How to get a date in college

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by Claudius, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. Claudius

    Claudius Professional

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    Okay...I admit. I've never had gf. I've never kissed a girl before. I had plenty of female acquaintances, but they were all just platonic friends.

    How do you suppose I get into a serious relationship in college?

    My type of girl:

    -Intelligent, somewhat geeky
    -not too b!tchy
    -not overly talkative
    -moderately attractive, but not jaw dropping
    -just a down-to-earth person

    Any help is appreciated.
     
    #1
  2. Chezbeeno

    Chezbeeno Semi-Pro

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    I think if you're asking for advice on how to get into a serious relationship there's a decent chance you may not be ready for one. Admittedly I'm not any kind of an expert on relationships so you can choose whether or not to listen to me.
     
    #2
  3. r2473

    r2473 Legend

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    Doesn't exist.

    You'd have better luck dating a unicorn.
     
    #3
  4. dave333

    dave333 Hall of Fame

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    College is the time for wild hook ups, let's enjoy!
     
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  5. GRANITECHIEF

    GRANITECHIEF Hall of Fame

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    ^^ I just spit out my coffee, that was freakin funny.

    The answer to the question is that you don't wan't to have a serious relationship in college, you want to have lots of "dates".
     
    #5
  6. CHOcobo

    CHOcobo Professional

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    the hotter she is the crazy and b!tchier she it. it's 2010. they're all the same now. you have to go for the lonely ones. they don't flip out as much. plus u don't want her to be that attractive. physical appearance doesn't really matter anymore once you get to know her.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2010
    #6
  7. Claudius

    Claudius Professional

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    Sounds good!
     
    #7
  8. new_tennis_player

    new_tennis_player Banned

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    Get a massage.
     
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  9. Fifth Set

    Fifth Set Professional

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    A couple of important questions that will help us help you.

    Regarding these platonic friendships, did you want any of them to develop further?

    Are you looking for just a couple dates here and there with different girls or one serious long term relationship?
     
    #9
  10. Falloutjr

    Falloutjr Banned

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    The fact of the matter is, it's not hard to get dates. Any single girl that at least thinks decently of you would say yes. Just talk to a lot of girls and when you meet someone you like, ask em if they'd like to meet you somewhere on campus sometime. I assume you go to the University of Virginia, which is a pretty big school. You shouldn't have any problems.

    Don't even be afraid of rejection. Just assume every girl you meet is single (unless they're with a guy, that's a no-no :p). This is my classic routine when introducing myself to a girl for the first time.

    - Find a non-creepy, witty way to approach her. The thing for guys is, the better looking you are, the better off you are here. I won't beat around the bush and say it's not. The better looking you are, the less creepy your come-on will be interpreted. If you do something borderline creepy, they will give you the benefit of the doubt. If you're not, well then, they'll probably tell you to go away.

    Don't just come up and introduce yourself, say something interesting to break the ice. Like say "Hey that's a cool shirt, I like that design" or something. Most times, even *****y girls will be courteous and say thank you, but you're looking for something to build a conversation on, so if she says anything more than "Thank you", you're pretty much in. If she doesn't say anything more than thank you, then you've got a bit more work on your hands. You'll have to find something to build on your toes and by yourself. If she is a total ***** she'll probably say something like "OK" and this is your queue that you don't want anything to do with her anyways.

    Because you're in college, she will probably ask you if she's met you before, so introducing yourself and giving her your name won't be awkward. A few minutes into the conversation, she'll probably ask if she knows you and you would say "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. My name's (insert your name)." and offer her a friendly handshake. Your handshake should be firm, just a touch less than it would be with a man. You don't want her to be a pushover, but she is a woman, and you don't want to hurt her hand, that's a bad impression either way. After that, you're gonna wanna throw in a compliment. If you're REALLY feeling confident about how things are going, you can compliment her about part of her body (her eyes or her hair are the attributes I would go for). If you're not sure how she feels about the situation yet, you should probably compliment her on something she's wearing (shoes or hairpiece, if she's wearing one, would be good option). Make a joke or two and try to make her laugh and make being around you enjoyable for her, this will make her wanna meet up with you again. Keep things going smooth until she has to go. If things went well, you CAN ask her to meet up sometime (don't ask her to go out, girls prefer to hear "meet up sometime", saying "go out" as soon as you meet a girl can make you look desperate), but, because it's college, and you'll see them again, I wouldn't recommend it unless things went really well and you definitely caught on that she was interested. I'd recommend that the next time you see her, talk to her again, and then this would be a good opportunity to ask her to meet up sometime. If you think you're good-looking and charming enough to pull it off, you can go with a more aggressive approach and compliment a physical feature of hers and ask her to meet up the first time you talk to her, but that is riskier than doing it the second time around. Another thing is, don't be afraid to do this with a lot of girls. It seems wrong at first, but what you'll realize is that no one has made any serious commitments at this point, and it's always in your best interest to keep your options open if you're not in a relationship with someone. Guys do it AND girls do it, and if you don't, more times than not, you'll get burned. So keep that in mind.

    Another thing you're probably wondering. Do girls like *******s? Yes. A lot of people misunderstand what that means. *******s come off as confident. Girls think confidence is very, very attractive. The perception that "nice guys" don't get the girl has been misconstrued. "Nice guys" are usually guys that lack self-esteem and can be pushed around. A girl has to REALLY like you a lot BEFORE she dates you before she dates a pushover (i.e. she comes up to you), and then, it's still hard to keep her around. Don't be a pushover. In whatever you do, be kind, but stern. Don't slouch when you walk, don't stutter when you talk, and just be sure of yourself and your abilities. How you feel about yourself shows, whether or not you know it. I know, it's college, lots of kids roll out of bed and shower every other day and just put on deodorant, wear hats instead of combing and styling their hair, dress like slouches. Don't be one of those guys. If you have a style that fits your look, dress the part, and make your best effort to look your best. That will get you brownie points with any girl.

    Well, those are just the basics off the top of my head, if you need any more advice, feel free to drop me a line or just ask, I'd be more than happy to help you. Good luck and godspeed :)
     
    #10
  11. Claudius

    Claudius Professional

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    Thanks for that lengthy post...I'll follow your advice.
     
    #11
  12. SuperFly

    SuperFly Semi-Pro

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    You, sir, have just opened Pandora's box. Tina will be here in 3... 2...
     
    #12
  13. T1000

    T1000 Hall of Fame

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    I suggest you listen to the beginning of
    Pimpin all over the world by ludacris
     
    #13
  14. Falloutjr

    Falloutjr Banned

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    It's okay, you and I can take her 8) no prisoners!
    [​IMG]
     
    #14
  15. VGP

    VGP Legend

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    Hey, did you get all that from watching VH1's 'The Pickup Artist' and "The Pickup Artist 2?'
     
    #15
  16. Falloutjr

    Falloutjr Banned

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    I don't watch VH1, so can't say I did. That's all stuff I've learned from personal experience, though really, a lot of that is just common sense.
     
    #16
  17. 10s talk

    10s talk Semi-Pro

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    sign up for a tennis class
     
    #17
  18. Tina

    Tina Banned

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    LOL, I fit into all description. I was no longer a college student.

     
    #18
  19. spacediver

    spacediver Hall of Fame

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    just learn to relax and be yourself around women.
     
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  20. Tina

    Tina Banned

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    Honestly, I was very picky to date guys in college. I only dated one guy for 3 years ^_^. I don't go for one night stay. We were friends for a year before a serious date. He sent me flower for two months each Saturday before I said "Yes". We nearly went for engagement right after college. In the meantime, I am looking for my Mr. Smith to get married ^_^.
     
    #20
  21. Falloutjr

    Falloutjr Banned

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    Tina, this isn't your thread. L2blog. Thank you :)
     
    #21
  22. Tina

    Tina Banned

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    Sorry. I just gave a fair advice from a woman like me:)

    ---------
    My type of girl:

    -Intelligent, somewhat geeky
    -not too b!tchy
    -not overly talkative
    -moderately attractive, but not jaw dropping
    -just a down-to-earth person
     
    #22
  23. ReopeningWed

    ReopeningWed Semi-Pro

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    Forget your batting average, you want solid numbers. The guy who gets rejected 1 in 100 times in a night still ends up with a win. Good luck :)
     
    #23
  24. atatu

    atatu Hall of Fame

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    Best post...ever.
     
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  25. new_tennis_player

    new_tennis_player Banned

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    1. Get a job.

    2. Watch p0rn instead.
     
    #25
  26. westside

    westside Hall of Fame

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    #26
  27. mucat

    mucat Hall of Fame

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    Looks like what you need is a computer. If you want something down to earth, AMD makes great budget ones.
     
    #27
  28. bezs

    bezs Legend

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    :lol:

    10char
     
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  29. mtommer

    mtommer Hall of Fame

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    You're not going to find this...

    until you get into one of these...

    Claudius, the fact of the matter is that the qualities you list take time to become known by another person. This doesn't really matter whether you're a guy or girl. People simply aren't that open to strangers for the most part. As such, the qualities you list become known by actually knowing someone. Coming to know someone takes time.

    Stop analyzing the women you meet. Stop looking at what's in front of you and believing it to be accurate, it seldom is. Many of the "*itches" you think you see would meet your description with time. Those things you like represent vulnerabilities in people. Letting vulnerabilities show through means the person trusts, respects and likes you. Answer me this Claudius, is a woman just supposed to accept how you present yourself just because you present yourself how you do? How is she supposed to know you're not playing games or just looking for a quick hook-up etc? How are you supposed to know the girl you like isn't falsely presenting herself to you?

    You aren't the first person to write a post as you did and you won't be the last. Often the next question that comes is one born of frustration: "Why can't women (or men) just be honest and act how they really want to?" The answer to that is:

    1. Emotional survival. If you don't give to much of yourself before you're sure of the other person, if they hurt you, you don't lose too much and it's easier to take/deal with.

    2. Most people really do care what their peers think of them. It takes courage and strength to be who you are as opposed to how you think people want you to be.

    Couple one and two with young and inexperienced human beings and you get "*itches" and *ssholes*. I've got news for you, everybody ends up being one of these to some other person at times no matter how much they think they aren't being such.

    So in short, you need to be dating simply to have fun and enjoy life/other people. Whatever happens, happens.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2010
    #29
  30. ayuname

    ayuname Semi-Pro

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    1. college party
    2. meet girl
    3. ???
    4. profit
     
    #30
  31. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    Fedace is an expert in such matters
     
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  32. Tina

    Tina Banned

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    Of course. Dr. Fedace is an expert in all matters here at TTW:)
     
    #32
  33. LanEvo

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    And/So how did that end?
     
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  34. aceX

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    The first thing to do is talk to everyone (even guys, they might lead you to important social gathering).

    Where to start? Well random people on the street isn't so good. Start with people in your classes. Then join a lot of clubs and attend their events and talk to people there.

    If you're nervous about talking to someone, just think "what's the worst that will happen if I start talking to this person?" usually the worst thing that could possibly happen would be that they would say "eww get away from me stalker" or something like that. But in the end, no-one is likely to say that even if they think that initially and even if they do say that, it's not the end of the world.

    Yeah so basically just talk to people
     
    #34
  35. Tina

    Tina Banned

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    A night before visiting his parents for permission of our engagement. We had a little disagreement about our careers. He wanted to follow his friends to establish the business in Middle East whereas I wanted him to stay with me in the same city. It was about me:oops:. I didn't get the chance to meet his parents though. A year after we were apart from each other, his best friend contacted me for reunion. I decided to let go of it.

    He is my first love. We grew up in two different countries.
     
    #35
  36. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    another r2473 base hit...

    you so 'horny'
     
    #36
  37. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    another r2473 base hit...

    you so 'horny'

    OP: "I've never kissed a girl before?"

    Summer school...0r repeat high skzool altogether..
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2010
    #37
  38. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    ,,,,,,,double post, sorry....
     
    #38
  39. Z-Man

    Z-Man Professional

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    Dude! You go to UVa? Ahh, what would I give to be 18 and back in C'Ville. Just go down to Coup's and lower your standards. It helps to have some booze at home so you can lure a chick back for "one more drink". If you want to take the slow road, get involved in some activities where you'll meet some girls. Don't be afraid to get shot down. My wife (who grew up close to your hometown) rejected me the first few times I tried to ask her out. Once you get that first one out of the way, it will get a lot easier. Don't waste any time because you'll never have this much access to so many beautiful and intelligent women again (assuming you are at UVa).
     
    #39
  40. jamesblakefan#1

    jamesblakefan#1 G.O.A.T.

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    I'm having the same problem as the OP. 2+ years into college and I just can't seem to break the seal. I tend to get stuck in the friend zone with girls, a lot. I think it's because I'm not aggressive enough in my approach. I approach as a friend instead of putting out there what I'm really angling for. I've read the advice, over and over. It's a lot harder than it seems to follow it though. I've never been a natural with women, I think I've improved but I still need to do some things better when it comes to approaching them.

    My biggest issue is my fear of rejection and embarrassment. Even when I was younger I never asked girls out, my rejection fear was that great and in some ways still is. The only GF I had asked ME out, and even that was after we'd been friends for about a year or so. Another problem is that while I'm a laid back kind of guy, I hang around friends who are all out in their approach to women, and that only highlights my lack of assertiveness. It's not as easy as it seems on paper, and I'm really having trouble getting over the confidence threshold and just going for it on a continual basis. I've read the advice, listened to my friends' advice, but it's a lot easier said than done.

    I know I've blown opportunities by not being aggressive and assertive enough, I just don't have the confidence to change it.
     
    #40
  41. quest01

    quest01 Hall of Fame

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    Wait until after college and just have one night stands until then.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2010
    #41
  42. RealityPolice

    RealityPolice Rookie

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    At the risk of saying "this," this. Especially if it develops into something. Putting on airs just means that you'll have to be phony throughout the relationship, or she'll wonder why you've "changed."

    Also, don't expect to get laid. Expecting it makes one pushy.
     
    #42
  43. RealityPolice

    RealityPolice Rookie

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    A lot of women will just want to be friends, for whatever reason. But you'd be surprised at how many will take it further.

    Finding someone with common interests is a huge step forward. I'm a huge geek, a hippie, and often mistaken for something lower on the evolutionary scale (Australopithecus seems to be about right). First week of college, I went to an astronomy club meeting (geeky, yes), bumped into a cute girl carrying a violin, and exchanged both insults and Monty Python references. So: astronomy, music, humor--all commonalities.

    We've been married for fifteen years.
     
    #43
  44. Telepatic

    Telepatic Legend

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    Yes, I find it as a problem too though, I noticed you can easily attract some hot girls with having some muscles and flirt abilities as my bro does but those girls are usually...well, you know..picky and sometimes easy if you look good..

    So my point is, be yourself, try to make yourself look fine and if you are trying to get into some serious relationship then better go for smart ones, they are usually more honest too for some reason.
     
    #44
  45. Fedace

    Fedace Banned

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    FASTEST and Easiest way is to Join a Fraternity. but for some people this is not a attractive option.
     
    #45
  46. aphex

    aphex Banned

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    the answer to all your problems:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDzjm97zWRs
     
    #46
  47. jamesblakefan#1

    jamesblakefan#1 G.O.A.T.

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    Went this route my freshman year. Decided it was not for me. Several of my friends are in frats though, and they have changed significantly. To me the 'frat duche' stereotype is true. I didn't want to become that kind of person.
     
    #47
  48. Fedace

    Fedace Banned

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    Don't be silly. YOu don't have to become a duche. You can be your own person. Just occasionally pretend to be a duchebag just to fool those that are Truly duchebags. but you will get about 5X more women that you would on your own so i think it was worth it......................lol:)
     
    #48
  49. tennis_lover_x

    tennis_lover_x Banned

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    Join some clubs or take classes that you enjoy which will have girls which fit your "type."

    How active are you right now in pursuing this goal?
     
    #49
  50. Power Player

    Power Player Talk Tennis Guru

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    For those of you w/out confidence, practice making eye contact at all times. It is hard at first and you probably do not do it. Just look at everyone you walk by in the eyes, but don't freak them out. By doing this, you will be able to read who has confidence and who is shy just from this small activity.

    This should help you gain a little bit of an edge. The next thing to do is make sure you maintain that eye contact when you are talking to a girl.

    The final thing is to make sure that you talk 30% or less when you talk to a girl. If you talk too much you run the risk of bragging or saying something stupid. Ask her questions about herself and listen. The answers will provide you with more questions to ask her.

    If need be, ask out a girl who is not super out of your league and someone you are pretty sure you can get a Yes from. Ask her to grab some coffee and keep it friendly. Then work on your eye contact and casual questioning. If you are in college and its been 2 years without any girls, you need to lower your standards a bit and practice before you can expect to calm your nerves enough for a hottie.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2010
    #50

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