Hypothetical GOAT in a bar fight

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by Raindogs, Mar 28, 2010.

  1. Raindogs

    Raindogs Professional

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    I apologize as this has probably been covered in multiple other threads, but I was wondering which players from any era everyone thought would fare best when it's time to roll up the sleeves and engage in a bit of the fisticuffs. Keep in mind we're just talking about mano-a-mano bare knuckles stuff here, no weapons involved... just a couple of blokes blowing off a little steam trying to knock each other into next week.
    Please be prepared to explain you selections.
    After much consideration and imagined scenarios, here are my top five...
    1. Johnny Mac: While lacking some of the natural size and brute strength of other more obvious choices, his streetsmarts, ability to tap into an endless reservoir of rage, handspeed and lightning fast reflexes tells me that he would fare well against fellows much larger and imposing.
    2. Thomas Muster: Something tells me that this Austrian claycourt specialist would enjoy nothing more than an afternoon filled by repeatedly ramming his fist into some poor soul's mug. Besides, have you seen that youtube video of him rehabbing by hitting forehands from a bench after breaking his legs? The man is a warrior.
    3. Boris Becker: Just looks like someone who could take a punch and give better than he takes.
    4. Ilie Nastase: A fairly obvious choice although rather small by today's players standards. The Nasty-man would likely use trickery and guile to lull an opponent into a false sense of security, and then gouge at an eye or bite a forearm like a rabid dog.
    5. (tied) The Williams Sisters. This should be obvious.
     
    #1
  2. KHSOLO

    KHSOLO Semi-Pro

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    Del Potro looks like a guy who could throw and send dome chairs flying around pretty easilly
     
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  3. Andres

    Andres G.O.A.T.

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    I think Philippoussis would be an undisputed champion ;)
     
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  4. AndyArodRoddick

    AndyArodRoddick Professional

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    Safin ofcourse.
     
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  5. Giggs The Red Devil

    Giggs The Red Devil Rookie

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    Ljubicic ftw.
     
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  6. slicefox

    slicefox Banned

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    you have to be 14 years old to ask this sort of immature question.

    grow up
     
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  7. Mortifier

    Mortifier Hall of Fame

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    I actually think that the guy(s) who would take it the farthest would be Connors and McEnroe. These guys just don't know when to stop - one would use a knife, the other one would pull out a gun, and so on...
     
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  8. HunterST

    HunterST Hall of Fame

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    SHUT UP, FART BOY!!!!!!!
     
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  9. Raindogs

    Raindogs Professional

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    It's a joke, numb nuts.

    Ignore it if you are too refined, highbrow and "mah-toor" for such banter.
     
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  10. slicefox

    slicefox Banned

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    this one is a 9-year-od
     
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  11. ChopShot

    ChopShot Semi-Pro

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    :confused::confused::confused:

    That just makes no sense. Fart boy? WTF?!
    I swear, i've repeated that to myself. Out loud, even.
    IT MAKES NO SENSE!
     
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  12. Commando Tennis Shorts

    Commando Tennis Shorts Hall of Fame

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    hahahaha, love it!
     
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  13. Commando Tennis Shorts

    Commando Tennis Shorts Hall of Fame

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    ...poop face!
     
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  14. babbette

    babbette Legend

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    Tsonga would bust a cap!
     
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  15. aldeayeah

    aldeayeah Hall of Fame

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    Youzhny seems vicious.
     
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  16. gpt

    gpt Professional

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    Bill Tilden.
    Angry gay men can fight dirty
     
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  17. babbette

    babbette Legend

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    Youhznhy would bite your ear off and lick the blood off his lips.:shock:

    we're all discriminating against the short people. Ferrer can probably get it done.
     
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  18. Djokovicfan4life

    Djokovicfan4life Legend

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    Kleybanova.
     
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  19. gpt

    gpt Professional

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    okay how about Kriek. He had a psycho streak that would come in handy in a bar brawl
     
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  20. flyinghippos101

    flyinghippos101 Legend

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    NEGATIVE NANCY! :(
     
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  21. Chadwixx

    Chadwixx Banned

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    The new users keep getting better :)
     
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  22. Commando Tennis Shorts

    Commando Tennis Shorts Hall of Fame

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    So let me get this straight:

    A goat walks into a bar...
     
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  23. Dream_On

    Dream_On Rookie

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    To be honest Tsonga and Monfils would rip everyone apart, but wouldn't bet against Roddick.
    If he can serve 155 mph, just imagine him punching you
     
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  24. viduka0101

    viduka0101 Hall of Fame

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    take a look at my signature
     
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  25. LameTennisPlayer

    LameTennisPlayer Professional

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    stephanek he is one bad ass...
     
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  26. Travis Fong

    Travis Fong New User

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    Only one other user in this thread is right.

    Marat Safin is the undisputed brawler among tennis players. In fact, he's so tough he WON a straight set match in perth with a black eye. What a monster
     
    #26
  27. Cantankersore

    Cantankersore Semi-Pro

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    They've probably had practice ;)
     
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  28. pc1

    pc1 Legend

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    Funny thread. I like the concept.
    Yannick Noah, Lew Hoad, Pancho Gonzalez, Guillermo Vilas (the guy had muscles on his muscles), John Newcombe.
     
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  29. Raindogs

    Raindogs Professional

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    Uncertainies about Roddick

    I strongly considered Roddick, but in the end I decided that there was just something kind of "soft" about him, like he would be worried about messing up his face or ripping his shirt. It was a judgement call, but in the end The Williams Sisters absolutely had to find a spot on the list.
     
    #29
  30. slicefox

    slicefox Banned

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    tsonga is over 200lbs you noobs.

    also monfils is a beast at 6'4" with extreme stamina
     
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  31. gpt

    gpt Professional

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    size weight and stamina dont always win bar fights.
     
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  32. OKUSA

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    Safin, guy gets in bar fights all the time.
     
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  33. matchmaker

    matchmaker Hall of Fame

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    I imagine the players' party with old and new stars...

    Stephanek would be trying to pick up the GF's of the other players, while Becker is banging them in the toilet, and Safin is having a fight with the guard outside,...

    All of a sudden Agassi gets into a row with Sampras, who is leaving and only gave a one dollar tip to the valet.

    Meanwhile Lendl and Johnny Mac are playing pool, but the situation gets out of hand when Lendl shoots the cue ball right at JMac, when he could have easily gone for a safety shot.

    Connors is looking from the side and sees the opportunity to kick some trouble stirring up the fight between the two hotheads a little more.

    Roger and Rafa are looking desperate to calm the situation. Roger is saying something along the lines of: "These rivalries are intense", while Rafa goes: "Stop it a little" to the mob.

    But then it gets totally out of hand, when Shakira performs as a surprise act, and Xisca suspects it is all a conspiracy to be with Rafa backstage.

    She grabs Shakira's hair and starts to whirl around her in the best Mallorcan matador tradition.

    Now Serena comes into play, she is playing a game of darts, but someone said her foot was over the line and her points do not count. "I will shove this dart down your f*** throat".

    Seles overheard her words and runs anxiously away. While Graf smiles and says: "Now the game is mine".

    ..........

    To be continued, use your imagination.

    This players' party sounds like a lot of fun.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2010
    #33
  34. himynameisNIKE

    himynameisNIKE Professional

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    you sir, win the internet :shock:
     
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  35. flyinghippos101

    flyinghippos101 Legend

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    you have to be 14 years old to answer this sort of immature question.

    grow up
     
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  36. JoshDragon

    JoshDragon Hall of Fame

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    This thread is pointless. Everyone knows that Vegeta is the king of bar fights. Doesn't matter which tennis players, would be involved in the brawl, Vegeta would just blow them up and claim the victory for himself.
     
    #36
  37. Djokovicfan4life

    Djokovicfan4life Legend

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    A clever post in the GPPD section. Well done, good sir.
     
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  38. LameTennisPlayer

    LameTennisPlayer Professional

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    matchmaker....that was good
     
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  39. fireice

    fireice New User

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    MADE MY DAY
     
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  40. Toxicmilk

    Toxicmilk Professional

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    Gilles Simon.
    Safin will have beaten everyone up and offs himself because he doesn't "hit women"
     
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  41. gpt

    gpt Professional

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    Great work matchmaker. You sould have started a new thread with this.
     
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  42. matchmaker

    matchmaker Hall of Fame

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    Here are some photos and footage of the above mentioned party, just click and see for yourself:

    http://colunistas.ig.com.br/paulocleto/files/2009/06/stepanek-bachelorrrrrrrrrrrrr.jpg

    http://www.news.com.au/common/imagedata/0,,6425549,00.jpg

    http://manhattan85.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/boris-becker-sandy-engaged1.jpg

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QSK9t6OrgU

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xAPwx3z950

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYYUtb4GUHE&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJtBsnehFZs

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oA792DGT2E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl-2uVhNLJI
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2010
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  43. Semi-Pro

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    #43
  44. JeMar

    JeMar Legend

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    Johnny Mac is one of my favorite tennis players, but he's a total puss.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYYUtb4GUHE
     
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  45. Overheadsmash

    Overheadsmash Semi-Pro

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    Matchmaker that was the best post I have read here yet.

    Jessie Levine would kick all their a$$es:mrgreen:
     
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  46. Djokovicfan4life

    Djokovicfan4life Legend

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    Jesse Witten is kind of built like a linebacker--- he might do OK.
     
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  47. Tennis_Crazed

    Tennis_Crazed Semi-Pro

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    hahaha this is pretty funny. I think Michael Chang would rip *** up.
     
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  48. Miami Tiburon

    Miami Tiburon Semi-Pro

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    Safin,Tursonov,Dent,Soderling

    Old School - Roscoe Tanner
     
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  49. Maestro Nalbandian

    Maestro Nalbandian Professional

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    I say Soderling would be pretty good in a UFC style fight.
     
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  50. reversef

    reversef Hall of Fame

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    Funny thread. :) I don't think that it would be Muster's style. I always found him quiet off court. Tsonga, I don't think so either. McEnroe, Connors, young Agassi, Becker, Safin, Nastase and a few others, yes.
     
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