How Not To Handle Not Being Invited

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by Cindysphinx, Nov 30, 2012.

  1. darrinbaker00

    darrinbaker00 Professional

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    Why the heck not?
     
    #51
  2. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    A lot has to do with how it's done. If it's done with some compassion, face to face letting them down easy...nah, what am I saying, that's never worked when breaking up, why would it work for a tennis team? Just e-mail 'em that you're cutting 'em loose, park nose out and get ready to peel out.

    To be fair, I would have a playoff and let the best players prove themselves. Very few team captains I've know are able to judge tennis talent as well as a tennis pro can. Best thing is hire a tennis pro to pick the team, then you can blame him.
     
    #52
  3. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    Not to hijack this thread, but Cindy could you tell me if it is ok to join another team if your team from last year has not been in touch since the end of the season and you are now being recruited by last year's first place team ? I'm feeling conflicted about this, but I'm leaning towards jumping ship.
     
    #53
  4. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Hey, hijacks are fine!

    I think players are free to jump ship so long as they haven't accepted an invitation already. If you want to be on that other team, this is your chance.

    Now, if you like your old team and think the captain just hasn't sent out invitations yet, you could inquire. That would be a nice thing to do if you have a long history with the team.

    Often, however, silence from a prior team means either there will be no team or you won't be on it. It would be really awkward to ask your old captain only to have him tell you that you have been given the heave ho.

    Speaking of hijacks . . . . I have to say, it really bothers me when players accept an invitation, sit on it for months, and then change their minds and go play for another team. The asymmetry is a problem. I am not free to bump them from the team once they have accepted if a better player comes along, but they feel free to blow off their commitment to our team for greener pastures.

    It makes a captain want to start requiring non-refundable $100 deposits to hold someone's place on the roster . . .
     
    #54
  5. buruan

    buruan New User

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    Thats a Generation ME problem if I ever heard one.
    Less and less people can handle critizism.

    A few years back I played for a 3.0 team and was the worst player on the team, I didn't get invited back the next season.
    I wasn't happy about it, but in all seriousness, it makes sense to replace the weakest player.

    I improved, and got recruited to a 3.5 team, in the City playoffs we played that exact team (by now mostly bumped to 3.5), I played in the winning 1st doubles getting us to sectionals, and sending them packing.

    Either way, yes, just with everything in life if you are the worst of a certain group, you will likely get dropped.
     
    #55
  6. tennis tom

    tennis tom Hall of Fame

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    Well said, revenge is sweet, anger is a great motivator.
     
    #56
  7. buruan

    buruan New User

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    Ha.
    Anger is a bit strong a word here.
    But winning that game was sweet indeed.
     
    #57
  8. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Revenge wins. Now that would make an interesting thread.
     
    #58
  9. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    I think the belief that women take it worse than men is a fallacy, men are just as bad, and they might be more motivated to exact "revenge" than women. I've heard tons of "how do you like me now ??" stories from guys, rarely from women.
     
    #59
  10. seleswannabe

    seleswannabe Rookie

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    ^^Agreed Cindy, but it's like the saying, "I need experience to get a job, but I can't get experience unless I get a job"....

    I am not sure about other clubs, but the 4.0 women at my club can be very elitist. If you don't know the right people, or aren't the kind of person they wish to include, you will not be included. In ANYTHING. I wish it were about "the tennis", but sadly with women it's about so much more.
     
    #60
  11. andfor

    andfor Hall of Fame

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    How about Captains recruiting players to keep them off other teams to keep from playing against them, but have little intention of playing them? Maybe two match minumum. It happens and is done to dilute the competition pool. Sad.
     
    #61
  12. Gemini

    Gemini Hall of Fame

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    Sounds like she does if the she approaches someone and addresses him or her with the phrase "I see you didn't invite me to be a part of..." I would never approach someone whose team I'm hoping to join with a statement like that. It has an undertone of entitlement simply because you may be friends, siblings, or whatever. And if she's wondering there is something wrong between her and Cindy that prompted her not to be invited, it's probably to ask the question more directly such as "Hey Cindy..I see that you've started forming your team and I was hoping to be invited to join. Is there a reason why I didn't get the invite?"

    At that point the ball is in Cindy's court (no pun intended) to respond diplomatically I hope. Just my take.
     
    #62
  13. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Diplomatically?

    "Um . . . yeah. . . . uh-huh. See -- how shall I put this? -- It's kind of important that everyone on the team be competitive at this level. We're not expecting to go to Nationals, but we don't want to wind up in the basement. What's that? 'You can handle this level?' Yeah. I know, I know you can. Of course you can. It's just that . . . wow, um . . . it's important to be consistent and cover the court, so . . . . Pardon? 'You just need stronger partners?' Yes, yes. That's true. That's true of all of us. But the stronger players, they . . . goodness, this is hard . . . they don't like it when their partners can't pull their own weight so . . . 'What do I mean by that?' Erm . . . "

    It's a conversation that never ends well if it ends at all.
     
    #63
  14. NTRPolice

    NTRPolice Semi-Pro

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    I actually broke up with my 7.0 team this year in search of another team. This 7.0 team has an 8.0 team but it only has one 4.5 (guy) which means my options to play are limited. I left the team to find another team which has both a 7.0 and 8.0 team loaded with 4.5's so I can play all around.

    The reason I left this 7.0 team is because its easier to "schedule" if you play for the same team at different levels. It's a nightmare if you play for two different teams at two different levels because they fight over players, especially if both teams are playing a critical match on that same week.

    The one thing I liked about this team the most is that its very "direct". If you join the team its understood that you play when they say. If you're not on the lineup it is what it is.

    At the end of this season they straight up say "If you're not going to play, let us know now." and I love that type of direct communication.

    If they told me I was uninvited this next season it wouldnt have bothered me one bit. The only thing that would **** me off is if they dont tell me to the last min so I turned down other teams, for example.

    If you uninvite someone I dont see what the problem is as long as you let them know early enough so that they can find another team and arnt turning down teams with the expectation that they're still playing for you.
     
    #64
  15. Gemini

    Gemini Hall of Fame

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    Well..let me clarify. Diplomatic and direct.
     
    #65
  16. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    We dropped all the 3.0 chicks with epic spider veins this year. Too many young ones with cleaner, smoother walkers.
     
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