An alternative route that might yield better results... 1) withdraw a large stack of cash. 2) go to the store and buy some envelopes 3) sign up for a bunch of tournaments in third world countries. 4) look for the one that has the smallest qualifying draw. 5) contact the tournament director. set up a meeting with the tournament director. bring an envelope with a wad of cash in it. let the TD know it sure would be nice to be able to get into the main draw on a wild card or at least a wild card into the qualifying. set up a meeting with him. do not forget your envelope with cash. if you accidentally leave it behind it might be misconstrued as a bribe. 6) if you get into the qualifying, print out the draw and bring the printout to the match. put the envelope on the draw sheet. do not forget your envelope with cash. if you accidentally leave it behind it might be misconstrued as a bribe. 7) repeat step 6 until you get into the main draw. 8 ) for the first round match in the main draw. bring your draw printout and envelope with cash. mount a video camera with a gorilla pod and record the match. post on youtube. login to your TW account and post the link and write a short thank you to onehandbh. 9) make a business card that says "professional tennis player" and get ready to fend off the TW groupies that will be following you.* * most will be 15-55 year old males.