If we lived by Uncle Toni’s philosophy, the world would be a better place

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by Subventricular Zone, Apr 28, 2011.

  1. Subventricular Zone

    Subventricular Zone Rookie

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    I was inspired by someone who suggested that I might be Uncle T...apologies in advance if it's a little stale.


    The Philosophy of Toni Nadal as imparted to his nephew Ralph


    1. Being good at hitting a fuzzy yellow ball does not mean you are the center of the universe.

    Rafel, you winner of 9 grand slams, no? Why you keep hitting the ball to the net? One more flubbed wide serve and you… stand in the corner!!!

    2. You will never be good enough.

    Roger is the best of the history, no?
    Laver was the best coz he won the Grand Slam twice, no?
    Now, move you’re grande a** back to the tennis court!

    3. Always give 100%.

    You little pri**, either you pay attention or stop wasting my ****ing time!!!

    4. Always take it one match at time, one point at a time.

    Okay, Rafel, we do it like this. Every point just put the ball in his backhand, but when I shout “vamos”, you hit to the forehand, no?

    5. Play as if it’s the last match you’ll ever play.

    Rafel, if you lose this match, I gonna throw the stupid playstation to the garbage, entiende?

    6. Always be with humble and illusion.

    Rafel, we gonna take down Roger, but we need to be with humble, no? We don’t want him to get pissed like he did with that crazy old lady who said “the king is dead”, no?

    7. Tennis is just a game.

    Why you cry when you lost Wimbledon, eh? Only little babies cry…pfft!!! Don’t worry, next year you gonna beat him after I ask my special friend to make it rain/make it too dark during the final, no?

    Uncle Toni=modern day Confucius :mrgreen: (or perhaps, reincarnated Dr. Evil? haha) :twisted:

    What d ya think?
     
    #1
  2. Mortifier

    Mortifier Hall of Fame

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    Oh my god! I've never thought of those things before. I'm going to change my life completely and live by those seven philosophies.

    Thanks once again! Where should I deposit my donation?
     
    #2
  3. GOAT BAAH!!!

    GOAT BAAH!!! Professional

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. FedExpress 333

    FedExpress 333 Professional

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    LOL Nice thread. This is funny, but just wait till the *******s come to bash the OP, and then the *******s come to their rescue. See the battleground then!
     
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  5. Subventricular Zone

    Subventricular Zone Rookie

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    Whoa! Calm down, guys!

    Satire, anyone?

    Like I said, it was meant to be funny and I apologize if it's not and if I offended anyone.

    Tio Toni seems like a great guy and sure helped with Nadal's legendary mental strength.

    Cheers!
     
    #5
  6. ninman

    ninman Hall of Fame

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    Never buy an expensive car. The sign of someone who is truly humble is one who doesn't show off their enormous wealth.

    [​IMG]
     
    #6
  7. TheTruth

    TheTruth G.O.A.T.

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    I think it's funny, hilarious, in fact! You've got a great sense of humor from what I've seen so far.
     
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  8. MichaelNadal

    MichaelNadal Bionic Poster

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    That was fn great :) "Illusion" lmao.
     
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  9. Beryl

    Beryl Hall of Fame

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    Nadal bought a DBS when a regular DB9 is a better car for less money. :neutral:
     
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  10. cucio

    cucio Legend

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    But he parks it in the street. How's that not humble?
     
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  11. ninman

    ninman Hall of Fame

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    Always play within the permitted time limits. If the rules say it's 20 seconds between points, always take fewer than 20 seconds...oh wait, sorry.
     
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  12. vive le beau jeu !

    vive le beau jeu ! G.O.A.T.

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3ukCqmXmpE
    wouldn't this work better with the muzzette ? ;)
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2011
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  13. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Brilliant again, Sir. My sincerest apologies for calling you nadal_freak earlier. *scratches head*
     
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  14. rommil

    rommil Legend

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    8. It's ok to cheat in tennis, it's only a game.
     
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  15. vive le beau jeu !

    vive le beau jeu ! G.O.A.T.

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    #15
  16. ninman

    ninman Hall of Fame

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    Nobody will ever accuse you of using steroids.
     
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