I need some trash talk ideas

Discussion in 'Tennis Tips/Instruction' started by freelans, May 20, 2006.

  1. jaZZirat

    jaZZirat New User

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    Is that all you got...I played your sister last night. Not only is she a better tennis player she's a great kisser too!

    I just talked with your mother at the change over. She says I can go home with her after the match. She said take your time walking home.
     
    #51
  2. MatchpointServe

    MatchpointServe New User

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    My coach does a lot of 'fun' trash talking. He's pretty cool. He always says stuff like, "Do you need a tissue?" or "Oh I'm sorry, was that serve to fast for you? I'll try and slow it down." or "Why don't you just give up now?" "Ready to give up?" It's all in good fun, and he's a great guy. Perhaps try that.
     
    #52
  3. Roddick The Beast

    Roddick The Beast Banned

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    My dad talks smack constantly! I know he is only messing around and trying to train my mental toughness and all. It gets to me though! ARGGGGG

    He'll say like: "Give me another double fault so that I can conserve some energy!" or "That's not going in!" Stuff like that!

    Haha
     
    #53
  4. Bungalo Bill

    Bungalo Bill G.O.A.T.

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    So what are you saying? You are soft in the head? lol

    Probably wants you to stop hitting like a girl and is worried you might turn....
     
    #54
  5. wyutani

    wyutani Hall of Fame

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    lolz, really mean...haha
     
    #55
  6. Roddick The Beast

    Roddick The Beast Banned

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    Ouch!!!!!!
     
    #56
  7. Roddick The Beast

    Roddick The Beast Banned

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    Not compared to the things that people say about "your game"! :mrgreen: (Whoops, sorry to bring that up) ^_^
     
    #57
  8. wyutani

    wyutani Hall of Fame

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    what's wrong wif "my game' eh?
     
    #58
  9. Andres

    Andres G.O.A.T.

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    What? You actually HAVE a game?
    Probably, Bungallo and TennisAsAlways would disagree with you ;)
     
    #59
  10. Kabob190

    Kabob190 Rookie

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    I know what you mean about dads talking smack. My dad isnt very good at it he gives a fake lauph kinda like haha or he'll say something extremely stupid. It gets really annoying when you're trying your hardest and he just says stupid things even though he's playing just as good if not worse than you are.
     
    #60
  11. Roddick The Beast

    Roddick The Beast Banned

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    Yeah, I've been really calm lately though. I am learning that I do not play well when I am angry. :) I guess some people feed off of rage.
     
    #61
  12. Kabob190

    Kabob190 Rookie

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    I am trying to get passed this because my game, serve in particular, definitely is at a lower level when i am angry. My dad is never going to stop so i am going to have to learn to stay calm. Its not that easy because my dad is good at gettin under my skin.
     
    #62
  13. Roddick The Beast

    Roddick The Beast Banned

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    Well, I think my dad is succeeding in what he's doing. He IS afterall making me insane, and so I have to adapt to it! I think he's trying to throw all of this "unsportmanlike trash talking" at me, more than I would experience in reality, so that I will be better able to cope with people in real matches.
     
    #63
  14. Kabob190

    Kabob190 Rookie

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    He's already made me insane, he keeps annoying me yet i still ask him to play every chance i get. People dont really act like this during matches, my dad just does it for the hell of it. Kinda his source for amusment, make fun of my son.
     
    #64
  15. slice bh compliment

    slice bh compliment G.O.A.T.

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    I forget the exact story, but this one time? at tennis? Ilie Nastase asked a guy about his clothes...like, "Hey nice outfit, man....you like it, heh? Good...I deedent know they started making those for men. Do they make that for men?"

    I bet this works even better if your opponent wears something either effeminate or just a bit too fancy and/or matching.
     
    #65
  16. dmvprof

    dmvprof Banned

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    If you want to get into his head, start laughing every once in a while for no reason, just think of something funny. But don't tell him why, act as if you've got a secret.

    I swear, it'll get in his head more than any trash talking can.
     
    #66
  17. Kabob190

    Kabob190 Rookie

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    or just smile in a really creepy manner after every point
     
    #67
  18. Roddick The Beast

    Roddick The Beast Banned

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    LMAO! Imagine giving your opponent that "creepy butler" high-pitched odd giggle, with the creepy smile, eye and facial expressions: "Mmmm, yyyyhesssssss?" :mrgreen:
     
    #68
  19. Kabob190

    Kabob190 Rookie

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    lol and add something a bulter might say, like you rang? er that was kinda stupid but you catch my drift
     
    #69
  20. porchdoor

    porchdoor Rookie

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    "that's out, you say? hm, i didn't realize you were both blind and retarded."
     
    #70
  21. bluegrasser

    bluegrasser Hall of Fame

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    How about a vintage one : " Your Mother wears army boots."
     
    #71
  22. TennsDog

    TennsDog Hall of Fame

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    My favorite: (after hitting an ace) look across the court and simply say "ALL DAY!" They get the point. You can add your own emphasis whether you want it to be simple and matter-of-fact or more in-you-face kind. I prefer the latter myself. I'm not sure if that's the kid of trash talk you're looking for, but it sure can get to them if you are actually doing it all day. ;)
     
    #72
  23. slice bh compliment

    slice bh compliment G.O.A.T.

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    That wouldn't even **** me off. It's too tennis-related.
    I'd just make a special effort to get that serve back and make you play longer points. All day.
     
    #73
  24. BigbangerNYC

    BigbangerNYC Rookie

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    My trashtalk:

    --When I rip a passing shot passed the net player, I say: "Oh sh*t, I missed the target."

    --Winning volley: " I killed the duck"

    --Ace: "Need I slow it down more for you?"

    -- on opponent's missed volley or shanked shot: " would you like to borrow my fishnet?"

    --opponent's double-fault: "take 10"

    --when I pin a hard volley shot to the oppoent's body: "target too big" (especially when the opponent is a bit overweight).

    --beginning of match or after winning first set: "Bagels or baguettes? Your choice..."

    --On questioning my linecall : " What are you a Cyclop you can't see depth?"

    --On questioning my calling his serve or shot wide: "Honestly, it was as wide as your wife (or as your body)"

    --On his calling my shot long or wide: "The court must have expanded since the last point"
     
    #74
  25. HyperHorse

    HyperHorse Banned

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    my solution against trash talkers....
    push them off the baseline with deep topspin strokes.. then drop shot... weak reply...
    then just smack the ball right at them..
     
    #75
  26. retroceso

    retroceso Rookie

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    just make fun of their vision

    my favorite line "Stop playing like a *****."
    cursing alway does the trick
     
    #76
  27. Dink

    Dink Rookie

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    Pure Genius.

    Here are a few basketball trashtalking tips:
    http://www.youtube.com/v/YxYIYYDU1sY
    "Listen to the sound of getting dunked on!
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2007
    #77
  28. Dink

    Dink Rookie

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    Is it true that Connors and McEnroe used to exchange words and shouldercheck each other during changeovers? Do players today trashtalk at all?
     
    #78
  29. NoSkillzAndy

    NoSkillzAndy Rookie

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    I've never actually used any of these in match situations, but my friends and I like to joke around with a little trash taking and gamesmanship every now and then. Regular trash talking is so boring and predictable, so we like to take it to another level...

    * Before the match starts drop a pair of bagels in your opponent's tennis bag.

    * Before the match ask your opponent to pick a number between 1 and 6. Once they give you a number you reply, "Okay, that's how many games you're going to get."

    * Before the match hand your opponent a bill for a 1 hour lesson.

    * Show up to the match dressed in "throw back" tennis clothes from the 1930's, complete with slacks, sweeter vest, wood racquet, and greasy combed over hair. Then win.

    * Trash talk in a weak, high-pitched cracking voice and say stupid things like, "You're in my world now" or "The bigger they are, the harder they fall!"

    * Use the Hewitt come on! with the "vicht" hand gesture whenever possible. Peferably when you have little to do with winning the point, such as an opponent double fault.

    * If the "vicht" isn't working for you, try upping it a notch or two with the patented Jimmy Conners double fist pump, or perhaps dance around the court like a monkey (a la Stepanek).

    * If your opponent misses an easy return of serve, ask them if they want you to slow it down a little for them.

    * If your opponent hits a clean winner, hesitate for a moment while looking at where the ball landed, then demonstrably call it out. When your opponent predictably questions your call, say "No, no, it was definately out. Here look at the mark." Then walk over to a ficticious mark several feet away from where the ball actually landed and circle that spot with your racquet.

    * If your opponent calls one of your shots that was clearly out, out, then throw your racquet down and yell at them, "That's bullsh!t! That was on the line!"

    * Every now and then, launch a serve directly at your opponent trying to hit them in the air. If you miss say, "Oh, sorry about that. I was just trying to get an easy point." If you actually hit them, proceed to talk as much trash as possible and/or use one of the hand gestures from above.

    * The ever classic, make all your "out" line calls before the ball even comes close to bouncing. If the ball actually lands in, don't bother to reverse your call.

    * If your opponent hits a winner and you don't feel like calling it out, compliment them by saying, "Nice shot... b!tch!"

    * Call out your own strokes before you hit them, and try to give them special names when possible, like in Prince of Tennis or something. Some examples: "ridiculous forehand winner cross court", "slice of legend", "monkey drinks master's wine", & "chopper".
     
    #79
  30. skiracer55

    skiracer55 Hall of Fame

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    "How about that?

    ...you just missed another service return. I'll bet you feel just like a big piece of doo-doo, don't you? Here...want me to serve underhand?"
     
    #80
  31. Dink

    Dink Rookie

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    Have you been watching my matches? :-D

    [​IMG]

    I'd like to add the following to the list:

    * Make the Top Spin "not in my house" gesture whenever you putaway a volley or an overhead.

    * Scream "Don't throw that trash on my court!" whenever you putaway a floater.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2007
    #81
  32. ktownva

    ktownva Semi-Pro

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    Dear Dink,

    Your avatar is beyond lame. Chris Duhon is the most worthless POS in the NBA. If I were Paxon I would try to trade him for like a future third round pick and a Snickers bar. Probably isn't worth that even. I can't believe he ever got into Duke, not that they are any good cuz they suck as bad as Duhon. My VCU Rams sent their asses packing Round 1.

    John Isner is the future - yeah, the future punching bag for Fed/Nadal/Djoker, if he ever gets deep enough to lose to them which is unlikely.

    PS - I would kick your butt so bad at tennis, you would need a tub of cream cheese for all the bagels. Have a nice day :-D
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2007
    #82
  33. kevhen

    kevhen Hall of Fame

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    Your woman has a better backhand than you. Her strokes are much smoother and even a little bit harder than yours but then she has the perfect grip size. Your woman grunts much louder than you. Your woman looks incredible in a tennis skirt and even better with it off.

    New Schoolers use 'biatch' in place of 'woman'.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2007
    #83
  34. Tempyst

    Tempyst Semi-Pro

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    "I've got your name, I've got your A##!"
     
    #84
  35. Dink

    Dink Rookie

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    Dang, that is some excellent trashtalk! (tips hat)
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2007
    #85
  36. supersmash

    supersmash Semi-Pro

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    Like a previous poster suggested, bring a newspaper and read it during the changeover.

    "What are you doing?"

    "...Bored"


    Or, after you bagel someone, reach into your bag and pull out a Philadelphia Cream Cheese logo.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2007
    #86
  37. Dink

    Dink Rookie

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    Better yet, bring Maybe the Moon.
     
    #87
  38. coloskier

    coloskier Legend

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    Personally I think all trash talkers in any sport should have my racket fully implanted in their forehead. ;)
     
    #88
  39. Hidious

    Hidious Professional

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    After an error from your opponent: "Damn, how can you keep your calm after a shot like this? I usually throw my racquet when i play like that."
     
    #89
  40. SlapShot

    SlapShot Hall of Fame

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    My personal favorite when someone hits an ace/winner:

    "That's cute. Try and do it again."
     
    #90
  41. Pistol_Pete

    Pistol_Pete New User

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    When playing doubles, say to the other team that they must like each other a lot because they're always in 'love'.
     
    #91
  42. Dink

    Dink Rookie

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    I am aware that Chris Duhon sucks. Being from Slidell, however, I have no choice but to like the guy.

    http://www.shamsports.com/content/pages/playerProfiles/profileDisplay.jsp?id=54
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2007
    #92
  43. cj011

    cj011 New User

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    This is what I do. It's more along the quiet type but it really gets in peoples head. Play with an old ass beat up racquet. When you sit down next to your opponent ask them you their racquet and then get the discussion on your racquet. Throw in the comment "that there is something about hitting aces and blowing winners by people with an old ass racquet."
     
    #93
  44. TENNIS_IS_FUN

    TENNIS_IS_FUN Professional

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    a simple "F*CK YOU." always does the trick for me.
     
    #94
  45. dave333

    dave333 Hall of Fame

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    ^^^Not very creative....
     
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  46. smoothtennis

    smoothtennis Hall of Fame

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    LOL! I had a good one pulled on me and my partner this weekend against some really good doubles guys. I don't know if he meant it to be trash talk, because they are both great personalities, and much fun to play against.

    We were serving, and my partner double faults. The opponent, hollers over the net, "No, no, take another two, take em!" and sets up to return. LOL!!!
    How GOOD IS THAT?

    I am smiling like...I remembered this thread and started laughing. My partner is like, "are you nutz?...forget it." And then he starts laughing.

    PS. These were older guys, and clearly better at doubles than us.
     
    #96
  47. smoothtennis

    smoothtennis Hall of Fame

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    So in a tourney a few weeks ago, my opponent was yelling, "Come on!" like Hewitt, no kidding---after only two games in the match. He did this three times in two games. I am like this is going to be a long day, LOL. I actually went up to the net with a laugh, and said, "Isn't it a little early to be doing Hewitt already?" He didn't know what to say, and just kind of laughed.

    Well later, after I was rolling him 5-2, and served an ace up the T, I yelled out to him, "Can I get a Come ON! now?!" I swear to everyone here...the USTA umpire standing at the net laughed out loud! It just came to me...yes, true story. It was all in good fun, hehe.
     
    #97
  48. daveyboy

    daveyboy Rookie

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    Here's how I trash talk....
















    Get it? Remember, grasshopper, silence is deafening.
     
    #98
  49. Ambivalent

    Ambivalent Hall of Fame

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    When playing doubles: "Looks like your mom isnt gonna be the only one to get hit by my balls today."

    Lol that was lame and i just made it up right now.
     
    #99
  50. BounceHitBounceHit

    BounceHitBounceHit Legend

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    Try mixing in some 'junk' or 'trash' with your shots. It works a whole lot better than all the jawing in the world................ ;) CC
     

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