How long did it take you to get back on the court after your first child?

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by JRstriker12, Sep 22, 2007.

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How long did it take you to get back on the court after your first child?

  1. Never stopped - My son/daughter was born in the middle of a league match.

    4 vote(s)
    20.0%
  2. Celebrated a few days laters with a match.

    4 vote(s)
    20.0%
  3. Hit the courts a few weeks later to get the rhythm back.

    3 vote(s)
    15.0%
  4. It was a few months before I shook off the rust and hit a few.

    8 vote(s)
    40.0%
  5. Never got back - years later, my wood rackets are still collecting dust.

    1 vote(s)
    5.0%
  1. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    I put this in the adult league area since I need the opinion of the adults - preferably other parents on this site.

    As a new father to be - me and my wife are expecting the birth of our daughter in about two weeks - I am taking a break from tennis to help my wife.

    For other parents on the site, how long did it take you to get back on the courts after the birth of your first child?
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2007
    #1
  2. goober

    goober Legend

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    First one I wasn't playing tennis but I took about 3-4 months off from doing anything outside of work and kid. Second one I took off about the same. The third one I just started playing within a week I was just tired a lot. :) Of course the number of times a week was usually just one but hey that was better than nothing. My wife had her time off and I had mine. Overall it worked out a lot better than being completely consumed by the kids and work.
     
    #2
  3. goober

    goober Legend

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    Oh yeah- congrats!:D
     
    #3
  4. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Thanks! I am excited but also a bit overwhelmed. Also thanks for the input. I hear the first one is the one where people tend to drop everything and pay a lot of attention. A few of my buddies were like - after the send or third kid, they treated it all as no big deal since they've bee through it before and hit the courts within a few days.

    I do hope that my daughter takes a liking to the game. Some of the best times I had with my dad were on the courts.
     
    #4
  5. TheShaun

    TheShaun Hall of Fame

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    congrats, jrstriker12 :)

    i have no kids of my own, but in my circle of friends there is a 4 month old and a 1 month old. last night was the first time i saw my buddies since their kids were born, only because it was a stag for one of our other friends. they seemed pretty happy for guys who go to bed at 8pm and only get 2 hours of sleep.

    the answer to your question is... you can get back on the courts as soon as your wife lets you!
     
    #5
  6. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    You have no kids but you are a wise person! ;)
     
    #6
  7. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    I had two within 18 months. I was playing a little the whole time, but the truth is that I didn't really get back to my previous 4.5 level until they were 6 and 5 years old. Everything changes, like they tell you....
     
    #7
  8. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

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    The medical opinion (which is almost of no importance, IMO) is to consider it after 6 weeks (for the mom). However, if you just had your first child and you are seeking to spend time on a tennis court anywhere near the first 3 months after they get here, then you've got your priorities screwed up...
     
    #8
  9. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    What did you do with your first kid?
     
    #9
  10. wally

    wally Rookie

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    Amen Brother!! My good friend had #2 (actually the wife did) over 6 weeks ago and I haven't seen him since. Believe it or not I 've had longer talks with his dad than I have with him. Luckily, I married a woman ( played college tennis) who understands the disease that is tennis.

    Just make sure you give your wife a few "time outs" where you take the kid and she gets some personal time (no kid no husband) and she should reciprocate. My other suggestion if you say honey I'll be back in 2 hrs be back in 2 hrs or be early. Post partum women do not understand "but honey it was 5 all in the third set." I found that one out the hard way

    good Luck your life will never be the same
     
    #10
  11. Shosho

    Shosho New User

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    Kids have a way of changing one's priorities....
     
    #11
  12. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    It sounds like you're asking for advice on how to get away to play despite the kid. :)

    That's OK. Parents needn't drop their own pursuits just because they have a kid.

    Just make sure that for every hour you spend on a tennis court, you spend two taking care of the baby. That's right. 2-to-1 ratio. You play for two hours, you take the baby the entire afternoon so your wife can pamper herself.

    And please. Do not do the Helpless Dad Routine. When you are putting in your time with the baby, pack that diaper bag, get some bottles ready, leave the house and take charge of that baby. No fair asking your wife a question every 4 minutes or pretending you can't handle the baby because you can't nurse him/her.

    Congratulations! Becoming a parent was the best thing that ever happened to me.
     
    #12
  13. JLyon

    JLyon Hall of Fame

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    I was back on the court within 2 weeks just for sanity, but no longer play 2-3 times a week, more of a weekend warrior now.
     
    #13
  14. tfm1973

    tfm1973 Semi-Pro

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    Congrats! My wife and I had our first child (baby girl) 2 months ago. In the last few months before birth - I was able to get out about 4-5 times a week and play for a few hours a session. Immediately after birth for the first month - I was too busy helping change diapers, feeding, laundry, washing bottles, etc. And any free time was spent sleeping.

    In the second month I've been able to get out once during the week and once usually on Sunday. Now I'm on Week 10 and I usually play twice during the week and once on Sunday.

    Before pregnancy, my wife and I used to hit and she's been dying to get on the courts. This weekend we're going away to the beach and she's packing her racquet. She doesn't think she'll last very long but you gotta start back at ground zero.

    I've sold my 12 ounce racquets last week and bought some racquets that weigh 11 ounces. Far easier to play with. My game is not what it used to be but I'm more excited to get teach my little girl as soon as possible. I can't wait til she can beat her fat old man on the court. :)
     
    #14
  15. spot

    spot Hall of Fame

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    Seriously people need to understand that the first few months with a baby are freaking HARD. I really get annoyed when people act like wanting to spend ANY time away doing things that they enjoy indicate messed up priorities. Take a couple hours once in a while to go play tennis- you will be a better parent because the time you spend with your child you won't be quite so braindead. People need time to have their batteries recharged! Its harder because of the nursing thing but find ways of letting your wife get away from the responsibility for a little while as well.
     
    #15
  16. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Amen, Spot. Also, the child is a *blob* for the first six months, easy. It's quite possible to fall into a way of thinking of the infant/toddler as an Obstacle To Having Fun.

    So have your fun. Just make sure the mom gets to have plenty of fun too. Twice as much fun, actually. 'Cause even if she works too, she often winds up doing the heavy lifting when it comes to child care.

    Cindy -- been there X 3
     
    #16
  17. pmata814

    pmata814 Professional

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    I have a 7 month old boy (our first child by the way). I was very fortunate that her mom would come over and stay with her for several days at a time and my mom would do the same. So I was able to get a match in here and there very soon after the birth of the baby. But I didn't really start going back regularly until about 6-8 weeks after he was born, and even then it was just once a week like on a Saturday when I knew my mother would be available should my wife need anything (my parents are our neighbors).

    What "spot" says is very true. I am of the opinion that yes your life changes completely but that just means you have to find another way of doing what you used to do, possibly cut back a bit on previous activities but by no means does it mean giving it up.

    Now, at 7 months, I'm pretty much back to 3 days of Tennis a week. My wife and I both work and we each have days when we want to perform certain activites. For example: I play tennis on Tuesday, Sat. & Sun. and she works-out during the week, so I take care of the baby the days that she works out and we normally go out (shopping, lunch or whatever) on weekends after my morning tennis. So far it seems to be working well.
     
    #17
  18. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Hi all,

    I just want to thank you for all your great replies to my question. I want to reply to everyone individually, but things are a bit crazy at work.

    I'll post later when I get a bit more time this evening.

    JR
     
    #18
  19. jagsv650

    jagsv650 Rookie

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    :roll:

    I had my first son nine months ago and was back on the court within about a week or two. The amount I play now is a lot less (1-2 times a week instead of 3-4) but I use the time more efficiently so I don't think my game has suffered much from it. So many people let having kids end their social life. After the first few weeks when the baby isn't supposed to go to public places we took him everywhere. At about 3-4 weeks we were taking him to restaurants with us and at about 6 weeks he was in Miami getting his passport to go to Brazil with my wife. Does it make it a little more complicated to do some stuff sure but we still do it. He's much happier when we're out of the house doing something then when we're at home.

    Make sure you enjoy every moment you have with your daughter (congrats by the way) but don't stop doing other stuff too.
     
    #19
  20. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

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    Carried her around a lot while I did stuff compatible with carrying her.
     
    #20
  21. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

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    My point wasn't to endlessly stay in the four walls of your home a prisoner to your baby. I completely agree with everything you said in the highlit area and did so as well (except we went to Hawaii, not Brazil).
     
    #21
  22. neverstopplaying

    neverstopplaying Professional

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    Congradulations to all the new fathers. With family and work obligations, it's easy to say that tennis can wait.

    But tennis keeps me fit mentally and physically - necessary for family, work and balance in life. I was back on the court the next day. BTW I spend A LOT of time with my kids.

    :) neverstopplaying
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2007
    #22
  23. harleywilson

    harleywilson Rookie

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    But the stupid man syndrome has gotten me so far:)
     
    #23
  24. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Hi all,

    My daughter Brianna was born two weeks ago. She's a very healthy baby and me and my wife are very tired by very happy.

    Cindy, you'll be glad to know that I am the diaper king at this point ;) and providing my wife with as much help as I can.

    Between the baby, grad school, and recent surgery, I haven't gone near a tennis court. I've been pulling all-nighters to finish up school work and taking care of Baby Brianna on the weekends to give the wife a break. Not missing it as much as I thought I would because I am just so tired out. I'd probably fall asleep in the middle of the match. Lack of sleep also messes with your depth perception I've also come to realize. Try picking up a baby bottle in the middle of the night and you'll know.

    Even though I am not playing at the moment, me and Brianna have spent some quality time watching most of the Madrid Masters series on the tennis channel. I think she was cheering for Nalbandian, I was going to Federer. :)

    Can someone please tell me why those Yonex shirts remind me of bowling team shirts please?!?!

    Anyway, I can't wait until she's old enough to hit a ball. And no, I don't have any plans to become some crazy, annoying tennis parent. I just hope she comes to love the game as I do.
     
    #24
  25. TheShaun

    TheShaun Hall of Fame

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    #25
  26. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    #26
  27. bertrevert

    bertrevert Hall of Fame

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    Congrats!

    The first bub is such a wrench, and all the routines are so new, that for the first month there is no way I did anything but baby.

    It was about a 6 months before I could really hit the courts hard and then it was night time competitive play. Play at night - after 8pm for time for yourself. At that time at night the bub is alseep and his mum is fine and encouraged me to go play.

    Now number two came along and within the month I have managed to get back to a drills session one night (2 hrs) and a friendly set (1 hr at lunchtime) per week, it's not much but keeps me in tune.

    I am taking the first bub (now almost 3 years old) to his first set of ten half hour lessons on court. They just do basic stuff, motor skills and coordination for fun.

    But that's another thread: How long did it take your first child to get back onto court after you? ;)
     
    #27
  28. rasajadad

    rasajadad Hall of Fame

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    My wife wouldn't let me play for months!
     
    #28
  29. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Awwwwww . . . That's so sweet.

    A lot of guys want sons. They have no idea what they are missing if they don't have a daughter.

    That father-daughter emotional bond is not be believed. You've nothing but good times ahead, JRstriker. Congratulations!

    Cindy -- still feeling guilty for some of the terrible things she said to her husband during her postpartum, sleep-deprived, worried-sick-about-being-fat, hormone-infused state
     
    #29
  30. spadesss

    spadesss Semi-Pro

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    I have only played twice in 10 weeks after my baby boy was born. It was more of "glad to be out there and suck in some sunshine" than lets play some good tennis.
    I will plan to play as long as I have baby sitting covered....but I don't see that happening much (or at all). Wife is tired and I need to be there to take care of the kid and give her a break. She already does all the work during weekedays so I have the kid for weekend.

    The truth is that, as much as I missed tennis, I really don't missed it when I have a little cute baby smiling at me at 2am or 5am in the morning. I mainly played weekends, no league or anything serious or regulary. So my feelings to be on the court may not run as deep as some of you guys.

    If I do play, its tough to stay awake after getting only 4 hours of sleep.
    For some reason, I felt less stress (had high expectations for myself on the tennis court and I bomb really bad) and hit the ball better the 2 times I played after the kid was born.

    And I played when the wife suggested it, I don't bring it up (only if I was half joking...but that is still trouble some when she is in not so good mood). And be sure to bring back lunch for her in a timely fashion if I were to play in the morning!

    I am looking forward when I hit the court with my kid!
    I waited many years for a ball boy! oh ya!
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2007
    #30
  31. Cruzer

    Cruzer Professional

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    About 15 years. Children and all their various activities consume a lot of non-working hours.
     
    #31
  32. 10ispro

    10ispro Rookie

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    I was on back on the court within week after the birth of my 1st daughter, now 14months.
    After our 2nd daughter, now 4months, I was back on the court about a day and a half later.....

    B/c its my job, I dont have any other option:D

    Both my daughters love to be around the tennis court...my oldest loves to come watch me play and even give lessons. She loves to stare at the court and then when she hears my voice and find me, she gets very excited and screams "DA!!!!"

    They are also both very social, so they enjoy being around and meeting other tennis people.
    I wanted girls b/c girls have so many more advantages over boys. easier to shop for in every facet. Easier to get recognition for doing the same job as their male counterparts especially in sports. Scholarship opportunities. Girls are typically more fundamentally more competitive and they actually can learn to think before acting, much less impulsive.

    I did a Womens camps at my old club to help get the womens team ready for Interclub and one of the women asked if she could have her sister play one day during the week.
    She was running for every ball and working her ass off on every point. Then just in making conversation, someone asked if she had kids and she said yes.
    They asked how old and she said that her oldest was 3 and her youngest was 2 weeks....
    She was starting or actually restarting training to run the Boston Marathon after Tennis.....
    even I gasped when I heard that, b/c she didnt look like she even had 1 kid, let alone a 2 week old or that she had even been pregnant.
     
    #32
  33. tbini87

    tbini87 Hall of Fame

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    congrats! this thread was very informative and interesting to read through!
     
    #33
  34. Sakkijarvi

    Sakkijarvi Semi-Pro

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    I played in a baseball tournament on the day my daughter was born in 1993 -- it was a charity tournament for The Jimmy Fund and we were facing a team out of Washington Heights, NYC -- laden with ex pros. My wife was pretty cool about it although my mother-in-law...well...

    Funny thing, that child of mine has turned out to be an elite athlete -- a girl, who started playing varsity basketball as a 13 year old, went undefeated for her varsity tennis team this season after making it, trying out for the first time as a freshman @ 14...and I've spent untold hours over the years coaching, travel...as in 11 AAU travel tournaments this past spring, all on the road.

    Payback is a beach!
     
    #34
  35. Sakkijarvi

    Sakkijarvi Semi-Pro

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    Hey, I'm a man...but I figured you ladies wouldn't mind a little 'equal time'...
     
    #35
  36. zapvor

    zapvor Legend

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    The Striker! congratulations! just read your OP...a daughter too...the WTA can use good talent. so that's what you have been doing instead of coming to MAC meetings-making babies!
     
    #36
  37. zapvor

    zapvor Legend

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    Brianna dont listen to your father you can start swinging a racket now if you want. dont forget to keep your eye on the ball;)
     
    #37
  38. christophertowle

    christophertowle New User

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    I am speaking for my wife here, but our son was born on June 15th and we played our first mixed tournament towards the middle/end of August.

    We started walking with the baby to build up her stamina at about two weeks and then went out and hit little by little to get her court sense back.

    IMHO it is not just "step on the court", but you have to build up the stamina.

    My wife is a trooper, she played well into her 7th month. Our baby was c-section BTW.
     
    #38
  39. luckyskulls

    luckyskulls New User

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    I played well into my 8th month of pregnancy. (Doubles only, though) I couldn't keep my breath for USTA 4.0 singles.

    I had an emergency c-section and started light hitting about 5 weeks post-op. I was very careful for about 2-3 more weeks. (No serving/overheads, no all-out running etc..)

    After 6-8 weeks post-op, I felt about 90% and returned to "normal" play.

    It took a few months to really get to 100% and get match ready. It totally sucked playing while nursing though. I had a long match one day and had to RUN off the court and nurse.
     
    #39
  40. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Buy your wife some roses! That's awesome that she suggested you get out and play.

    Sleep is a big factor right now. I am so sleep deprived, I can't trust my coordination too much.
     
    #40
  41. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    I guess there are advantages to being a tennid pro. ;)

    I am lookinf forward to getting my daughter on the court in a few years. As a tennis pro, when do you start a kid out in playing tennis. I am not looking to do the crazy tennis parent thing, but I do want to introduce her to the game early. I see that they do have some kids classes in Reston, Va. I watched and it looked like the kids were all having fun. They were using thos big, slow foam balls to teach.

    As for that one woman, running a marathon and playing tennis 2 weeks after birth, she has to be hard-core. My wife's doctor recommended at least 6 weeks before starting serious physical activity again.
     
    #41
  42. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Thanks!

    Yeah well, I guess you have to take a break from tennis to handle business every once in a while.

    Really, it's more like I've been changing diapers and not sleeping instead of coming out to MAC meetings. ;)

    I'll get out there sometime, just give me a bit.
     
    #42
  43. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Good idea. I think we are going to have to get out and take the baby for a walk. I know I've been worried about hitting the courts in a few months since I haven't been doing much physical activity. Though it's getting kind of cold out - and the wife hates to go out when the temps drop below 70. I guess we'll have to do some mall walking.
     
    #43
  44. Sup2Dresq

    Sup2Dresq Hall of Fame

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    It has been quiet this tennis season without your yelps of anguish and triumph.
     
    #44
  45. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    LOL! Yeah, I'll be back. Think I am vocal - you should meet my kid. ;)
     
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