Lost the passion?

Discussion in 'Tennis Tips/Instruction' started by imsoaznwashed, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. For the past month or so some stuff has been going on in my personal life and I feel like it has affected my tennis game drastically. I have been tanking matches left and right to players that I should be severely beating. I feel like i've lost the intensity and passion that I used to have and that's what's been wrong with me.

    Has this ever happened to any of you when the **** hits the fan in your personal life? What did you do to get over it?
  2. Fedexeon

    Fedexeon Hall of Fame

    Mar 28, 2006
    You need some counseling.
  3. gah moderator please delete thread. belongs in instruction/tips
  4. downdaline

    downdaline Professional

    Jul 12, 2007
    When the **** hits the fan, i play tennis. When i went thru my last fissure in my personal life, i played tennis 24/7. Hell i'd even swing a racquet while looking in the mirror to take my mind off things. I'd hit the courts in the morning, even when no one's there and just hit serves for an hour or so.

    Just leave it all out of ur mind and play your tennis. Bcos in tennis, the ball bounces exactly the way it should - it bounces true.
  5. alfa164164

    alfa164164 Professional

    Feb 19, 2004
    Yes, this has happened to me. I hate it when work, the wife, and the kids get in the way of the more important things. I usually handle this by brushing all those other things aside and focusing even harder on my tennis game. You must learn to develop an extremely narcistic, self-centered approach if you are ever to succeed in tennis. Good luck. (jk)
  6. theone

    theone Banned

    Sep 29, 2007
    I always go to the courts in the morning when it's empty and practice serves.. takes your mind off things.
  7. circusmouse

    circusmouse Rookie

    Jun 14, 2006
    Yeah, I've been there. Generally, I like to use tennis to get away from personal problems, but sometimes those problems become too much and seep into my tennis. I've definitely been unable to hold my head together due to personal problems and tanked matches. You need to either take a break from tennis to deal with personal matters or, if the personal matters can't be dealt with, you need to develop a new perspective on things in order to move forward.
  8. rbq4h4

    rbq4h4 Rookie

    Nov 7, 2007
    you may want try some hyponosis. there are some good do it yurself books out there and this cna help. my brother was having some anxiety and the hyponotism helped him. he tried the acupuncture first but this ddint work.
  9. CAM178

    CAM178 Hall of Fame

    May 8, 2005
    I don't even need things to go badly in my life for me to lose the passion for tennis. That's happening right now. I'm not working, and yet I have no desire to go and play. I could be playing a ton right now, but I'm not. I think partly because I know that it's about to get cold, and also because I know that when I start working that I just won't have the time to play for some time.
  10. RedWeb

    RedWeb Semi-Pro

    Aug 8, 2006

    Take emotional lows seriously and strive to deal with them in a straightforward and rational way. Tennis is not more important than God, self, family, friends, job, etc. Live long enough and you'll know this to be true. On your death bed would you rather be holding a tennis racket or the hand of someone you deeply love and have spent time sharing your life with?
  11. Slazenger

    Slazenger Professional

    Nov 1, 2005
    THis has definitely happened to me. 2 years ago I did something very horrible that affected my brother but I didn't tell him. I won't say what I did but it is something that people go to jail for.
    I had a match with a guy that I was really anticipating. I mean I was going to bagel this guy if I could, I was that determined. Either the night of or the day of the match, my brother called me and asked me about it.
    I can't describe how I felt at that point. It was a cornucopia of fear, sadness, shame, guilt... list goes on.

    I thought seriously about not even playing the match but I ended up playing and I lost badly. I had absolutely no focus or drive to play. I was going through the motions. Infact at some point I just wanted to get off the court so badly. I didn't care about the match. I didn't care I lost. I can't even remember the score and I'm very good with scores.

    I don't know what's going on in your personal life, but I wish you the best. Talking about it with someone you trust definitely helps. Keep your chin up man.
  12. fuzz nation

    fuzz nation Legend

    Oct 20, 2006
    Hmm... I haven't been through this kind of a wringer lately, but I burned out really hard at the end of the summer after keeping too heavy of a schedule on the courts for too many months. I decided on a significant change of gears, only played once or twice a week for a stretch, and then "click", I was back in a positive mindset out there.

    If mental and emotional demons are having their way with you and affecting your game, I think it's smart to put down the racquet and avoid counterproductive outings. At that point, tennis is not giving you a refuge and I believe that the bad experiences can perpetuate themselves - you may actually be unconscoiusly dreading your tennis every time you go out to the courts. Pulling the plug for a little while can diffuse that bad energy.

    I'm in a funk right now with an ex-girlfriend (she's a meany!) and while this um... "disagreement" isn't screwing up my tennis, I've got some extra steam to blow off, so the bike and the weights are getting some extra use. Riding and lifting don't demand that same concentration and timing, but they make it easier for me to keep an even keel by burning off any extra gas that my misfortunes add to my tank. Sleep is good!

    Stay rational and take care of number one.
  13. Commando Tennis Shorts

    Commando Tennis Shorts Hall of Fame

    Jul 17, 2007
    Tennis should be a way to escape, not a burden.
  14. Messarger

    Messarger Hall of Fame

    Jun 18, 2007
    Dont mix your personal life with tennis. I think of tennis as a place that i can 'escape' from the real world and express myself. When i go on the courts, i forget about everything good/bad that has happened to me and i just concentrate on hitting balls. Everyone goes through bad patches in life, i sure hope you'll find a solution to yours. But in the meantime, do not bring all these problems onto the court, tennis is too important.
  15. wow...you guys have been really helpful..i don't know what to say but i guess maybe i should just tell you guys what's been happening to me lately.

    i guess i usually have a lot to deal with personally, but the past month all of my problems have been accelerating at an alarming rate.

    I live in a one bedroom apartment with my father, aunt, and uncle. My father has been very ill for the past few years now and over the past month I have had to make the decision to put him in a nursing facility after he had to go to the hospital again for emergency treatment. My father used to be a brilliant man with a passion for music, theology, and the study of law and now he can't even remember his own birthday. I'm kind of afraid that he's going to die soon..

    My aunt and uncle that I live with also have problems. They are both drug addicts. Within the past month, someone broke into the apartment next door and stole some items from the nice lady. Later on, my Aunt tried to frame my uncle by planting the items in his car and parking the car next to the next door neighbor's car with the windows open to allow her to see them. This event has caused us to be evicted from the apartment.

    Now that i'm evicted, i'm bouncing from friend's house to friend's house to sleep at night. I have no family that is willing to take me in and no friends with possession of their own apartment/house. I have no money (which is bad for tennis as is) and have to sleep in my car sometimes and I definitely have a bad diet now. Over the past 2 weeks i've eaten hot food once last night..it was good! =D

    Anyway, on top of all this, I have school. I usually have 2 tests a week and i have no idea where I am in my classes right now..

    so..yeah..this is the first time i've told anybody about this..so..i guess this is the first step in getting my game back?
  16. downdaline

    downdaline Professional

    Jul 12, 2007
    Your aunt and uncle sound horrible. She tried to frame your uncle? Wat the hell mann?

    Well, yeah it's a definitely a first step to getting your game back, talking about your problems.

    Dont give up man, things will get better.
  17. ananda

    ananda Professional

    Sep 7, 2007
    i don't know whether the nursing facility allows it, but i would be spending more time with my father in such a case.
    The other prioirity would be studying.
  18. Ocean Drive

    Ocean Drive Hall of Fame

    Jul 24, 2007
    Why don't you stop playing tennis?

    You seem like one of these guys who is a club player and takes it mighty seriously, you should be playing 30% and beating these players if you should be "severly" beating them.
  19. futuretoptenner

    futuretoptenner Semi-Pro

    Aug 31, 2007
    I think you need to get your life back on track before you seriously start playing tennis again. You've got a lot of issues that need resolving, even great tennis players would struggle with the burdens you carry.

    I've been through my fair share and I think you need to think with a rational head. You need money and a place to stay. Try to get a job? Bursary? or some government funding for your situation (not sure how it works in the states). Get a place , start focusing on school, sort out your family issues properly and then , once you're on top of all that go back to tennis.

    I see no other solution , take it slowly ask your friends to let you stay at their place till your issues are resolved, also ask them to provide a good meal each day and tell them you'll pay them back once your feet are on the ground.

    Good luck with everything, I hope I helped in some way.
  20. CAM178

    CAM178 Hall of Fame

    May 8, 2005
    You seem like a. . . I'm not going to say it. This guy is homeless and dealing with drug-addicted relatives, and all you can do is criticize his tennis game? That is super classy.

    To the OP: I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this. Truly, I am. My recommendation is to find a few good friends who will allow you to stay with them. Slowly start to rebuild your life. Get a job and start to give these friends some money for feeding and sheltering you. Then focus on getting into college. Perhaps even a scholarship, as someone pointed out. It is not hopeless, though. This ordeal will cause you to question most everything. Don't. Just put one foot in front of the other for now. Just focus on one breath to the next. Before you know it, you will be hitting at Arthur Ashe Stadium, and chuckling on the inside as to where you were X number of years ago.

    Best of luck, man. 8)
  21. Messarger

    Messarger Hall of Fame

    Jun 18, 2007
    I'm sorry for you, but i dont think most of us here are qualified to give you any advice on your plight. I can safely say 95% of us have not been through all these. All the best, spend more time with your Dad.

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