Nadal Decline Poetry

Discussion in 'General Pro Player Discussion' started by JoelDali, May 11, 2011.

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  1. cucio

    cucio Legend

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    Ah, beat me to it, but mine is better, at least formally :) Limerick adheres to very strict metrics, you should be able to sing it to a bouncy 6/8 time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2011
    #51
  2. FedererBestTennis

    FedererBestTennis Professional

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    Awesome, JD! Which forum will it be in?
     
    #52
  3. jones101

    jones101 Hall of Fame

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    Rafa Haiku

    Djokers in your head
    All your fans just sighed and said
    'He ain't catching Fed'
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2011
    #53
  4. Outbeyond

    Outbeyond Legend

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    JoelDali
    Has far too much
    Time on his hands

    :)
     
    #54
  5. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    My attorneys are meeting with a senior TT admin tomorrow at my Villa in Milan to dicuss thread placement options as it is projected to be such a popular thread we may have to scale the Forum with 3 more servers and throw up an A10 2500 to distribute the load.

    There are talks of posting the Epic Eagle of Life Rogi thread in General Player but the foot traffic patterns during the HC season are not in line with the numbers we're seeking.

    I'll let you know when its poasted.

    [​IMG]
     
    #55
  6. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    [​IMG]
     
    #56
  7. fednad

    fednad Hall of Fame

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    What poetry on this thread.
    JoelDali "The GOAT" strikes again.
     
    #57
  8. Gorecki

    Gorecki G.O.A.T.

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    as you wish sir... :

    Vogon poetry generator availiable here:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/vogonpoetry/lettergen.shtml

    my try on the app :

    See, see the rafael sky
    Marvel at its big orange depths.
    Tell me, lopez do you
    Wonder why the Bull ignores you?
    Why its foobly stare
    makes you feel topspin monkey.
    I can tell you, it is
    Worried by your roids roids facial growth
    That looks like
    A bananas.
    What's more, it knows
    Your butthurt fans potting shed
    Smells of Rafael Nadal.
    Everything under the big rafael sky
    Asks why, why do you even bother?
    You only charm tip of my fingers.
     
    #58
  9. ruerooo

    ruerooo Legend

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    Yee-up.

    Original Vogon poetry still better than any of this.

    *nods*
     
    #59
  10. ruerooo

    ruerooo Legend

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    I laughed till I cried
    This free verse is better than
    Any of the rest


    :lol:

    :lol:
     
    #60
  11. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Limerick Time

    There once was a Serb matador
    So skilled the Bull could not gore
    His thrusts to the heart
    Made the Bull fall apart
    With each and every losing score
     
    #61
  12. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Joel is shayari at its best.
     
    #62
  13. Overheadsmash

    Overheadsmash Semi-Pro

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    Need to credit Neil Peart for most of those verses - still great stuff though:mrgreen:

    I like the Arthur Ashe stadium part lol.
     
    #63
  14. rafan

    rafan Hall of Fame

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    Please don't give up your day job
     
    #64
  15. Rippy

    Rippy Hall of Fame

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    I liked the OP's poem. :)
     
    #65
  16. mandy01

    mandy01 G.O.A.T.

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    This thread title itself makes me laugh :lol:
    It's mean. Really mean but in a funny way.
    Dali you have incredible trolling potential :cool:
     
    #66
  17. fednad

    fednad Hall of Fame

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    He is the "Ghalib" of this forum.....
     
    #67
  18. Colin

    Colin Professional

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    Victims of a Sad Blood Sport

    It's a sad truth that even the most savage masters of blood sport
    know that one day they'll encounter an enemy they cannot thwart.

    And so the dulled champion knelt, in his darkest close of day —
    In the fall of Rome, in rueful repose, Rafa left crying on his clay.
    As the bull's blood stained the red dirt a deeper shade of red
    Came Rafa's death-bed whisper: "Why do I not play Fed?"
    But it was Nole that day with sword a'sway, inflicting boundless hurt,
    A few break points convert and topple the Spaniard's empire of dirt.
    And, too, it was true that Rafa fell on asphalt, Rafa fell on grass.
    Like Gandalf crowding at the net: Rafa, you shall not pass!

    No matter the surface, it's the bull who's lain slain upon the floor.
    Nole says: "Lay out a carpet, sir, and I'll beat you here once more.
    And by the end of the season, you'll even be losing again to Fed.
    But look on the bright side, friend, at least you can still eat bread!
    No number of water bottles can save you, so retire with your knees,
    And savor only thoughts of doctors bequeathing you some disease."
    Yet, Rafa's death came only on the inside; still his heart kept beating,
    His mind an ocean of anguish, of losses vivid and repeating.

    At first, the hells of Indian Wells seemed of anguish Hades-sent.
    In Miami, his heart was rent. But Madrid: What sorrowful lament!
    How could Uncle Toni let him lose in Spain, no wound to feign?
    Just a brain to blame. Surely his legs and soul held equal pain.
    Rome felt like a harbinger of the biggest stage to embarrass.
    But a raging Roger raptly told Rafa: "Babe, we'll always have Paris!"
    Alas, fate can only wait a fortnight or two to catch up to you.
    So, on Centre Court, came time for Rafa and Novak's pas de deux.

    And, watching the score, ever heartsore, Rafa's emotions outpouring,
    but maybe that's just the price you pay for calling Pete Sampras boring.
    Novak dressed up as Shakira to make fun of Rafa? Sure, it was clever.
    But the demolition at Wimbledon was Nole's greatest mockery ever.
    Perhaps being the butt of that joke has Rafa grasping at his behind.
    But, please, show some couth, man: The troubles are in your mind.
    The rest of the season's cast in a pall now that the bull fears the ball.
    There will be no friendly doubles pairing this summer in Montreal.

    And so every match feels funereal upon the sepulchral court
    until that longest of all MTOs can end this sad blood sport.
     
    #68
  19. Rippy

    Rippy Hall of Fame

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    Holy ****.

    That is absolutely incredible. :shock:
     
    #69
  20. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    The quality of this thread is declining, I am afraid.
    ;)
     
    #70
  21. kanamit

    kanamit Hall of Fame

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    This is the best poetry to come out of parents' basements in years. Not.

    The whole thread is a giant face palm.
     
    #71
  22. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Colin: GPOAT!

    Wow! You could give up your day job!
     
    #72
  23. Hitman

    Hitman G.O.A.T.

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    Copyright it and publish it as a tenis article. Seriously, incredible stuff!
     
    #73
  24. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    I'm usually a big fan of Dali's threads but this one make me hurl blue baby vomit.

    Unsubscribe me.

    Fast.
     
    #74
  25. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Dude, you are wasting your time here. Go and read kiteboards threads if you want some serious fluff.
     
    #75
  26. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    I Believe He Has!

    Look at the PopeJoel's signature!
     
    #76
  27. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Dude bra I'm in Montreal inside some insane strip club called Le Super Sex.

    I can barely type, gimme a link, wtf is KB up to now.

    Omfg these Montreal women are fuchen incredulous.

    Can I move here daddy?
     
    #77
  28. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    haha, totally missed that !
    I actually read your earlier post criticising yourself and got worked up and was about to pen an angry reply, and then saw the poster was yourself ! Quite a funny moment.

    I am not too sure I approve of your current location and activities, Joel. Many people have squandered their immense talents courtesy wine and women ;) Practice abstinence like Nadal.
     
    #78
  29. rafabull

    rafabull Semi-Pro

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    Terrible thread not for the OP's idea, but for the failed poems.
     
    #79
  30. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    Projectile Pigmentation Confirms True Identity!

    It had been rumored but is now confirmed by your own confession...PopeJoel and PapaSmurf are indeed one and the same person. Thanks for clarifying this fact in such a "colorful" method.
     
    #80
  31. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    You Speak of Ernests???

    It is an important cog in the tourney preparation for young Ernests to emulate The Dali Way of Life...wine, women and God only knows what else have vaulted the Latvian into an orbit only previously navigated by icons named Nastase, Gerulaitis and Safin. Off-court preparation is key to proper inner balance. The Dali man can show the way to the struggling lad!
     
    #81
  32. Ben Hadd

    Ben Hadd Semi-Pro

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    I smell win. Nice photo too, really gets me in the spirit. In other news, I can't believe I just read 5 pages of fluff pokeatree.
     
    #82
  33. TennisBatman

    TennisBatman Semi-Pro

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    God save our gracious King,
    Champion of everything,
    Until today...
    His mighty serve prevailed,
    Tho' only now it pales
    In the face of the might
    Of the Serb's return...


    God save our mighty Bull,
    Nimble and powerful,
    His forehand sings...
    Endowed with spin and force,
    Powered by strength of horse,
    Alas it could not hold this time,
    O the Bull's loss stings...
     
    #83
  34. jkang909

    jkang909 Rookie

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    its like saying i am interested in reading these
     
    #84
  35. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Don't hit your head
    On the way, out.
     
    #85
  36. tusharlovesrafa

    tusharlovesrafa Hall of Fame

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    I Vote This As The Most Boring Thread Of All Time...
     
    #86
  37. stringertom

    stringertom G.O.A.T.

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    ^^^^

    It's official...now that you've posted.
     
    #87
  38. tusharlovesrafa

    tusharlovesrafa Hall of Fame

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    I am happy as my contribution to this can shut this stupid and moronic thread....:twisted:
     
    #88
  39. Fed Kennedy

    Fed Kennedy Hall of Fame

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    This thread is kind of like Dali's "Casino" whereas the Eagle thread is his "Goodfellas". Although Goodfellas is indisputably better, Casino is still entertaining as hell.

    Dude Joel my dude, whatever happened to that other epic poetry thread where the OP made an accidental haiku in broken english about his pure drive and then we rode it forever? I can't find it...
     
    #89
  40. Sentinel

    Sentinel Bionic Poster

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    Nadal loast
    Is he toast ?

    -- Jackson vile

    There was a man from Spain
    Whose topspin was a huge pain
    Especially for the Master
    Who cried.

    There was a man from Belgrade
    Who ate topspin for breakfast
    He beat Nadal
    Five times in all.


    ----
    Guys, please tell me how i am doing, its tough work but very satisfying.
     
    #90
  41. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Its in the Adult tourney league section....that thread is drippng with win too.
     
    #91
  42. adidasman

    adidasman Professional

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    Once again, irrefutable proof that, though many imagine themselves poets, few are. Especially on this forum. (JoelDali gets an honorable mention, though - most of his poem stayed within its established structure. Better to write free verse than to butcher rhyme and meter and stanza length.)
     
    #92
  43. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    Those who can, do.

    Those who can't, troll.

    Mine was a theft as already pointed out. That makes your criticism void slash nullified.

    Mature artists steal, immature artists imitate.
     
    #93
  44. adidasman

    adidasman Professional

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    Those who can are published poets and songwriters. (That would be me, thank you very much.) Those who can't...well, those who can't post poems on TT forums. (And if you stole that, perhaps you should be more particular about what you pilfer. If you're going to steal, might as well steal something good. Gee whiz...I tried to compliment you, you know. As bad poetry goes, yours was pretty entertaining.)
     
    #94
  45. F-T-S

    F-T-S Rookie

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    Really, really good. I'm still laughing at "we'll always have Paris."
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2011
    #95
  46. Photoshop

    Photoshop Professional

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    [​IMG]

    stay strong, rafa fans, stay strong.
     
    #96
  47. adidasman

    adidasman Professional

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    Now this is epic poetry. I'd wager you never see the like on an NFL forum. Tennis players are just Renaissance people, you know.
     
    #97
  48. JoelDali

    JoelDali G.O.A.T.

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    [​IMG]
     
    #98
  49. Gorecki

    Gorecki G.O.A.T.

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    another nadalete? are they like mushrooms? pop out of nowhere???
     
    #99
  50. Sid_Vicious

    Sid_Vicious G.O.A.T.

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    I had to throw up when I saw that picture. How lame can you possibly get?
     
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