Good discussion...A few responses:
Its an arms race, and many schools can't keep up just ask the MAC conference. But goes deeper then athletics it happens in general with endowments and misguided approaches to philanthropy. Malcolm Gladwell has an awesome series of podcasts on this if you really want to take a deeper dive. Essentially, the schools that are rich just keeping getting donations and money, and put it towards frivolous things while the schools that could really use money are having to penny pinch. Stanford has enough endowment money to not charge a tuition to any student for the next 30 years, yet thy keep getting donations, and from people who have nothing to do with Stanford but just want the publicity. I bet UC Santa Cruz would love to have some donations like that, and what would be the impact to students there? Think about it.
I don't fault schools for trying to have great facilities to attract recruits, but many AD's come from revenue sport backgrounds and put all their time and effort into those sports rather then looking big picture. Butch Jones example is just stupid, why I used it. But it shows the mentality of many of these guys. And schools like Texas and Ohio State that get tons and tons of money donated by benefactors and corporations who want to see Football Championships so they can afford to spend 2 million dollars to reside the football practice field or have videos playing highlights in kids lockers in their practice facility. Its when the conferences start mandating amenities that the schools have to get frugal with their other sports to do it. Its a myth that football makes money, it basically breaks even except for some of the schools that really have a following.
I played tennis all through Jr's and in D-I. Have had really inspiring and great coaches, and coaches that were clueless. Thats just life, and having been in the working world now 25 years its the same thing. I personally believe that a coach is the same as a good teacher or good manager, and they are fortunate to have an immediate impact on the life of students, one that can last a lifetime and change the course of what a student does or becomes. Countless stories of coaches who have inspired people to greatness and to achieve things beyond their capacities. They make movies about this. Your nephews clearly had a bad coach, but I wouldn't judge the industry on that communicated experience. Coaches have one job, and its to lead the team. Defining leadership takes many forms, but the baseball coaches you refer to I would imagine reap what they sow
100,000 showing up is a myth. Sure, Ohio State, Alabama, Michigan achieve those sort of numbers, but look at any conference outside of the power 5. I agree with you on the football coaches, way overpaid, over supported, and the assistant coaches are now commanding more. Certainly if someone has proven themselves they should be paid or courted, but schools are so desperate for a "winner" they have an arms race of coaching going on. People are getting wise to this and students are starting not to show up. People are tired of the salaries, and the non-sense associated with the programs. As stadiums empty the salaries will too...
This is an interesting set of articles on the University of Buffalo that will help with the perspective on Football and its impact
https://www.buffalo.edu/ubnow/stories/2017/04/UB-sports-reduction.html (read the comments here....)
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/728690-college-football-2011-18-quietest-fanbases-in-the-country
Ah, they go hand and hand. Would encourage you to dive deeper into this. Title IX has been around since the 70's, and just calls for equal sports. That happened...but its a combination of the demands of conferences, TV packages, sports channels, Betting agencies, boosters for high revenue sports, regulations for scholarships in mens sports (not part of title IX), and the strain football and basketball have on athletic programs from a budgetary perspective. I can go on and on about tennis in particular but I have done that in other threads.
Have a lot of thoughts on how they could do this, but money and marketing dictate the calls....