Mail Order Brides

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by BillyIdol, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    Need I say more?

    John
     
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  2. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    Well, actually...I know this guy (Chinese) (in America) that met a Chinese woman (from China) on Yahoo Personals (China) version. She seems real pretty, and well settled in with him. He is not ugly. Real nice guy. Is she a mail order bride? I don't know. She is a foreign woman. I have to say that she is the prettiest Chinese woman (noncelebrity) that I have ever seen. They seem quite happy.

    Then when I go to church (Catholic), I see these older white guys with a Filipino younger women. I have some Filipino friends that told me that this is quite common for American guys to go over to the Philippines to look for a wife. I am told that couples like this are called Fil-Ams. Filipino-American marriages. I'm not saying they are all Mail Order Brides, but a few might be. I see several of these Filipino (woman) and American (man) marriages. Well, I see one Filipino (man) and American (woman) with a nice set of kids. I guess a few of these might be classified as mail order brides.


    1)What are the guys motivation? Why do they do this?

    2)What are the woman's motivation? I know that citizenship can be one, but are there others?

    3)Why do the guys feel the need to go to another country to find a woman?

    4)Are these guys not satisfied with American women, or is there something in foreign women that they love?

    5)Do these marriages last? Statistics would be nice.

    6)Are these marriages happy?

    7)Do you know anyone that has had a mail order bride/groom? How did it work out?

    I think that it would be good to stay away from the typical "These guys are losers that can't get a date with American women." stuff.


    John
     
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  3. LanEvo

    LanEvo Hall of Fame

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    i want an asian girl, they hott
     
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  4. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    The 'Mail Order Bride' business is most often just a front to traffic exploited women (often from poor countries) into the country, where they are then essentially enslaved into some form or other of prostitution and/or end up in abusive relationships.

    The women are lured by promises of quality jobs and with promises of a wonderful relationship with a great guy who has money, etc.

    It is a thoroughly disgusting business.

    "Girls as young as 13 (mainly from Asia and Eastern Europe) are trafficked as "mail-order brides". In most cases these girls and women are powerless and isolated and at great risk of violence (quoted by La Strada, Ukraine and Sanlaap, India)."

    http://humantrafficking.change.org/...s_relationship_with_mail_order_brides_service


    https://mdorozen.dot5hosting.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=100


    http://www.asiasociety.org/policy-p...ing-children-prostitution-and-unicef-response



    http://brokendreams.wordpress.com/category/mail-order-brides/


    http://www.protectionproject.org/commentary/brides.htm


    http://books.google.ca/books?id=3w-xAgGUsaYC&pg=PA885&lpg=PA885&dq=%22mail+order+brides%22+trafficking+prostitution&source=bl&ots=3e97SODyDl&sig=NItsy09Sfn1_PEJZTUrbQbWstrE&hl=en&ei=C9aUSs7HOMultges_d1G&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=20#v=onepage&q=%22mail%20order%20brides%22%20trafficking%20prostitution&f=false
     
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  5. tata

    tata Professional

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    japanese for the win~!
     
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  6. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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  7. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    Deuce

    Thanks for screwing up my fantasy!!! Just kidding.

    I mean...come on...obviously I don't think that guys should try to marry a 13 year old. That's sick!!!

    I remember a special that Chris Hansen did about sex tourism. There was a fat, goofy looking doctor that was sleeping with a few 8 and 9 year olds. Man...that was gross. I think that it was some Asian country like Thailand or Cambodia. I'm pretty sure that this doctor has been prosecuted. I'm not for this at all.

    One time I went to a dance here in Los Angeles where you could meet "pretty Filipinas". I went when I was about 39 years old. I thought that I was going to be "the old guy". Before I went, I was wondering if I was going to see a lot of the stereotypical "white guys in their 50s and 60s". Well...I did go. Some of the women were pretty, and some were ugly. And yes....the stereotypical 50 and 60 year old white guys were there in full effect. Well, it turns out that I wasn't "the old guy" but "the young guy".

    Ok.....let's not use the words "Mail Order Bride" how about "Meeting Foreign Women". I am certainly not for anyone "trafficking women" and "abusing women".

    I learned about this site a few years back. I agree with a lot of it, not all of it. The site recommends having sex with foreign women without marriage. I'm a big believer in marriage. I don't own the site, and no...I'm not an affiliate. The site is www.nomarriage.com. Unfortunately, parts of it make sense.


    John
     
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  8. SoCal10s

    SoCal10s Hall of Fame

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    a friend from way back when,did this. he married a 'mail ordered bride",she was from Malaysia. she spoke English,she used to work in a church,she was also very attractive.. once she got here ,she lasted 2 1/2 years,she took off and left him.. it's been over 10 years since,and he still has not recovered his life after that.. he sort of just gave up on real life,just a broken man in more ways than one...
     
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  9. wyutani

    wyutani Hall of Fame

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    i dun mind mail ordering a doubles partner who is at least a 3.5, left hander.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2009
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  10. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    ^ Children are an inherent part of the "sex with foreign women" and "mail order bride" industries.
    You're a teacher, right? Do your research.

    ^ How about we call a spade a spade and use the proper words "Exploiting naive, inexperienced, desperate, and vulnerable young foreign females".

    ^ This, too, is very inherent in the practices of which you speak.

    ^ Your link is to a site whose attitude about American women is very typical of men who abuse and exploit young, desperate, and vulnerable foreign females.
    This kind of site encourages American men to go abroad and pay for sex with young, desperate foreign women, and/or to marry them so that they can further exploit them. It encourages sexual exploitation of the vulnerable.

    'Sex tourism' hurts vulnerable young females. Period.

    I know about this stuff.

    Again - if you possess a genuine interest in this subject, you should make the effort to do a proper research.
    Start with the links I've provided in my previous posts

    Read one of these two books - 'The Johns - Sex For Sale, and the Men Who Buy It' - by Victor Malarek. There is a chapter in this book all about the attitude that American women are bad - as is claimed all over the pathetic website you linked to.
    http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Bu...riminal+offence/1666953/story.html?id=1666953


    or 'The Natashas - Inside the New Global Sex Trade' - also by Victor Malarek.
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2004/aug/12/ukcrime.prisonsandprobation1

    This is not a topic which can or should be 'discussed' flippantly by people who know very little about it.
    I therefore suggest that you do the research so that you have a strong base of knowledge about the topic, then come back and start another thread about it if you choose to.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2009
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  11. VivalaVida

    VivalaVida Banned

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    Deuce, you hit the nail right on the head on this dirty business.
     
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  12. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    Deuce

    Yeah, you've got some points there.

    I know that there are creepy guys out there that want to get a sexy little Asian number, and abuse her, and hold citizenship over their heads. Well....that isn't me. I guess we have to look at intent. What is their intent? I think that we already know that. What is my intent? To have a happy marriage someday.

    I guess the lengths that the men will go to get a sexy woman knows no bounds. Men have an appetite for young women. I just think that most of these men have been "raised by the world" that includes a lot of pornography. So "the world" is producing a bunch of super horny guys, and they have to find someone to have sex with. I guess this is why sex tourism is on the rise. I mean...look at how many special Chris Hansen has done about men wanting to be with underage children.

    What do I like about foreign women? Well, a lot of them still believe in traditional roles for men and women. To me, that is good. I believe in feminism and all that, but there are still male roles and female roles. What is wrong with wanting a woman that wants lifelong marriage? I know that a lot of men don't want this, but I do. Now that I think about, I would not want a Mail Order Bride, but a woman that has Old World Values. I think that a few Mail Order Brides have this, but how do you filter out the green card sharks? You probably can't.

    Who wants a woman that wants to compete (feminists, like my ex) with you? Why not try to get a woman that tries to cooperate with you? And I think that it would be better find a woman here that does not have immigration issues. Immigration can muddy the waters of marriage.

    A lot of people hate Eharmony, but I read some of his books and it makes sense. You need to be compatible in many areas. Marry someone a lot like you. When I stayed with my sister in Colorado, she signed up for Eharmony and they sent her a book called "Date or Soulmate" and it talked about how you needed to be very compatible in many areas to have a successful marriage. This book really blew me away. The problem that I had with my exwife was that she was smoking hot (latina), but we were incompatible in many ways. She was a spender, and I was a saver. She was more erratic emotionally, and I was more even keeled.

    So....forget about the Mail Order Bride title. I was trying to be funny, but it turns out the topic is not so funny. Sorry. It is really sad what people put these women through.

    Next topic: Golddiggers

    How do you avoid them? You meet these women, they seem fine in the beginning. You marry them, and then you find out they were really after money. How do you avoid this? I don't know, marry a woman with as much money or more money than you? Beats me.

    Oh well...I'm tired....I'm going to bed.


    Cheers!

    John
     
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  13. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    Deuce

    Thanks for the sites!!!

    I'm checking them out now!

    John
     
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  14. max

    max Hall of Fame

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    It's funny, but the situations I've seen suggests that this ain't a bad way to go. Some very stable, loving relationships, children, etc.

    But of course there are people with problems getting into this. . .
     
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  15. eagle

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    Come on. Enough of the political correctness and walking on egg shells already please.

    Mail order brides are mail order brides.

    Undocumented immigrants are Illegal aliens.

    Sanitation engineers are trashmen.

    Physically challenged are handicapped.

    Follicly challenged are bald or balding.

    Adding more syllables doesn't make it any better. It just distorts or deludes the meaning.

    Back on topic ... as far as mail order brides go, I can only guess that the success rate for a long lasting relationship is very low.

    Most of the women are pawned off by their parents in the hopes of improving the family's financial condition. Most women who become part of it by choice I imagine are naive or misinformed.



    r,
    eagle
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2009
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  16. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    Ah, mail order brides: where economic imperialism meets low self-esteem.


    Any souless piece of trash considering such a counterfeit-type union should--IF HE WERE A REAL MAN--opt for the "no victim" option instead:

    [​IMG]
     
    #16
  17. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

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    When talking about adults and excluding the underage girls, I would say its simple. Men who have trouble finding women in the US will look overseas because its easier to find women who are willing to date, marry, or just provide companionship to them. Its probably because they have social problems or are too weird and get rejected endlessly by US women. Unfortunately these types of relationships are probably not very genuine, as the mail order brides are in the business to get out of their country and find a better life in the US.

    I don't blame them. I have a friend who's early 30s and just very depressed because women don't like him. The only women that show any interest in him are grossly overweight and he doesn't want an overweight woman. He's the type that would end up with a mail order bride if things don't change for him. He's not a bad guy, just lonely and unhappy right now.
     
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  18. ollinger

    ollinger Legend

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    I believe Freud suggested that arranged marriages, not quite mail order but similar, might be the most successful because people are less likely to marry someone for neurotic needs.
     
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  19. tennisdad65

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    Its 'Email Order Brides' these days.

    Maybe these guys just like foreign ladies. But I think it is more so for older men who want younger ladies.

    Plus, the man can control the lady, since she has to stay married with him till she gets her green card or citizenship. I seriously doubt these marriages last too long after her green card/citizenship. Maybe, if they have kids together it lasts a bit.
     
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  20. tennisdad65

    tennisdad65 Hall of Fame

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    like the arranged marriages in Indian culture? That is arranged by the parents of the groom/bride and different from this.
     
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  21. goober

    goober Legend

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    The examples you give I don't consider mailorder. The chinese couple met through the personals on the internet. That is hardly a mailorder situation and is not different from any other couple that meets through a personal ad these days. The second example you give of American guys going over to the Philippines is not really mailorder either. Obviously in that situation, both people meet and date or hang out together even it is for a short time. Both parties can say no, and nobody is forced into anything although they may both have their own motives.
     
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  22. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    Goober

    Thanks for the support! That is what I thought. These are more like "foreign women" situations. No money changed hands. I mean I can talk more to the Chinese guy that married the Chinese woman from China, but they seem real happy to me. She walks her Irish Setter around the tennis courts that I play at, and her husband and I play tennis occasionally. She waves to me, and I wave back. She certainly doesn't seem like she is in a bad situation. The guy even told me that she wasn't sure that she even wanted to get married or come to the US.

    With the guys going to the Philippines, it seems like the are looking for true love to me. If a guy only wants sex, there are much cheaper ways to get that (not my style though). Maybe the guys going to the Philippines like Filipina women. For the most part, they are more traditional and have more family type values. Are there mail order bride situations? Yes. I heard there was even legislation passed in the Philippines that forbids any 3rd party agency from setting up meetings with Filipinas and guys from foreign countries (mail order bride stuff). I guess a certain percentage of the brides were being abused. I have also heard of a good percentage of the grooms being abused/killed by the brides. I heard of a few Russian brides killing their husbands on the news a few years ago. I guess it would even be easier to just meets Filipinas here, and save the plane fare. I guess the idea of going to another culture/land sort of has some romance/adventure to it. Oh well.....

    Deuce: How do you know so much about this?

    John
     
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  23. LetFirstServe

    LetFirstServe Rookie

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    hahaha all those old guys that have those mail order brides look the same. like some old ugly looking child molesters. not all of them are mail orders, some of them just married extremely late.
     
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  24. goober

    goober Legend

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    lol- I didn't realize I was supporting you. Are you planning something?:)

    Just watch out for the gold diggers and greencard seekers.
     
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  25. BillyIdol

    BillyIdol Rookie

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    No...forget mail order brides....seems very risky, and the women are probably pretty shifty. Again, I have never done mail order bride, but now...it doesn't look good. You have to watch out for green card sharks PLUS gold digging, that is too much. I'll just meet women here.

    I think that I more accurately defined what I want.

    John
     
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  26. NickH87

    NickH87 Semi-Pro

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    I have no problem with women, its just that I want specifically a hot european chick with green/blue/grey eyes and a heavy accent. Its too hard to find that where I live and the only chance I have is Miami every march for the Winter Music Conference which is a huge party for a week, then they go home. I am 21 and if I dont find what I want I wont marry, then I will go to europe.
     
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  27. LetFirstServe

    LetFirstServe Rookie

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    do you mean eastern european? those hot strippers with those colored eyes make up like 80% of the strippers where I live. almost a parallel case in this thread; them coming over here just to strip.
     
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  28. NickH87

    NickH87 Semi-Pro

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    Well next time you see them, let them know that NickH87 is offering them a home in the states. They just have to learn how to play tennis, go out with me to the bars and clubs, and if it works out, it does, if not, line them up.

    But on a serious note, they arent all strippers, so I want the not ***** ones.
     
    #28
  29. CanadianChic

    CanadianChic Hall of Fame

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    Sorry about your friend but really, buyer beware.
     
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  30. soyizgood

    soyizgood G.O.A.T.

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    Things the Westernized, man-hating, power-grubbing, control-obsessed, femin@zis won't like to hear.

    http://www.nomarriage.com/why_foreign_women_are_better.html

    I've had a thing for foreign women since I was a teenager and barring some great American girl falling on my lap, I'm not likely to go back to American women. Foreign girls (excluding Western Europe and even then they aren't as bad as American women) aren't as plastic, pretentious, cold, and mentally unstable like the ones you commonly see in the US. Generally, they haven't forgotten how to be feminine and are better at treating their men with respect.

    http://nomarriage.com/ just spells out the cold, harsh reality about the stereotypical Western woman. :twisted:

    Most men do not find power-hungry, manipulative, whiny, attention-craved, back-stabbish, overly jealous and insecure, man-bashing women to be particularly appealing. For men that do, :eek:
     
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  31. CanadianChic

    CanadianChic Hall of Fame

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    Where is the link that spells out the cold, harsh reality about the stereotypical Western man?

    Most women do not find lazy, apathetic, slovenly, whining, attention-demanding, sports-obsessed, boorish, boring, loud, bad dressing, gaseous, cheap, women bashing, chore hating, overly demanding, fantasy-driven, overeating men with poor personal hygiene to be particularly appealing. For women that do, :shock:
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2009
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  32. raiden031

    raiden031 Legend

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    Part of American culture is for both men and women to put themselves first, so when it comes to marriage, and both refuse to compromise then sure problems will occur. I agree that an American man would probably mesh better with a foreign woman than an American woman for this reason.
     
    #32
  33. soyizgood

    soyizgood G.O.A.T.

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    American men are coveted by many types of foreign women. I don't know any group of foreign men that covet American women...

    Apparently only 20% of marriages to foreign women end in divorce. Compare that to the 40-50% divorce rate with American women.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2009
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  34. soyizgood

    soyizgood G.O.A.T.

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    Double post..ack!
     
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  35. SoCal10s

    SoCal10s Hall of Fame

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    that's alot to say about American woman: but as you see, don't limited it to USA.. there are a lot of westernized woman types I call "macho"woman I cannot stand.. go to Hong Kong and you'll find so many crazy *** women there you'd want to just shove a fist down their mouths ...
     
    #35
  36. Golden Retriever

    Golden Retriever Hall of Fame

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    Again the American media is to be blamed. Just watch any American drama and a meaningful relationship is depicted as man and women staring down each other, shouting at each other at the top of their lungs and maybe pulling a gun out at each other. Somehow thats their idea of equality between the opposite sex.

    Of course, they all end up in bed with each other so it is a good meaningful relationship afterall.
     
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  37. Deuce

    Deuce Banned

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    I have done work with prostitutes, strippers , and others who have been sexually exploited and abused. This is simply a natural extension of that - so I do a fair amount of research on it, read books, attend conferences on these subjects, meet people, etc.

    And I care about people - especially the vulnerable and exploited.

    People who form such biased, stereotypical perspectives of an entire, massive group based on their own very limited experience cannot possibly be considered rational.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2009
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  38. Puddy

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    GO GIRL!!!
     
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  39. Kobble

    Kobble Hall of Fame

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    That site is hilarious. This cracked me up.

    [SIZE=-1] reasons to marry an American woman [/SIZE]
    1. [SIZE=-1]
      [*]You actually believe BBW = big BEAUTIFUL wife.
      [*]You believe nagging is essential for personal growth.
      [*]You really look forward to the day your BBW wife divorces you and you gladly fork over 50% over your hard earned assets, plus child support and alimony (a lard ass ***** for sure is not going to have a good job). Then after that you have to figure out how to live on 20% of your income.[/SIZE]
    LOL!
     
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  40. Kobble

    Kobble Hall of Fame

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    That sounds like the description for the fat white women.
     
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  41. SoCal10s

    SoCal10s Hall of Fame

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    I think that 40-50% number's got to be higher for real people... haha ... every white guy I know,who married a white girl(first wife) got a divorce ..

    yeah all the idiot ones, I knew a Philippino woman who wanted to marry and have kids with white American guys only because she thought having an interracial bred child looks good..
    alot of asian woman are into black/American men for the same reason as above so they can have a Tiger and/or Obama kid..
     
    #41
  42. loddie

    loddie Guest

    SoCal10s, I have a question for you unrelated to this thread. Your public profile does not provide a way to contact you. Can you email me at leroyoddie (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks!
     
    #42
  43. Oui c'est moi.

    Oui c'est moi. Hall of Fame

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    Maybe they take after their fathers.
    Honestly have you ever thought about that, American girls are raised by American dads as well. :???:
    So mostly likely soy, you will find that perfect foreign wife to bear you American children (providing you remain in US) and your daughters are going to be the responsibility of you, the American father, who will 'fail' at his job.

    Same thing goes for women who complain about their own men being undesirable. You raise them, so take part of the blame will ya.
     
    #43
  44. Peters

    Peters Semi-Pro

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    Like someone else mentioned, it would be nice to see some statistics. A large chunk of brides that come over probably only do it to get more money over a set period, exchange it month by month and send it back to their families in their homeland.

    Or, as sometimes happens over here in the UK, try to gradually get their family members to move over here and take advantage of our benifit system.

    That said, there are genuine successes. But these are normally instances of guys that happened to be over there travelling and met someone naturally - which stand far more chance of lasting.
     
    #44
  45. Dedans Penthouse

    Dedans Penthouse Hall of Fame

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    CC, I found you listed 18 "E-Harmony" personal qualities in the above.

    Just curious: in your opinion, how many "personal qualities" (between 0 and 18) would constitute a deal breaker? ;-) .... one?....maybe two?....lol.....
     
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  46. mtommer

    mtommer Hall of Fame

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    Wha....Whaaattt?!!!??? You mean....you're sure.....possibly mistaken.......no? Man oh man, well that certainly explains alot! This is the last time I ever take anybody elses advice! :x
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    :D
     
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  47. sureshs

    sureshs Bionic Poster

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    35,022
    Don't listen to the pompous moralizing going on here. I know a guy who got a mail order bride from Russia and they are fine. It isn't as if they arrive in a package. He had to visit her two times in Russia, and fill out a whole bunch of paperwork. To get a green card and then citizenship for her, the couple must have been together at the same address for N number of years and all that. There are many immigration safeguards. Of course, there are always exceptions, but that is true in every activity.

    The reasons are many. Women in many countries want a better standard of living. In some places, there are not enough eligible men due to war, etc. Some of the women have been supporting the entire family for years and had no time or money to get married, and then finally they arrive at a point where they want to take care of their future. From the US male point of view, quite frankly, many older men who have gone thru divorces/splits are through with American women. Privately, over a couple of beers, they will tell you that they cannot take the independent/golddigging/nagging/manipulative habits any more, and want a woman who does not think she is a princess to be worshipped. There is also an age demographic here - many poor young women are abroad, and older males are here.

    So, yes, don't listen to the "moral policeman" on this board whose job is to judge everybody and impose his misery on them.
     
    #47
  48. soyizgood

    soyizgood G.O.A.T.

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    11,323
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    My paternal grandmother is from Japan. My grandfather met her when he was in the army a few years after WW II. She had to learn English by watching soap operas, had 4 kids in a 7 year span, they had to travel because of his army career, and from what I heard from others he was hardly an angel towards her. He wouldn't let her give the kids Japanese names, so she had to wait until I was born to do that.

    I saw her in May. My first time seeing her in 13 years. Despite all the things that went on during the almost 40 years they were together before he died, she loved him. She was thankful for all the places they went (many many countries over 5 continents) and she holds no bitterness towards him. She enjoys life to the fullest, does traditional Japanese dance on her free time, helps out the other elderly people at the elderly home she resides, and she's self-sufficient. To be honest, she was too good to be with my grandfather, but their kids turned out pretty good.

    Part of my bitterness towards American women is from my experience with my mom and sister. If my mom had influenced me, I would likely be much of the things CC portrays the stereotypical American man. Thankfully, I took after my dad. :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2009
    #48
  49. soyizgood

    soyizgood G.O.A.T.

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    11,323
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    On my dad's family, all 3 of my dad's siblings 1st marriages ended in divorce. If my dad had not died early, it could have been a complete sweep because my mom became a witch when she got all his insurance money.
     
    #49
  50. NickH87

    NickH87 Semi-Pro

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2008
    Messages:
    666
    So white women divorce, spanish women have kids by the time they are 21, its rare for a black woman to marry out of their race.

    I will stick with foreign european hookers from canada.
     
    #50

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