How to fix tennis

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by guynamedsean, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. guynamedsean

    guynamedsean Rookie

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    I hear alot of talk about slower courts, haevier balls, and more powerful/lightweight racquets runing the game.

    Here is an idea:

    Make natural gut the only legal string in pro play. This would get rid of poly. Nobody would really want to use a light, powerful raquet with gut because they wouldn't be able to keep the ball in play.

    I think this would be simpler than trying to regulate the rackets or anything else.
     
    #1
  2. Swingin Richard

    Swingin Richard Rookie

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    What would the vegetarians do?
     
    #2
  3. kingdaddy41788

    kingdaddy41788 Hall of Fame

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    Ummm... what makes you say that?
     
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  4. The Gorilla

    The Gorilla Banned

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    nylon ?
     
    #4
  5. diggler

    diggler Professional

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    Fixing tennis depends on what you define as the problem. As far as I can tell, TV audiences, attendances and sponsorship is healthy. What is there to fix except the ******* child that is doubles? It sucks up maybe a quarter of the prizemoney but is never on TV, probably doesn't sell any tickets.
     
    #5
  6. jmsx521

    jmsx521 Hall of Fame

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    They/I would complain.
     
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  7. serve/and/volley

    serve/and/volley Rookie

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    Here's how to fix tennis:

    You get a couple of fly honeys prancing around on the tennis court, who cares what string they're using unless they're g-strings. Then you get some fly honeys commentating on the telly, talking nonsense, who cares what the hell they're talking about! Have them mention tennis from time to time. That's how to fix tennis. People will watch that!
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2007
    #7
  8. serve/and/volley

    serve/and/volley Rookie

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    If however you object to my previous idea, then how about my idea about using gut that will satisfy the vegetarians. Check it:

    Like the Aztecs who played a version of soccer/basketball where the losers are sacrificed, similarly, the losers in tennis matches would be sacrificed as well. On top of that, their entrails (after the proper preparation methods) would be used as the "gut" strings on the victor's racquet. See, no animals are hurt!

    If however you consider people to be animals as well, well ... the only other alternative is my first idea: FLY HONEYS!
     
    #8
  9. guynamedsean

    guynamedsean Rookie

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    ok. You convinced me. Keep the polyester strings. Get fly honeys!
     
    #9
  10. Swingin Richard

    Swingin Richard Rookie

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    Wow. Does that mean Nadal's racket would be strung with Fed's intestines right now?
     
    #10
  11. Alafter

    Alafter Hall of Fame

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    Laugh, brilliant.
     
    #11
  12. Alafter

    Alafter Hall of Fame

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    With Aztec tennis, there can be only one. SofFor every tournament on TV, you will see a new theme song playing before they show the matches:

    Here we are, born to be kings,
    We're the princes of the universe.

    Here we belong, fighting to survive
    In a world with the darkest powers.

    And here we are, we're the princes of the universe
    Here we belong, fighting for survival
    We've come to be the rulers of your world.

    I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings.
    I have no rival, no man can be my equal
    Take me to the future of your world.
     
    #12
  13. Punisha

    Punisha Professional

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    no one would play as it costs to much
     
    #13
  14. Andres

    Andres G.O.A.T.

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    What would Brian Boitano do?
     
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  15. Andres

    Andres G.O.A.T.

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    I looooooooooooove that soooooooooooooooooooong !!!! :D :D :D
     
    #15
  16. jamumafa

    jamumafa Semi-Pro

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    ^^

    String up at 91, that's what Brian Boitano'd do. Oh wait, sorry that's Chuck Norris
     
    #16
  17. larlarbd

    larlarbd Banned

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    ahaha , Fly Honeys I'll keep , Fed's gut on Nadal's racquet - I'll keep & ohh , yes - WE HAVE TO Bring back KOURNIKOVA to tennis ( preferrably in MEN's Tennis as a one-nighter after the Final for the Champ - that'll keep them inspired as well as the spectators ).
     
    #17
  18. katarddx

    katarddx Semi-Pro

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    you are fffaaaaaaaarrrrrr from the truth! the rating are at the lowest and less people are watching tennis tha ever. do the research.
     
    #18
  19. Andres

    Andres G.O.A.T.

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    YOU do the research. You're just talking about the States.
    Do you know the concept of 'rest of the world' ?

    Tennis ratings around the world are healthy. Just like diggler said.
     
    #19
  20. Taram_Nifas

    Taram_Nifas Rookie

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    1) Fine any male tennis players who pose nude on girly women's magazines.
     
    #20
  21. Forza Milan

    Forza Milan New User

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    How about during the year end Masters Cup, the host puts up hard, clay, grass, carpet, and players pull out a paper to see what surface they have to play at....keeps the players guessing...keeps the fans going....I think that would be cool...
     
    #21
  22. skraggle

    skraggle Professional

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    Have you see Anna lately? She's anorexic, and is FAR from sexy. I saw her play a WTT match and it looked like her legs would snap every time she ran. Yuck.
     
    #22
  23. guynamedsean

    guynamedsean Rookie

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    This is some funny stuff.

    For those who say that there is nothing wrong with tennis: When serve and volley is no longer a viable strategy at Wimbledon and on hardcourts, then there is something wrong.

    The reason I think making gut mandatory is the way to go is:

    It is too dificult to regulate racquets because even if you specify beam thickness, headsize, etc it wont help. All racquets are basicly 85-110 square inches. The pros mostly use 90-110. Most pros use 22mm thickness or below. Again, nothing to change here. Mandating that racquets are flexy wont help because a heavy, flexy racquet can hit a heavy, spinny ball - especially with poly. The racquets that are being used do not vary that much when you look at the specs. Graphite racquets did not ruin the game in the 90s either. There was some very high quality, varied tennis played in the 90s with grahite racquets, natural gut, nylon synthetics, and even a little kevlar.

    You can't just ban poly, even though this is the problem. It is too weird to say nylon is ok but poly isnt. You have to ban all sythetics all together. The only strings that you can allow are natural gut that is manufactured by a USTA approved for pro play, gut string company.

    Any thoughts? Leave it alone? Make the court slightly smaller? What do you think?
     
    #23

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