I am so sick of other juniors, they lack PERSONALITY!

Discussion in 'Junior League & Tournament Talk' started by tonysk83, Nov 15, 2006.

  1. tonysk83

    tonysk83 Semi-Pro

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    I am so sick of most of the other juniors I know, just sort of know through group lessons, tournaments, other highschools, and hanging around the club. I think these kids have been the most sheltered kids their entire life because they are so god damn boring and have no personality at all. I will say something simple such as nice racquet and I will ask a question about it, and they get like embarassed and give me some short answer and don't want to talk anymore.

    Not every kid I know is like this, some of them actually talk, understand what a joke is, and can actually carry out a conversation, but the majority of the like 25 kids in my group lessons are just the most boring kids ever. I hate to sterotype, because one of coolest kids in the class is Asian, but in general in my class, the Asian kids are the most shy, and are like afraid to talk to kids that aren't Asian. Then their are the kids who you can tell their parents have made every choice for them their entire lives and they can't do anything on their own, or their parents are always talking for them. I wish kids could lighten up and have some fun playing tennis these days instead of being so reserved and boring. I have played basketball, baseball, paintball, and football competitively and never had this same experience in these other sports.

    /rant
     
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  2. Ky0shiro

    Ky0shiro New User

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    Shouldn't this be in rants and raves? I don't really think they have no personality, you can't force someone to talk to you.
     
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  3. Dashbarr

    Dashbarr Rookie

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    i know exactly what you are talking about. it happens to me all the time. these kids need to go to a camp without mommy or daddy for a few months, see if they open up.
     
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  4. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

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    Lets think about this. Most of the "cool", outgoing kids play more popular sports like baseball, basketball, football. I guess tennis is more of the loner sport because it ) requires less people and 2) keeps them away from kids that might make fun of them for being shy and not fitting in.

    Its stupid arrogant kids that act like A-holes that give shy kids this inferiority complex.
     
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  5. J-man

    J-man Hall of Fame

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    You know I know where your coming from. I know a couple of juniors and they are just boring and very shy. I a joke and they don't laugh or have a small chuckle and that's all. I only get into real conversations with a couple of junior players around my club
     
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  6. Duzza

    Duzza Legend

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    It is because of the lack of "adult" tennis. You need to, as a junior, play once a week with adults and just joke around a bit.
     
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  7. Tchocky

    Tchocky Hall of Fame

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    Are you Asian? I'm Asian and I agree that most Asians are quiet and reserved. Most Asians don't have much personality....I'd have to agree with that.
     
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  8. tonysk83

    tonysk83 Semi-Pro

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    No I am not Asian, but my tennis club has a lot of Asian kids. It seems like they are in general very shy or they only will hang out with other Asian kids. I once again hate to stereotype since I know some really cool Asian kids but in general Asian parents are pretty strict, and it seems like they give their kids less of a chance to have fun with friends and just grow up. I think in 1 or 2 generation we won't really see that as much with Asian parents after current Asian-American teenagers grow up and want their kids to have the normal life they never did.

    Maybe these kids need to grow up instead and not worry what other people think about them?

    I definitely don't act like a dick to the kids I play with, but I like to joke around and have fun, but most of these kids are so damn stone faced its like they are afraid of being around other people.
     
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  9. Voltron

    Voltron Hall of Fame

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    When people are arrogant around me, they tend to get hurt somehow. Actually there was this guy who bragged about how awesome he was constantly, so I tagged him at the net with a forehand. He was in high school and he almost cryed. That'll learn ya!!
     
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  10. HLM2

    HLM2 Rookie

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    Im a junior who plays often and I would probably agree with you, however I think its more of the snobbish arrogant kids who think their better than everyone else that really annoys me. You do one little thing wrong around them, and they get huffy and puffy and get angry. I think you see this in tennis more often because its a lone sport and the parents are usually more rich and spoil their children.
     
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  11. fishuuuuu

    fishuuuuu Hall of Fame

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    Wrong. It starts with where a kid is from, his family.
     
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  12. Banger

    Banger Rookie

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    Damn thats pretty funny.
     
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  13. looseswing

    looseswing Professional

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    I completely agree with you here. I hate those kids that put pressure on you for missing shots, especially the ones that angry if you are not playing at their level and they are better than you.
     
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  14. tonysk83

    tonysk83 Semi-Pro

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    I have never played casually with a kid that was all high and mighty and thought he was amazing. In some tournaments I have gotten that attitude from a few kids, but usually that is when they are beating me 6-0, 5-0 in the last game:)

    Honestly all the kids I meet playing tennis are either extremely boring and pretty big losers, or they are just nice, normal kids.
     
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  15. Amone

    Amone Hall of Fame

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    Actually, psychological studies have shown that it isn't a child's family, but his (or her) peer group which affects their general disposition.
     
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  16. looseswing

    looseswing Professional

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    In the first round of a tourny one time as the my opponent and I were walking out to the courts we were talking a little and he goes "I hope your good, because I need a good warmup match for the next rounds." Too bad for him that I double bagled him (I am not crazy good at tennis, he just sucked).
     
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  17. thejackal

    thejackal Hall of Fame

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    He was maybe trying to psych you out. Good thing you called his bluff though.
     
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  18. fishuuuuu

    fishuuuuu Hall of Fame

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    Instinctive mother-child relationships have a great effect. Ambivilant infants and those not predispositioned for normalcy will tend toward this trend of shyness or rejection.
     
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  19. tonysk83

    tonysk83 Semi-Pro

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    Good stuff, I love kids like that because I like messing around with them and ******* them off. Cocky/arrogant kids usually have pretty short tempers, and if they are beating you, it is fun to mess around with them.
     
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  20. donnyz89

    donnyz89 Hall of Fame

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    totally agree with you. Tennis is just isnt an outgoing sport I guess. I know what you are talking about the asian deal too. Actually, most asian players I know are actually not that shy. However, in school, most of asian, especially chinese kids are very shy. But there are a few that are cool and fits in with anyone else but then the others just talks to other shy kids only... I have VERY few asian friends because they are all so shy and so sheltered. They are all raised under such strict "all A+" families and sheltered parents its boring talking and hanging with them. I can say all this because I personally am chinese. I've seen white kids parents and asian kids' parents, BIG difference in how they communicate... the way I see some asian kids being raised its sad...
     
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  21. slice bh compliment

    slice bh compliment G.O.A.T.

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    I see this among teens, too. Of every background, ethnically. Yes, even among terminally hip, rich white kids.;)

    Often in individual sports, you get introverts. Nothing wrong with that.

    With the computer, email, texting, IM, forums, blog culture...you get totally normal kids who happen to have poorly-honed social skills. They do not know what to do on a real live telephone or in person. Many experience anxiety over seemingly simple social situations. Seriously, I sometimes hit with a few young local players and their friends. I have seen it.

    So, even if a kid might be a bit of an extrovert, he may lack the social skills to pull it off. Just never got the chance to develop them. Then, the parents and coaches realize they need to branch out a little, ease up on the sheltered vibe and get ready for college/travel/the real world/tournaments on the road/etc.

    It is not an epidemic or anything...it's not that bad. Once they get to know you, and they trust you, and they get to hit a few with you and they realize you're cool, Tony....they come out of their shell.

    Aw sorry I'm comparing today's youth to the youth of twenty years ago. Sorry if I sound like an ol' coot. But I'm not that old.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2006
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  22. Volly master

    Volly master Semi-Pro

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    I dont like how i would try to start a conversation with a kid before a match starts while we are walking to the court and I barly get any response at all.

    WOW..talk about a moment killer. these kids need to loosen up a just a little bit.
     
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  23. slice bh compliment

    slice bh compliment G.O.A.T.

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    Dear Volly Master,

    First of all, you are good at volleys.
    Second, you tried to START a conversation?

    On both counts, you have nothing in common with a growing demographic in tennis.;)

    Mostly, I am joking, but yeah, it seems like there are more and more of the shy kids out there. Part of me blames the wuss/computer/geek/sheltered culture. Part of me blames to parents. Part of it is the fact that more and more kids (especially in urban areas) are taught to NEVER talk to strangers. And rightly so. These are different times, especially life in big cities.
     
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  24. looseswing

    looseswing Professional

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    Well I sometimes have some polite conversation before a match, but it depends on the setting. If you try to do so before a tournament match I can see how someone would not talk that much, but if its before a practice match I would be put off if my opponent did not talk.
     
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  25. J-man

    J-man Hall of Fame

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    Tell me about it:roll:
     
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  26. Swissv2

    Swissv2 Hall of Fame

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    I would rather have a person that is brilliant that has little emotion, than a guy that bounces all over the place, and is at best 'decent'.

    then again, maybe we need another agassi?
     
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  27. tonysk83

    tonysk83 Semi-Pro

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    Yeah man, I know a lot of very friendy asian kids, but in general it seems like their parents are way too structured, hopefully our teenage asian general can break this trend, then again I have no control over that because I'm not asian. I read a book about overachievers in highschools and two of the students followed are Asian, and the stories of these parents are horrifying. I guess a lot of it stems from the fact that in Asia such a small number of kids get into college that you need to be basically perfect.


    I have played a lot of team sports, this is really the first individual sport I have played, and I can say it definitely makes things pretty boring. Good thing my two hitting partners are pretty normal, sociable kids like me. Our 1 singles player, who is a nationally ranked played, going to U of Illinois next season, an amazing player has probably some of the worst social skills I have ever seen, and it is definitely from him being around his parents and not as many kids his whole life. Hell, he never really got a real high school experience since he leaves school early everyday.

    I would rather have someone that is fun to watch, but not as good. Kind of like watching Federer or Safin/Baggy/etc. I'll take Safin over Fed any day if I am forced to watch one or the other.
     
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  28. Dashbarr

    Dashbarr Rookie

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    People i play with are deathly silent. the guy who said moment killer is exactly right. i try to have a short conversation with a guy as i walk to the court, and he looks down like he's some sort of terminally ill patient. i get on the court: i say 'good luck, up or down?'. no response. 'HEY! up or down?'. *silent uhh* 'down', in a whisper. and i just get mad after that. they honestly dont want to talk or joke or anything having to do with me or other players. and THAT pisses me off.
     
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  29. slice bh compliment

    slice bh compliment G.O.A.T.

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    Probably a compliment to your tennis that they have to get that monastically silent. Well, either that or you accidentally signed up for the monk's tennis league. I know it pisses you off, but just think of their girlfriends!
     
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  30. nalbandian_fan

    nalbandian_fan Semi-Pro

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    i used to feel the same way when i started going to tournaments, until i realized that showing emotion and expressing yourself usually will only lead to bad things, whether you've won or lost the point, being calm and focused for the next point is what is important. i'm outgoing and have a good time when im playing tennis for fun, but when i'm in a tournament i don't say a word but the score and i try my best to stay calm and focused.
     
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  31. xtremerunnerars

    xtremerunnerars Hall of Fame

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    I'm all for being friends and stuff...and i can hold a conversation with the best of em but there's a line. In certain situations you have to detach yourself from that person or group and just go for it.


    Before a match, i'm not looking to see what college they want to go to or anything like that. I'm getting into the zone and thinking about how the match is going to play out.
     
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  32. Mr.Federer

    Mr.Federer Hall of Fame

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    Maybe it's because you're not funny...think about it...
     
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  33. nalbandian_fan

    nalbandian_fan Semi-Pro

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    haha burn

    (damn10charsrule)
     
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  34. Tempyst

    Tempyst Semi-Pro

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    What really ticks me off about the shy asian players is that once they get to know you, they can really annoy you with their immature social skills. I met a chinese kid a year younger than me through his mom going up to my mom and asking to exchange #'s for tennis. He isn't a jerk or anything like that, but the comments, body language, and poor execution of jokes really get me aggrivated, especially when he does it during a match. He would call me 3 times after we get home from school every 15 minutes asking me when I was coming on days I could play. Also, whenever it was break point for him and then I took the point back to deuce, he would dramatically say, "Noo! I will win this game!" Or sometimes he would ask during the middle of a match, "Hey, want to switch racquets?" or "Can I play with your racquet?"

    I don't put him down by saying that, instead I ask him to stop or I just ignore him. However, at some points he really pushes my buttons that it throws off my concentration. Just last saturday, as I was about to serve, he started stomping the ground to throw me off. I looked down and he had this grin on his face, and repeatedly does this until I told him to knock it off. He acts ignorant to it and I got all serious telling him to stop, rotting my concentration enough to allow him to win the match.

    As an asian myself, I understand his situation because I was once in the same position and I do talk to him and help him about other tennis stuff before and after matches to build his social confidence, but it's getting too much. I don't know whether to continue to be lenient with him or just tell him to really shut his mouth during matches.
     
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  35. EasternRocks

    EasternRocks Hall of Fame

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    Particulary in the early age groups, many kids want fame and popularity amongst other players. They aren't much focused on their game and PERSONALITY. All that is in their mind is, WIN, WIN, WIN. Many parents these days, don't set a good example, wanting their daughter or son to win as much as possible. But this is a point, will be furtherly discussed. A big issue amongst American Jrs, especially in the 12s and 14s.
     
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  36. soggyramen

    soggyramen Professional

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    i hate that too but i must be a miracle worker because every player i pretty much hang out with at tournaments or at high school matches or even group practice, i always get them to open up and talk. people consider me really friendly. the kids in my practice group always hangout together a lot of time we'll have a get together with us and the new people that join our group every year. we'll play wii tennis, eat, watch some tennis and just go around town having fun and it's great then they really start to get comfortable with us and start to have fun. they just gotta open up
     
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  37. babolat15

    babolat15 Hall of Fame

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    ya, it happens to everyone, if there werent jerkoffs in the world then there wouldnt be the cool, outgoing people like all of us posters :)
     
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  38. J011yroger

    J011yroger G.O.A.T.

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    I dunno, most kids are real quiet and to themselves, but I usually just walk up and say, "Hey, wassup buddy?" and we B.S. and so forth, especially if I am friends with their coach. Then whenever else I see them, I get a wave or we talk for a few mins.

    Adult tourneys are much much more talkative, because adults play the tourneys to be social events, not so much to win. I treat opens the same way. I talk to everyone, my opponent, the tourney director, the pros at the club, the kids at the club, their parents, everyone.

    Not only does it show character, and build personality, but you meet new people, make contacts, and most importantly, it relaxes me. I find I am way more relaxed talking to someone rather than sitting down with a towel over my head.

    J
     
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  39. Babb

    Babb Professional

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    About chatting with your opponent before a match, I'm not in the mood normally. I'm trying to get focused. And yes, kids ( such as me-- I'm 15) these days do have poor social skills. It's just that we take advantage of available technology (like every human on the earth except the Amish (sp?)). We're not used to talking in person. Anyway, if you want personality, I have plenty of it. ;)
     
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  40. federer envies me

    federer envies me Semi-Pro

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    i disagree... Im asian and all the asians I know are not shy at all. really all the shy kids I play with are white
     
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  41. Max Winther

    Max Winther Semi-Pro

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    Where I live, the 2 places that offer good tennis clinics are really expensive, and usually the only ones that can afford the lessons and all the gear are the rich, snobby kids. Not to say you need expensive lessons and gear to be good. So yeah, I usually don't like hanging around the club or going to tennis parties because all those kids do is put down other people to compensate for the fact that they've got no personality themselves. It's ok though, because they get whats coming to them on the court:p
     
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  42. ROFLingpanda

    ROFLingpanda New User

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    If the kids want to be shy, let them be shy. In my opinion, the ignorant loud kids are more annoying then the shy kids and I'm sure if those shy kids wanted to become more social, they would take the first step, not you.
    Still, I know how it feels when you try to start a conversation with someone before a match and they won't talk to you.. I admit I'd like to talk to people before matches but I keep it short since I feel shy and I feel that they feel shy.
     
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  43. crazy8tiger

    crazy8tiger Rookie

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    I'll have to agree with this too because I am Vietnamese/Chinese. I'm not too shy in class but I am much more open around my friends, but I am still working on being less shy in class. I could say I am partially raised in a A+ family but after a while, I found ways and are still finding ways to get good grades but still try to not have such a boring personality.
     
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  44. ROFLingpanda

    ROFLingpanda New User

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    There are many ways that would work out.. at least i hope so since I'm also Chinese-Vietnamese (and raised in an A+ family). I doubt shyness is a part of the Asian character but the thing with Asian parents is a lot of the time, they just don't think sports are as important as academics and it's really annoying.
     
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  45. miniRafa386

    miniRafa386 Hall of Fame

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    very true, but some kids are just like that. i think you have it right, with the basketball, baseball, etc. its not good to only play tennis, up to a certain age. i played soccer, baseball, and basketball competitive until i was 14, then i decieded that tennis was the thing for me. the kids who dont talk are the ones that creep me out the most. for example, who is a cooler guy, james blake or robin soderling? the guy who chills out and talks to other player before his match, or the guy who doesnt talk with others and is 'socially impared'?
     
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