is it possible I'm not fun to play with?

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by jmnk, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    so I have few self-made rules when I play. (I mean I do not read those or announce to anybody - I just follow them myself when playing.) I wonder if it makes me not fun to play with. We are talking matches with friends and such, not tournaments/leagues. Thoughts?
    1. I do care about winning. Either we practice and then we do not keep the score, or we play and the goal is to win.
    2. I do not cheat.
    3. I do not discuss line calls. I make calls on my side, you make calls on your side. If you question I do not reply, just go back to line to serve or receive.
    4. on clay courts I will show you a mark if asked, but I do not appreciate you coming on my side to check it from up close.
    5. i do not apologize for net cords, lucky shots, etc. I'm certainly not sorry, in fact if i could i would hit netcord every time.
    6. no talking during the match (I do not mind you talking, but it will likely be a monologue). After the match is over i will happily open a bottle or two. And discuss the match then.
    7. i do not thank for you complementing me for my shot. i do not complement your shots. i don't expect you to complement me. i just don't care.
    8. no replaying points (because you are not sure what the call is). If you are not sure you can ask me. You must accept my call then. If I do not know it's good. Same with my calls. i was not running hard to win a point only to pretend it never happened.
    9. whoever lost last time brings new balls.
    10. as i play to win i revert to pushing, slicing, lobbing, drop-shots - whatever it takes. If that makes you unhappy - even better.
    11. if you showed up I do not care if you are sick, had your leg amputated, went blind, or it's too windy for you. You are here to play.
    12. and you better do show up. we are all busy with wife/kids/work and spent five hours rearranging stuff to make a match - you better not call an hour before to tell me that you decided to go to the movies.
    13. there's no 'it was really close'. the score shows who was the better player that day.
    14. you are free to talk trash to me, throw rackets, scream at yourself - as long as you play next points within 25 seconds.
    15. i'm allowed rest time after odd games. If you are ready before me do some exercises.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2010
    #1
  2. fed_the_savior

    fed_the_savior Banned

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    to answer your question, yes it's very possible, but not if you find like-minded people

    some of those things are normal, some of them are a little uptight, imo
     
    #2
  3. El Diablo

    El Diablo Hall of Fame

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    Yes, you sound like a complete drag, unfamiliar with the concepts of "play" and "game." You might have a short life. (Factor analysis shows that the only part of the type A personality that predicts serious heart disease is unrelenting anger, which your post exudes.) Learn to relax a bit.
     
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  4. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    perhaps - but I'm pretty relaxed overall. what you mean by "play" and "game" concepts?
     
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  5. fed_the_savior

    fed_the_savior Banned

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    Here's a more detailed opinion:

    Nothing wrong with these.
    The "I do not reply" part seems unnecessarily cold. Just mention that you don't like arguing, or something a little less unfriendly.
    "I do not appreciate it." What kind of language is that. Why would you not appreciate someone wanting a correct call, and why does it matter whether you appreciate it.
    These are just a matter of preference. Some people find it a friendly thing, some don't. What really comes across in your list though is your attitude. Is it really necessary to sound so irritated about this stuff?
    This is only done among very close friends or not very serious players.
    You're not playing with the balls as prize money. If both enjoy playing, paying should switch off.
    This is irritating for a lot of people, but not unreasonable.
    You act like it's a grand slam final.
    This is reasonable.
    This is just opinion, but I'd think it's only pride that would make someone say something like that. Why can't there be "close" if both players are playing well and score isn't severely lopsided.
    This kind of makes it seem like you are taking it a bit too seriously, but at least you don't mind a little free expression.
    As long as you don't go over your exact time limit!
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2010
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  6. r2473

    r2473 Legend

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    I have a problem with this one.
     
    #6
  7. pyrokid

    pyrokid Hall of Fame

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    Wow, you sound terrible to play with.
    Have a little fun with stuff.

    You have to understand that, especially during non-tournament matches, the goal is not always just to win. You want to work on incorporating the shots you hit in practice into your game. Improving has to take priority over winning eventually.

    And even if none of what I said is true for you, it is for most people, and nobody will want to play with you if you act this cold all the time.
     
    #7
  8. JRstriker12

    JRstriker12 Hall of Fame

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    Agreed, you could loosen up a little bit. I'd be kind of turned off if my hitting parter basically was like - here are my rules for playing tennis....

    You are talking about playing with friends. Most friends want a social experience when they hit with another friend. You know, a little chit-chat, a little hitting, some laughs, a few kind words about their game. That doesn't mean that you can't play hard or be competitive, but friendly.

    If you want to be all serious and not talk, then play USTA or something where people act all serious.

    Some of the stuff you listed is just common courtesy (showing up) and rules as defined by the game (change over, calls, etc.). But everything else, try to has a little sense of humor.

    For example, unless you and your friend agree that the loser bring the next can of balls as something that's fun, I'd be kind of turned off by someone who going to try and force me to bring the balls if I lose.

    I usually buy a case, so I'm happy to bring balls or bring out my hopper for drills, but most of my hitting partners also bring a can. If anything, I usually bring a can or two and my hitting partner brings a can or two and with both open a can so we have more balls to hit with as a friendly gesture.

    I may joke and question a call, but no one takes it as an offense. At the very least, if someone asks, you usually just answer "yes I'm sure" even in a USTA match.

    Just my two cents...
     
    #8
  9. RD 7

    RD 7 Rookie

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    Let's imagine that you play the longest most dramatic match of your life. Let's further imagine that instead of a hand shake, your opponent wants a hug. Certainly you've seen the pros hug after a hard fought match.

    Would you accept a hug? -provided that it was "above board"?
     
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  10. Hot Sauce

    Hot Sauce Hall of Fame

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    What the hell? Why would anyone want to "play" with you?
     
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  11. fed_the_savior

    fed_the_savior Banned

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    how bout some of this:
    [​IMG]
     
    #11
  12. OrangeOne

    OrangeOne Legend

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    I reckon you'd be about as much fun to hit with as your ideal practice partner....

    [​IMG]

    Actually, no, that's unfair to walls, they're much less arrogant and obtuse...
     
    #12
  13. tennisdad65

    tennisdad65 Hall of Fame

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    It is entirely possible, especially if you insist of reading out all 15 rules to your opponent before you'll start playing :)
     
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  14. ramseszerg

    ramseszerg Professional

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    Hi Ms Angela Martin?
     
    #14
  15. rogerowns

    rogerowns New User

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    u gotta calm down and play quit being some kind of ruler of the court
     
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  16. norbac

    norbac Legend

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    There can be only one!!!
    [​IMG]
     
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  17. GetBetterer

    GetBetterer Hall of Fame

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    jmnk:
    Get rid of those. There you go.

    To me, you seem like this guy:
    [​IMG]

    I know...that's a low blow.
     
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  18. OKUSA

    OKUSA Hall of Fame

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    I guess if that's how you go about your business, then I hope your friends can cope with it. I wouldn't, I have to tell myself to shut up when I'm playing with my friends.
     
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  19. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    thanks for all replies. Just to clarify. I certainly do not read or announce those rules. These are just for me. And yes - hugging is entirely acceptable as it is after the match.
    about
    ####
    <<4. on clay courts I will show you a mark if asked, but I do not appreciate you coming on my side to check it from up close.>>
    "I do not appreciate it." What kind of language is that. Why would you not appreciate someone wanting a correct call, and why does it matter whether you appreciate it.
    ####
    I mean if my opponent questions my call and asks for a mark I will point to it. But if he proceeds to my side of the court to see it from up close - that is just against the rules. So while I'm not going to warn him I'll let him know it is not appreciated.
    about 'calming down'. I'm really quite calm. In fact I show no emotions at all, winning, losing or otherwise.
    about 'it's not always about winning'. What I'm trying to say is that I just do not like when we play hard for 2.5 hours, I edge a close victory, and the opponent tells me -' yah, but I was really just trying to work on my weaker backhand shot. If i was playing my best it would be a different story.' You know - you should have told me that 2 hours ago when it was 2:1 in the first set.
    about 'not discussing line calls' - I just do not see the point of it. I make calls how I see it, if I'm not sure it's your point, why discuss it any further? Am I supposed to change it because you think you saw it better from your baseline while I was two feet from the ball? i mean I'll say "I'm sure" once, but that will be the end of it.
    about wall reference - there might be something to it. You are assured of getting a workout.
    about Blagojevich reference - that's cold :)
     
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  20. fed_the_savior

    fed_the_savior Banned

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    Don't use the word "appreciate," just explain the rules. A lot of your points seem to be simply about keeping the rules, it is handy to have a copy of them if you play a lot of people that don't know them.
     
    #20
  21. pabletion

    pabletion Professional

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    you should play as many tournaments as you possibly can, I mean, there you play to win and not have to socialize at all with your opponent.

    I dont see why you cant play seriously to win and not have fun and let your opponent enjoy himself and actually want to play you again.

    I never play for just kicks and giggles, I take it seriously, but not even close as you do. Life is short, enjoy and be gratefull that you even have the possibility of playing tennis.
     
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  22. Figjam

    Figjam Banned

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    um you sound like an Ahole and I wouldnt bother to play with you, infact I hate playing guys like that in a real match.
    sure you want to win, but really why are you here?? there should be some fun, if you suck all the fun out, im going home and take a nap
     
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  23. ProgressoR

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    I would play you if you juggle oranges at intervals, and let me use your jacuzzi afterwards.
     
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  24. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    after reading responses I must ask - exactly which part of my behavior 'sucks the fun out of playing?' I play hard, I do not make any excuses, I'll give you all the credit if you win whether you hit hard, or smart, or push, or whatever.
    Is complementing someone's game that important? Is it not talking during the match? Can't we wait with this chit-chatting until after the match?
     
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  25. Figjam

    Figjam Banned

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    acting like a cold hardass, makes for no fun. if its not a sanctioned match of some sort, its practice/fun.
    face it you suck and have no personability.

    you just put out a sucky vibe, and NO ONE enjoys that.
     
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  26. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    all of the above may very well be true. Although I'm not sure why there should be a difference between a sanctioned match and a non-sanctioned one. Practice is different - but when we keep the score it's a match, whether it goes on tennislink or not.
     
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  27. RD 7

    RD 7 Rookie

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    Exactly. Something that says "The match is over and it's time for us to re-connect as friends."
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2010
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  28. mikeler

    mikeler G.O.A.T.

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    I believe it is against The Code.
     
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  29. 120mphBodyServe

    120mphBodyServe Banned

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    I want to hit you with a frypan already.
    Pray to whatever deity you worship that you never get to play me.
    Oh and I hope you take up martial arts, I'm sure you'll make lots of friends there who will enjoy bruising you.
     
    #29
  30. brad1730

    brad1730 Rookie

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    I think you already know the answer, but were looking for some kind of justification/support from online posters. You received a lot of negative feedback instead - because we have all played someone like you and (speaking for myself) have not enjoyed it. I have things that annoy me on court too, but I don't get bent out of shape about it. The last guy I played had to yell "NO", "OUT", "SECOND SERVE" - like I couldn't get it the first time. Part of playing and enjoying tennis is realizing that it's about getting a little exercise and having fun. If you want to be ultra-competitive, then play with a pro or sign up for tournaments.
     
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  31. albino smurf

    albino smurf Professional

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    Just socialize a little and all of the rest is no biggie unless you are tryiong to go pro and playing high ranked people. If then be prepared for a lonely time on the tour, but good luck to you.
     
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  32. PimpMyGame

    PimpMyGame Hall of Fame

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    I'm softer than you on rules 5,6 and 7. And if you can cope with that, I'd happily give you a game anytime we are close by. Anyone who'll sit down and have a beer with me after the match is fine in my book.
     
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  33. Falloutjr

    Falloutjr Banned

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    Not the first guy I'd call, that's for sure.
     
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  34. ronalditop

    ronalditop Hall of Fame

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    This is the part that really bugs me. If I were playing somebody that acted like that, I would never play with him again period.
     
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  35. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    not just possible , absolutely certain.

    lighten up, life's short.
     
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  36. jmverdugo

    jmverdugo Hall of Fame

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    If people keep calling you to play then you are fun to play with. I used to think I was not funny to play with, i will not elaborate about the reasons of this ;), but I always have someone to play everyday of the week and usually get more than a couple of calls from people asking me to play, so maybe I am not that bad.
     
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  37. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    You want to improve, we understand!
     
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  38. baseline_monster

    baseline_monster Professional

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    If you allow your self, and other allow you to act like this, you are going to get a huge surprise in tournaments dude. If you acted like this if I was playing you, I would not be happy
     
    #38
  39. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    The thing is that I do not care what my opponent does as long as it is within rules. So I actually do not get annoyed at all. I guess I'm surprised that so many would get annoyed by me not trying to get more social during the match.

    oh no, there's no pro for me. I'm way too old. like 'my kids are old enough and may go pro in something' old.

    thanks for lone support voice :)

    that is really surprising to me. It looks like people find it offensive that I do not want to discuss line calls - but at the same time they feel it is OK to question calls. I mean if you question my calls, repeatedly, isn't it sort of hinting that I cheat? Isn't it more offensive than me just not wanting to discuss it?

    I do not really have any problems trying to get a match.

    I sure do. Maybe I'm a bit too serious about it?

    That has not been really the case. Haven't noticed any major issues in the tournaments.

    two additional points (I suppose I want to elaborate on my reasoning).
    1) I see I could be more social during the match, complement you on the shot, etc. On the other hand, if I do not want to, is that such a big deal of the match experience? We can go to the bar after, can't we?
    2) not apologizing for net cords. That is my conscious choice. For two reasons.
    a) if you are really sorry for hitting netcord and winning a point that way, like sorry in the sense that you would happily 'undo' it if you could - how about losing next point on purpose? I've never seen anybody do that. Which means that saying 'sorry' is just an empty gesture. So I just don't apologize because nobody truly means it. Makes more sense to me. At least I do not pretend.
    b) if I'm expected to apologize for winning a point via a netcord why don't you apologize when I hit (almost) a clean winner off an easy ball that happens to catch the cord and falls out of bounds (or gives you an easy winner) so you win a point? I mean --you-- got lucky, no? I've never seen that one either.
     
    #39
  40. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    People apologize after hitting the net cord because they didn't earn it, they just got lucky. Just like when your opponent attempts to drop shot you and hits the tape, but the ball somehow rolls over instead. Sorry!

    But don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll find enough players to hit with regularly if you join a League or something :)
     
    #40
  41. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    yes I get that. But if I have a clean winner off an easy ball that happens to catch the net and falls out - he got lucky, he won a point although he did not earn it. But he doesn't say sorry, ever, does he? What's the difference?
     
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  42. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    He didn't touch the ball or put effort into making it clip the net, why should he even think about apologizing for your mistake? *If you get it, you get it. If not, happy tennis with your fwends!
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2010
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  43. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    120mpgBodyServe:
    For this I'd suggest a full-western forehand grip since it squares the hitting surface a full 90 degrees to your intended target at contact and imho provides the best wrist support, especially if you're swinging a weighted cast iron model.

    Let's take a look at some examples:

    Example One:
    [​IMG]
    1. Here we have an obviously drunken Helga Tittsbottom (Nicole Vaidisova's aunt) taking a swing at Radek Stepanek's father during the wedding rehersal dinner. While I like Helga extending her left arm for balance, her keen focus on her target and the raised pan position, I do not like the extended thumb nor the Continental grip which prevents her from hitting him flush with the broadside of the pan's surface without exaggerating (forcing) forearm pronation which compromises the wrist's "locked-in" stability during contact.



    Example Two:
    [​IMG]
    2. Here we have Tommy Haas (while getting in touch with his feminine side) shifting more towards a western than Helga T. in the previous photo but I'd like to see him go a little further "west" and eliminate that confounded 'floating' thumb that Helga employs not to mention the extended index finger: good for control on the serve, but I'd much prefer using a Boris Becker-like "hammer" grip when clocking the OP, 120mpgBodSrv. Haas' hand position would be suitable for cracking his target with the EDGE of the pan but that (imho) would not compare to the satisfaction one gets when delivering a "flat-surface" blow to the head.....oh and that lovely pan "BONGGG!" resonance at contact!



    Example Three:
    [​IMG]
    Finally, here's another example of why anything less than a full-western just doesn't seem to cut it.


    ask yourself this question: when have you ever heard of a SEMI-western omlet?



    OP: FIFTEEN "do's and don'ts" in your opening post? That seems a tad obsessive (with a side order of 'anger'), but in your defense I concur that crossing over the net to the other side of the court to check a mark (on clay) is a total Guido no-no and if I'm not mistaken something that's subject to a default-on-the-spot?


    Back to thread topic:
    "Is it possible I'm not fun to play with?

    Only you can answer that. Why not play with yourself a couple 'o times and decide.

    [​IMG]
     
    #43
  44. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    true. But it seems the premise is to say sorry because one got lucky. Regardless of who put an effort, or who touched the ball last.
     
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  45. Slazenger07

    Slazenger07 Banned

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    Lame.............
     
    #45
  46. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    Now I know why you're not fun to play with. :) I'mma hit the highway now.
     
    #46
  47. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    Sorry, only intended to poke fun at a dour drag of a thread.....
     
    #47
  48. pabletion

    pabletion Professional

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    I see your point, but does it hurt to just raise your hand for half a second? I mean, I really dont care if my opponent doesnt do it, its part of the game, it can happen to me as it can happen to my adversary, but still it doesnt hurt, its like releasing the tension for a bit. On a very close match, after a long hard fought point, I know I get frustrated if out of nowhere a let chord allows the ball to just drop on my end and the point ends like that. But to each its own, I dont mind if you dont say sorry or do anything, I just do it.

    Nothing wrong with being competitive and wanting to win, I love that, but at least on my part, Im not making a living outta tennis, I play for fun and sport also, its more fun to be able to, after a suffering a ripping parallel passing shot that leaves me just staring, tell my opponent: "nice shot you ugly son of a b....." and give him a smile. But like someone said, if you have no problems getting a match, then why bother wondering, it means you are fun to play with, I know I wouldnt mind beating the hell outta you one bit ;)
     
    #48
  49. Slazenger07

    Slazenger07 Banned

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    lol. I wasnt talking about you! I was talking about the OP. That guy would be really lame to play with. He's got to know he is too because Im sure most people that play with him do not take to all of his rules. Does he feel like he as to be a hard-ass to get under people's skin or what?
     
    #49
  50. jmnk

    jmnk Professional

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    that is not entirely the case. Most, if not all, of these 'rules' is something that only I have control over. For example - you can argue calls whatever you want, I just will not engage in the discussion. And it really does not bother me if you do argue - you will be just talking to yourself. Same with complementing shots - you can comment on mine, nothing wrong with that, but you can't make me say anything about your shots. So in essence the opponent has very little to do with these rules, it's hard for him 'not take to all of his rules' as you stated it.
     
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