How to beat Nadal: Advice for Roger

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by officerdibble, Jun 10, 2007.

  1. officerdibble

    officerdibble Semi-Pro

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    Well, I thought I'd give him one last chance, but he really is missing some obvious stuff. Here's the top eight things Federer needs to do to beat Nadal.

    1. Get a bigger racquet - go on mate give yourself a chance, it's not a competition to see who can use the smallest racquet head.

    2. Use a string dampener. Don't worry, I know what you're thinking Roger, isn't that going to be expensive? No. Even the best clay court players only buy one, even though this means having to fiddle with it when you change racquets.

    3. Sort out your underwear. With the right pants crawling up your butt cheeks, you can constantly stick your fingers up your bum in a subliminal gesture of contempt to your opponent. One size too small should suffice.

    4. Sort out your underwear. Further to point 3, just think how distracted your opponent is going to be when he knows he has to shake your hand at the end of the match.

    5. Taunt your opponent into hitting long by pretending that it's your job to wipe the baseline clean after every point. The covert "this is where you should be aiming" message will freak out even the best player into over-hitting.

    6. Don't waste time on unnecessary fitness work. Just do arm exercises on your primary racquet-holding hand. I'm fairly sure you're right-handed, so that one.

    7. Don't miss with your forehand so often.

    8. If you get a break point don't panic.

    Normally you would have been paying Tony Roche for this type of advice (although he clearly missed a trick or two), so please just send whatever his cut of the prize fund to me at:
    Top Tennis Tips
    P.O. Box 606060
    England

    P.S. No Euros.
     
    #1
  2. FitzRoy

    FitzRoy Professional

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    Not bad. I'm sure you'll see the money rolling in pretty soon. ;)
     
    #2
  3. War Safin!

    War Safin! Professional

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    Or...
    1. Don't attempt it on clay.
     
    #3
  4. FitzRoy

    FitzRoy Professional

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    Well, he's beaten him on clay now, so that isn't quite true. So far no one has in Best-of-five, so maybe you should modify that.
     
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  5. War Safin!

    War Safin! Professional

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    Please....please don't say you're one of the 'Hamburg Theorists' are you?
    You are, aren't you?
     
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  6. Simon Cowell

    Simon Cowell Rookie

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    He (Fed) needs to give up on clay and stop giving hope to his fans that he'll actually win at R.G. someday. .::Laughs::.
     
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  7. jivesamba

    jivesamba New User

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    Brilliant!

    Seriously though... I was about to start a new thread here debating on whether people thought that Fed would perhaps benefit from a 95in. or 98in. headsize racquet? He certainly mis-hits more balls than anyone else and not just on clay either. I counted one mis-hit by Rafa in the FO final and his grip and swing are far more extreme than Roger's (and therefore should, in theory, produce more mis-hits). Maybe he could give the K Factor KSix-One 95 a try if he hasn't already? Of course, Wilson would make him whatever he wanted. Your thoughts?
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2007
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  8. jivesamba

    jivesamba New User

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    ... and as far as Roger giving up on clay... Never! Rafa could always roll an ankle or something in the quarters or semis! Or maybe Mirka could secretly hire Tonya Harding to do a little "hospital job" on the bull? ;)
     
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  9. helloworld

    helloworld Hall of Fame

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    Nadal is too good on clay, Fed knows it and Nadal knows it, but he'll get one pity French Open from Nadal. Nadal is a good hearted man and he'll let Federer have one so that Fed can claim his GOAT thing
     
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  10. jmsx521

    jmsx521 Hall of Fame

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    Get advice from Monica Seles.... Take the ball on the rise as early as possible and don't back too much behind the baseline.
     
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  11. The Victor

    The Victor Rookie

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    That was funny, good stuff :D

    I also like the Tonya Harding idea, it could do the trick :)
     
    #11
  12. Gundam

    Gundam Semi-Pro

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    I think it's time for Mirka to act.
    For example, she can pretend as if she is leaving Roger (For the maximum effect, for Rafa) or she should threaten to leave after 2008 FO.
     
    #12
  13. Tennis_Monk

    Tennis_Monk Hall of Fame

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    Instead of that she can try going after Nadal. That should do the trick. Either Nadal will be Out of contention OR federer will be so mad , that he will do something abt it.

    ( I know Mirka is a nice person and this post is not an attemp to disrespect her. )
     
    #13
  14. tennis_hand

    tennis_hand Hall of Fame

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    maybe u should post this before the next clay season.
     
    #14
  15. jivesamba

    jivesamba New User

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    Here's a new twist- Perhaps Roger and Mirka have secretly agreed to get married when he wins the French and he's got cold feet!?
     
    #15
  16. VikingSamurai

    VikingSamurai Banned

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    Simple:

    Mix it up a little..

    And make that biatch ruuuunnnn! :))
     
    #16
  17. JZImmer123

    JZImmer123 Rookie

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    Pull a Tonya Harding on Rafa!
     
    #17
  18. FREDDY

    FREDDY Semi-Pro

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    ATTACK!!! don't give nadal the chance to slow things down. harder, flatter shots.
     
    #18
  19. Nadal_Freak

    Nadal_Freak Banned

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    Hope for Nadal to have a bad day. Once Nadal's game clicks in (3rd and 4th) it almost impossible to stop him. He makes like 4 unforced errors set which is incredible. Federer did a good job to hang in, despite Nadal stealing the first set. Federer stole the second but after that Nadal was on a role. Cool and overcast would help Federer a lot since he definitely looked tired at the end of that match along with the bounce being lower.
     
    #19
  20. Nextman916

    Nextman916 Professional

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    Federer lost plain and simple, he was pressure to have to hit everything deep or we would get killed. Nadal simply jumped on any short ball. Fed starts to hit through, trying to pull out those amazing winners he can do against most others. With the ball kicker higher than normal, pressure building in his head, and very hard timing and bounce. He begins foolishly running around forehands and producing a less than par shot very often. Finally he starts to regroup but with too much safety that even his approach shots start to land around the service line.
     
    #20
  21. caulcano

    caulcano Hall of Fame

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    9. Get really friendly with the organisers of the French Open, so you can convince them to change the clay so it's more like Hamburg. Better still if you can convince them to change to the surface to grass. :D :D
     
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  22. tennisadd1ct

    tennisadd1ct Rookie

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    and seriously roger, i know tiger woods is watching you play(tv),but, no time to show off all right?


    JUST WIN THE FRENCH OPEN AND STOP SCRATCHING YOU GLUDIOS MAXIMAS (BUTT)
     
    #22
  23. jmsx521

    jmsx521 Hall of Fame

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    .... And make sure the k90 you used gets discarded, so there's no DNA evidence left on the frame.
     
    #23
  24. Gundam

    Gundam Semi-Pro

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    Errr, maybe it's Gluteus Maximus :grin:

    Well, I think she is too good, too HOT for Roger. Should spend less time with her, save energy, and practice more.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2007
    #24
  25. ledor

    ledor Professional

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    See someone else beat Rafa....or hope he gets injured.

    Result: Roger to see more titles in your collection.
     
    #25
  26. Taram_Nifas

    Taram_Nifas Rookie

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    Forget Tonya Harding, when Hamburg comes around next year just give ole G√ľnter Parche a call, he seems like the kind of person who would be a Fed FanBoy. ;)
     
    #26
  27. Forza Milan

    Forza Milan New User

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    On clay...I think Federer needs to work more on his dropshots and use it more often....Nadal likes to stay well behind the baseline sprinting left and right where he's at his best, but if you get him off his comfort zone and get him off balance a little bit to respect dropshots, then it's going to be a bit awkward for him...and that's exactly what you want.
     
    #27
  28. caulcano

    caulcano Hall of Fame

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    Yep. Plus it should may he more tired faster!
     
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