How to say 'No' to a hitting partner that you surpassed in terms of playing ability?

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by TENNIS_IS_FUN, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. TENNIS_IS_FUN

    TENNIS_IS_FUN Professional

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    So how do you tell your friend you don't want to hit with him because it's boring and you'd kill him every set? He was my doubles partner during my HS years...he always asks me to 'hit' and i have to make up an excuse. So how do you tell your friend you don't want to hit with him? I want to play against better people.
     
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  2. mtommer

    mtommer Hall of Fame

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    First, if there is no one else to play with, play with him. Work on getting better at specific shots. If you do have other people to hit with, just say you can't because you're hitting with x person. If you still don't want to hit with him, you're just going to have to say no and realize how it will come off to him. If you can live with that, tell him. If you can't, keep playing with him.
     
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  3. dannyjjang

    dannyjjang Semi-Pro

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    how about helping your friend to become a better player?
     
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  4. Breaker

    Breaker Legend

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    Work on your weaknesses against him.
     
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  5. SVP

    SVP Rookie

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    You'd better accomodate him, my friend. Hit with him, work on your shots with him. Don't diss him, because karma is a b****, son.
     
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  6. 35ft6

    35ft6 Legend

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    This is always hard. I hit with a guy who said he played national tournaments and he was super inconsistent. He seemed to not notice this. Very nice guy. I didn't respond to a couple of texts, thought he might get the message, but he kept sending them. Eventually he stopped. I could have just told him I suppose but he's one of those dudes who fancies himself a "serious" player, has a lot of ego attached, plus there's just no cool way of telling somebody. It's almost like there's no nice way to tell a girl she's not hot enough.
     
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  7. NickC

    NickC Professional

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    So does he. You ever thought of that? You think players that could kill you 6-0 6-0 want to play against you as much as you want to play against them?
     
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  8. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

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    Why don't you just do hitting drills instead of match play?
     
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  9. VGP

    VGP Legend

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    If he says he wants to "hit" then do just that. He can be a practice partner.

    If competition is boring and you kill him every time, if what you say is true I'm sure he knows it. If you play him and want to compete, then why not spot him some games. Start a set with him 4-0 or 5-0 up and see if you can still win it.
     
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  10. film1

    film1 Semi-Pro

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    Tell him you think you should start seeing other people or just tell him you are going out with the girls and go hit somewhere else.
     
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  11. ronalditop

    ronalditop Hall of Fame

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    Dont be a bad friend, play with him once in a while.
     
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  12. 35ft6

    35ft6 Legend

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    I would want to play somebody like that once in a great while just to see where I'm at. But not every day. I used to hit with a guy who was way too intense. He would try to crush every ball. Based on set scores, we may have been equal in terms of being tennis players, but he was a wayyyyy better ball striker, and he only played at one speed, and after a while I hated hitting with him.

    Generally, when people hit with people who can bagel them, they want the better guy to tone it down so they're hitting against a human ball machine. They want somebody to who is good enough to dial down their game to the point they're imitating somebody slightly better than the lesser player. Most people don't really want to hit with somebody who can crush them at will on a daily basis. And the ones that do are almost always delusional and want to hit with the person who can double bagel them playing at 50% because they think they're just as good or will be in a few months if they can just keep hitting with these guys. But need to "get back into it." Or have been held back by crappy partners (who are the same level as them). They were having a bad day, like they just got back from the gym, didn't eat, is drowsy, hungover, etc.
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2009
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  13. Golden Retriever

    Golden Retriever Hall of Fame

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    If he is a friend then why not play once in a while? Just hit everything back to him, shouldn't be that bad.

    If it is that bad, invite a couple of girls and play mixed double.
     
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  14. VGP

    VGP Legend

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    GR, now you're talkin'.
     
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  15. maverick66

    maverick66 Hall of Fame

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    work on your footwork and placement. It is ten times harder to keep the ball going against a bad player than a good one. If he hits it out go get it and keep the rally going. Maybe match play isnt the best idea but there is alot of other things you can do with him.

    Otherwise just tell him he is not at your level and you fancy yourself to good to be bothered with him.
     
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  16. Steve Huff

    Steve Huff Legend

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    What I've heard about playing tennis for practice is to play with someone you are better than 30% of the time. Play with someone who is better than you 30% of the time. Play with others who are equal to you 40% of the time. If everyone had your attitude, you'd never get to play the better players either.
     
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  17. RoddickAce

    RoddickAce Hall of Fame

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    Yeah, like other posters said, work on your weaknesses. I do that too. It's still pretty fun and not easy to face them if you do so. Work on charging the net on first serves, or hitting huge kickers, or trick shots xD.
     
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  18. pabletion

    pabletion Professional

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    Say: Dude, look, ok? Im like, awesome and what not and youre like, crap and stuff and you totally suck. I dont wanna hit with you cause I like, kill you on every set. I dont wanna hit with you, scumbag, I play with better people who are worthy of me, so step off.

    And thats it.
     
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  19. 120mphBodyServe

    120mphBodyServe Banned

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    Don't be a D-bag and practise with the guy.
    Ever thought he's trying to improve as well???
    Why don't you give him some tips??
    If you 2 practise a bit more often, maybe he will improve quicker...
    This won't happen if you continue to be selfish...
    Do you guys hit the gym?
     
    #19
  20. Golden Retriever

    Golden Retriever Hall of Fame

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    Man, you sound like my ex-girlfriend.
     
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  21. David_Is_Right

    David_Is_Right Semi-Pro

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    It's not you, it's me.
     
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  22. El Diablo

    El Diablo Hall of Fame

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    Well said, David -- every guy's fall-back line. I have a good friend who's not much of a player but a valued friend. He likes to play with me, so I just do it once in a while and make sure I have matches scheduled with better players the rest of the time. Don't completely blow off someone who's a friend.
     
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  23. goober

    goober Legend

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    If he is your friend and dubs partner from high school, you should not being blowing him off. Just hit with him once a month or so.

    Set up doubles with him and get some good players in on it.

    Just do drills with him or work on specific things.
     
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  24. zacinnc78

    zacinnc78 Professional

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    imagine it this way:you get some kind of cruel injury that keeps you from playing at your normal level for a long time

    your higher level friends dont want to include you or maybe you dont want to include yourself because you know you cant keep up and may make the injury worse

    you need a lower level player to hit around with and stay laid back

    now your lower leveled friend you forgot about when times were good decides he dont want to hit with your a$$holiness (if you dissed him of course)anymore

    see what im saying?so go hit with him from time to time -be nice
     
    #24
  25. fps

    fps Legend

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    give your hitting partner advice, to help bring him up to your level. and work hard on aspects of your own game. if you're much better, you should be able to go through the whole session hitting at least 3/4 court depth and not missing the court.

    i have hitting partners i'm better than, but it's still good to see them, and i enjoy their company on court. and there are ALWAYS things to work on. like putting away weak shots :) or you could ask them to work on their return games so you can try some things on serve!
     
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  26. ubermeyer

    ubermeyer Hall of Fame

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    Play with him, if you aren't doing anything else. I play with my younger brothers a lot, I just am basically working on my strokes while they get to improve by trying to win the match, even though I can beat any of them 6-0, 6-0.

    Or, you could say, "I have surpassed you in terms of playing ability."
     
    #26
  27. TENNIS_IS_FUN

    TENNIS_IS_FUN Professional

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    Thanks for all your responses...

    Maybe i left out some details that will change your mind. Not only do i not want to hit with this fellow, but i am beginning to dislike his personality as well...he literally messages me once a week telling me to hit and i have to make up an excuse every time. When he talks about his other tennis friend he says 'Yea since you and I are the same level you can beat him if you play him'...it's almost as if he wants to get under my skin on purpose. This guy literally thinks we are the same level...if we play 10 sets i will murder him. It's been a year since HS and we don't talk outside of tennis. We had a conversation on aim and this is what it sounded like:

    Him: Want to hit today?
    Me: Not really haha
    Him: Why Not?
    Me: Well I don't really feel like hitting...and plus I don't think its worth hitting with my knee and stuff (Read below)
    Me: And i have to be somewhere by 3. (I really had to be somewhere by 3)
    Him: O cmon hit for 1 hr! (it's 2 o clock at this time).
    Me: Nah i don't think its worth it man.
    Him: Where you going?
    Me: O just somewhere
    Him: I know but where?
    Me: Why do you want to know so much?
    Him: Well you declined to hit with me today so i think i have a right to know o_O
    Me: .....
    Me: .....


    Does this guy think i'm on a tennis contract with him?? ****.

    Okay and ONE MORE THING....I've had ACL reconstruction surgery about 3 1/2 months ago....My physical therapist said I could hit but not move...so basically stationary rallying. I told him this multiple times....I insist that it's not worth hitting in this condition. It's like im in this tennis relationship I can't get out of. I understand that he wants to hit with someone better than him...but g-dam if i'm gonna be labeled a D-bag then he should be labeled a E-bag. He literally said 'Well you declined to hit with me today so i think i have a right to know.' Am i weird or is this completely unnecessary and stupid? He is definitely not my best friend nor is he in my close circle of friends.. I've literally seen him maybe 4 times since HS (it's been 1 year since HS) and all of those times have been through hitting (his invite)...
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2009
    #27
  28. Breaker

    Breaker Legend

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    Well lying isn't the way to go about it.

    Also how are you going to destroy him every time if you can't move?
     
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  29. fed_the_savior

    fed_the_savior Banned

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    Stop pus-sy footing around and just tell him that you think he's too inconsistent.
     
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  30. scraps234

    scraps234 Hall of Fame

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    yeah hit with him atleast 1/3 times he asks or somethng
     
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  31. Mick

    Mick Legend

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    when you play a match, give him a 30-0 lead on every game.
    I did this with my hitting partner and it certainly leveled the advantage i had over her.
     
    #31
  32. cucio

    cucio Legend

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    Bring him close to a deep black pit and trick him into saying the words: "This is madness." From there, play it by ear.
     
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  33. vkartikv

    vkartikv Hall of Fame

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    May be you can set him up with a friend of yours who is on a similar level? I did that twice and it worked. I also hit with people of lower playing abilities because I remember how it was when I wasn't all that good and you're thankful for accomodating friends...
     
    #33
  34. quest01

    quest01 Hall of Fame

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    I would just stop calling him and tell him honestly your a nice guy and all but I'm looking for someone whos more competitive and around my level. I had a similar experience in the past where I played this one guy named Mike for over 2 years and I was demolishing him 6-0 in 5 sets all under two hours and after all these public thrashings I decided to stop calling him. I think he understood that I got tired playing against him; when you beat a guy 6-0 or 6-1 almost every set for over a year then there is going to be problems.
     
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  35. maddogz32

    maddogz32 Semi-Pro

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    maybe you could try hitting with him sometimes. because bad practice is better than no practice
     
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  36. BallzofSkill

    BallzofSkill Professional

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    "it's not you, it's me".

    5 words that will work in numerous situations.
     
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  37. BallzofSkill

    BallzofSkill Professional

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    whoa, i just noticed this 3 seconds ago.
     
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  38. 120mphBodyServe

    120mphBodyServe Banned

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    If this is how you feel, then tell the guy to take a hike. He doesn't seem to be that nice a person from what you have written..
    And you shouldn't be anywhere near a tennis court anyway until your knees are 100%..
    What are you doing as far as rehabilitating the knee/s???
    I wish you well in your recovery...
     
    #38
  39. Pro_Tour_630

    Pro_Tour_630 Legend

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    .........................................
     
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  40. Yenster

    Yenster Rookie

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    I consistently hit with someone worse than me, when I do, I work on my weaknesses and things I could get better at. Like serves, contact point, follow through, volleys. Sometimes when we play a set, all I do is rush the net and volley. Oh and I practice my soon-to-be low skidding slice. =]
     
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