't come up with that yourself. You should post your source instead of trying to plagiarize.
     
    #3
  4. supremebeing

    supremebeing Rookie

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    Many people quickly tire of wife 1.0 and upgrade to 2.0. I think that you should consider carefully before installing any wife programs as they tend to remain in the system for long periods of time and reqire a great deal of maintainance. Read the license agreement carefully before installing. Uninstalling is a costly process that requires professional help and can lead to excessive costs that you may not have considered.
     
    #4
  5. Docalex007

    Docalex007 Hall of Fame

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    Dear Troubled User,

    Get a new computer! ;)
     
    #5
  6. __jt__

    __jt__ New User

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    hmm...is he trying to pull a sudan? makes me think...
     
    #6
  7. Keifers

    Keifers Legend

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    Take a powder and leave him alone, nViati! Jeez!...
     
    #7
  8. Geezer Guy

    Geezer Guy Hall of Fame

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    Actually, Wife 1.0 and Wife 2.0 can run simultaneously. In some situations - given you have the resources and are a glutton for punishment - you can even install Wife 3.0 at the same time. However, this is only allowed in Utah.
     
    #8
  9. bluegrasser

    bluegrasser Hall of Fame

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    like they say: " 2's company, 3's a crowd"..
     
    #9
  10. MegacedU

    MegacedU Professional

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    Thattt made my head hurt. I still don't really understand the point of it...since you did, afterall, answer yourself.
     
    #10
  11. mclee025

    mclee025 Rookie

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    That was funny! Thanks jazzirat
     
    #11
  12. StraightSets

    StraightSets Semi-Pro

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    lol funny stuff.
     
    #12
  13. dmastous

    dmastous Professional

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    My Wife 1.0 immediately launched it's nag nag 9.5 subroutine followed by the SilentTreatment 2.0 subroutine, then ran the two routines in a rotating fashion until I had to ship it off and begin the uninstall program. I'm still waiting to get the money together to pay the technician to perform the delete operations.
     
    #13
  14. La Bomba

    La Bomba Professional

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    lol (10 chars) Good Thread
     
    #14
  15. racingdad23

    racingdad23 Semi-Pro

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    My friend had a similiar problem with his OS. He had his system hacked - yes someone broke in and installed Boyfriend 8.8 on his Wife 1.0 system without his knowledge. After Divorce Court 5.5 was installed he got to keep Daughter 2.1, Son 2.3, Dog 4.6 and of course House 6.8. She got to keep Mother in Law 7.2 and Sexually Transmitted Disease 6.9. He is now running multiple applications of Girlfriend 2.0 and Girlfriend 3.0 and seems to be much happier.
     
    #15

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