I haven't played much USTA tennis since 2008, but after hearing about all the bump-ups I went on TennisLink to see what happened to some buddies. To my great surprise I see that I'VE been bumped! I only played one league match in 2009 and managed to get slaughtered 2-6, 2-6 by my opponent. I can only assume he turned pro after the season ended, because on the strength of that phenomenal performance I have joined the ranks of the elite. I set some modest goals when I first started playing tennis. Lacking strokes, technique, or any discernible talent I wanted to get to 4.0. Much like George Bush I'm unfurling my banner. I set the bar low, and the USTA just pushed me over it. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Watch out for me, baby.