how to defeat envy....

Discussion in 'Adult League & Tournament Talk' started by monkeyisland90, Nov 30, 2009.

  1. monkeyisland90

    monkeyisland90 Rookie

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    226
    Ok, I can disguise it, act like envy isn't a factor but deep inside i know it is a factor and i want ways to combat this painful awareness of someone being better then you.. syndrome.... When i play my a tennis buddy i usually don't care much about win or loss because we know it's just a game and any given day one or other will come on top. And also we are having fun and that takes lot of pressure off (well sometimes at least).. But there's times where you know you can beat someone that you rarely play but the tables get turned and you are the defeated foe. How can i get over this pain? I know one quote that sort of helped me "there is always someone better then you" (in all areas of life).. but if theres more then losing is not that bad.... but my subconscious mind always has stuff like this hidden...and brings it forth light ... how can i zap that away? ..probally a shrink..lol


    I know the bible says "envy is driving force of sucess" and i do believe that to be true as im wondering myself why i keep playing this day in and day out... probally cause of envy :)
     
    #1
  2. MomentumGT

    MomentumGT Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2007
    Messages:
    637
    Location:
    Riverside/Stockton CA
    Use it to better your tennis game. Eventually those who you are envious of prior won't be able to beat you anymore. Use that as a marker for your progression to a higher level of playing.

    That or you can continue to give the stink eye to everyone on the courts that you are envious of. Eventually you'll be found out and be labeled a "hater". LOL.

    -Jon
     
    #2
  3. Mick

    Mick Legend

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2006
    Messages:
    8,363
    imo, the game of tennis is very fair. the person who practices the most usually would become more successful.
     
    #3
  4. LuckyR

    LuckyR Legend

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    6,404
    Location:
    The Great NW

    Maybe it's me, but I don't understand if you are asking how to rid yourself of an unhelpful attitude or how this attitude contributes negatively to your post match experience.
     
    #4
  5. Oldracquet27

    Oldracquet27 Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2006
    Messages:
    189
    I don't see why???

    Are you sure you feel the "envy" just for the tennis game of that person? It is not anything else, looks, status, personality? I have never heard anybody feeling that way.

    As somebody said the one who practice more or play more will have a better game. You just need to do the same and become better to beat that oponent. You think you will never can get there? I don't think you are that bad of an athlete, or .... maybe yes????? Still , if you feel that your ability is not enough don't feel bad and just enjoy the match, or if you ego is that big that you hate been average forever, switch sports to something easier...
     
    #5
  6. Annika

    Annika Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2009
    Messages:
    566
    Envy is a character defect which you need to get rid of. It's a waste of energy. It can cause resentment. You can become isolated. So shape up!
     
    #6
  7. Cindysphinx

    Cindysphinx G.O.A.T.

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2006
    Messages:
    15,070
    Why would anyone envy a recreational tennis player?

    I mean, if you are going to be envious, be envious of Nadal. $25 millions in winnings and many times that it endorsements before the age of 25? Dang.
     
    #7
  8. BMC9670

    BMC9670 Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,013
    Envy is a product of trying to control what is beyond your control. Take control and improve YOUR game. You can't control what other people do or have.
     
    #8
  9. Sup2Dresq

    Sup2Dresq Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    2,032
    Location:
    South Florida
    Regarding losing and the envy that follows.

    I enjoy this movie quote which coincidentally was said on a tennis court. It really hits home about how one acts on a loss and how to look at the "whole picture".

    You'll come to see that a man learns nothing from winning. The act of losing, however, can elicit great wisdom. Not least of which is, uh... how much more enjoyable it is to win. It's inevitable to lose now and again. The trick is not to make a habit of it.
     
    #9
  10. BMC9670

    BMC9670 Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,013
    ... or try this movie quote: "If you're not first, your last." - Ricky Bobby.:)
     
    #10
  11. BMC9670

    BMC9670 Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,013
    ... and my favorite of all time: "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes... it rains." - Crash Davis, Bull Durham.

    (I use this one when my son is upset by losing)
     
    #11
  12. Bad Dog

    Bad Dog Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    691
    Disciples of Sup2Dresq should recognize that this used to be his signature. :)
     
    #12

Share This Page