How should friends handle this?

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by Cindysphinx, Jan 6, 2011.

  1. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Interesting.

    What makes you say that?
     
    #51
  2. eliza

    eliza Guest

    Cindy, this is a dilemma only in the US, the rest of the world would tell you: if these are your FRIENDS, then you do everything for them. A ride to the airport is nothing.
     
    #52
  3. Polaris

    Polaris Hall of Fame

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    This, exactly.
     
    #53
  4. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Yeah but the rest of the world does not operate on tight schedules. Everyone in the US is busy.
     
    #54
  5. Bud

    Bud Bionic Poster

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    Any real friend would not charge for this. Just ask her if she'd mind picking you up at the airport. If she can and does then, buy her dinner one night at a decent restaurant :)

    You could also volunteer some gas money since the airport is some distance away.
     
    #55
  6. MegacedU

    MegacedU Professional

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    She should consider it a favor and let it go. Send a thank you and a bottle of wine.
     
    #56
  7. eliza

    eliza Guest

    Gosh you are right, in Italy they stop, take the checkered tablecloth and the Chianti and spent 4 hours for lunch every day... I must have been the only idiot throwing a sandwich at noon and running...........
    Why do you think only the US has tight schedules? Next time I go to Europe I will bring you along, to see how normal people lives are....Not a postcard or stupid movies.........
     
    #57
  8. LameTennisPlayer

    LameTennisPlayer Professional

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    mmmhmmmm


    nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
     
    #58
  9. RD 7

    RD 7 Rookie

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    Cindy,

    Don't say a word. Give them a chance to do the right thing.

    Your job is to stay classy.

    However,

    (listen to me very carefully)

    if these selfish mother f'ers don't do the right thing, than you should take action.

    [​IMG]

    Don't get emotional.

    Just take care of business and move on.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2011
    #59
  10. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    OK, here's the reveal. I am not Amy.

    I'm not Dora either, because Dora is hot. :)

    I'm just one of the three who aren't renting the car. This little dilemma occurred to me because I know Amy. Amy is somewhat cash strapped due to the current economy. I do not mean she is homeless. I mean she feels she needs to pinch pennies to stay on top of the mortgage and kid's college tuition.

    This has led Amy in the past to complain about small expenses. Like, we were at a team practice indoors, so everyone had to pay. We were in the middle of a game when the horn blew. As no one needed the court after us, the players decided to try to finish their game. Amy protested, saying that if the club charged us for the full hour she wasn't going to pay. That sort of thing.

    Anyway, my thought was that Amy might well feel that we should help offset the rental car cost, and I was wondering about a way to head off any potential awkwardness. There are many options -- I could just raise it with the other three and then make an offer to Amy. I'd rather help a friend pay for a rental car than give it to a cabbie. But now you are all suggesting that payment would be inappropriate, which kind of surprised me.

    See, I see this situation as a little different because it is a rental car. It seems obvious to me that if a pal needs a ride to the airport and you own a car, you just drive them to the airport for free. When there is a determined expense for the rental car as well as a defined cap expense, it starts to feel different to me.

    Further complicating matters is that the event we will be attending is a sporting event. There will be no expensive dinners (which would be the ideal way to reciprocate). It's more everyone buying a burger and fries at the stadium for lunch and dinner daily.

    The trip is in a few months. I'll let you know how it goes.
     
    #60
  11. rommil

    rommil Legend

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    You knowing that she is cash strapped then just explain to the other girls the situation, chip in and give it to Amy.
     
    #61
  12. PeterPanda

    PeterPanda Semi-Pro

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    This sounds like the best idea i've heard.
     
    #62
  13. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    It is IW, isn't it?
     
    #63
  14. Love Game

    Love Game Talk Tennis Guru

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    I kinda like a variation of this idea, but it depends on how much of an inconvenience it is for Amy to adjust her schedule, available space in the car, etc., to that of the other three.

    Since the other three were not willing to rent a car for themselves, they shouldnt presume on Amy's generosity. They should ask if it's convenient for her to drive out of her way for them and offer to treat her to a dinner the night before or a brunch the day of departure.

    Maybe they should straight out offer to pay her $60 for the ride in order to test Amy's true feelings on the subject. If she offers to take them for free, they should definitely do the dinner or brunch thing.

    JMO :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2011
    #64
  15. Fee

    Fee Legend

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    If Amy is so strapped for cash, then why is she extending her vacation beyond what the rest of you are doing?

    You said the airport was 16 miles? That's less than a gallon of gas for most decent cars available as rentals. Is she being charged mileage in her rental contract? She's continuing on in the same direction after she drops you off? What's her damage here? The time it takes to veer slightly off course?

    I understand that you want to be sympathetic to your friend's economic situation, but if it's such a sensitive topic, I would avoid it completely and get a shuttle or something.

    Last time I went to IW I took two friends to the airport for nothing (way out of my way and made me one hour late for the matches I wanted to see that day). Friends do that.
     
    #65
  16. jmverdugo

    jmverdugo Hall of Fame

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    Exactly ...

    Cindy, what would you do if you were Amy? and on the other hand what do you want to do? do you want to just pay the cab or ask her to take you and the other frind to the airport?

    I would just make my plans without thinking on Amy's car, then when the time comes if she offers then good, if not then go with the plan, no worries...
     
    #66
  17. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    When will pics of Dora be leaked?
     
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  18. Bertie B

    Bertie B Semi-Pro

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    Amy sounds touchy. I understand you'd rather give money to a friend than a cabbie, but paying friends to do friendship stuff will make things awkward in the future. What if Amy takes your gesture the wrong way.

    Suggestion: Forget about it, and arrange for a cab to take you back to the Airport.
     
    #68
  19. dParis

    dParis Hall of Fame

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    I've been reading parts of this thread but haven't been following too closely. In what post is it revealed that this "Dora" is "hot"? This is where I'd like to pick up the thread again.
     
    #69
  20. Ken Honecker

    Ken Honecker Rookie

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    That would be post #60.
     
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  21. RichT

    RichT New User

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    If the distance is significant (to me significant = more than 45 minutes each way) then I don't think it's unreasonable to expect or ask for something to go towards the gas.

    If a friend of mine offered to give me a lift to the airport I'd offer to pay something towards the cost. Afterall I will make a saving over the potential cost.
     
    #71
  22. RichT

    RichT New User

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    And this... :D

    Having read some more posts.
     
    #72
  23. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    I was at Forest Hills last night and found myself in the bar where the snooty members congregate and gossip while sampling Chef Ramon's tasty taters n' latin love sauce appetizers. While sipping my Jameson and Grape Koolaid and surveying the hotness levels of the ringless wrinkled cougars I overheard some middle aged women talking about rental cars and $15 shuttle rides to the hotel when suddenly a mixed doubles match broke out.

    God damn you mixed doubles.

    I hate you and I will never ever sleep with you again you miserable degrading depressing killer of tennis. Be dammed to hell, cast thyself away from me and all other honorable men of the game of tennis.

    And now I lay hungover in bed at 6am and some Georgio Parliament scented woman named Dora is snoring againt the wall while my dog is sprawled on the floor looking up at me with the "when is she leaving" look in his eyes coupled with tiny puglet tail wiggles.

    God damn you mixed doubles.
     
    #73
  24. dParis

    dParis Hall of Fame

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    I don't know about the rest of you, but I can hardly wait.
     
    #74
  25. LameTennisPlayer

    LameTennisPlayer Professional

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    please refrain from using obscene profanities and blasphemy please!!!!
     
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  26. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Fine!

    [​IMG]
     
    #76
  27. SoBad

    SoBad Legend

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    I don’t understand you at all, because obviously these are serious matters that are very engaging on a personal and emotional level. If anything, there is too little time to debate the issue and too few people involved in developing a fair and sustainable solution, in this particular case. Ideally, we’d like a couple of years’ notice to work on a case of this magnitude in the future.
     
    #77
  28. maleyoyo

    maleyoyo Rookie

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    Internet gossip IS a form of therapy.
     
    #78
  29. LameTennisPlayer

    LameTennisPlayer Professional

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    It's also a form of b*u*l*l*s*h*i*t.....
     
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  30. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

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    Offer whatever you guys feel is correct (doesn't have to be 60$, since she isn't a cab driver) and be gracious if she declines to accept it. If you leave off the "cash strapped" part, then buy her dinner/drinks.
     
    #80
  31. dParis

    dParis Hall of Fame

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    :lol: Nods "yes".
     
    #81
  32. JohnnyCracker

    JohnnyCracker Semi-Pro

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    You are Amy. Why else would those questions in bold be asked? :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2011
    #82
  33. Bobby Jr

    Bobby Jr Legend

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    A good rule for friendships: Don't ever charge friends for things you got for free (like tickets etc) and certainly don't try to make money out of them where you aren't putting yourself out in helping them (as is the scenario discussed here).

    If they offer, make sure you absolutely refuse to accept any money from them for it. Just smile and say "buy me a coffee sometime" and leave it at that.
     
    #83
  34. PimpMyGame

    PimpMyGame Hall of Fame

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    I was going to say something similar to this. Between friends, a favour should not be replied with payment for that favour. It then becomes a business transaction. I would vote for the 3 to chip in and buy Amy dinner, and for the same reason I would be against paying cash over.

    In my book, if you're strapped for cash then you don't go on holiday. I had years of no holidays when I was skint. Now if I spend £3k on a family holiday I don't think I could feel completely at ease with saying I was strapped for cash.
     
    #84
  35. mucat

    mucat Hall of Fame

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    I was wondering this myself. Didn't make sense to go on vacation when you are short on cash. Not the smartest move.
     
    #85
  36. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    Whoops! Who didn't read the whole thread before responding?
     
    #86
  37. JohnnyCracker

    JohnnyCracker Semi-Pro

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    You were contemplating whether you should ask for the money that's why you asked those question. Of course you wouldn't admit that you are Amy b/c that would make you look rather cheap.
     
    #87
  38. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

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    : patient, long-suffering sigh :

    Again, I am not Amy. Read the thread already, will ya?

    If I were Amy, I would be going on and on about my cheap, free-loading friends who were going to stick me with the full cost of a rental car into which they wanted to wedge their oversized behinds.

    Or words to that effect! :)
     
    #88

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