my friend and i like the same girl, need help

Discussion in 'Odds & Ends' started by BkK_b0y14, Jun 14, 2007.

  1. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    ok so i like this girl. My close friend has known her since last year because they had some class together, and i just met her this year (although we all went to the same school last year). and all my friends somehow figured it out that i like her except that close friend. then i finally told him about it. then later i hear my friends talking about how my close friend likes the same girl i do. i asked my friend if he liked her too, and he said no and that he just wants to be friends first, and that i can make "my move". i started getting to know the girl a little bit, but my close friend is real good friends with her too. The girl i like has so much in common with me. whenever i had a real good conversation with her he would butt in and embarrass me. so i kinda stopped talking to her for months except the occasional hi and how are you, until recently. i asked my friend again and he said he likes her too. and i was like wtf u said u didnt like her. and he says its ok i wont let a relationship get between our friendship but yet he always walks and has long conversations with her, (he even has her cell number which i havent got yet.). and the past month or so my other friends have started urging my friend to ask her out but he has been putting it off. supposedly he already asked her out as of today, according to my friends. and he hasn't told me, one of his closest friends. What should i do?

    sorry for such a personal topic....im just really pissed.

    BkK_b0y14
     
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  2. princess bossass

    princess bossass Semi-Pro

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    How old are you? I don't mean that in the attacking sense, just for perspective.
     
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  3. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    all three of us are 16
     
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  4. yodudedudeyo

    yodudedudeyo Guest

    ah, teenage love. It seems as if it were only last year that this was happening to me. Oh wait....I'm 17 and it was last year! Well dude, dont know what to tell you except that it sucks. I'd just advise that you tell how him how you feel about this gal and how he's making you feel. I've seen one too many best friend duos breakup over a girl.
     
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  5. Prod

    Prod New User

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    Scream, "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

    Kick him down the well.

    Problem solved.
     
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  6. Sup2Dresq

    Sup2Dresq Hall of Fame

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    Rock, Paper, Scissor.. !
     
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  7. Geezer Guy

    Geezer Guy Hall of Fame

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    You can keep worrying and fretting about it, or you can actually do something about it.
    Hike up your britches, and ask the young lady out!
    (And do it quickly, before she's already involved with your buddy.)
    Your friend doesn't have exclusive rights to her (yet), so make your move.
     
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  8. Punisha

    Punisha Professional

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    zomg its scissors paprer rock... anyway believe me in a year you will be like wtf was i thinking . Teenage love is just a load of BS really. Your body is screwing you round by releasing large amounts of various hormones and you body changes.

    I went through this teenage love drama and im sure pretty much everyone has. Heres something to prove my point though that teenagers arent really falling in love as much as getting their sexual drive. When asked in sex ed last year why would 2 ppl want to have sex the class as a whole came up with heaps of answers... none of which included love, married, want to have children etc. Was pretty funny :p but ive talked to other ppl and its what happens. Your body is getting ready to begin reproduce and it sorta irrationalises your judgement.

    Anyway in other words i believe you dont truly love her in any way of form and wont truly as a teen and that instead of possibly killing your relationship with a friend just dont bother.

    Teenage love is a disaster. Just look at romeo and juliet lol. It might last a year but once you get through puberty and begin to really mature you will look at her differently and it will prolly end no matter what. Dont embarass your self by writing poetry etc as as right as it might feel your gonna look back and feel embarassed :p and also amused i spose.

    Anyway you dont have to listen to me. Id personally take friendship, as it will last longer... i mean what are the chances of your and her marrying and staying together for ever. Just remeber that as a teen statements such as 'sacrifice everything for love' is just a load of crap, dont screw your life over for it.

    Finally sorry for an incoherent argument. See if you can watch the segment raging teens for The Human Body. That tv series will give u a good insight into what the hells goin on.
     
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  9. Bad Dog

    Bad Dog Semi-Pro

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    “All is fair in love and war.”
     
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  10. Orly_Yarly

    Orly_Yarly Rookie

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    Does your friend also play tennis?

    if so the problem can be solved on the court !!1!
     
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  11. princess bossass

    princess bossass Semi-Pro

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    Well, you guys are sixteen. If they do get together, he or she is bound to mess it up in no time flat. Lay low until they get together, break up, and the whole mess blows over, then if you still think she's cool when you're 18 or so, swoop in.
     
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  12. VGP

    VGP Legend

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    After all your loafing around, both you guys will miss the boat and she'll end up dating someone who's got the balls to actually ask her out.
     
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  13. Starlite

    Starlite Semi-Pro

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    In my opinion, I think you and your friend should both pursue other people romantically. Neither one of you will end up marrying her, so it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. The girl is probably loving the attention from both of you right now and possibly doesn't have intentions to date either of you. And even though your friend says it wouldn't bother him, deep down it would. I think you'll just have to think it out and trust your own judgement on this matter. I've been on both sides of this problem, so I hope my advice helps.
     
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  14. drakulie

    drakulie Talk Tennis Guru

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    Give me her phone number. I will ask her who she likes, since netiher you nor your friend are willing to lay it all on the line (so to speak).
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2007
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  15. Bronc10is

    Bronc10is Rookie

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    haha..trust me

    I just completed my freshman year of college, I was with a girl first semester...come back second semester, and we dont talk much, and she starts dating my best friend. My answer would be , if he is that good of a friend, dont let her ruin it, she wont be there forever but dont talk about him to her, or her to him..because if you really like her it will probably get you mad. thats my best advice, if this is your best friend, hes going to be there for you at times when this girl isnt.
     
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  16. Sausalito

    Sausalito New User

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    Seems to me that you´re more fond to your closest friend than you´re to this girl you both like.
    I mean, the main problem here, for what I've red, is that you feel he has failed you as a friend by not being sincere about his true intentions from the beginning, rather than a "who gets the girl" thing.
    You need to figure that out first.
    Now, on the other hand, your friend seems to be waaay ahead on you on getting to this girl´s heart, and not because you didn´t had a chance...you did and it passed right by you.
    Considering that, I think you should focus on the friendship and move on to the next girl, but let your friend know how he hurted your feelings
    One piece of advise: in the future, when dealing with a girl, better get to the point fast, make it clear to her from day 1 that you´re interested (but, please, don´t look too anxious or she´ll run away from you FAST).
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2007
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  17. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    you guys would make good counselors and mentors. such great advice. this is such a tough situation, i need to think about this more and take this advice into consideration.

    yes, he plays tennis but it would be no competition. i would win 6-0. if i challenged him he would refuse.

    and its not that i'm afraid to ask her out because i believe in getting to know a person be4 asking them out. my close friend has gotten real close to her and i hardly talk to her. whenever i seek friends for help they just say that oh he's known her longer than you have, you should just back off..and she isn't bound for some other guy because according to my friends she likes him. but they havent talked to her and actually asked who she likes. next week is finals and last day of school is following monday, so my luck is running out.
     
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  18. Voltron

    Voltron Hall of Fame

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    Pffft, like I'd know
    Rock, Paper, Scissors, *rock to your friends head* (I've actually done that/had that done to me)
    What if he doesn't have a well? Remember kids, high windows and roofs work just as well as wells. ;)
     
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  19. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    she's different, she has never had a boyfriend and she has a hard time deciding whether or not she should get into a relationship. my friend that is a girl is one of her best friends (but shes like a sister to my close friend). and i've only met my friend this year so it's not like im fully fond of him. he had a girlfriend for all of last year but i guess he did something wrong and caused them to break up.
     
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  20. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    ill be back in an hour or so, i have to return my prince mv4's to the store. but i'll keep looking for your guys' advice on my cingular 8125 (cant post tho).
     
    #20
  21. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    wow, i just found out from one of my friends that my close friend is going out with the girl i like. he asked her out on wednesday. and he hasn't told me yet. wow, what a friend, he broke our pact of bros b4 hoes. backstabber.
     
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  22. BigServer1

    BigServer1 Legend

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    Yeah that sucks. In the future, I would go for the girl unless it was a really, really good friend (and if it was a really good friend, he probably wouldn't be dating her right now). This is good practice for real life. If you and a good friend were up for the same job, and you knew he REALLY wanted it, would you just give it to him? Hell no. The better man gets the job, just like the better man gets the girl (sometimes...girls can be trouble...just kidding ladies!). Chances are you won't even be friends with this D-bag for much longer anyway. Girl lost, but life lesson learned. Go get 'em, tiger.
     
    #22
  23. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    I don't care if this has been stated before, but "All's fair in love and war." Not to sound rude, but do something about it, don't just sit there and complain.
     
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  24. jmsx521

    jmsx521 Hall of Fame

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    Bkk boy14, by the time both of you were waiting, if she had interest in anyone of you she would've already made her move... assuming that she is civilized and doesn't act like a tenage princess waiting to be picked-up by anyone.
     
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  25. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    You should upload pictures, rofl.
     
    #25
  26. Zets147

    Zets147 Banned

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    Bros B4 Hoes don't work
    and BTW.. that guy is not your friend.

    Have fun~
     
    #26
  27. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    Not to be insensitive, but..

    1) He obviously didn't have a good line of communication with his friend to begin with.
    2) He doesn't have enough interest in the girl to actively attempt to compete with his friend, otherwise it'd be "game-on" between the two of them.
    3) Using the "bro's before hoe's" excuse is pure BS to me, because his friend obviously didn't find any value in it.
    4) If she were actually interested in him, I'm sure he'd have known/seen it.
    5) His friend has done nothing wrong in attempting to date this girl.
    6) The author of this OP should move on and at least focus on his tennis instead of this dilemma because it's obviously OVER for him. (Why should he focus on his tennis? Because he obviously loves the sport--enough to post this problem in a odds/ends section of a tennis forum!)
     
    #27
  28. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    its not like i wasnt going to ask her out. i was going to but then a couple of my friends that are girls told me to back off and let my friend go out with her..i was pissed and tried to go and put some moves on her but i would always find her talking to my friend.
    and pls read my post. they r going out. thanks for everyone's advice i really appreciate it
     
    #28
  29. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    do u really want to see pic of him? lol..
     
    #29
  30. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    OP: What should you do? IF you actually did have a good chance with her, then I'm going to say you just had bad timing, because your friend is already on the job of trying to hook up with her. If you really do like her and see some potential in her, then try to privately talk to her, without your friend or anyone being there. She'll probably open up that way. And it doesn't have to be elaborate or anything, just take the time out to talk to her for a few moments. If she's the good person as you believe her to be, then she'll break it all down for you. But God only knows what she'll say to you.
     
    #30
  31. Zets147

    Zets147 Banned

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    It's over, don't get your "revenge" on a message board lol

    Good work Mr. Alpine
     
    #31
  32. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    what should i talk to her about? shes already dating my friend...
     
    #32
  33. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    Look, if you are mildly interested in her even though your "friend" is dating her, then you should just leave it alone. But if it really bothers you that much, you should talk to her privately about it. Maybe she can help ease that pain of yours with her perspective on things.
     
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  34. zapvor

    zapvor Legend

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    dude you guys are 16. menage a trois all the way. i like the paper rock scissors too though.
     
    #34
  35. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    deleted pics.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2007
    #35
  36. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    she knows i like her but she will just take sides with my friend.
     
    #36
  37. Zets147

    Zets147 Banned

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    Tracy!? I thought you were posting under the username Boss_Hardass! (just having some fun) :lol:
     
    #37
  38. zapvor

    zapvor Legend

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    what about pictures of the object of lust?
     
    #38
  39. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    dont got any except if u want me to scan a bad yearbook piicture
     
    #39
  40. Zets147

    Zets147 Banned

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    I don't think these people (especially the "object of lust") would appreciate you putting their pictures on the internet without their permission. kkthx
     
    #40
  41. zapvor

    zapvor Legend

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    yea i was kidding.
     
    #41
  42. fujitsu77

    fujitsu77 Semi-Pro

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    listen, all you have to do is show your friend pics of Drak's girl, Anna. Then, your friend will fall in love with Anna and you can get your girl!! PROBLEM SOLVED!!
     
    #42
  43. 35ft6

    35ft6 Legend

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    You and your friend should agree that whoever she likes gets to date her, no hard feelings. Guys calling dibs on girls is stupid. Unless he's been in love with her for years, but it seems like this isn't the case.

    Of course, that's the way I think it SHOULD be, but I'm sure somebody will get their feelings hurt.
     
    #43
  44. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    I think this thread is just a form of release for the kid--his head is probably a mess since it's "teenage love" as someone else has put it. We should all find him a new racket to try out, maybe he'll forget about her and his "friend" lol. Tennis should be your new friend, until you heal!
     
    #44
  45. jmsx521

    jmsx521 Hall of Fame

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    Hey Bkk boy14, is this girl opinion-less? If she just waits for anyone of you to make the first move and pick her up, then you should be glad you are not with her!
     
    #45
  46. princess bossass

    princess bossass Semi-Pro

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    LOL :eek: Who is this poor Tracy?? Are you referring to me, Zets? :confused:
     
    #46
  47. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    i dont really think i need a new racket. i just ordered another pog (and its not healing me....). only thing i dont like about pog is serve, i wish i can get more pop on my kick serve. but back to the topic pls.
     
    #47
  48. AlpineCadet

    AlpineCadet Hall of Fame

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    What does that mean? That she isn't interested in you, but she's attracted to your friend instead?
     
    #48
  49. BkK_b0y14

    BkK_b0y14 Semi-Pro

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    I mean that it would probably b akward to talk to her in private and let her know my feelings cuz we haven't had a real converstaion in a long time. and since she is going out with my friend I think she might side with him. I honestly don't think this relationship will last. so we'll just wait and see I guess..since all of ur guys advice is just to move on and forget about her. I won't forget because there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her..
     
    #49
  50. stoutman11

    stoutman11 New User

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    i love topics like this, especially when they are kids. When you are 16 this is a big deal. When you are a grown man this stuff doesnt matter. You will realize probably about the time you go to college that there are sooo many girls/women in this world!

    This girl that you lust after-forget about her! Your friend nor you will marry her. She is just a learning experience for both of you. You take a lesson in friendship and he is taking a lesson in dating. Both relationships probably wont last more than 1yr or so.

    When you get older and you have a friend that is into a girl just let him go for her cuz there are 1000 girls even hotter out there waiting for you.

    If you and your friend go to the beach do you fight over a grain of sand? no
    should u fight over a girl? no

    WHen you are older u will look back at this situation and laugh.
     
    #50

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