Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by kairosntx, Feb 5, 2008.
You can either ask us to do something -OR- tell us how you want it done.
And which of those can we tell women, exactly? Neither. . .
If we ask what is wrong and the answer is "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong.
We can sense that something actually is wrong, but it's just not worth the hastle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
I sense that something is wrong...
I want you to use apostrophes properly.
Am I playing correctly?
Come to a man with a problem -only- if you want your problem solved.
That's what men do.
Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.
Feeling a little bitterness towards the fairer sex?
Oh come on people... it's all tongue in cheek. they come from an email that has been forwarded all over the world twice. Just having a little fun... This is the correct thread for that isn't it? Here is the entire list...
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
tell that to my former boss
Sounds like some folks are really impressing the ladies...
Thou shalt not commit adultery...much.
lmao at that list!
Some people take things way too seriously
Say there are three urinals in the bathroom. If all three are empty, use one on outside, not the middle one, in case someone comes in and needs to use the urinal. No man should ever be urinal to urinal with another man. If the two outside urinals are occupied, use a toilet, or pretend to check out your face in the mirror until they open up.
Separate names with a comma.